surgery

April 3, 2006

, I looked up that Subway in Dracut, and it's on Lakeview Ave., which isn't far west of Bridge St. It's between Bridge St. and Mammoth Rd.

http://yellowpages.superpages.com/supermaps/mapinit.jsp?N=subway & L=Dracut+MA & STYPE=S & CID=99999999990 & LID=2038794880 & map.x=212 & map.y=125 & level=8 & lat=042679475 & lng=-071341940 & POI1lat=042679475 & POI1lng=-071341940 & POI1name=Subway & streetaddress=1734+Lakeview+Avenue & city=Dracut & state=MA & zip=01826

Bridge St. would be fine for me location-wise, but I don't know any place on Bridege St. where I would like to eat.

Does this look ok to you?

Sharon

[ ] Re: surgery> Precious dear one - my heart goes out to you. All I have to offer> you are my prayers. Prayers of strength, prayers of wisdom for the> doctor and his team. I'm so sorry that any of us has to go through> this experience. While the smoking was not good for you I do> understand how hard that must have been to quit after 30 years. You> deserve a standing ovation for that one! You deserve a HUGE party> to celebrate that accomplishment. You are the best, a remarkable> woman, one of character and strength to give that up to better your> overall health. I'm sooooooo PROUD of you! Your Prayer Warrior!> Alpine>>> >>>> Thanks for the advise on the blood issue Kathleen, I'll give it a> shot.>>>> So, three weeks until surgery. Here is my status. I also bought> the>> grappers online. They are great, my 6 year old has found a new way> to>> pick up his toys lol. I also bought a body pillow and slip on> shoes>> this weekend. This afternoon, I get more blood drawn.>>>> I am a bit depressed however it seems natural that I should be. My>> honey said at least six times this weekend, "you look like your> dog>> died". They just don't get it huh! Facing this beast is the> hardest>> thing I have had to do in a loooonnngg time. Besides that, I had> to>> quit smoking for this surgery (I don't expect any sympathy on that> note>> but it is still hard after 30 years.) I wanted to just belt him> but>> then I realized it is me, not him. Even my six year old is hiding> from>> me now a days. My pcp has me upping my dose of Welbutrin hopefully> that>> will help>>>>>>>>> scoliosis veterans * flatback sufferers * revision candidates>

April 3, 2006

,

I am so proud of you for quitting smoking! I smoked from age 16 to 42. I have been quit 16 years. I would not put one of those nasty things in my mouth now if you paid me a thousand bucks! But 2 weeks after I quit all it would take was a glass of wine. I know it is not something you want to do which makes it double hard but think of how much better you are going to feel. I didn't want to quit either but it was effecting my nervous system. After my surgery, every time I smoked my legs would get as heavy as bricks. I would have to wait about 15 minutes before I could get up and walk. Even with this going on it took me about a year to quit. Is that dumb or what? It's a hard habit to break but you can do it! You've already got 2 weeks under your belt. Keep up the good work.

Joyce E

Re: [ ] Re: surgery

Dear Alpine,Thanks for all the prayers. Since, I am a Christian I will take them all to heart andknow, my Lord is in control, even if I am not I realize the difference in quitting smokingbecause you want to and quitting because you have to. I am still stuck with the desireto smoke though I am determined not to. I have a six year old and am trying notto risk myself anymore than I have to, for his sake and mine.10 PM 4/3/2006, you wrote:

