new member

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 2/12/2003 10:58:45 AM Pacific Standard Time,

Zimmermankaren@... writes:

> My mother was finally diagnosed with LBD

, I'm sorry to say this will be a ride you will never forget. The

" monster " (LBD) has all the cards and knows all the tricks of the trade.

Most of us are holding on the best we can. Is your Dad still with her? If

so is he still able to handle the daily finances? You may eventually have to

take this on yourself.

Keep reading the messages -- it's amazing how much you can learn. And, don't

worry, there are a lot of folks who will read your message and reply with

very " sage " advise.

By the way -- being " more observant " probably wouldn't have helped you a

whole lot. Most of us thought the odd behavior was the result of just

getting a little older. No one EVER spots the beast before some 4-8 years

have already passed. Do not blame yourself for not seeing a problem. Not

your fault.

Take care -- you're no longer alone in this fight -- we're all right there

with you.

Be well and stay strong.

Joni

[Guest guest]

Welcome to the LBD Caregivers Group. I wish I had some type of definate

path your mom will follow but as you will see in the posts, this disease

fluctuates and changes so often it is tough to pinpoint. I have learned

that Alzheimers affects a certain area of the brain, Parkinson's affects

another area of the brain...LBD affects the whole brain. So, some of

what you may expect is symptoms of both AD and PD. Along with those

symptoms, other struggles can be agitation, depression, hallucinations,

stooped forward posture, drooling, mood swings...the lists are almost

endless. Some even experience tremors, my dad did not. Keep in mind

the LBD patient is most likely sensitive to neuroleptics meds...mainly

anti-psychotics. Also know that giving meds. for a PD symptom can throw

the AD side off and reverse. So, a grim picture but not a run ride of a

disease. Please ask specific questions, maybe we can help. Post when

you need to and also keep us informed. You are added to my prayer list!

Sandie

Des Moines, IA

[Guest guest]

Debbie,

What part of California do you live in. I live in ez. (Bay

Area). Shirley

> Hi!

> After a year of testing, my 51-year-old husband has been

diagnosed with

> LBD. I'm glad there's a group out there to help me when questions

arise. I

> know there will be a lot.

> Debi

> California

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Debi

I am not sure if I welcomed you to the group. So, please excuse me if I

have, and if not...I am now officially welcoming you. There is so much

hands on experience and support that you should never feel totally

alone. Please keep us posted. Also, you are welcome to stay with this

group yet there is another group that may be more suitable to your needs

as a spouse. If you click onto http://www.lewybodydisease.org

an area to the left will come up saying something like 'email groups' or

'LBD email groups' - click on that and it will take you to the 2 types

of email groups. This one - LBD caregivers and Caringspouses group.

Best of luck.

Sandie

Des Moines, IA

[Guest guest]

hello Debbi, your husband is very young to have this illness, you will find

this group very helpful, even comforting when things are bad, I am new here

too, but I bid you welcome.

Gudrun

in Georgia

[Guest guest]

> Hi!

> After a year of testing, my 51-year-old husband has been

diagnosed with

> LBD. I'm glad there's a group out there to help me when questions

arise. I

> know there will be a lot.

> Debi

> California

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi!

I'm in Ventura County, northwest of LA.

Debi

[Guest guest]

--- Debi - I am so sorry to hear about your husband. He is very

young, my father was also recently diagnosed, he is 69. Can you

tell me a bit about your husbands symptoms? I just feel like I need

to know more myself. Thank you, In LBDcaregivers ,

ryono4@a... wrote:

> Hi!

> After a year of testing, my 51-year-old husband has been

diagnosed with

> LBD. I'm glad there's a group out there to help me when questions

arise. I

> know there will be a lot.

> Debi

> California

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I was asked about my husband's symptoms. He's 51 and has been having problems

for several years. I first thought he was getting withdrawn and a little

dense with " old age, " but a year ago it became evident there was something

wrong. He fell several times and " forgot " how to get up. He would forget how

to put gas in the car or suddenly ask where we were. He had trouble following

TV shows and couldn't remember how to perform simple computer functions. Most

of the time, though, he was fine.

