Re: Showing Affection/Sondra?

[Guest guest]

As unfortunate as that may have been, on the other hand, it may have been a

saving grace for you Sondra! Really, I can relate totally. My husband has moved

almost 40 times in his 49 years. I have moved 25 times in 45 years. It does

allow you the ability to understand change and what is important and what is

not. I do believe you had a step dad that must have cared. right?

Shanna

sondra wrote:

shanna the family of me was of not homeless but did move 17 times in

22

years so always moving .the step father of me did of that because he to

be to not liked of the school calling over my behaviors and I to get

into much torubles to that and soon boxes every where to move again.

Sondra

---------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

shanna the moves yes may be to ahve been of why felxible in many things

and yet so rigid in others . the step father of me noe was of very

cruel and hateful abusive man and happy the mother of me divorced of

him a few years back. I to think he was of covering hims own fears of

being caught to cause of marks on us, he was also maybe not mentally

well and so wasof a very unprdictble person with cruel ways about him

to degrade and abuse. Never sexually though from him.

Sondra

[Guest guest]

Shanna,

I just got home from work and she won't talk to me or come near me because I

have " baby germs on me " . She also is disgusted that my job entails changing

poopy diapers all day. I love my job, but she can't understand how I could love

anything that doesn't involve her.

Terri

Re: Re: Showing Affection/Sondra?

How funny! I am 45. I just wish I had the " fountain of youth " gene that you

inherited! My has an obsession with the fountain of youth. She must have

gotten it from the movie, Road to Eldorado. She really believes it exists and

has asked us quite a number of times to go and find it for her. She does not

want to age. She is 12 but looks like a five year old in her face. Very baby

faced and smooth. I wish someone would find that thing so she would stop asking

us! lol

Shanna

sondra wrote:

shannon that was of the day i to maked of my DVD in Michigan and so had

of help to get of dressed nice and teh husband to telled me I to looked

great that day too. I to not normally look of this fashion and not like

to dress up into dress like clothings and so was so happy to get out of

them LOL. But many to say I to be of to look younger than the age of

me. I to be fo 44 so not young the kids of me to say I to be of old.

Sondra

---------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

Sondra, Thanks for sharing this personal story. I know you and your siblings

must have had it rough. It probably made you a better mother after witnessing

all of this. Very sensitive, I mean.

Shanna

sondra wrote:

shanna the moves yes may be to ahve been of why felxible in many

things

and yet so rigid in others . the step father of me noe was of very

cruel and hateful abusive man and happy the mother of me divorced of

him a few years back. I to think he was of covering hims own fears of

being caught to cause of marks on us, he was also maybe not mentally

well and so wasof a very unprdictble person with cruel ways about him

to degrade and abuse. Never sexually though from him.

Sondra

---------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

Terri, If she responds to behavioral therapy, maybe you could get a plan to

change that? Just a thought.

Shanna

Theresa wrote:

Shanna,

I just got home from work and she won't talk to me or come near me because I

have " baby germs on me " . She also is disgusted that my job entails changing

poopy diapers all day. I love my job, but she can't understand how I could love

anything that doesn't involve her.

Terri

Re: Re: Showing Affection/Sondra?

How funny! I am 45. I just wish I had the " fountain of youth " gene that you

inherited! My has an obsession with the fountain of youth. She must have

gotten it from the movie, Road to Eldorado. She really believes it exists and

has asked us quite a number of times to go and find it for her. She does not

want to age. She is 12 but looks like a five year old in her face. Very baby

faced and smooth. I wish someone would find that thing so she would stop asking

us! lol

Shanna

sondra wrote:

shannon that was of the day i to maked of my DVD in Michigan and so had

of help to get of dressed nice and teh husband to telled me I to looked

great that day too. I to not normally look of this fashion and not like

to dress up into dress like clothings and so was so happy to get out of

them LOL. But many to say I to be of to look younger than the age of

me. I to be fo 44 so not young the kids of me to say I to be of old.

Sondra

---------------------------------

We won't tell. Get more on shows you hate to love

(and love to hate): Yahoo! TV's Guilty Pleasures list.