Precious dear one - my heart goes out to you. All I have to offer you are my prayers. Prayers of strength, prayers of wisdom for the doctor and his team. I'm so sorry that any of us has to go through this experience. While the smoking was not good for you I do understand how hard that must have been to quit after 30 years. You deserve a standing ovation for that one! You deserve a HUGE party to celebrate that accomplishment. You are the best, a remarkable woman, one of character and strength to give that up to better your overall health. I'm sooooooo PROUD of you! Your Prayer Warrior! Alpine>> Thanks for the advise on the blood issue Kathleen, I'll give it a shot.> > So, three weeks until surgery. Here is my status. I also bought the > grappers online. They are great, my 6 year old has found a new way to > pick up his toys lol. I also bought a body pillow and slip on shoes > this weekend. This afternoon, I get more blood drawn.> > I am a bit depressed however it seems natural that I should be. My > honey said at least six times this weekend, "you look like your dog > died". They just don't get it huh! Facing this beast is the hardest > thing I have had to do in a loooonnngg time. Besides that, I had to > quit smoking for this surgery (I don't expect any sympathy on that note > but it is still hard after 30 years.) I wanted to just belt him but > then I realized it is me, not him. Even my six year old is hiding from > me now a days. My pcp has me upping my dose of Welbutrin hopefully that > will help>scoliosis veterans * flatback sufferers * revision candidates

April 3, 2006

Hi,

I know exactly how you feel I tried to tell my husband what a big deal this surgery is, and even though he came to all pre-op doctor visits, he just didn't get it. He "got it" in the recovery room after surgery. Of course, when I started to look well again, it was hard for him, at times, to understand that I was still in the healing process. But he came through with help when needed. And still does...when I remind him!

Bonnie

[ ] surgery

Thanks for the advise on the blood issue Kathleen, I'll give it a shot.So, three weeks until surgery. Here is my status. I also bought the grappers online. They are great, my 6 year old has found a new way to pick up his toys lol. I also bought a body pillow and slip on shoes this weekend. This afternoon, I get more blood drawn.I am a bit depressed however it seems natural that I should be. My honey said at least six times this weekend, "you look like your dog died". They just don't get it huh! Facing this beast is the hardest thing I have had to do in a loooonnngg time. Besides that, I had to quit smoking for this surgery (I don't expect any sympathy on that note but it is still hard after 30 years.) I wanted to just belt him but then I realized it is me, not him. Even my six year old is hiding from me now a days. My pcp has me upping my dose of Welbutrin hopefully that will help

April 3, 2006

,

For what it is worth, I think many men " minimize " because that is

the way they are taught to deal with things. You have been handed a

pretty rotten hand of cards here. No, it is not the worst, but

still... here you are dealing with something that you thought was

long in the past, and here it is again.

I am sure you looked this over, but the files section has tips on

what to take to the hospital. My two favorites were silky jams

(which I still use and expect to for the rest of my life!) and the

Oil of Olay Facial Express...waterless face wipes (not the soaping

kind). I loved being able to freshen up a couple times a day.

I think it is normal to have fear or concerns leading into a big

surgery. Lets face it, how well balanced a person would you be if

you were going into the surgery (and a year plus of recovery) in a

lighthearted fashion? It would make me think you were overmedicated!

It is a very good thing that you have quit smoking, I don't have to

tell you that. Your life depends on it...now and in the future. It

was/is a very hard thing to do so give yourself credit for taking on

that big gorilla. I hope you will come around to seeing your

nonsmoking status as a permanant thing....if not, you are likely to

relapse and that may also compromise your bone health in the future.

Please try to see it as a permanant choice you wanted to make JUST

FOR YOU! I quit almost 18 years ago...but I was a hearty 2+ pack a

dayer. I know how hard it is...and it may be harder for you because

you are not able to be all that active. Whenever my cravings got bad

in the early quitting I would find a physical way to let out the

tension...walking or biking. Maybe you can go do a water workout?

Or spend the energy rearranging your kitchen and bath so the stuff

you are going to want regularly are up high? At least you will feel

your angst is being put to good use!

Well, vent away here if need be...we all understand how big a deal

this is for you and hope you know we are behind you 100%.

Take care, Cam

..

>

> Thanks for the advise on the blood issue Kathleen, I'll give it a

shot.

>

> So, three weeks until surgery. Here is my status. I also bought

the

> grappers online. They are great, my 6 year old has found a new way

to

> pick up his toys lol. I also bought a body pillow and slip on

shoes

> this weekend. This afternoon, I get more blood drawn.

