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--- rin wrote:

> Hi

>

> I am new to this mailing list, but I am not new to pain, other mailing lists.

> Just wanted to say hi HI! and introduce myself to you all.

> My name in Corrine, but I go by rin on the computer and much rather be

> called that.

> I have been a single parent since 1985 and all my kids are pretty much

> grown and out on

> there own for now, so I guess I should just say I am plain single.

> Living with at the moment I have a 10 month old sheltie named Taz, who is

> going to school to

> be a helper dog and a kitty named MyaKitty who is a Persian not doing much

> besides meowing.

> I also a have constant companion which is PAIN, that I have been trying to

> evict for a long time.

> I work as a laboratory tech and x-ray tech in a small hospital here in

> southern Minnesnowta.

> I am only working part time at the present and I will get into that why in

> a little bit.

> It all started back in about 88 when I started having trouble with my knees

> a few arthroscopies

> and surgeries later, new ones are on order.

> Then in 96 while bending slightly to draw blood from a patient while on his

> way to surgery, my back

> snapped and down to the floor a went. Unable to get back up to a standing

> position I just got myself

> out of the way.

> After a few minutes and being able to get back to my feet in constant pain,

> I pretty much thought to myself,

> nice pulled muscle there.

> My supervisor advised me to fill out the standard forms and go home.

> It was to be a holiday weekend so I figured in 4 days I will be as good as

new.

> In waking up the next morning after a night of little sleep, I found myself

> unable to move anything below

> my belly button without causing EXTREME pain and noticed that both my feet

> would not point upwards.

> Screaming to my boys for help, they somehow got me up and into the car for

> the ride to the ER.

> For the next 5 days I cant remember to much, they had me so totally zonked

> out on meds.

> In the months to follow with agonizing pain and frequent trips to the ER

> and hospital stay being zonked were

> spent fighting with the workman's comp insurance company to get me the

> surgery that I so much needed according to

> every doctor that they sent me to in a 200 mile radius. They wanted to

> find one doctor that said I didn't need surgery

> so therefore they wouldn't have to pay. They found one doctor that thought

> if they put me in a body cast for 6 months, maybe things

> would heal. WRONG!!!!! Finally after close to a year they gave in and

> elected for me to have the surgery.

> The surgery consisted of a back fusion of L3 thu S1 using both bone and

> screws and rods. A surgery that took well

> over 8 hours because things had become such a mess with the insurance

> company messing around so long. After the

> surgery and 8 months the surgeon was not pleased at all with the stability

> of my spine and decided that he needed to go through

> the front and use more bone for stabilization that way. My thought was

> " here we go again " , but much to my surprise the insurance

> gave no hesitation on this, because after the last surgery my doctor wrote

> the insurance company that he was going to help me

> sue the heck out of them for what they had done to me. I had no clue that

> he had even done this. All I know is he had called up his

> personal lawyer and had a lawyer come and talk to me.

> So, the second surgery was performed and for some reason I developed a

> reaction to the sutures that they used and was left for a

> year with surgery after surgery and hospital to get the incision

> healed. Basically it had to heal from the inside out.

> After a year of this I was turned over to a rehabilitation/pain clinic for

> a start on a new life with a few restrictions.

> I ended having to have plastic braces for my legs and sticks on my

> arms. BUT, the pain remained.

> Trying for years to get the right combination of meds and hard work, I

> started back to work in 98 only part-time, but that was

> enough, it gave me a meaning once again.

> Over the next few years I was given a few other diagnoses to add to my

> list, like fibro, DJD, DDD, and Fuchs disease which is

> an eye condition where eventually I will go blind and require a

> transplant. Sounds like fun.

> In 99 while doing an x-ray a patient decided that he didn't want to stand

> up to the bucky any longer and started to sit down with

> nothing behind him to sit on but the floor. I had caught the patient and

> told him to go ahead and sit now with me helping him down

> then he starts to try and stand again. I am screaming like crazy for

> someone to come and help me, and once someone came we were

> both on the floor with him on top of me. Least he was kinda cute. :)

> So here we go again with the mylograms, discogram (oh how I hate them), and

> MRI's. Bulging disks on 2 levels above the fusion, but

> this time I was the one to say NO more surgeries. So a few days in the

> hospital zonked out of my mind and med titrations, weeks

> off of work and I was back to work to try it again.

> So here we are in 2001, things were going along pretty nicely, got my

> oldest son married to a very lovely girl was back to work

> full time (full of meds), but doing okay.

> For years my sleeping habits had been very terrible, but I basically

> contributed it to the pain and my back. It was getting so bad

> that I was starting to fall asleep at work, standing, in the middle of a

> sentence, driving, wherever. My boss new that I was

> having trouble and realized it was not really my fault, and I was also

> having alot of heart arrhythmia, so I decided to tak a

> medical leave and get this straightened out.