He had a spinal tap in early January to check for NPH, and within 48

hours was in the hospital with an abscess on his spinal cord. He was

hospitalized for nine weeks, and during that time the hallucinations set in.

He was living half in a fantasy world and half in the real world. The doctors

started him on Risperdal (I saw another e-mail on that) and the

hallucinations stopped within two weeks. He hasn't had any since starting the

Risperdal. He now also takes Aricept. In the hospital, I was told he would

need 24-hour care the rest of his life, but thanks to the drugs, he can be

home by himself while I'm at work. God has blessed us.

Debi

[Guest guest]

In (?)

Welcome to the group. You said your dad is 69 and recently diagnosed

with Lewy Body Disease. Are you his primary caregiver? Also, may I ask

if you are in the U.S. and if so, what state? Does your dad have a

neurologist he is seeing? I truly believe it makes a difference to have

a neurologist involved in the care of a loved one with LBD, and

preferably one that is educated and knowledgeable with LBD.

I will add you to my prayers. Please post anytime, about anything or

even just to babble.

You are not alone in this journey.

Hugs of strength!

Sandie

Des Moines, IA

[Guest guest]

Welcome ,

Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. It was definately

NOT a rambling diatribe. Your mother is blessed to have such a

devoted son.

You mentioned that your Mother's symptoms had become more pronounced

after a trip. Any time we take our LOs (loved ones) out of their

surroundings they do tend to do worse. Some bounce back, some don't,

so we tend to limit their travels and time away from their home.

My father (84, lives with us) had all the symptoms you described and

most all have been eliminated with the medication Exelon. I have

limited experience with meds so will leave it up to other members of

this group to give you their opinions and suggestions on that.

Every LBD patient is different as you can see by all the posts. You

can use the Search feature to find what kind of experiences others

have had with the medications you mentioned.

You wrote you have concerns about the future. Is it possible for

your mother to live in assisted living (AL) as an alternative to a

nursing home (NH)?

Please keep us posted and feel free to ask questions or vent.

Hugs across the pond.

Jan

Sacramento CA

[Guest guest]

,

Welcome to the group. Your mom is lucky to have such a devoted son. I

am glad you found this group. You will find a lot of support here.

Just being able to talk to people who actually understand what your

going through will be a great help. Take care, Shirley (mom has LBD

will be 76 in June.)--

- In LBDcaregivers , " Pearce " <ahuone@i...>

wrote:

> Hi, my mother, Jo, was diagnosed with LBD mid to late last year as

a

> result of concerns as to her behaviour and other symptoms. She has

> recently turned 74 years of age.

>

> A bit of background concerning Mum: My father, who had diabetes

for

> forty years died November 2001. Mum and Dad had been married for

45

> years and, through his diabetes and while he was a farmer, Mum's

full

> time focus was to look after him and the four children. Shortly

> before Dad died, Mum and Dad bought a house in Wanganui, NZ, the

> first time they had not lived on a farm for their entire married

life.

>

> In April 2001, Dad fell and broke his hip. He was in hospital for

6

> weeks as a result. During that time Mum stayed 20 min out of

> Wanganui with my brother. He reported various conserns regarding

> Mum, including bouts of forgetfulness and her not taking her

> prescriptions at the right time. The rest of the family did not

take

> much notice, as we had not seen any evidence of these symptoms.

One

> morning my brother couldn't raise Mum so he called an ambulance and

> she ended up in the same ward as my father. Dad spent a lot of

time

> at her bedside. I remember one time late in the evening just as we

> were about to leave asking Mum how hse was. She asked how Dad was,

> and when we told her that he was good, she said, " Well, if he is ok

> then so am I " . This comment typifies her dedication to Dad.

>

> Following Dad's release from hospital they bought the said house,

> then went to Auckland seeking alternative treatment for Dad, who

was

> not feeling at all well. Following their time in Auckland, they

> spent some time at our holiday bach in Taupo because Dad did not

> think Mum could look after the bigger house in Taupo. We dismissed

> Dad's opinion as he had always been disapointed with Mum's ability.

>

> They eventually shifted to the new house six weeks before Dad

died.