>

> I am a bit depressed however it seems natural that I should be. My

> honey said at least six times this weekend, " you look like your

dog

> died " . They just don't get it huh! Facing this beast is the

hardest

> thing I have had to do in a loooonnngg time. Besides that, I had

to

> quit smoking for this surgery (I don't expect any sympathy on that

note

> but it is still hard after 30 years.) I wanted to just belt him

but

> then I realized it is me, not him. Even my six year old is hiding

from

> me now a days. My pcp has me upping my dose of Welbutrin hopefully

that

> will help

>

April 4, 2006

Thanks so much Joyce. I am still going minute by minute but at least

I am still going. Thanks for the support.

At 03:07 PM 4/3/2006, you wrote:

,

I am so proud of you for quitting smoking! I smoked from age 16 to

42. I have been quit 16 years. I would not put one of those

nasty things in my mouth now if you paid me a thousand bucks! But 2

weeks after I quit all it would take was a glass of wine. I know it

is not something you want to do which makes it double hard but think of

how much better you are going to feel. I didn't want to quit either

but it was effecting my nervous system. After my surgery, every

time I smoked my legs would get as heavy as bricks. I would have to wait

about 15 minutes before I could get up and walk. Even with this going on

it took me about a year to quit. Is that dumb or what? It's a hard

habit to break but you can do it! You've already got 2 weeks

under your belt. Keep up the good work.

Joyce E

Re: [ ] Re: surgery

Dear Alpine,

Thanks for all the prayers. Since, I am a Christian I will take them

all to heart and

know, my Lord is in control, even if I am not I realize the

difference in quitting smoking

because you want to and quitting because you have to. I am still

stuck with the desire

to smoke though I am determined not to. I have a six year old and am

trying not

to risk myself anymore than I have to, for his sake and

mine.

10 PM 4/3/2006, you wrote:

Precious dear one - my heart goes out to you. All I have to offer

you are my prayers. Prayers of strength, prayers of wisdom for

the

doctor and his team. I'm so sorry that any of us has to go through

this experience. While the smoking was not good for you I do

understand how hard that must have been to quit after 30 years.

You

deserve a standing ovation for that one! You deserve a HUGE

party

to celebrate that accomplishment. You are the best, a

remarkable

woman, one of character and strength to give that up to better your

overall health. I'm sooooooo PROUD of you! Your Prayer Warrior!

Alpine

>

> Thanks for the advise on the blood issue Kathleen, I'll give it

a

shot.

>

> So, three weeks until surgery. Here is my status. I also bought

the

> grappers online. They are great, my 6 year old has found a new

way

to

> pick up his toys lol. I also bought a body pillow and slip on

shoes

> this weekend. This afternoon, I get more blood drawn.

>

> I am a bit depressed however it seems natural that I should be.

My

> honey said at least six times this weekend, " you look like

your

dog

> died " . They just don't get it huh! Facing this beast is the

hardest

> thing I have had to do in a loooonnngg time. Besides that, I had

to

> quit smoking for this surgery (I don't expect any sympathy on

that

note

> but it is still hard after 30 years.) I wanted to just belt him

but

> then I realized it is me, not him. Even my six year old is

hiding

from

> me now a days. My pcp has me upping my dose of Welbutrin

hopefully

that

> will help

>

scoliosis veterans * flatback sufferers * revision candidates

April 5, 2006

Hi ,

I quit smoking just before my revision surgery, after smoking for about 40 years. I had tried to stop several times before without success. A good fusion was my goal and I was determined not to do anything that could hurt it. It helped a great deal that I am a slow recoverer and did not get out the house for 3 months after surgery. So there was no way I could get a cigarette. (Of course, no one would go get them for me! ) By the end of three months, I didn't even want one. No way was I going to go through that surgery again due to a failed fusion from smoking. So, it's been 8 years now since my revision surgery and I am cigarette free! And I have a solid fusion Good for me! And good for you! You'll see, it will work for you. I know it's hard, but keep up the good work.