> First appointment was to see a cardiologist, in which he knew exactly with

> out hesitation what I needed which was a form of

> heart surgery called an ablation. It is where they stick all these cameras

> and tubes and stuff up and down all your major arteries

> leading to the hear, get into the heart and burn the areas of the heart

> which are causing the irregular heart beats and all the other

> stuff that was going on. It was like having congestive heart failure with

> beats sometimes at 230 beats a minute, then the have to

> stop the heart and restart it again. If that dont give you a weird feeling.

> Once this procedure was completed it was off to the sleep lab for a

> complete study was done. It took them 1/2 hour of sleep

> to diagnose me with both central sleep apnea and obstructive sleep

> apnea. So the next morning I gained a new sleeping partner.

> Like Taz and MyaKitty isn't enough.

> So this is where I am today, still fighting to get the machine to work

> properly for me so I can sleep all night without the stoppage of

> breathing and getting the cardiac fatigue back in order, so I can yet again

> try and get back on with me life.

>

> You are very lucky that you just got the short form and not the whole book.

> Sorry that it was so long, but once I get started it is hard to stop and

> where do you stop.

>

> It will be nice to get to know all of you and be able to maybe help some of

> you out with some of the medical stuff that I have

> experience in. Never ever be afraid to ask.

>

> Thanks to you all

>

> rin

>

>

> Know someone who could profit from our list? Send our direct sign-up URL:

> http://www.yahoogroups.com/subscribe.cgi/chronic_pain or write us at:

> chronic_pain-listowner

> Manage your subscription with several special email addresses:

> chronic_pain-owner - Sends email to the list owners

> chronic_pain-subscribe - Subscribe to the list through email

> chronic_pain-unsubscribe - Unsubscribe from the list

> chronic_pain-normal - Switch your subscription to normal

> chronic_pain-digest@... - Switch your subscription to digest

>

>

>

>

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Guest guest

Hi Rin,

Welcome to the group, I am fairly new here myself...I am , 53 years old and

married for 30 years now. I have a daughter that is 28 and also two furry

kids. I live in Sacramento CA with my hubby and the two furry kids. My

daughter lives in California but on the central coast.. I am originally from

Yorkshire, England...are there any more limeys here?

I am happy to say that I am a breast cancer surviver of 10 years, I now have

Sensory Polyneuropathy, Hypothyroid, high blood pressure, Mitral Valve prolapse,

GERD and Osteo arthritis. I take a few different meds and most days I feel semi

okay but very tired...then I get a few really bad days where I feel like staying

in bed...Most of the meds I take have side effects of fatigue and also weight

gain. I wonder why that is..... :o)

Re: New Member

--- rin wrote:

> Hi

>

> I am new to this mailing list, but I am not new to pain, other mailing

lists.

> Just wanted to say hi HI! and introduce myself to you all.

> My name in Corrine, but I go by rin on the computer and much rather be

> called that.

> I have been a single parent since 1985 and all my kids are pretty much

> grown and out on

> there own for now, so I guess I should just say I am plain single.

> Living with at the moment I have a 10 month old sheltie named Taz, who is

> going to school to

> be a helper dog and a kitty named MyaKitty who is a Persian not doing much

> besides meowing.

> I also a have constant companion which is PAIN, that I have been trying to

> evict for a long time.

> I work as a laboratory tech and x-ray tech in a small hospital here in

> southern Minnesnowta.

> I am only working part time at the present and I will get into that why in

> a little bit.

> It all started back in about 88 when I started having trouble with my knees

> a few arthroscopies

> and surgeries later, new ones are on order.

> Then in 96 while bending slightly to draw blood from a patient while on his

> way to surgery, my back

> snapped and down to the floor a went. Unable to get back up to a standing

> position I just got myself

> out of the way.

> After a few minutes and being able to get back to my feet in constant pain,

> I pretty much thought to myself,

> nice pulled muscle there.

> My supervisor advised me to fill out the standard forms and go home.

> It was to be a holiday weekend so I figured in 4 days I will be as good as

new.

> In waking up the next morning after a night of little sleep, I found myself

> unable to move anything below

> my belly button without causing EXTREME pain and noticed that both my feet

> would not point upwards.

> Screaming to my boys for help, they somehow got me up and into the car for

> the ride to the ER.

> For the next 5 days I cant remember to much, they had me so totally zonked

> out on meds.