> After he died, Mum was consumed with grief. We stayed with her as

> long as we could but had to return to our lives in various parts of

> the country. Mum was therefore left alone in her new house, with

> various members of the family visiting most weekends. This was for

> the better part of a year.

>

> Durinng that year there were indications she wasn't coping,

including

> cooking for lots of people even though she was living on her own,

and

> saying she kept seeing Dad and other people here. She had also

been

> cooking pots dry. We initially put these problems down to grief.

>

> The family was getting more and more concerned for her so I decided

> to take three months leave from my job and live with her for a

> while. This would allow me to sort out some support locally. This

> started at the beginning of this year. I am still here, having

> resigned my job. Haven't felt I could leave her.

>

> I took Mum to Auckland for Easter and, on returning noticed her

> symptoms had become markedly more pronounced, especially her

> hallucinations and her inability to complete sentences as a result

of

> forgetting words. She has also latterly complained of having a

sore

> knee and back. She also doesn't understand various simple concepts

> that she has had no problem with in the past.

>

> Mum is now at the stage where she is unable to cook, gets

> disorientated easily, has visions of people being here, sees specks

> in the carpet as live insects, is argumentative, changes her

clothes

> regularly, gets up and dressed in the middle of the night, and

seems

> to be tired and dozes for large periods during the day. Her

> Parkinson's symptoms don't seem to be as pronounced as they were.

>

> Mum takes 50mg of Quetiapine twice daily. This apparently is an

anti-

> psychotic. She also takes various other drugs, including

> Spironolactone, Doxepin, Isosorbate Mononitrate, Atenolol, Somac,

> Diltiazem and Cartia.

>

> I have been looking at various websites and the only care advice I

> could find was:

> 1/ Modify the environment by reducing clutter and increasing

> illumination,

> 2/ Validate Mum's concerns then using redirection techniques,

> 3/ Get Mum to adult day programmes.

>

> I have done 1 and 3 but am not sure how to use redirection

> techniques. I am also concerned as to what the future holds. At

> some stage i will have to return to Wellington and it seems the

> optins for Mum are limited, bar putting her into a rest home.

>

> Sorry if this is a rambling diatribe but I have noticed the care

and

> support members of this group give each other and the request to

hear

> about new member's situations.

>

>

[Guest guest]

--- Thank you Sandie, and excuse my typo!!! My name is just

I

live in a suburb of Chicago, IL and my dad lives in Chicago with my

mom. He has a neoro. at Loyola University, hopefully a good one???

But who knows. I am not the caregiver, but am very involved. I still

do have many questions. I read many of these messages and wonder a

lot. My dad has been " different " for about two years now. Nothing

to

major yet. However, as I stated in my first post several weeks ago,

he does fall often. He complains about his legs just giving out on

him and he sways back and forth unable to move forward properly. He

also cannot complete much of a sentence and acts childlike. I keep

waiting and wondering when the bomb will drop (so to speak) and

everything will worsen, as it seems to for so many others.

In LBDcaregivers , sanclown@w... wrote:

> In (?)

> Welcome to the group. You said your dad is 69 and recently

diagnosed

> with Lewy Body Disease. Are you his primary caregiver? Also, may

I

ask

> if you are in the U.S. and if so, what state? Does your dad have a

> neurologist he is seeing? I truly believe it makes a difference to

have

> a neurologist involved in the care of a loved one with LBD, and

> preferably one that is educated and knowledgeable with LBD.

> I will add you to my prayers. Please post anytime, about anything

or

> even just to babble.

> You are not alone in this journey.

> Hugs of strength!

> Sandie

> Des Moines, IA

[Guest guest]

Debi,

I, too, forget when I have welcomed a new member but you and your

husband have forged a place in my heart forever. At this early stage in your

joining this group, I have a special favor to ask. May I use a few quotes

from your post in a letter I am composing to send out? We so often think in

terms of " the elderly " when dementia's are discussed. I qualified for AARP

this year but still feel such a connection at heart with my young adult sons

and their extended relationships. Your situation has touched me dearly and I

hope others will relate to your mid-life interruption. I do so look forward

to reading your posts. Please stay in touch.