Bonnie

---- Original Message -----

From: cammaltby

Sent: Monday, April 03, 2006 3:30 PM

Subject: [ ] Re: surgery

,For what it is worth, I think many men "minimize" because that is the way they are taught to deal with things. You have been handed a pretty rotten hand of cards here. No, it is not the worst, but still... here you are dealing with something that you thought was long in the past, and here it is again.I am sure you looked this over, but the files section has tips on what to take to the hospital. My two favorites were silky jams (which I still use and expect to for the rest of my life!) and the Oil of Olay Facial Express...waterless face wipes (not the soaping kind). I loved being able to freshen up a couple times a day.I think it is normal to have fear or concerns leading into a big surgery. Lets face it, how well balanced a person would you be if you were going into the surgery (and a year plus of recovery) in a lighthearted fashion? It would make me think you were overmedicated!It is a very good thing that you have quit smoking, I don't have to tell you that. Your life depends on it...now and in the future. It was/is a very hard thing to do so give yourself credit for taking on that big gorilla. I hope you will come around to seeing your nonsmoking status as a permanant thing....if not, you are likely to relapse and that may also compromise your bone health in the future. Please try to see it as a permanant choice you wanted to make JUST FOR YOU! I quit almost 18 years ago...but I was a hearty 2+ pack a dayer. I know how hard it is...and it may be harder for you because you are not able to be all that active. Whenever my cravings got bad in the early quitting I would find a physical way to let out the tension...walking or biking. Maybe you can go do a water workout?Or spend the energy rearranging your kitchen and bath so the stuff you are going to want regularly are up high? At least you will feel your angst is being put to good use!Well, vent away here if need be...we all understand how big a deal this is for you and hope you know we are behind you 100%.Take care, Cam.>> Thanks for the advise on the blood issue Kathleen, I'll give it a shot.> > So, three weeks until surgery. Here is my status. I also bought the > grappers online. They are great, my 6 year old has found a new way to > pick up his toys lol. I also bought a body pillow and slip on shoes > this weekend. This afternoon, I get more blood drawn.> > I am a bit depressed however it seems natural that I should be. My > honey said at least six times this weekend, "you look like your dog > died". They just don't get it huh! Facing this beast is the hardest > thing I have had to do in a loooonnngg time. Besides that, I had to > quit smoking for this surgery (I don't expect any sympathy on that note > but it is still hard after 30 years.) I wanted to just belt him but > then I realized it is me, not him. Even my six year old is hiding from > me now a days. My pcp has me upping my dose of Welbutrin hopefully that > will help>

April 22, 2006

Nan and good luck with your operations..I will be thinking about you 2 as I have my 2nd stage on firday 28th also..Wow were all having our surgery's close together..There's just so many of us now in this group..Well good luck ladies it will be over before you know it..take care VonnieNan <dams4all@...> wrote: Hi allWell I am leaving tomorrow morning to my "new home" in St. Louis. Darrel said that he would contact Suzie with any update. Remember, my surgery is not until Friday the 28th. I am looking forward to meeting Martha at Dr. Bridwell's on Mon. , I wanted to wish you good luck with your surgery. When I feel up to it, we can compare notes. Fell free to email me privately if you want to.Thank you all for all your support and I hope to talk again

soon.Hugs, Nan

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April 22, 2006

---Dear Vonnie,

How are you feeling? ,PA

In , vonnie callahan

<vonniec20032000@...> wrote:

>

> Nan and good luck with your operations..I will be thinking

about you 2 as I have my 2nd stage on firday 28th also..Wow were all

having our surgery's close together..There's just so many of us now

in this group..Well good luck ladies it will be over before you know

it..take care Vonnie

> Nan <dams4all@...> wrote: Hi all

>

> Well I am leaving tomorrow morning to my " new home " in St. Louis.