> In the months to follow with agonizing pain and frequent trips to the ER

> and hospital stay being zonked were

> spent fighting with the workman's comp insurance company to get me the

> surgery that I so much needed according to

> every doctor that they sent me to in a 200 mile radius. They wanted to

> find one doctor that said I didn't need surgery

> so therefore they wouldn't have to pay. They found one doctor that thought

> if they put me in a body cast for 6 months, maybe things

> would heal. WRONG!!!!! Finally after close to a year they gave in and

> elected for me to have the surgery.

> The surgery consisted of a back fusion of L3 thu S1 using both bone and

> screws and rods. A surgery that took well

> over 8 hours because things had become such a mess with the insurance

> company messing around so long. After the

> surgery and 8 months the surgeon was not pleased at all with the stability

> of my spine and decided that he needed to go through

> the front and use more bone for stabilization that way. My thought was

> " here we go again " , but much to my surprise the insurance

> gave no hesitation on this, because after the last surgery my doctor wrote

> the insurance company that he was going to help me

> sue the heck out of them for what they had done to me. I had no clue that

> he had even done this. All I know is he had called up his

> personal lawyer and had a lawyer come and talk to me.

> So, the second surgery was performed and for some reason I developed a

> reaction to the sutures that they used and was left for a

> year with surgery after surgery and hospital to get the incision

> healed. Basically it had to heal from the inside out.

> After a year of this I was turned over to a rehabilitation/pain clinic for

> a start on a new life with a few restrictions.

> I ended having to have plastic braces for my legs and sticks on my

> arms. BUT, the pain remained.

> Trying for years to get the right combination of meds and hard work, I

> started back to work in 98 only part-time, but that was

> enough, it gave me a meaning once again.

> Over the next few years I was given a few other diagnoses to add to my

> list, like fibro, DJD, DDD, and Fuchs disease which is

> an eye condition where eventually I will go blind and require a

> transplant. Sounds like fun.

> In 99 while doing an x-ray a patient decided that he didn't want to stand

> up to the bucky any longer and started to sit down with

> nothing behind him to sit on but the floor. I had caught the patient and

> told him to go ahead and sit now with me helping him down

> then he starts to try and stand again. I am screaming like crazy for

> someone to come and help me, and once someone came we were

> both on the floor with him on top of me. Least he was kinda cute. :)

> So here we go again with the mylograms, discogram (oh how I hate them), and

> MRI's. Bulging disks on 2 levels above the fusion, but

> this time I was the one to say NO more surgeries. So a few days in the

> hospital zonked out of my mind and med titrations, weeks

> off of work and I was back to work to try it again.

> So here we are in 2001, things were going along pretty nicely, got my

> oldest son married to a very lovely girl was back to work

> full time (full of meds), but doing okay.

> For years my sleeping habits had been very terrible, but I basically

> contributed it to the pain and my back. It was getting so bad

> that I was starting to fall asleep at work, standing, in the middle of a

> sentence, driving, wherever. My boss new that I was

> having trouble and realized it was not really my fault, and I was also

> having alot of heart arrhythmia, so I decided to tak a

> medical leave and get this straightened out.

> First appointment was to see a cardiologist, in which he knew exactly with

> out hesitation what I needed which was a form of

> heart surgery called an ablation. It is where they stick all these cameras

> and tubes and stuff up and down all your major arteries

> leading to the hear, get into the heart and burn the areas of the heart

> which are causing the irregular heart beats and all the other

> stuff that was going on. It was like having congestive heart failure with

> beats sometimes at 230 beats a minute, then the have to

> stop the heart and restart it again. If that dont give you a weird feeling.

> Once this procedure was completed it was off to the sleep lab for a

> complete study was done. It took them 1/2 hour of sleep

> to diagnose me with both central sleep apnea and obstructive sleep

> apnea. So the next morning I gained a new sleeping partner.

> Like Taz and MyaKitty isn't enough.

> So this is where I am today, still fighting to get the machine to work

> properly for me so I can sleep all night without the stoppage of

> breathing and getting the cardiac fatigue back in order, so I can yet again

> try and get back on with me life.

>

> You are very lucky that you just got the short form and not the whole book.

> Sorry that it was so long, but once I get started it is hard to stop and

> where do you stop.

>

> It will be nice to get to know all of you and be able to maybe help some of

> you out with some of the medical stuff that I have

> experience in. Never ever be afraid to ask.

>

> Thanks to you all

>

> rin

>

>

> Know someone who could profit from our list? Send our direct sign-up URL:

> http://www.yahoogroups.com/subscribe.cgi/chronic_pain or write us at:

> chronic_pain-listowner

> Manage your subscription with several special email addresses:

> chronic_pain-owner - Sends email to the list owners

> chronic_pain-subscribe - Subscribe to the list through email

> chronic_pain-unsubscribe - Unsubscribe from the list

> chronic_pain-normal - Switch your subscription to normal

> chronic_pain-digest@... - Switch your subscription to digest

>

>

>

>

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  • 2 months later...

