Guest guest Posted May 25, 2006 Report Share Posted May 25, 2006 Hi, I am new to this group. I am happy to see that such group do exist. So here is my story: I had syncopes some times in my life. When I was at the hospital when I was 12, when I first smoke marijuana at 15 .... But 3 years ago, at 23, I had one at a restaurant with a friend. I already had social phobia, but that wasn't that bad then. Since that time I developed agorapobia and panic attack (fear to faint again) and TERRIBLE anxiety which made me lose my job that summer. My therapist gave me liquid prozac at the end of 2003, which did great except I took like 30 pounds and was well over 220 pounds then. I slowly took prozac back, from 5 ml. back to 2.5 ml. in 2004, back to 0.5 ml. in 2005, and I was at a mere " placebo " 0.2 ml. in the last months. However, things got bad. At the beginning of the year, I fainted while having a blood test, which isn't that rare, but still. And later, I met a girl, and at our first morning restaurant I had another syncope and went to the hospital. Since that time my life is hell and I fear I will faint everyday always. And more sad, I associated my girlfriend to this event so I fear to get out WITH HER... Even more difficult, I achieved to get a job (I start next week) with a good salary. A once-in-a-lifetime job. A job I just can't blow away. I was so stressed for the interview that I didn't sleep for 2 days. I felt like a dead man. So my therapist decided to give me Celexa at 10 mg. Since I do not tolerate anything (one glass of wine and I am quite drunk... maybe this is due to the fact that I lost 75 pounds in the last year with good alimentation and working), I decided to start at 5 mg. I had huge side effects the first days (I am at day 7 now), but now I am at 4.4 mg. and I can walk in the street without having that much difficulty. However, I feel like a zombie and I have trouble figuring how I will manage to sleep the night before I will start my job... And since my job is with public, I fear I will faint again... Well, that is one of my major problem right now. Anybody can help? The other problem is that my libido is gone. And I mean it. Gone. Not a thought, nothing. I had sex with my g/f last week and I felt nothing. Touching my sex was like touching my elbow. No sensation. I achieved to get an orgasm, but it was weak, and really I did not feel great. My g/f likes sex a lot (and I mean a lot) so I feel desesperation right now. Not to talk about the fact that I am in great shape right now and I fear to gain weight on this medication. So I feel like my choice is living in hell without been able to work or do anything because of panic and anxiety or living in hell on Celexa without any sex, any g/f (she will surely go away after some months), and walking like a dead zombie with no emotion. I know there must be lot of people telling their personal story, but I would really appreciate some advice. I feel so anxious right now about just thinking of working in the public and been unable to have a strong relationship with my g/f to compensate just does not help me. I must say I am happy with this girl. I was unsure of my identity/ orientation for some time and had experiences, but I like been with this girl. But sometimes I wonder if my syncope may be linked to somehow my body talking to me... about me not really been happy with her? I don't know... Please help me. Sorry for the bad english; this isn't my primary language. Thanks, Louis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 25, 2006 Report Share Posted May 25, 2006 Welcome Louis! First off, let's stay positive about things...CONGRATULATIONS on getting your " job of a lifetime " and making progress with your sexual orientation! At 26, you must have (and still may be) going through some confusing times. My experience is different from mosts simply because I was in chronic pain for over 7 years before several people (friends, family and medical) convinced me to start taking an anti-depressant. I took Celexa for 18 months and only just tapered off/down to 5mgs after taking 20mgs for all that time. I have to tell you that my testosterone was discovered to be (to say the least) extremely low from taking sustained released narcotic pain meds for 9+ years. Having my hormone level that low alone could have caused depression. But I don't care about the past now because, like you, I'm concerned about the present and future. I tapered down to 5mgs of Celexa in 4 weeks and TRIED to stop taking it for 4 days after only being on 5mgs for 15 days, but I got extremely dizzy on and off (mostly on) throughout the day and I simply got tired of it. Besides, with the testosterone replacement therapy (TRT), ALL of my sexual dysfunctions have disappearred! I believe with the combination of lowering the dosabe of the Celexa AND getting my hormone levels back up is what made all the difference in the world. I'm so serious! Due to the severe pain and failed surgeries I kept having to have, my sex drive (libido) plumetted to less than zero and just like you, I lost almost all sensation in and