> Darrel said that he would contact Suzie with any update. Remember,

my

> surgery is not until Friday the 28th. I am looking forward to

meeting

> Martha at Dr. Bridwell's on Mon.

>

> , I wanted to wish you good luck with your surgery. When I

> feel up to it, we can compare notes. Fell free to email me

privately

> if you want to.

>

> Thank you all for all your support and I hope to talk again soon.

>

> Hugs,

> Nan

>

> scoliosis veterans * flatback sufferers * revision candidates

>

April 22, 2006

Best of luck to you too Nan, your in my prayers.

>

> Well I am leaving tomorrow morning to my " new home " in St. Louis.

> Darrel said that he would contact Suzie with any update.

Remember, my

> surgery is not until Friday the 28th. I am looking forward to

meeting

> Martha at Dr. Bridwell's on Mon.

>

> , I wanted to wish you good luck with your surgery. When I

> feel up to it, we can compare notes. Fell free to email me

privately

> if you want to.

>

> Thank you all for all your support and I hope to talk again soon.

>

> Hugs,

> Nan

>

April 22, 2006

Hi Vonnie,

Thanks for the warm wishes. I doubt I will be online before

yours on the 28th, so my heart is with you also.

Hi all

>

> Well I am leaving tomorrow morning to my " new home " in St. Louis.

> Darrel said that he would contact Suzie with any update.

Remember, my

> surgery is not until Friday the 28th. I am looking forward to

meeting

> Martha at Dr. Bridwell's on Mon.

>

> , I wanted to wish you good luck with your surgery. When I

> feel up to it, we can compare notes. Fell free to email me

privately

> if you want to.

>

> Thank you all for all your support and I hope to talk again soon.

>

> Hugs,

> Nan

>

> scoliosis veterans * flatback sufferers * revision candidates

>

April 24, 2006

Hi Pa ,I'm doing fine.I am waiting patiently for friday,although I am really getting nervous again..I just want it over, I think you guys that went in right away after the 1st stage for the 2nd one didn't have that much time to think..It is a 24 day wait for me and now I want it over.I'm still walking with a cane somewhat but still have some pain too.. how big was the scare on your belly? I'm hoping it's not that big..For some reason cutting the belly is really bothering me.I don't know why? Maybe cause I'll be in pain in the belly too? Who knows..Oh I know maybe cause I won't be able to wear my thong to the beach..LOL yeah right..that would be the day...LOL .. how is work going? Are you feeling like yourself yet? is having her 1st stage today hope she does well also..Take Care,Vonnie

Celebrate Earth Day everyday! Discover 10 things you can do to help slow climate change. Earth Day

April 24, 2006

Hey Vonnie,

Hang in there girl...you are in the home stretch now! A week from

today you will be past the god awful first 48 hours and starting to

perk up a bit. You are right, I didn't have too much time to agonize

over stage 2 & and they had me there captive....but I completely

sympathize with your wish to get it over with now.

I never compared scars with anyone...but you could still wear your

thong, girlfriend....mine runs from about the belly button to just

at the top of the pubic hair (which reminds me that part of the scar

itched like crazy when I woke up...which was good because it takes

your mind off everything else!). Anyway...everyone scars differently

but now at 14 months post-op mine is just a little white line.

I wished someone had told me this before....this part of you will be

very sore, I guess because the muscles of your abdomin are pulled

aside for so long...anyway...it is the kind of thing where having a

small pillow or similar object to press against this area while you

are coughing or using the john or in any way using those muscles

helps for awhile. The nurses ended up folding up a bed sheet for

me...but I could have brought a better small pillow had I thought of

it.

Stay mellow...you are almost done.

I will be thinking of you Friday, and will check with your hubby

over the weekend.