Greetings: Welcome, if it is support you desire this is the place. I am not

aware of the tests you describe. I have not personally applied for Disability

as I haven't worked to such an extent that I qualify for it and you see my

work was my own Bridal Consulting Business(I loved it but it was too

exhausting and stressful for someone who was having trouble doing houework) I

do however know several people who have gone through this. What I understand

is that they will make it as hard for you as possible, many people give up

the good fight because it ies as if they are on trial. They also maek you go

to several Doctors of their choice and it drags on. I don't know how it is

in your Country but here they will give you some benefits until you can get a

decision.

I hope that someone can tell you about the tests and what they entail. Good

Luck in any event...

Alice

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Hi Jo Ellen,

I regularly get a series of epidural injections in my lower back and SI

joint. If the injections your doctor wanted to do are similar, you might

want to reconsider them. The epidurals are done in series of 3, spaced 6-8

weeks apart. The first injection usually does very little or nothing at

all; the second generally provides some relief lasting 3-5 weeks and the

third time is a charm. The injection is a combination of a steroid and an

anesthetic and needs time to build up and work in your system.

Glad you joined us and I hope you find some answers here.

, 45, degenerative disk disease, spondylitis, OA, FMS, neuropathy,

etc., etc.

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  • 3 months later...

Hi Marita,

Welcome. My name is annie. You are at the right

place. Most of the people here have chronic pain. Some

worse than others but no matter what the problem

people in this club are very helpful and will try to

answer your questions. Annie

--- rittimcd2001 wrote:

> Hi,

>

> I'm new to this list, so here's my little

> introduction:

>

> My name is Marita, we live in a tiny town in western

> Montana, in the

> middle of the beautiful Rocky Mountains.

> I'm not even sure if we belong here, to be honest, I

> was searching

> Yahoo-Groups for a couple of hours last night,

> couldn't find any

> groups

> specifically for the problem my husband has. Mark

> has had really bad

> pains in his wrists, elbows and shoulders, mostly in

> his wrists,

> though.

> The doctors started out thinking he had carpal

> tunnel syndrome, but

> after

> several tests decided it was something called

> congenital midcarpal

> instability. He's been taking pain meds for quite

> some time, nothing

> seems

> to work for the pain, though. Since his pain is so

> bad he decided to

> go

> ahead and have this surgery called intercarpal

> fusion. It's a partial

> fusion

> of the wrist. They will do his left hand first and

> if that is

> successful,

> he'll have the right hand done, also.

> I guess I'm trying to find someone that has the same

> problem, someone

> that

> had this surgery maybe and ask about how it went for

> them.

> Mark applied for social security disability, got

> turned down twice,

> now

> we'll have to consult a lawyer. He's a body man,

> that's what he's

> done most

> of his life, he now owns a little body shop right

> here by the house

> and he

> can't do any work because his pain is so bad and he

> drops his tools

> all the

> time, it's horrible to see him like this. He's been

> a hard worker all

> of his

> life and now this. I wish I could help him, I just

> don't know what to

> do, I

> feel so helpless...:-(

> Well, that's all for now, will wait and see if this

> is the right

> group for

> us or not.

>

> Marita

>

>

>

__________________________________________________

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> Welcome. My name is annie. You are at the right

> place. Most of the people here have chronic pain. Some

> worse than others but no matter what the problem

> people in this club are very helpful and will try to

> answer your questions. Annie

----------------------

Thank you, Annie, it's nice to know there are people out there that actually

do care...:-)

Marita

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--- Mark & Marita wrote: > >

Welcome. My name is annie. You are at the right

> > place. Most of the people here have chronic pain.

> Some

> > worse than others but no matter what the problem

> > people in this club are very helpful and will try

> to

> > answer your questions. Annie

> ----------------------

> Thank you, Annie, it's nice to know there are people

> out there that actually

> do care...:-)

>

> Marita

> ANNIE ITS GREAT TO FIND A SUPPORT GROUP WHERE

EVERYONE IS IN THE SAME BOAT AND THAT PEOPLE HERE

REALY UNDERSTAND WHAT CHRONIC PAIN IS WOULD LOVE TO

CHAT SOON WILLY

>

http://greetings.yahoo.com.au - Yahoo! Greetings

- Send your festive greetings online!

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Hi Mark and Marita,

You will enjoy this club. Alot of people come on

with grear info and support. Have a great holiday.

Annie

--- Mark & Marita wrote:

> > Welcome. My name is annie. You are at the right

> > place. Most of the people here have chronic pain.