around my genitalia area. However, for the last 6 weeks since doing TRT and less Celexa, I cannot believe how I could have possibly " forgotten " how good sex feels!!!! My wife of 27 years is like your g/f and loves intimacy. The ONLY reason she has stayed with me through all of this is because when she married me, she was one of those rare people who took her " Vows of Marriage " completely seriously and loves me more today than she did even 15 years ago. I'm a VERY lucky man in THAT respect. However, now that I've been getting back to " normal " (for us) in the sexual arena, and I'm using my sex organs as often as they were designed to be used, my ejaculate has improved in appearance, volume and all around quality. I am ALSO having better quality erections and my wife even mentioned that I felt " thicker " to her. Well, I AM " thicker " because my erections have improved and aren't so " weak/lifeless " as they were for almost a decade. The two of us are like two kids in a candy store right now with our new found sexual intimacy (to use a metaphor...which I probably shouldn't have due to your limited ability to understand english. Suffice it to say that we are two very happy campers...er, no...that doesn't work either. OK. I'll be direct. We are as happy as we could possibly be at the way things have worked out sexually for me since reducing my Celexa from 20mgs to 5mgs and starting TRT. NOW, if I was still having sexual problems like I was even on 5mgs AND doing TRT, I cannot honestly say what I'd do. I would find it hard to be any kind of a husband to my wife, that's for sure. Especially since I'm applying for disability benefits on June 14th. I simply cannot work with this messed up back and the meds I need. It would sure be a different story for me then and I shudder to even think what I might attempt to do. SO...changing subjects... I would suggest asking your doctor about testing you for low testosterone OR switching you to a different anti-depressant that has less sexual side effects such as Wellbutrin (or so " they " say). Not only would it be a REAL mess for you to lose your dream job AND your g/f all because of Celexa. Louis? It took ME 4-5 WEEKS to get used to taking 10mgs of Celexa. When I told my doc I was " over the hump " he promptly told me to double the dosage to 20mgs!!! I couldn't believe it! Fortunately, it took a mere 2-3 weeks to adjust to THAT increase, but like I said, sexually I was worthless. If I GOT an erection, it wouldn't even last through our love making and i suddenly stopped being able to have an orgasm through sexual intercourse! Masturbation was the ONLY way I could (pardon the phrase) " pound it out of me " and even on those rare times I masturbated, like I said, everything was of poor quality and volume. Plus, I even began to feel " pain " in my abdomen during orgasm through masturbation. I can only suggest discussing this with your doctor. Hopfully you live in a society where patients CAN discuss sexual matters with doctors and I really hop he is receptive to your concerns about your new job, let alone your g/f and your's sexual life. I think that's it for now. Maybe somebody else will have something else for you to try. I bid you peace. Wayne > > Hi, > > I am new to this group. I am happy to see that such group do exist. > > So here is my story: I had syncopes some times in my life. When I > was at the hospital when I was 12, when I first smoke marijuana at 15 > ... But 3 years ago, at 23, I had one at a restaurant with a > friend. I already had social phobia, but that wasn't that bad then. > Since that time I developed agorapobia and panic attack (fear to faint > again) and TERRIBLE anxiety which made me lose my job that summer. > > My therapist gave me liquid prozac at the end of 2003, which did great > except I took like 30 pounds and was well over 220 pounds then. I > slowly took prozac back, from 5 ml. back to 2.5 ml. in 2004, back to > 0.5 ml. in 2005, and I was at a mere " placebo " 0.2 ml. in the last > months. > > However, things got bad. At the beginning of the year, I fainted > while having a blood test, which isn't that rare, but still. And > later, I met a girl, and at our first morning restaurant I had another > syncope and went to the hospital. Since that time my life is hell and > I fear I will faint everyday always. And more sad, I associated my > girlfriend to this event so I fear to get out WITH HER... > > Even more difficult, I achieved to get a job (I start next week) with > a good salary. A once-in-a-lifetime job. A job I just can't blow > away. I was so stressed for the interview that I didn't sleep for 2 > days. I felt like a dead man. > > So my therapist decided to give me Celexa at 10 mg. Since I do not > tolerate anything (one glass of wine and I am quite drunk... maybe > this is due to the fact that I lost 75 pounds in the last year with > good alimentation and working), I decided to start at 5 mg. I had > huge side effects the first days (I am at day 7 now), but now I am at > 4.4 mg. and I can walk in the street without having that much > difficulty. However, I feel