POWER OUTAGE DURING A MAMMOGRAM (((laugh of the day)))

June 6, 2006

Guys, you haven't lived until you go through a mammogram.

POWER OUTAGE DURING A MAMMOGRAM

I actually kept my mammogram appointment. I was met with, " Hi! I'm Belinda! "

This perky clipboard carrier smiled from ear to ear, tilted her head to one

side and crooned, " All I need you to do is step into this room right hereee,

strip to the waist, then slip on this gown.

Everything clearrrr?

I'm thinking, " Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket science. "

Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors. With the right side

finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and said, " Hmmmm. Can you

stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?'

Fine, I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the

remaining circulation in my legs and neck and finish me off?

My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other boob wedged

beween those two 4 inch pieces of square glass) when we heard, then felt a zap!

Complete darkness and the power went off!

" Oh, maintenance is working. Bet they hit a snag. " Belinda headed for the

door.

" Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone are you? " I shouted.

Belinda kept going and said, " Oh, you fussy puppy...the door's wide open so

you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be rightttt backkk. "

Before I could shout " NOOOO! " she disappeared. And that's exactly how Bubba and

Earl, maintenance men extraordinaire, found me, half-naked and part of me

dangling from the Jaws of Life and the other part smashed between glass!

After exchanging polite " Hi, how's it going " type greetings, Bubba (or possibly

Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.

Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible

" Uh, yes, yes I did thanks. "

" You bet, take care " Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'd been

standing in the line at the grocery store.

Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin and making no

attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, " Oh I am sooo sorry! The power came

back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we

upset? "

And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps....

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