Re: The Psychology of Anger - February 27, 2006

March 2, 2006

Personally, I feel that it is my anger that has helped me to heal

some. When I felt like I shouldn't be angry, or I was angry with

myself, or I felt guilty all the time- I was much sicker. When I

finally started saying, " What's wrong with being angry? " and let

myself feel it, I finally started to dig out of the worst of the

symptoms. Not to say I'm healed or close to it, but I am certainly

not as willing to just take whatever someone dishes out and then go

home and cry because I'm so wounded. I may not always tell off the

person, or even really express to them how I feel because I'm still

working on that, but I have become aware that it was my anger and

guilt towards myself that held me back, and let people abuse me.

Even now, while I'm trying to switch doctors, I had to let myself be

angry and then even my husband got on the phone and argued with them,

because his office was insisting they could not fill a prescription

for sleep meds because my insurance changed. Meanwhile, I spent two

weeks without sleep while interviewing for full time work, and

sliding backwards at least 50% because of that missed sleep. I am

angry, and I'm not sorry for it. It's part of life, and if someone

treats me like dirt, I'm not going to apologize for them or question

myself twenty ways to Sunday. I'm going to acknowledge that they

treated me poorly! This doesn't mean I abuse them back, but it does

mean that I deal with the reality that someone else is responsible

for their own inability to treat me with dignity, and that it doesn't

come from something I did. I mean, if I did do something, I

apologize. But so often, it's those of us who can't express our

righteous anger who end up abused because we are so tied up in trying

to forgive the other person, when what they've done is unforgiveable-

or not mine to forgive.

Anyway--- I am not really new to this group, lurked for awhile,

posted a long time ago, but have become more active (obviously!)

lately. So, hello everyone!!!

Best,

alphadog

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