question on parenting

[Guest guest]

I to have of question on parenting I to be as shared so overwhelmed

lately and mostly it is of over the husband and issues of

responsiblity and the added care now of my oldest one and her baby.

She is of 18 now and in college. Has no real skills to work and is

not able to drive.... her AS issues do cause me to get overwhelmed

but much of it is realted to her lack of geting it and reading the

cues of me and such even though she is of very high functioning in

many areas. It was of suggested to me this day that it would be of

best for me to force of her out to live on own and in my heart cant

do this as feel this is of cruel to make of my daughter who is of

need now to be forced out to live a world she isnot completely yet

prepared for. I to be to know this is of a goal set that I to be

working toward as a process but currenly she has no income to do this

and no ability to drive or travel. She does get of some money for her

daughter but that is of only 339.00 a month not enough to live on.

Aimee has been to be making great progress and is of surprizing a

good mom for the most part but some things that she lags is is due to

her social /emotional immaturity yet. For me to force of her out will

increase my anxiety and worry 100 fold. I to help of her but in ture

do not do it all and I to force of Aimee to be of responsible for the

baby and she is of aware of this. I to pnly care for the baby when

she goes to college and on other occasions if in the mood to be of

play with the baby will care for her for short times, but I to not

take over and or let of Aimee not be of responsible in the begin did

be to over see much to assure the care was of good but one I to felt

she understood I to faded out my support in those areas , like I to

no longer go to the doctor appointments with her and such. I to let

of Aimee do it all now. If the baby is of screaming for longer than O

to think is of right I to go and get of Aimee and prompt her to care

for her baby but that is of it.

I to feel like cant do what is of being suggested because to me I to

feel it not a fair things to do to Aimee and yes she got of this baby

from her choices but not feel she needs to be punished all of life

for her actions because her life has chnaged greatly already due to

the baby so her consequneces are already set. I to feel she needs of

support to just move on in life and get on right tract to be more

prepared for life so she can move on and out. If it were not for the

baby then still she would be of went to college in a dorm setting but

because of baby it is of different and she needs of some support to

move on in life.

Is she of responsible in all areas of life no , is she messy and make

huge messes and clutter yes, but in ture this has always been of

Aimee she cant see messes because she has limited ability to organize

her environment. She is doing hte best she can in the core areas of

her life right now. We do have of some issues that need worked on

like set responsiblituy to certain chores which some have already

been of set such as I to not be to do her or the babys laundry ever,

unless i to see her really struggling then might do one load but that

is of all.

It was felt I to be of enabling her but I to lack in true what this

means outside of the enabling I to understand, such as having an

adult child to drugs or alcohol and bailing them out of jail that is

of the only enabling I to understand. My Aimee is of not doing this

so lack how one can enable. I to be of pushing her hard as i to know

how and feel she is of able to do and each time as can will increase

the responsiblity until she is able to do for self. Right now she is

of taking 14 credit hours of college each week. the home work is of

almost the same for her, then the care of baby and her needs and

laundry and most of the agencies i to know she is able to work with

now on her own. Am I to b eof enabling her to let her live to the

home ofme even though she is of now college and with baby? I to be to

not know and concerned if I to be of doing parenting wrong to her or

if they are of right and should be to force her to learn life and

push her out to discover how to survive on her own.

I to be to felt was of doing my best by her but now not sure of this

and if i to be of doing her more harm by not forcing her out yet. And

as I to shared she is of part of my stress levels this is of true and

the care of the baby is of great at times, but she is of not core of

the issues to me as the husband of me is in life.

Sondra