[Guest guest]

shanna as adult now I to look back and see how things in ones life

molds and alters and changes one to be of who they are as adults. It

does make of my frustrated to see of all the things in the life of me

that had it been of different for me the outcomes of me might had

been of better. Such as to be born of a caring and gentle family who

to loved of me but then it would not maybe have molded of me to be

who I to be of this day. Much of hte gains and outcomes to self were

directly due to the need to problem solve to survive in the life I to

lived, which caused me to gain in life skills that maybe never would

have gained had been with a over protective parenting life. If things

were of different might not have been of to speak or be to learn to

do the things I to do now as a mom person, and maybe would not be of

the sondra person here.

So even though frustrated and pains are of great to know of my past

within me rest assured did not feel teh emotional impact of such bad

or traumas in the same fashions expected in typical people of the

same events in thier lives. but as adult and now have of the wrds and

understand the wrongs to it all can speak of it and understand why

this is of an emotional things of not good towards me as a little

girl back then.

So I to now have to go as my dog is of doign the attempts to speak of

human and tapping me with her paw to get me to let her out this

moring to go potty LOL she isof my disabled fury baby and I to love

of her /

Sondra

[Guest guest]

Shanna,

You know, I don't think this is an autism thing. I think it is a she is being

a pain in the but thing. Sometimes it is hard to tell the difference, but she

is really digging her heels in and wants me to quit. I can't let her think she

has that level of control. I don't give her a hard time or anything. I also

let her know I respect her feelings and if she doesn't want to hug me on work

days that is ok. I try to tell her all the time that I care for these babies

and children but I don't love them like I love her. I think that is what she is

concerned with. If we are out and a baby is crying she blocks her ears, so

actually it is kind of sensory for her too. The sound of the crying makes her

uncomfortable. At any rate, I am off today so she is cuddly.

Terri

Re: Re: Showing Affection/Sondra?

How funny! I am 45. I just wish I had the " fountain of youth " gene that you

inherited! My has an obsession with the fountain of youth. She must have

gotten it from the movie, Road to Eldorado. She really believes it exists and

has asked us quite a number of times to go and find it for her. She does not

want to age. She is 12 but looks like a five year old in her face. Very baby

faced and smooth. I wish someone would find that thing so she would stop asking

us! lol

Shanna

sondra wrote:

shannon that was of the day i to maked of my DVD in Michigan and so had

of help to get of dressed nice and teh husband to telled me I to looked

great that day too. I to not normally look of this fashion and not like

to dress up into dress like clothings and so was so happy to get out of

them LOL. But many to say I to be of to look younger than the age of

me. I to be fo 44 so not young the kids of me to say I to be of old.

Sondra

---------------------------------

We won't tell. Get more on shows you hate to love

(and love to hate): Yahoo! TV's Guilty Pleasures list.

[Guest guest]

Terri, I am so glad that you have this figured out with her. I also am glad that

you have a lot of time with your daughter. Give her a hug from me!

Shanna

Theresa wrote:

Shanna,

You know, I don't think this is an autism thing. I think it is a she is being a

pain in the but thing. Sometimes it is hard to tell the difference, but she is

really digging her heels in and wants me to quit. I can't let her think she has

that level of control. I don't give her a hard time or anything. I also let her

know I respect her feelings and if she doesn't want to hug me on work days that

is ok. I try to tell her all the time that I care for these babies and children

but I don't love them like I love her. I think that is what she is concerned

with. If we are out and a baby is crying she blocks her ears, so actually it is

kind of sensory for her too. The sound of the crying makes her uncomfortable. At

any rate, I am off today so she is cuddly.

Terri

Re: Re: Showing Affection/Sondra?

How funny! I am 45. I just wish I had the " fountain of youth " gene that you

inherited! My has an obsession with the fountain of youth. She must have

gotten it from the movie, Road to Eldorado. She really believes it exists and

has asked us quite a number of times to go and find it for her. She does not

want to age. She is 12 but looks like a five year old in her face. Very baby

faced and smooth. I wish someone would find that thing so she would stop asking

us! lol

Shanna

sondra wrote:

shannon that was of the day i to maked of my DVD in Michigan and so had

of help to get of dressed nice and teh husband to telled me I to looked

great that day too. I to not normally look of this fashion and not like

to dress up into dress like clothings and so was so happy to get out of

them LOL. But many to say I to be of to look younger than the age of

me. I to be fo 44 so not young the kids of me to say I to be of old.

Sondra

---------------------------------

We won't tell. Get more on shows you hate to love

(and love to hate): Yahoo! TV's Guilty Pleasures list.

