funny incidents with doctors

[Guest guest]

i received this by mail hope u all like it

Firoz Borle (2002)

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Doctor, please hurry. My son swallowed a

razor-blade. "

" Don't panic, I'm coming immediately. Have you

done anything yet ? "

" Yea, I shaved with the electric razor. "

_____

" Doctor, Doctor, You've got to help me - I just

can't stop my hands

shaking! "

" Do you drink a lot? "

" Not really - I spill most of it! "

_____

" Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the

violin after the operation? "

" Yes, of course... "

" Great! I never could before! "

_____

Man speaks frantically into the phone, " My wife

is pregnant, and her

contractions are only two minutes apart! "

" Is this her first child? " the doctor queries.

" No, you idiot! " the man shouts. " This is her

husband! "

_____

Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad

news.

Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad

news first.

Doctor: The lab called with your test results.

They said you have 24 hours to live.

Patient: 24 HOURS! Thats terrible!! WHAT could

be WORSE? What's the very bad news?

Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since

yesterday.

_____

A man goes to his doctor for a complete checkup.

He hasn't been feeling well and wants to find out if

he's ill.

After the checkup the doctor comes

out with the results of the examination.

" I'm afraid I have some bad news. You're dying

and you don't have much time, " the doctor says.

" Oh no, that's terrible. How long have I got? "

the man asks.

" 10... " says the doctor.

" 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks? What?! " he asks

desperately.

" 10...9...8...7... "

_____

A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a

cucumber up his nose, a

carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right

ear.

" What's the matter with me? " he asks the doctor.

The doctor replies, " You're not eating properly. "

_____

A young woman went to her doctor complaining of

pain.

" Where are you hurting? " asked the doctor.

" You have to help me, I hurt all over " , said the

woman.

" What do you mean, all over? " asked the doctor,

" be a little more specific. "

The woman touched her right knee with her index

finger and yelled, " Ow,

that hurts. " Then she touched her left cheek and

again yelled, " Ouch!

That

hurts, too. " Then she touched her right earlobe,

" Ow, even THAT hurts " ,

she cried.

The doctor checked her thoughtfully for a moment

and told her his

diagnosis, " You have a broken finger. "

_____

Firoz Rajiv Borle

Final MBBS,9th sem.

MGIMS,sewagram

Wardha, Maharashtra,

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