> Some

> > worse than others but no matter what the problem

> > people in this club are very helpful and will try

> to

> > answer your questions. Annie

> ----------------------

> Thank you, Annie, it's nice to know there are people

> out there that actually

> do care...:-)

>

> Marita

>

>

__________________________________________________

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  • 4 weeks later...

--- rittimcd2001 wrote:

> Hi,

>

> I'm new to this list, so here's my little

> introduction:

>

> My name is Marita, we live in a tiny town in western

> Montana, in the

> middle of the beautiful Rocky Mountains.

> I'm not even sure if we belong here, to be honest, I

> was searching

> Yahoo-Groups for a couple of hours last night,

> couldn't find any

> groups

> specifically for the problem my husband has. Mark

> has had really bad

> pains in his wrists, elbows and shoulders, mostly in

> his wrists,

> though.

> The doctors started out thinking he had carpal

> tunnel syndrome, but

> after

> several tests decided it was something called

> congenital midcarpal

> instability. He's been taking pain meds for quite

> some time, nothing

> seems

> to work for the pain, though. Since his pain is so

> bad he decided to

> go

> ahead and have this surgery called intercarpal

> fusion. It's a partial

> fusion

> of the wrist. They will do his left hand first and

> if that is

> successful,

> he'll have the right hand done, also.

> I guess I'm trying to find someone that has the same

> problem, someone

> that

> had this surgery maybe and ask about how it went for

> them.

> Mark applied for social security disability, got

> turned down twice,

> now

> we'll have to consult a lawyer. He's a body man,

> that's what he's

> done most

> of his life, he now owns a little body shop right

> here by the house

> and he

> can't do any work because his pain is so bad and he

> drops his tools

> all the

> time, it's horrible to see him like this. He's been

> a hard worker all

> of his

> life and now this. I wish I could help him, I just

> don't know what to

> do, I

> feel so helpless...:-(

> Well, that's all for now, will wait and see if this

> is the right

> group for

> us or not.

> Dear Martha,

I'm sorry I've have'nt read my e-mail latly. I do not

suffer from congential curpal tunnel syndrom, I do

suffer from chronic pain from gulf war syndrome. I do

sympathize for you. When it is nerve, I don't think

ther is much narcotic pain medicaton can do. If your

husband has'nt had the surguries yet, you may talk to

your doctor or a nourologist about nerve blocks. I

don't know the risks or down side to this prcedure,

but it might be better than your husband losing the

ablity to move his hand and wrist freely. I've also

heard that acruepucture is pretty effective for pain

releive! That is what I'm going to try next.

If your doctor hasn't fully explained what is

congitial tunnel syndrome , you get him too! That way

you have better search pereimeters, and, of course,

you know what he and you are dealing with. I beleive

carpal tunnel syndrome is a swelling of legiment and

tendons in the carpal tunnel area in the wrist which

this swelling causes pressure on the nerve that run

directly thru there that is what causes the pain.

Well I have to go.I hope everthing work out well for

you.

Sincerely

Sherry Strickland

> Marita

>

>

>

__________________________________________________

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> If your

> husband has'nt had the surguries yet, you may talk to

> your doctor or a nourologist about nerve blocks.

Thanks for your input, but hubby had the surgery 3 1/2 weeks ago, it was

pretty bad. Much more complicated than what was explained to us. It took 2

full weeks before he was half way normal again, he was in so much pain, it

was just terrible.

He now has a removable splint and can start moving his fingers, can't start

moving his wrist for another month or so.

> If your doctor hasn't fully explained what is

> congitial tunnel syndrome , you get him too!

Actually, his condition is called " congenital midcarpal instability " , it has

nothing to do with carpal tunnel syndrome, that was just what the doctors

initially thought he had. Sure hope the surgery was successfull, won't know

for another 6 months or so.

Marita

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Hi, Marita. There are two things I know of that usually work well to resolve

wrist problems.

1. The program for 'Elbows, wrists, and hands " in Chapter 10 of " Pain Free: A

Revolutionary Method for Stopping Chronic Pain " by Pete Egoscue.

2. Low reactive-level laser therapy, described at these two web pages. It has

been shown to alleviate various types of pains, especially wrist and other joint

pains.

http://www.lowlevellasers.com/whatis.html

http://www.oneflesh.org/only-7.html

Best,

Loren Sherman

Los Angeles

--- rittimcd2001 wrote:

> Hi,

>

> I'm new to this list, so here's my little

> introduction:

>

> My name is Marita, we live in a tiny town in western

> Montana, in the

> middle of the beautiful Rocky Mountains.

> I'm not even sure if we belong here, to be honest, I

> was searching

> Yahoo-Groups for a couple of hours last night,

> couldn't find any

> groups

> specifically for the problem my husband has. Mark

> has had really bad

> pains in his wrists, elbows and shoulders, mostly in

> his wrists,

> though.