Take Care and best of luck in the final go-round, Cam

April 24, 2006

carlene, i am just now answering your email from 4/5. this is an update to

you and the group on my surgery. i am scheduled with dr. kuflic who is an

orthopedic surgeon at beth israel hospital for may 22nd. however, on thursday

i was finally able to increase my neurontin up to 1800 mg a day. and there i

was on friday, almost pain free. and saturday was even better. so i am

thinking wow. cancel the surgery. well so much for that. today was not very

goo

d. but i called my neurosurgeon, dr. digi's office today and said it was

urgent that i see him and they said they could give me an appt at the end of

may. so much for urgent. and then i told the office manager that i urgently

needed to see dr. digi this week and she said why and i said bec. i am either

going to have surgery or commit suicide. dr. digi called me back (amazing).

the only part of the note he got was that i was going to commit suicide and

he wanted to know if i was still alive. so i asked him why he told me i

needed a 3-level fusion and he looked at my mri's (apparently he made a copy of

them since i have the originals). and he could not figure out why he told me

that. he said that i only needed an L3-L4 fusion. one level. and i told him

it was amazing that he was apologizing since doctors are such arrogant

assholes. anyway dr. digi is making room for me on wednesday no matter what

and i

will go talk to him. i am leaning towards having my surgery with dr. digi

since he has been my surgeon for the last two years and he is rated as one of

the best doctors on all those lists and that is important to me. what bothers

me is that his associate is the one who puts the pedicles and screws in bec.

dr. digi said that he doesn't do that well. that scares me a little bit.

dr. di gi only does spine surgeries and he is late 50's years old. he is head

of neuro at roosevelt hospital. he also said i was not a good candidate for

minimally invasive bec.. i am too fat. i am a 5'4 " and 160 and built solid

since i have always been weight training. when did i become " too fat " ?

marsha

April 24, 2006

---Vonnie,

Yes, I thought 10 day wait was torture, I can't imagine 24, yikes!!

Well, the scar is from my belly button, under it, to right above my

pubic area, it is pretty long and it is very hard in the center of

it. It has faded a bit, I was going to put VIt. E on it but never

did, it was real itchy early on , while it was scaring over but my

thong bikini days have long been over so I just let it go. I did not

like the feeling right after surgery being cut in that area, it hurt

alot more since I had never been cut there before, however , that

being said, everyday got better and better and now it feels like a

distant memory, today I am three months post op second stage....

WOrk is good, I am back fulltime..fulltime for me is 6.5 hours a day,

not 8 ,like the real world. To answer the question, Do I feel like

my old self?I must honestly say NO, I am still struggling with

getting used to my new torso, I tend to want to still lean forward to

some degree and must remind myself all the time to be aware of

that..my stomach is protruding more than I have ever been used too, I

had a super flat stomach before this, now I don't. I feel like a

stiff soldier some days, standing at attention....am I pain free? For

the most part yes, occassional " ghost pain " that subsides if I move

a different way, nothing that drives me to drugs...well only the one

ot 2 ultram/tramadol I take each day just becasue I think I should..I

am glad I did it, but I do think there is a lot of truth in it takes

a good year to feel normal....whatever that means.. I can almost

shave my entire leg to my ankle, put my own pants and underware on..I

still can't do socks but the weather is warmer and I just don't

bother. I guess in the scope of things I am doing pretty well....I

think one always wants to do more, faster, than we are able, it

ceratinly has slowed me down, I can;t walk as fast, my stride is

shorter....I used to have a huge stride and could walk super fast!! I

will be sending you postive thoughts this week as you take on round

2, before you know it you;ll be done and giving someone else all your

reports. Take a few deep breaths and get ready to jump off the cliff

again......and give Dr.Rand a big hello from me!!!!, PA

In , vonnie callahan

<vonniec20032000@...> wrote:

>

> Hi Pa ,I'm doing fine.I am waiting patiently for

friday,although I am really getting nervous again..I just want it

over, I think you guys that went in right away after the 1st stage

for the 2nd one didn't have that much time to think..It is a 24 day

wait for me and now I want it over.I'm still walking with a cane

somewhat but still have some pain too.. how big was the scare on

your belly? I'm hoping it's not that big..For some reason cutting

the belly is really bothering me.I don't know why? Maybe cause I'll

be in pain in the belly too? Who knows..Oh I know maybe cause I won't

be able to wear my thong to the beach..LOL yeah right..that would be

the day...LOL ..