Love & Prayers,

Betty

[Guest guest]

,

As so many others have already done, I welcome you, gladly and sadly, to our

group. So much of your story echoes of events with my mother last year. You

have given such honor to your mum by taking time away from work. My mothers

worst symptoms of permanence began around the time of my vacation to Texas to

see my dad last September. Just a few weeks later, I had double foot surgery

and was fortunate to be off on disability until the beginning of March when I

gave up my management position to work part-time. I am now considering

giving that up also. This is not a disease where you can easily plan the

upcoming events of life with certainty. My mother, Marjory, lives with me

and did before the onset of LBD. She is 79. I just recently joined this

group in late February and already I have come to feel it is a great positive

in my life. I hope it is also, for you and your mum. You among the many

others will be with me today. Please stay in touch, you are important to us.

Love & Prayers

Betty

[Guest guest]

Wow Russ,

Are you keeping a running list? I'm sure Sandie and Shirley among others

have a few unique ones they'd love to share with you! LOL, LOL, LOL.....:-}

Betty

[Guest guest]

Betty and others

Thanks all of you for your welcome. I am overwhelmed by the care and love

in this group. I also feel as if the problems I have with my mother are

insignificant in comparison with the pain and heartache so many others are

going through with their LOs.

ps what does lol stand for?

----------

> From: elswittnbrg53@...

> To: LBDcaregivers

> Subject: Re: New Member

> Date: Friday, 2 May 2003 07:16

>

,

As so many others have already done, I welcome you, gladly and sadly, to

our

group. So much of your story echoes of events with my mother last year.

You

have given such honor to your mum by taking time away from work. My

mothers

worst symptoms of permanence began around the time of my vacation to Texas

to

see my dad last September. Just a few weeks later, I had double foot

surgery

and was fortunate to be off on disability until the beginning of March when

I

gave up my management position to work part-time. I am now considering

giving that up also. This is not a disease where you can easily plan the

upcoming events of life with certainty. My mother, Marjory, lives with me

and did before the onset of LBD. She is 79. I just recently joined this

group in late February and already I have come to feel it is a great

positive

in my life. I hope it is also, for you and your mum. You among the many

others will be with me today. Please stay in touch, you are important to

us.

Love & Prayers

Betty

[Guest guest]

LOL = laugh out loud

LO = Loved One

MIL = Mother-in-Law

SIL = Sister-in-Law

NH = Nursing Home

AL = Assisted Living

IL = Independent Living

AD = Alzheimer's disease

LBD = Lewy Body dementia

PD = Parkinson's disease

HD = Huntington's disease

EPS = Extra-pyramidal signs

CDR = Clinician's Dementia Rating scale

MMSE = (Folstein) Mini-Mental State Exam

Meds = Medications

Dx = Diagnosis

Hx = History

.... No others come to mind at present... -Russ

Re: New Member

> Date: Friday, 2 May 2003 07:16

>

,

As so many others have already done, I welcome you, gladly and sadly, to

our

group. So much of your story echoes of events with my mother last year.

You

have given such honor to your mum by taking time away from work. My

mothers

worst symptoms of permanence began around the time of my vacation to Texas

to

see my dad last September. Just a few weeks later, I had double foot

surgery

and was fortunate to be off on disability until the beginning of March

when

I

gave up my management position to work part-time. I am now considering

giving that up also. This is not a disease where you can easily plan the

upcoming events of life with certainty. My mother, Marjory, lives with me

and did before the onset of LBD. She is 79. I just recently joined this

group in late February and already I have come to feel it is a great

positive

in my life. I hope it is also, for you and your mum. You among the many

others will be with me today. Please stay in touch, you are important to

us.

Love & Prayers

Betty

[Guest guest]

BETTY,

THANKS FOR THINKING OF ME. LOL MOPF

> Wow Russ,

>

> Are you keeping a running list? I'm sure Sandie and Shirley among

others

> have a few unique ones they'd love to share with you! LOL, LOL,

LOL.....:-}

>

> Betty

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Welcome Di.