> The doctors started out thinking he had carpal

> tunnel syndrome, but

> after

> several tests decided it was something called

> congenital midcarpal

> instability. He's been taking pain meds for quite

> some time, nothing

> seems

> to work for the pain, though. Since his pain is so

> bad he decided to

> go

> ahead and have this surgery called intercarpal

> fusion. It's a partial

> fusion

> of the wrist. They will do his left hand first and

> if that is

> successful,

> he'll have the right hand done, also.

> I guess I'm trying to find someone that has the same

> problem, someone

> that

> had this surgery maybe and ask about how it went for

> them.

> Mark applied for social security disability, got

> turned down twice,

> now

> we'll have to consult a lawyer. He's a body man,

> that's what he's

> done most

> of his life, he now owns a little body shop right

> here by the house

> and he

> can't do any work because his pain is so bad and he

> drops his tools

> all the

> time, it's horrible to see him like this. He's been

> a hard worker all

> of his

> life and now this. I wish I could help him, I just

> don't know what to

> do, I

> feel so helpless...:-(

> Well, that's all for now, will wait and see if this

> is the right

> group for

> us or not.

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  • 3 weeks later...

hello lisa just wanted to say hello i just joined the group less than a week

ago and already has made me feel not so alone i understand about the not being

able to work and take care of family. I struggle with that also and it is so

hard sometimes good luck and look forward to hearing from you and everyone else.

have a good day april

Salas wrote:

Hello,

My name is . I am a new member here. I look forward to getting to know

everyone in the group. I have been a chronic pain patient for the last five

years. My diagnisis is DDD and the complications that come with that such as:

cervical bulging discs, bone spppurs, impingments, stenosis, arthritis.

Additionally, I have TMD and chronic headaches. I think that the worst is the

headaches, they are so debilitatating, I am basically bedridden and they usually

last between 3-10 days. I am at the point where my pain is controlling my life

instead of me controling it. I am unable to work, raise my family in the right

way and the inabbility to do everyday tasks I am praying that I find a doctor

that is willing to treat my pain adequatley so that I can have my life bask. I

am so sorry about the long post and complaining. It helps extensivley to be able

to put into words whaat I am going through, knowing tht there are people that

are going through the same things that I am. Once again, I am really looking

forward to getting to know the members of the group.

---------------------------------

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April,

Thak you so much for the welcome. I look forward to getting to know everyone ion

the group. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

april garrett wrote:

hello lisa just wanted to say hello i just joined the group less than a week ago

and already has made me feel not so alone i understand about the not being able

to work and take care of family. I struggle with that also and it is so hard

sometimes good luck and look forward to hearing from you and everyone else. have

a good day april

Salas wrote:

Hello,

My name is . I am a new member here. I look forward to getting to know

everyone in the group. I have been a chronic pain patient for the last five

years. My diagnisis is DDD and the complications that come with that such as:

cervical bulging discs, bone spppurs, impingments, stenosis, arthritis.

Additionally, I have TMD and chronic headaches. I think that the worst is the

headaches, they are so debilitatating, I am basically bedridden and they usually

last between 3-10 days. I am at the point where my pain is controlling my life

instead of me controling it. I am unable to work, raise my family in the right

way and the inabbility to do everyday tasks I am praying that I find a doctor

that is willing to treat my pain adequatley so that I can have my life bask. I

am so sorry about the long post and complaining. It helps extensivley to be able

to put into words whaat I am going through, knowing tht there are people that

are going through the same things that I am. Once again, I am really looking

forward to getting to know the members of the group.

---------------------------------

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Note² This came to me, but was intended for the list. I¹m reposting it here.

Robbie

------ Forwarded Message

Date: Thu, 31 Jan 2002 01:33:55 -0000

To: chronic_pain-owner

Subject: Re: New Member

--- I wanted to say that there is no need to apologize for

complaining! Not that I think telling about what you are dealing with

is complaining anyway! Welcome-Darcy I am still figuring out myself

how yahoo and this group postings end up working-sometimes I find it

so slow!

In chronic_pain@y..., Salas <a_salas63@y...> wrote:

>

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  • 2 months later...
Guest guest

You have very normal reactions to a very abnormal situation. I was in a

relationship for 2 years with a BP and it was totally tormenting. I went

from being a stable, calm, rational being to being confused, frustrated and

very angry much of the time. My self-esteem hit bottom and I literaly had

lost total touch with who I was and what I wanted out of my life. My

therapist told me at this time that if I stayed with this man that within

five years I would have NOTHING. Meaning, materially, emotionally,

spiritually and mentally. With this knowledge, I mustered up every bit of

courage and strength that I had left and left him. It was very hard. I

still loved him but I knew that it was him or me. In the end, my survival

and the creating of a good life for myself meant more to me than him. Thank

God. Keep reading and posting, this is an excellent support site.