like a zombie and I have trouble figuring > how I will manage to sleep the night before I will start my job... > And since my job is with public, I fear I will faint again... Well, > that is one of my major problem right now. Anybody can help? > > The other problem is that my libido is gone. And I mean it. Gone. > Not a thought, nothing. I had sex with my g/f last week and I felt > nothing. Touching my sex was like touching my elbow. No sensation. > I achieved to get an orgasm, but it was weak, and really I did not > feel great. My g/f likes sex a lot (and I mean a lot) so I feel > desesperation right now. Not to talk about the fact that I am in > great shape right now and I fear to gain weight on this medication. > > So I feel like my choice is living in hell without been able to work > or do anything because of panic and anxiety or living in hell on > Celexa without any sex, any g/f (she will surely go away after some > months), and walking like a dead zombie with no emotion. > > I know there must be lot of people telling their personal story, but I > would really appreciate some advice. I feel so anxious right now > about just thinking of working in the public and been unable to have a > strong relationship with my g/f to compensate just does not help me. > > I must say I am happy with this girl. I was unsure of my identity/ > orientation for some time and had experiences, but I like been with > this girl. But sometimes I wonder if my syncope may be linked to > somehow my body talking to me... about me not really been happy with > her? I don't know... > > Please help me. > > Sorry for the bad english; this isn't my primary language. > > Thanks, > > Louis > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 28, 2006 Report Share Posted May 28, 2006 Have you talked with you doctor about trying a benzodiazepine like valium to control your anxiety? If 5mg/day of celexa has completely wiped out you libido after only one week, it's probably not a good long-term treatment. ALso, consider intensive cognitive behavioral therapy. Vornan > > Hi, > > I am new to this group. I am happy to see that such group do exist. > > So here is my story: I had syncopes some times in my life. When I > was at the hospital when I was 12, when I first smoke marijuana at 15 > ... But 3 years ago, at 23, I had one at a restaurant with a > friend. I already had social phobia, but that wasn't that bad then. > Since that time I developed agorapobia and panic attack (fear to faint > again) and TERRIBLE anxiety which made me lose my job that summer. > > My therapist gave me liquid prozac at the end of 2003, which did great > except I took like 30 pounds and was well over 220 pounds then. I > slowly took prozac back, from 5 ml. back to 2.5 ml. in 2004, back to > 0.5 ml. in 2005, and I was at a mere " placebo " 0.2 ml. in the last > months. > > However, things got bad. At the beginning of the year, I fainted > while having a blood test, which isn't that rare, but still. And > later, I met a girl, and at our first morning restaurant I had another > syncope and went to the hospital. Since that time my life is hell and > I fear I will faint everyday always. And more sad, I associated my > girlfriend to this event so I fear to get out WITH HER... > > Even more difficult, I achieved to get a job (I start next week) with > a good salary. A once-in-a-lifetime job. A job I just can't blow > away. I was so stressed for the interview that I didn't sleep for 2 > days. I felt like a dead man. > > So my therapist decided to give me Celexa at 10 mg. Since I do not > tolerate anything (one glass of wine and I am quite drunk... maybe > this is due to the fact that I lost 75 pounds in the last year with > good alimentation and working), I decided to start at 5 mg. I had > huge side effects the first days (I am at day 7 now), but now I am at > 4.4 mg. and I can walk in the street without having that much > difficulty. However, I feel like a zombie and I have trouble figuring > how I will manage to sleep the night before I will start my job... > And since my job is with public, I fear I will faint again... Well, > that is one of my major problem right now. Anybody can help? > > The other problem is that my libido is gone. And I mean it. Gone. > Not a thought, nothing. I had sex with my g/f last week and I felt > nothing. Touching my sex was like touching my elbow. No sensation. > I achieved to get an orgasm, but it was weak, and really I did not > feel great. My g/f likes sex a lot (and I mean a lot) so I feel > desesperation right now. Not to talk about the fact that I am in > great shape right now and I fear to gain weight on this medication. > > So I feel like my choice is living in hell without been able to work > or do anything because of panic and anxiety or living in hell on > Celexa without any sex, any g/f (she will surely go away after some > months), and walking like a dead zombie with no emotion. > > I know there must be lot of people telling their personal story, but I > would really appreciate some advice. I feel so anxious right now > about just thinking of working