> how is work going? Are you feeling like yourself yet?

is having her 1st stage today hope she does well also..Take

Care,Vonnie

>

> ---------------------------------

> Celebrate Earth Day everyday! Discover 10 things you can do to

help slow climate change. Earth Day

>

April 25, 2006

Cam,I'm trying to hang in there..I am depressed this week and I'm only thinking about this friday..just wish it was over..I know it will be soon but still healing and going in for another is hard..But you know that..I'll make it...I'll tell hubby you'll be calling him over the weekend to find out the scoop..you know mr personality...LOL But that's him unlike me I talk to everyone..LOL Thanks for everything.... Vonniecammaltby <cammaltby@...> wrote: Hey Vonnie,Hang in there girl...you are in the home stretch now! A week from today you will be past the god awful first 48 hours and starting to perk up a bit. You are right, I didn't have too much time to agonize over stage 2 & and they had me there captive....but I completely sympathize with your wish to get it over with now.I never compared scars with

anyone...but you could still wear your thong, girlfriend....mine runs from about the belly button to just at the top of the pubic hair (which reminds me that part of the scar itched like crazy when I woke up...which was good because it takes your mind off everything else!). Anyway...everyone scars differently but now at 14 months post-op mine is just a little white line.I wished someone had told me this before....this part of you will be very sore, I guess because the muscles of your abdomin are pulled aside for so long...anyway...it is the kind of thing where having a small pillow or similar object to press against this area while you are coughing or using the john or in any way using those muscles helps for awhile. The nurses ended up folding up a bed sheet for me...but I could have brought a better small pillow had I thought of it.Stay mellow...you are almost done.I will be thinking of you Friday, and

will check with your hubby over the weekend.Take Care and best of luck in the final go-round, Cam

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April 25, 2006

,

Sounds great. email me at janeanddave@... and we can pick a

time and place.

Jane

> > > >

> > > > Hi Pa ,I'm doing fine.I am waiting patiently for

> > > friday,although I am really getting nervous again..I just want

it

> > > over, I think you guys that went in right away after the 1st

> stage

> > > for the 2nd one didn't have that much time to think..It is a

24

> > day

> > > wait for me and now I want it over.I'm still walking with a

cane

> > > somewhat but still have some pain too.. how big was the

scare

> > on

> > > your belly? I'm hoping it's not that big..For some reason

> cutting

> > > the belly is really bothering me.I don't know why? Maybe cause

> > I'll

> > > be in pain in the belly too? Who knows..Oh I know maybe cause

I

> > won't

> > > be able to wear my thong to the beach..LOL yeah right..that

> would

> > be

> > > the day...LOL ..

> > > > how is work going? Are you feeling like yourself yet?

> > > is having her 1st stage today hope she does well

> > also..Take

> > > Care,Vonnie

> > > >

> > > > ---------------------------------

> > > > Celebrate Earth Day everyday! Discover 10 things you can do

to

> > > help slow climate change. Earth Day

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

April 30, 2006

hey carlene, it's me, marsha.

tomorrow is 3 weeks to surgery. i am so ready and so terrified. this week

i had to make A decision between my surgeon at roosevelt hospitial, dr. digi,

who i had been going to for 2 years. and the brand new doctor, dr. kuflik at

beth israel hospital. i ran it past my physical therapst who i trust

completely and he told me he had only seen 3 surgeries of dr. digi, but that

one of

the surgeries was bad and had to be done over repeatedly. what scares me is

that dr. digi is rated on the best doctors lists in new york and natonally.