[Guest guest]

Were you a stay-at-home mom for a while? All 3 of my girls get SO MAD

when I do anything outside of the house, esp my 9 yr old NT. She

thinks my place should be right there with them 24/7. A couple of

times we got down to the fact that she's jealous that I get to go and

do things that she can't do. Like one time I went to a tanning bed for

20 krunkin minutes for a major flareup of psoriasis. Jess was about 7

at the time. Oh man, did she throw a fit. Turns out, she thought if I

went to the tanning bed, she should get to go. I explained to her I

wouldn't even be going except it helps the psoriasis so much, but that

if I do want to go, it's my choice because I'm a grown-up.

I think when we're stay-at-homers our kids get this idea that we are

to be indespensible to them. Don't get me wrong, I think as mothers we

should be, but I also see the value of them realizing they aren't the

only ones that count in the world. It's funny, wants me to be

able to work to buy her things, but she also wants me here just to

know mom is here. I talk about " when I'm a nurse and working " and she

doesn't want me to work, yet she wants to do things like go to the

Cheetah Girls concert we went to last night that cost us $100. I'm

trying to work with them on everything has a cost and a benefit.

Debi

-

[Guest guest]

I don't think it has anything to do with autism or being a SAHM. I've

always worked, from when my son was 7 weeks old. Only time I've been

off in his entire life was maternity leave for him and for his baby

sister. It doesn't matter. He still thinks I should only have time for

him. Forget work, forget the baby, he'd prefer I didn't eve pay

attention to my husband. Obviously, he is not getting his way, but he

reminds me all the time of his opinion on the matter. The worst thing

now is that he knows that when I'm at work, I'm playing with other

kids. It's pretty unforgivable. But I keep going to work every single

weekday, and he whines about it every morning and tells me every night

not to go tomorrow.

Amnesty

>

> Were you a stay-at-home mom for a while? All 3 of my girls get SO MAD

> when I do anything outside of the house, esp my 9 yr old NT. She

> thinks my place should be right there with them 24/7. A couple of

> times we got down to the fact that she's jealous that I get to go and

> do things that she can't do. Like one time I went to a tanning bed for

> 20 krunkin minutes for a major flareup of psoriasis. Jess was about 7

> at the time. Oh man, did she throw a fit. Turns out, she thought if I

> went to the tanning bed, she should get to go. I explained to her I

> wouldn't even be going except it helps the psoriasis so much, but that

> if I do want to go, it's my choice because I'm a grown-up.

>

> I think when we're stay-at-homers our kids get this idea that we are

> to be indespensible to them. Don't get me wrong, I think as mothers we

> should be, but I also see the value of them realizing they aren't the

> only ones that count in the world. It's funny, wants me to be

> able to work to buy her things, but she also wants me here just to

> know mom is here. I talk about " when I'm a nurse and working " and she

> doesn't want me to work, yet she wants to do things like go to the

> Cheetah Girls concert we went to last night that cost us $100. I'm

> trying to work with them on everything has a cost and a benefit.

>

> Debi

>

> -

>

[Guest guest]

So we're just up the creek no matter how we cut it, huh?

Debi

>

> I don't think it has anything to do with autism or being a SAHM. I've

> always worked, from when my son was 7 weeks old. Only time I've been

> off in his entire life was maternity leave for him and for his baby

> sister. It doesn't matter. He still thinks I should only have time for

> him. Forget work, forget the baby, he'd prefer I didn't eve pay

> attention to my husband. Obviously, he is not getting his way, but he

> reminds me all the time of his opinion on the matter. The worst thing

> now is that he knows that when I'm at work, I'm playing with other

> kids. It's pretty unforgivable. But I keep going to work every single

> weekday, and he whines about it every morning and tells me every night

> not to go tomorrow.

> Amnesty

[Guest guest]

Sure seems that way. Still, it's nice to know I'm missed, lol.

Amnesty

> >

> > I don't think it has anything to do with autism or being a SAHM. I've

> > always worked, from when my son was 7 weeks old. Only time I've been

> > off in his entire life was maternity leave for him and for his baby

> > sister. It doesn't matter. He still thinks I should only have time for

> > him. Forget work, forget the baby, he'd prefer I didn't eve pay

> > attention to my husband. Obviously, he is not getting his way, but he

> > reminds me all the time of his opinion on the matter. The worst thing

> > now is that he knows that when I'm at work, I'm playing with other

> > kids. It's pretty unforgivable. But I keep going to work every single

> > weekday, and he whines about it every morning and tells me every night

> > not to go tomorrow.

> > Amnesty

>