Carol

----Original Message Follows----

Reply-To: ModOasis

To: ModOasis

Subject: New Member

Date: Wed, 03 Apr 2002 19:27:09 -0000

Hi. I have a bit of a different take on this group's topic.

For the last six years I have been in a relationship with

someone who seems to have the BPD in spades, and, their

child too.

The thing about flip-flops in perception of reality, that's

it for sure. I was a very balanced person myself six years ago.

Now, due to BPD, and a few other wonderful disorders on the part

of gf and daughter, I think I truly have PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress

Disorder). I had a decent-paying job, a car, and decent clothes too.

My health, too. And my home. Now I have none of those.

I really feel badly for those of you who have had parent(s) like this,

I couldn't stand it I don't think.

It has basically cost me everything.

I have stopped trying to reason with them. You can't reason with

people like that.

One minute I have an excellent memory according to them, and the next

I have a poor memory. One minute I am the best mate in the world, and

the next I'm a monster. It's really bad when two of them tag-team

one. Is violence a common feature of BDP, or do I just have a few

special individuals to deal with?

_________________________________________________________________

Join the world’s largest e-mail service with MSN Hotmail.

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Guest guest

Hi ,

I'm a KO and an ex-wife of a man who likewise thought

I made perfect sense one day only to find that what I

said yesterday was never said...

Yeah, if you don't leave, you will end with nothing.

Yup, that was me. Being a KO, there wasn't much of me

to begin with - being in my marriage for 18 years,

what was there was completely gone. I was a shell of a

person.

I woke up one day in my fortieth year and said, " I've

lived half my life. Is this what I want and how I want

to live the rest of my life? " The answer was no.

It was really hard to leave. It was devasting and very

scary. I'd never been on my own in my entire life. A

few months after leaving the ex, I likewise divorced

nada (BP mother.) A few months after her, I likewise

divorced my last sibling.

In losing them, I have begun to find myself. I like

it...:0)

As for violence. Nada was violent. My ex was violent

in the beginning of our marriage. I drew the line

there though and that's the only line he dared not

cross. He came very close many times, but kept himself

under control where that was concerned. He used break

things in the home instead, as if that were better.

His father used to beat him and his mother and he

swore he'd never beat me. Physically at least...

PTSD? Yup. I had many years of walking on eggshells.

Many triggers in the beginning. It does get better

though.

Life is good now.

Peace,

Cyndie

--- protorian13 wrote:

> Hi. I have a bit of a different take on this group's

> topic.

> For the last six years I have been in a relationship

> with

> someone who seems to have the BPD in spades, and,

> their

> child too.

> The thing about flip-flops in perception of reality,

> that's

> it for sure. I was a very balanced person myself six

> years ago.

> Now, due to BPD, and a few other wonderful disorders

> on the part

> of gf and daughter, I think I truly have PTSD

> (Post-Traumatic Stress

> Disorder). I had a decent-paying job, a car, and

> decent clothes too.

> My health, too. And my home. Now I have none of

> those.

> I really feel badly for those of you who have had

> parent(s) like this,

> I couldn't stand it I don't think.

> It has basically cost me everything.

> I have stopped trying to reason with them. You can't

> reason with

> people like that.

> One minute I have an excellent memory according to

> them, and the next

> I have a poor memory. One minute I am the best mate

> in the world, and

> the next I'm a monster. It's really bad when two of

> them tag-team

> one. Is violence a common feature of BDP, or do I

> just have a few

> special individuals to deal with?

>

>

>

>

>

>

__________________________________________________

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Guest guest

>

It's really bad when two of them tag-team

> one. Is violence a common feature of BDP, or do I just have a few

> special individuals to deal with?

>

Hi ,

Welcome to Oz. My nada was very violent growing up. When I was 12

she poured kerosene all over my brothers' bedroom, locked us in, and

started throwing matches under the door. We escaped through a window.

She was institutionalized for about a year that time. When I was 14 I

tried to run away. I came back home because I felt guilty about

leaving my younger brothers. When I got back my nada beat me with the

buckle end of a belt till I had welts from head to toe. I was lucky

in that shortly after this my father got custody of me and then of my

brothers. I think if I had had to stay in that environment, I would

have killed her or she would have killed me, one or the other. I

can't imagine having to deal with two violent BPD's at one time. It's

not going to stop. It's behavior they use to manipulate you. You

have to decide if it's worth it to keep losing pieces of yourself, or

if it's better to get out and start rebuilding.