New Member

Hello all! It's great to be a part of this exciting group.

I live in Irvine, CA and love to be around people who are continually

looking to create more in their life and use their stress to grow.

I am always looking for more support and looking to support others

in living their dreams and having a fulfilling experience of life.

I'm an artist and a life coach. I love what I do and am continually

inspired to create more and be more of who I can be.

Thank you for allowing me to be a part of this group.

I look forward to getting to know you and sharing with you all.

Love,

Di

Di Cohen *Artist & Integrative Life Coach*

Support to fulfill your highest potential and Life a Life you Love!

www.dicohen.com

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Welcome to our group of wonderful people!! The group has been kinda quiet

for a few days - but there are times you can't get us to shut up...LOL My name

is , I'm one of the moderators and we're so glad to have you here.

There's a wealth of information in the archives so don't forget to check that

out

I hope you're having a great 4th!

Smiles,

In a message dated 7/4/04 8:23:47 AM Central Daylight Time,

sues.greenbank@... writes:

> Hi Everyone,

>

> This might be a good time for me to jump in and introduce myself as I have

> just joined the group. I have only recently been introduced to the writing

> of Louise L. Hay 'You can Heal Your Life' and being half way through the book

> and thoroughly feeling inspired by it I thought the next step would be to try

> and locate a group who was familiar with this kind of reading and who

> implement the teaching into their daily lives. At this present time in my

life I

> think I am flatlining, I don't have a direction so to speak and this gets me

> down a little as I know I want to move on but for some reason remain a little

> stagnant. Anyway, I thought sharing experiences and reading other people's

> experiences would serve to encourage, support and motivate me and hopefully I

> can do the same for others.

>

> I look forward to getting to know everyone :-)

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Thank you for the warm welcome, I look foward to participating in the group.

I'm actually from Scotland so 4th July is just another day here lol, however I

shall celebrate anyway, and happy 4th July to yourself and the other members.

[Guest guest]

Hi Blue...A big welcome to the group. You know as I was

reading your introduction I felt as though you were writing

about me in many parts. I am divorced from a 9 yr old after 18

yrs. I will be 46 in Oct, I have clinical depression and anxiety. I

have a dysfuctional family with whom I have broken off contact

(best move I ever made). I live in Canada, east Coast.

Where are you if I may ask.

" Situational depression though, as opposed to clinical

depression, can be addressed and improved. You can DO

things -- both mental and physical -- that can lift you up. "

I tend to vary my opinion of this statement you have made. I

believe you can change your beliefs, and choices to help

improve your feelings. May I also ask if you are on

medication?

I hope you enjoy being here as much as I have been, and that

you find some answers to what you seek.

Caring hugs

Live Long....Laugh Hard....Email Often

I'm thankful to have found this group and am hoping that I'll be

able to both give & receive help when needed.

It's a bit long, but I think the best, most complete introduction I

can give to you is in the answers I gave to our moderators'

questions yesterday...

Q -Tell us why positive thinking is important to you?

A - Well, the short answer is because I've been to the

" other side. " I have suffered from episodes of

depression & anxiety since the tender age of seven.

(I'll be 46 next week.)

However, I don't particularly like the term " positive

thinking " because it sounds unnatural. Either you are

content with your life or you're not. You can't

control your feelings. You can't " think " your way out

of depression.

Situational depression though, as opposed to clinical

depression, can be addressed and improved. You can DO

things -- both mental and physical -- that can lift you up.

Please answer the following:

Q - Are you currently under stress & needing tools for

handling the stress better?

A - Been married for 22 years. Past 10-12 have been more

like brother & sister, but I stayed with him until our

son graduated from HS (in 2002) so he would have what

I didn't have: a mom and dad at home. I have no

regrets about this.

My h started suffering from migraines about 10-12 yrs

ago. Don't know if you're familiar with " rebound

pain. " Pain med works for a short time (gets rid of

the pain) then turns around and starts CAUSING the

pain. Only a good doctor will see this and address it

with strictness & compassion. No such luck in our

situation. H has gone up the pain med ladder to the

point where he is now addicted to Methadone (synthetic

Heroin).