and he is a complete jerk. dr. kuflik is not on any of these lists but i

really feel he knows what he is doing. dr kuflik;s office called me on friday

and told me that dr. kuflik wants me to have a cat scan. they then made all

the arrangements for me to have it on monday so that dr. kuflik will have all

the results when he sees me on wednesday. they are ordering this test since

my last mri was august. they want up to the minute information. dr. digi

wasn't even going to do this. scary. but dr kuflik uses manufactured bone

and not real bone and dr. digi said real bone is better. so now i am really

confused. but i just think that dr. kuflik knows what he is doing.

surgery is monday, may 22nd.

marsha

April 30, 2006

hi marsha,

i have been going to write and see what you had decided. fear is understandable

for any surgery and especially for the results but you know it just makes

tension in your body and causes more pain?

the spiritual aspect of my new healing program has been to practice focusing on

the NOW after reading The Power of Now which helped me see how i had let my

identify become my back and all the fear, anxiety and hopes for that were really

wearing me out and enhancing my pain. i am also continuing to see a therapist

that i have worked with for years and she is so wonderfully supportive and

helpful not letting me fall into the fear.

along with the spiritual work i have been very involved in my physical

rehabilitation program after the MT surgeon told me that the only thing i could

do was to let him fuse 3/4 of my spine; and there was nothing else i could do to

make my back better. my husband and i were terrified for 2 months before i

finally asked our family doc to order MRIs and then we met with him and he

suggested that i keep on with the Rolfing, add restorative yoga which has been

wonderful both for my back and new knees and my spirit and to do pt with a guy

who is 1 of 47 in the country who does Primal Reflex Release Techniques in

addition to some " standard " pt. i have had 3 Rolfing sessions, 3 yoga sessions

and 2 prrt sessions and the changes have been quite amazing. i am most days

pain free, do take some tramadol when i do lots of stuff outside, etc.

yesterday i took my registered therapy dog to a nursing home for a visit and to

interview a potential new tdogger; it is the first time i have been tdoggin' in

about a year. i am walking a lot, working in my yard and flower beds a lot(with

limitations from the pt about how much bending, lifting, etc. i do now until we

are down the road a ways and my spine is more stable) and sleeping a lot and

good sleep. i have cut back on my time on the computer so i can do other things

and not overdo because my stamina is not yet back up to par. as a matter of

fact, i am tired today, was just finishing packing some orders and then going to

have some lunch and lie down on my couch for awhile; but i was outside all day

on thursday, had a prrt session on friday after which one of other Loving Paws

puppy raisers came out with her pup and we threw tennis balls for an hour and

half. then yesterday, went for lunch with my wonderful, supportive friend after

tdoggin' so i am tired today and taking it kinda easy.

but i have been thinking about you a lot and i guess from what you have said and

from my own experience with dr kuflik, i would go with him. and i think

artificial bone is best because it will not wear out like human bone. btw, i

did get a letter from dr. k who said i was not a candidate for minimally

invasive surgery because of the " extensive degree of degeneration of the discs

in my lumbar spine. " he also said, " i think if you were to undergo surgery, it

woud indeed be a quite extensive surgical procedure and obviously i would only

suggest that if you are sufficiently symptomatic to warrant that. "

both my family doc and the pt told me they have seen worse mris from people who

have no pain at all and are walking fine.

so, i am moving forward, one day at a time and doing what i need to do each day,

hour, moment. and feeling so much better physically and emotionally.

i keep sending you angels....keep me posted and write whenever you need to. it

helps to share the fear, to let it go that way.

if you want to know more about the pt i am doing you can google it i am sure and

i can send you a copy of the article on my pt that was printed in the local

paper a couple months ago.

think positive thoughts....

Carlene in MT

Philosophers have argued for centuries about how many angels can dance on the

head of a pin, but materialists have always known it depends on whether they are

jitterbugging or dancing cheek to cheek.

-Tom Robbins

Re: surgery