another new person to the group

[Guest guest]

I am new to the group and new to the wonderful world of autoimmune

disease. I still have not been definitively diagnosed but it

currently seems the suspicion is RA or lupus. All I know is that my

body is in a world of hurt, I feel angry at people and the world for

not understanding, and afraid that my life is going to change

irreversibly for the worse. I have had pain here and there since

last year with a flare in the fall and one big flare currently. My

blood work pretty much comes back normal except for my sed rate going

up. Indomethacin worked for a while but now I am on prednisone and I

start methotrexate next week. I basically feel confused about what

is wrong with me, why nobody can tell me what is wrong with me and

what I should do about it. I am at the point with the pain that I

just want it to go away but the bigger questions of what this all

means for me, my husband and what I hoped would be our long healthy

life together. I'm 30 years old, I haven't had children yet and there

are so many other future things that I feel like are disappearing

from the realm of possibility.

Sorry for the drama but things feel hopeless right now. Can anybody

tell me what I can expect from all this? How do you deal with the

pain? How do you deal with spouses, family and friends moving a

whole lot faster than you? How do you deal with all this medication?

Thanks,