In addition we own a failing business (which he

refuses to sell) so money is never predictable (a big

personal issue with me) AND he is an only child in a

co-dependent relationship with mom & dad. They have

never let him fail and learn from his mistakes. They

ALWAYS bail him out, even tho I've begged them not to.

Basically, I'm married to a 9 year-old.

One and a half years ago, we separated - my request.

I have Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Have

had both for about 10 years. Obviously stress has

played a part.

I'm divorcing him and going back to college, as much

as my health will allow. I wanted work on finishing my

BA after our son started first grade, but h wouldn't

hear of it.

The home we (now our son & I) live in belongs to h's parents.

They

always told

my h it was his, but recently finished their sentence:

It IS his... after they're dead. This will greatly impact our

settlement.

Currently doing the divorce papers by myself (a nine

y/o can't handle something like that) and this is my

greatest source of stress.

Q - What type of group are you looking for, & what do

you expect to get out of this group?

A - Don't know! Hoping to make some friends and we can

share our probs and support each other.

Q - What resources, knowledge, or experience do you

feel that you can contribute back to this group?

A - I have a lifetime of experience in dealing with

mentally ill people (members of my family), my own

depression and anxiety disorders, divorce, victim of

verbal and emotional abuse, my best friend was killed

in a car accident at the age of 20, dysfunctional

husband and in-laws, step-families (both my parents

remarried), and because my family adores my child-like h they

are

giving me very little support. But I'm proud to say that I raised

a

wonderful

son basically all by myself!

I'm compassionate to a fault. Will often think of

others first and miss out on what others have to offer

me.

So that's the end of my " interview " ! :-)

As a bit of a post script.... I'm intuitive, sensitive and

precognitive.

I want to learn more about the nexus between our mind, body,

spirit, & the energy that flows between all of us and the world

we

live in.

I lean towards Buddhism but am open to all philosophies that

do

no harm and have the potential to bring contentment and

peace to

one's

life.

As well as being a part of this group, I would very much

welcome

email

friends who have experienced similar life situations. One on

one

friendships can be very valuable.

Looking forward to meeting you & joining you in the process of

eliminating negative stress from our lives.....

blue

[Guest guest]

Thank you Kay & for the kind welcome. :-)

Yes , it does sound like we have a lot in common! How long have you

been divorced? I have also broken off contact with most of my family due to

their negativity and bitterness. Amazingly I've become much closer to my Dad

these past few years and am very happy about that. We were estranged for a

long time.

I've been on Prozac for about 6 years. It has helped me tremendously.

I live in California by the way.

Regarding changing beliefs and choices to help one feel better -- yes I think

this is true. But so hard to do! Especially when one is under the cloud of

situational depression, or stressed-out. Those kinds of feelings can be

immobilizing. I can tell myself I should go out for a walk in order to feel

better

(and know that I WILL feel better) but gathering the motivation can be so

hard.

Actually, my h just left so I'm feeling a bit drained and am not thinking too

clearly so don't know if that made any sense! lol

We were working on divorce papers. Kay, we do have a lawyer and she's

wonderful. But what we're working on now is all the information she needs,

i.e. income & expenses. They are a mess (esp. because of the biz) and I

have to keep asking him questions to sort it all out. Will be such a relief when

it is over... I keep telling myself that!

blue

> Hi Blue...A big welcome to the group. You know as I was

> reading your introduction I felt as though you were writing

> about me in many parts. I am divorced from a 9 yr old after 18

> yrs. I will be 46 in Oct, I have clinical depression and anxiety. I

> have a dysfuctional family with whom I have broken off contact

> (best move I ever made). I live in Canada, east Coast.

> Where are you if I may ask.

>

> " Situational depression though, as opposed to clinical

> depression, can be addressed and improved. You can DO

> things -- both mental and physical -- that can lift you up. "

>

> I tend to vary my opinion of this statement you have made. I

> believe you can change your beliefs, and choices to help

> improve your feelings. May I also ask if you are on

> medication?

> I hope you enjoy being here as much as I have been, and that

> you find some answers to what you seek.