in the public and been unable to have a > strong relationship with my g/f to compensate just does not help me. > > I must say I am happy with this girl. I was unsure of my identity/ > orientation for some time and had experiences, but I like been with > this girl. But sometimes I wonder if my syncope may be linked to > somehow my body talking to me... about me not really been happy with > her? I don't know... > > Please help me. > > Sorry for the bad english; this isn't my primary language. > > Thanks, > > Louis > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 28, 2006 Report Share Posted May 28, 2006 Thought I'd share this on the topic of anxiety: I just decided to try supplementing with magnesium. It's only been three days, but I found even after the first dose it had a significant effect on anxiety and now seems to be helping with depression as well. I'm on emsam as well, so it's possibly a synergy thing, but the effects of magnesium are very noticeable, no bad effects yet. If things continue like this, I would maybe even say its a good idea to try Mg in lieu of a benzo, or maybe even an antidepressant. Of course, I can't give medical advice, I'm just very surprised that the effects have been this nice so far. > > > > Hi, > > > > I am new to this group. I am happy to see that such group do > exist. > > > > So here is my story: I had syncopes some times in my life. When > I > > was at the hospital when I was 12, when I first smoke marijuana at > 15 > > ... But 3 years ago, at 23, I had one at a restaurant with a > > friend. I already had social phobia, but that wasn't that bad > then. > > Since that time I developed agorapobia and panic attack (fear to > faint > > again) and TERRIBLE anxiety which made me lose my job that summer. > > > > My therapist gave me liquid prozac at the end of 2003, which did > great > > except I took like 30 pounds and was well over 220 pounds then. I > > slowly took prozac back, from 5 ml. back to 2.5 ml. in 2004, back > to > > 0.5 ml. in 2005, and I was at a mere " placebo " 0.2 ml. in the last > > months. > > > > However, things got bad. At the beginning of the year, I fainted > > while having a blood test, which isn't that rare, but still. And > > later, I met a girl, and at our first morning restaurant I had > another > > syncope and went to the hospital. Since that time my life is hell > and > > I fear I will faint everyday always. And more sad, I associated > my > > girlfriend to this event so I fear to get out WITH HER... > > > > Even more difficult, I achieved to get a job (I start next week) > with > > a good salary. A once-in-a-lifetime job. A job I just can't blow > > away. I was so stressed for the interview that I didn't sleep for > 2 > > days. I felt like a dead man. > > > > So my therapist decided to give me Celexa at 10 mg. Since I do > not > > tolerate anything (one glass of wine and I am quite drunk... > maybe > > this is due to the fact that I lost 75 pounds in the last year > with > > good alimentation and working), I decided to start at 5 mg. I had > > huge side effects the first days (I am at day 7 now), but now I am > at > > 4.4 mg. and I can walk in the street without having that much > > difficulty. However, I feel like a zombie and I have trouble > figuring > > how I will manage to sleep the night before I will start my > job... > > And since my job is with public, I fear I will faint again... > Well, > > that is one of my major problem right now. Anybody can help? > > > > The other problem is that my libido is gone. And I mean it. > Gone. > > Not a thought, nothing. I had sex with my g/f last week and I > felt > > nothing. Touching my sex was like touching my elbow. No > sensation. > > I achieved to get an orgasm, but it was weak, and really I did not > > feel great. My g/f likes sex a lot (and I mean a lot) so I feel > > desesperation right now. Not to talk about the fact that I am in > > great shape right now and I fear to gain weight on this medication. > > > > So I feel like my choice is living in hell without been able to > work > > or do anything because of panic and anxiety or living in hell on > > Celexa without any sex, any g/f (she will surely go away after > some > > months), and walking like a dead zombie with no emotion. > > > > I know there must be lot of people telling their personal story, > but I > > would really appreciate some advice. I feel so anxious right now > > about just thinking of working in the public and been unable to > have a > > strong relationship with my g/f to compensate just does not help > me. > > > > I must say I am happy with this girl. I was unsure of my identity/ > > orientation for some time and had experiences, but I like been > with > > this girl. But sometimes I wonder if my syncope may be linked to > > somehow my body talking to me... about me not really been happy > with > > her? I don't know... > > > > Please help me. > > > > Sorry for the bad english; this isn't my primary language. > > > > Thanks, > > > > Louis > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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