RE: Discoloure; Barebacking

[Guest guest]

this is not joke, it is my real honest view.

some people like you are not too happy what read my

posting so just for the fact I share. It will not

change me at all.

--- stephanie blodgett

wrote:

> Hello everyone in the group. It is Monday morning

> here in Columbus OH. and I just read this post from

> Sunday. I work in client services for the Columbus

> Aids Task force and on the Ohio AIDS,HIV & STD hot

> line..and have myself been positive since the early

> 90's. My response to this post is that I can only

> hope and pray to God that this post is a joke and

> that this person doesn't really believe that it is

> okay(morally or health wise) either for him or her

> self to bareback with anyone while you are HIV pos.

> whether or not they say it is okay with them. That

> is all that I can say right now because it is almost

> to unreal for me to bekieve that this post is

> anything other than a joke or prank post.

>

> bgmaron wrote: I am poz for 12

> years . I had been bareback for years

> and years and also never wear condom unless if

> person

> have neg I rather ask to wear condom or Neg guys are

> responsible to ask too.

> I don't believe it is reinfection when I do bareback

> with other poz because I have been bareback all my

> life so my health is excellent and viral load and

> t-cell goes well. It is my personal decision and

> view

> on bareback is my own business because it is belong

> my

> soul. I have partner of 12 years we do bareback each

> other. I have many barebacks guys I know long times.

> I see them often. It don't change me or them.

> I always put word POZ or BAREBACK on my profiles on

> gay cruising websites. I get lot of guys responds

> every day. I always ask him before come over and

> meet

> for play such barebacking and POZ. I normally

> decline

> Neg guys who do pratice safe sex unless I must wear

> condom if Neg guys really want me .

> The only risk I encounter with other guys is common

> STD.

> It is my science view about reinfection Poz to Poz

> on

> bareback that don't affect me and other guys .

>

> Mark

>

>

>

> --- " R. " wrote:

>

> > It's a good thing to have these discussions from

> > time to time, even though we've discussed these

> > issues before. There are new members with

> different

> > views, and some of us who have been in this group

> > for a while may have changed our thinking.

> >

> > It's probably easiest to tell people all of the

> > time, to avoid any confusion, but that is easier

> for

> > some of us who live in big cities where there is

> not

> > so much stigma attached to being positive. Even in

> > San Francisco, where I live, it is not common

> > practice for people to routinely disclose their

> > status at sex clubs, especially if they are having

> > oral sex or jerking off.

> >

> > Most of us can agree that it is wrong not to

> > disclose your status before having anal sex

> without

> > a condom, as either the top or the bottom. Beyond

> > this consensus, whether and when you tell a

> partner

> > (aside from legal issues in some states) may

> depend

> > a lot on the circumstances of a sexual encounter

> and

> > your own asessment of the risk .

> >

> > If you are meeting someone for a " date, " with the

> > possibility that a long-term relationship might

> > develop, then I think it would be appropriate and

> > wise to tell that person up front. On the other

> > hand, if your encounter is expected to be a one

> time

> > thing, as with an online hookup, someone you meet

> in

> > a sex club or in a bar, and you are doing

> something

> > that you consider safe, then I think it is

> > reasonable not to disclose. However, if the other

> > person asks your status, or if the other person

> > discloses their status, thus implicitly asking you

> > to disclose your status, then I think you should

> > disclose. Of course, if the sex turns into

> > something more risky than anticipated, then you

> > should disclose, although it is awkward to

> disclose

> > in the midst of sex. And if the one time thing

> > becomes a more regular thing, then it is probably

> > right, though difficult, to disclose.

> >

> > There are a lot of grey areas here (eg, anonymous

> > anal sex with a condom), and sex and relationshops

> > often move in unexected directions, which almost

> > guarantees that any decision you make about

> > disclosure (other than disclosing all of the time)

> > must be constantly reexamined. If we are deciding

> > what is " safe " for our partners and when they have

> a

> > right to know our status, then we are putting a

> > pretty big burden on ourselves to know about

> > relative risks of infection from various sex acts

> in

> > certain circumstances (do you leak precum? do you

> > have sores in your mouth, or does your partner

> have

> > sores in his mouth?) We also presume that our

> > partners will have the same assessment of risk

> that

> > we do, although this is probably not true. It

> seems

> > that most of the ads from guys seeking blow jobs

> on

> > Craigslist in San Francisco are negative guys

> > seeking the same. How many of us would categorize

> > giving a blow job as risky for the recipient? We

> as

> > positive people may wrongly assume that our

> > partners are positive because of cues they give

> us,

> > and our partners may make incorrect assumptions

> > about our status because of things we say or do. I

> > think we as positive people have as much

> obligation

> > to protect our partners from seroconversion as our

> > negative partners do to protect themselves, even

> > when they are urging us to do something we believe

> > is unsafe.

> >

> > I've tried to answer your question as best I can,

> > , but the effort to answer the question keeps

> > raising more questions. I'd be interested in

> hearing

> > what other people think on the subject.

> >

> > * * * * * *

> >

> > I'm also interested in knowing what people think

> > of barebacking between positive partners now. I

> > suspect that there has been some change in

> thinking

> > on the subject since the last time it was

> discussed

> > in this forum. What is the latest news about the

> > risks of reinfection? What are you all doing

> > personally?

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > kscott wrote:

> > Er, what is 'safe' in terms of medical risk to

> > your partner is probably MUCH

> > different from what is 'safe' in terms of legal

> > responsibilities.

> >

> > Depends on your state's law, but for example,

> > exposing a partner to ANY risk

> > (I stress ANY, not significant, not unsafe, not

> > much: ANY) of infection,

> > without disclosing serostatus, is illegal in some

> > states.

> >

> > Discoloure

> >

> > I am a 39 year old positive male needs to know

> what

> > is considered " safe-

> > sex " and just what can I do safely if anything

> befoe

> > notifying my

> > partner about my status.

> >

>

>

> Mark

>

>

>

>

>

=== message truncated ===

Mark