> Caring hugs

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Blue: I have been divorced for 5 yrs and a previous 2 yr

court battle with him. He had this funny notion that he wanted

me to get nothing. I said I was entitled to 50% of his pension

money, he said no so off to court we went. I fought only for

fairness, I wanted or asked for nothing else. I found a very

good lawyer who felt sorry for me and knew I didnt have any

money but he believed in fairness and he hated the ex for what

he was trying to get away with. Well 20 grand later, and so

many lies, the judge gave me 50% plus. I was awarded a 5 yr

spousal support. That now ends and I am now poor. That is

now my next challange. The 20 grand was put into a lean on

the house, and there are others...as at the end he went

bankrupt and left me with all the bills....I said I have so many

leans on the house that it actually leans more to one side..as I

look at it. Ya just got to see the humour in that because what

do you do when you have no money.

Now the real humour to all of this is when he went bankrupt he

didnt have any bills or a lawyer bill. If I had of went bankrupt I

would of lost all his pension money to creditors. I couldnt touch

the money but they could of taken it. NOW all that money was

taken by the govt in various years to pay income tax debts.

So I ended up losing it all anyway.

He ruined all the children, none of then graduated. I have 3. My

oldest is 21 and my twins are 18. I begged him to leave the

kids alone but he used them to live with them at various times

as he got money from my disability pension for having them

there. At 13 and 14 they lived with him bascilly alone and

brought up themselves. My oldest I had to use tough love and

make her go with him at 16 as she was violent with me.

The story of my children go on but its just to long. They dont

speak with me.

My outlaws havent spoken to me since the day their baby told

them he was leaving me. I didnt think that was fair but what is.

Im glad you are on meds that work for you in helping with the

clinical depression.

I do so understand very well what you are saying about

gathering motivation when you are under the cloud of

depression and stress. It does take work and persistence and

then sometimes nothing works and I just dont care.

But I just keep working on myself.

You have had the strength to get to the point where you are

now, and even though this challange will be what it is you will

have the strength to get though this also.

I know the relief you will feel when its all over. Please try to take

care of yourself as well as you can, I didnt and it was so hard

on me. You are important.

Caring hugs

Thank you Kay & for the kind welcome. :-)

Yes , it does sound like we have a lot in common! How

long have you

been divorced? I have also broken off contact with most of my

family due to

their negativity and bitterness. Amazingly I've become much

closer to my Dad

these past few years and am very happy about that. We were

estranged for a

long time.

I've been on Prozac for about 6 years. It has helped me

tremendously.

I live in California by the way.

Regarding changing beliefs and choices to help one feel

better -- yes I think

this is true. But so hard to do! Especially when one is under

the cloud of

situational depression, or stressed-out. Those kinds of

feelings can be

immobilizing. I can tell myself I should go out for a walk in order

to feel better

(and know that I WILL feel better) but gathering the motivation

can be so

hard.

Actually, my h just left so I'm feeling a bit drained and am not

thinking too

clearly so don't know if that made any sense! lol

We were working on divorce papers. Kay, we do have a

lawyer and she's

wonderful. But what we're working on now is all the information

she needs,

i.e. income & expenses. They are a mess (esp. because of

the biz) and I

have to keep asking him questions to sort it all out. Will be

such a relief when

it is over... I keep telling myself that!

blue

> Hi Blue...A big welcome to the group. You know as I was

> reading your introduction I felt as though you were writing

> about me in many parts. I am divorced from a 9 yr old after

18

> yrs. I will be 46 in Oct, I have clinical depression and anxiety.

I

> have a dysfuctional family with whom I have broken off

contact

> (best move I ever made). I live in Canada, east Coast.

> Where are you if I may ask.

>

> " Situational depression though, as opposed to clinical

> depression, can be addressed and improved. You can DO

> things -- both mental and physical -- that can lift you up. "

>

> I tend to vary my opinion of this statement you have made. I

> believe you can change your beliefs, and choices to help

> improve your feelings. May I also ask if you are on

> medication?

> I hope you enjoy being here as much as I have been, and

that

> you find some answers to what you seek.

> Caring hugs

>

>