Peace to you,

Anni

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Guest guest

Hi, ,

I can't agree with the others more...run for your life! People with

BPD are not to be reasoned with. Please read the books Ilene

recommended and start setting some boundaries. If you didn't grow up

with a parent with BPD, you probably have a good foundation to start

with, you've just lost your way. The BP's we love have an uncanny

way of manipulating our perceptions until we don't know which way is

up. You'll find in reading these books that it's not your job

to " fix " them, you can only take care of yourself and the same goes

for them. I think top priority is your physical safety. From what I

understand, men feel pain just like us women (lol). Don't just be

macho and take it. I'm sorry for all you've lost, but don't lose

yourself, too. Hope this helps.

Joy

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Guest guest

-

Just to echo what everyone else has said - get out!

For most BPs, it never gets better, you cannot fix it, and they

really will sap all of your energy while you try to fix their

unsolvable problems. They will sap your finances, too, as I gather

you have seen. In my experience, they don't appreciate what you try

to do anyway. It is always all about them.

More importantly, you would never, never want to subject any of your

children to this. The catch is that they often seem like children.

You, the caretaker, instinctively want to protect them. You have to

realize that perfectly normal and human urge does not work in these

circumstances.

It takes awhile to recover from this, so give yourself time. This

board made me realize you have to take care of yourself before you

can take care of others. It's okay to take care of yourself.

Hebrides

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  • 8 months later...

Welcome aboard neighbor. This is a true blessing seeing your name in

here!! I was so close to seeing your mom Thursday. Aramark catered to

the Bldg which is next to the Beal Bldg. Told a friend/co-worker

about you and your mom, how close our paths have been in life and how

much I wanted to meet you and your mom in person. Well, we catered for

120 people at the and needed to stay there to watch over things.

If it hadn't been so cold and windy that day I would've walked over to

meet your mom. I am so very happy you have joined the group. You will

find a wealth of information, a world of support, and hearts bigger than

LBD itself. Keep in mind too that I am just a phone call away. I

believe I won't be working Aramark this next week so if time permits, I

would love to hear from you again. Thank you for signing on here. I

have already been praying for your dad, and for the strength and courage

it takes from family members to face this journey.

Sandie

neighboring Des Moines to Adel...sorta :-))

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Welcome ,

I am the other Iowan here. I live in Norwalk. Sandi has been a great help to

me also. Everyone here can relate to what you are going through. Stay posted

and you can learn a lot here and you will find a great group of loving and

caring people.

Debbie Curtis

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  • 1 month later...

Hi -

We share a lot in common. My mom was diagnosed with LDB about two years

ago. She is 75 and I am 45. She was doing OK at home (my dad died a few

years ago) with our bringing her meds. and food. She developed aspiration

pneumonia the end of October and was hospitalized. From there we had to

place her within an Alzheimer's facility of an assisted living community.

That was 3 months ago and now mom is in the low functioning side of the

facility in a wheelchair unable to walk. Although, she seems to have

stabilized, it has been fast and very painful. Just last week she does not

know me. She knows I am someone who loves and cares for her, but she cannot

call me her daughter.

I have learned a lot and hurt a lot, but now I am at a stage where I

accept the LBD and cherish the time we have together. Please let me know if

I can help in any way. We are the same age with mom's the same age. I do

have children 7 and 10 which keep me busy on the other end.

Welcome to you. You will find this group warm, helpful and most of all

sympathetic to you and LBD. God bless and looking forward to hearing more

from you.

God bless, Martha (S.C.)

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,

Expect a hellish time that changes every day and moment,

that typically kills the care givers off, before the patient.

Please have your parents check out TRICARE services.

I am sure you mom will qualify as a dependent.

TRICARE can and will pickup the all costs related to

all medicines for your mom's care. Good luck.

V/R Pat

vetmedtexas1 wrote:

> Hello. My mother was finally diagnosed with LBD. It has been

> extremely hard, since they could not diagnose her before. Also, no

> place would take her even though she worked for the Department of

> Defense for about 20 years and father was a bomber pilot in 3 wars

> and retired as a Colonel. The military changed, and now will only

> pay partial. She was in a military hospital in San , TX for a

> couple of months, but now they will only pay partial on her

> medicine. Thank God that she and my father saved some money, plus

> she had to sell her home. I believe that they took advantage of her

> on the sale of her home. She was sick, but would not tell me much.

> I would go down to San and she would say that she saw things,

> like animals and people hiding. I thought that she needed to have

> her vision checked. I wish that I had been more observant. I saw

> her this weekend, and she knew who I was, and was in a really good

> mood the second day. I had to leave on the second day. I wish I

> didn't have to. Could someone tell me what I should expect? Please?

> Mother is 73, I am 45.

>

>

>

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