New member

[Guest guest]

Misty,

Welcome to the group. Sounds like you have your hands full!

I'm in northern Connecticut. Can't help you with an OK referral, but

Connecticut funds town by town " Youth Service Bureaus " . Each town has

somewhat different resources and focus, but some provide family

therapy with therapists who specialize in working with kids ages 0-18

yrs. The services are free to town residents (at least in our town).

Not sure where exactly you'll be relocating (assume near the shore).

But if you google " ct youth service bureau " plus the name of your

town, you'll be able to see what services your town's YSB provides.

Some nearby towns may service surrounding towns. So you may want to

google more than one town (e.g. Groton, New London, etc).

Good luck!

>

> Hello,

> I just joined and wanted to introduce myself and ask for some help. 

  We still have a few months before we will be moving to

Connecticut.  Thanks!!

>

> Misty

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks , this is very helpful.  We will be in the Groton/New London

area.  I will definitely do what you suggested once we get there.  My husband is

already there, we're just waiting for our house to sell here in OK and then

we'll join him.

Thanks again,

Misty

 

________________________________

To:

Sent: Sunday, March 1, 2009 11:57:50 AM

Subject: Re: New member

Misty,

Welcome to the group. Sounds like you have your hands full!

I'm in northern Connecticut. Can't help you with an OK referral, but

Connecticut funds town by town " Youth Service Bureaus " . Each town has

somewhat different resources and focus, but some provide family

therapy with therapists who specialize in working with kids ages 0-18

yrs. The services are free to town residents (at least in our town).

Not sure where exactly you'll be relocating (assume near the shore).

But if you google " ct youth service bureau " plus the name of your

town, you'll be able to see what services your town's YSB provides.

Some nearby towns may service surrounding towns. So you may want to

google more than one town (e.g. Groton, New London, etc).

Good luck!

>

> Hello,

> I just joined and wanted to introduce myself and ask for some help. 

  We still have a few months before we will be moving to

Connecticut.   Thanks!!

>

> Misty

>

[Guest guest]

Misty,

You will be moving close to me. About a  45-50 minute drive!!!

I thought I had my hands full with two kids with OCD and othe diagnosis!

Welcome to the group. I'm glad you joined. I think you'll find this group very

helpful and supportive

Hugs

Judy

________________________________

To:

Sent: Sunday, March 1, 2009 1:29:26 PM

Subject: Re: Re: New member

Thanks , this is very helpful.  We will be in the Groton/New London

area.  I will definitely do what you suggested once we get there.  My husband is

already there, we're just waiting for our house to sell here in OK and then

we'll join him.

Thanks again,

Misty

 

____________ _________ _________ __

From: lmatheos <lmatheosyahoo (DOT) com>

To: @ yahoogroups. com

Sent: Sunday, March 1, 2009 11:57:50 AM

Subject: Re: New member

Misty,

Welcome to the group. Sounds like you have your hands full!

I'm in northern Connecticut. Can't help you with an OK referral, but

Connecticut funds town by town " Youth Service Bureaus " . Each town has

somewhat different resources and focus, but some provide family

therapy with therapists who specialize in working with kids ages 0-18

yrs. The services are free to town residents (at least in our town).

Not sure where exactly you'll be relocating (assume near the shore).

But if you google " ct youth service bureau " plus the name of your

town, you'll be able to see what services your town's YSB provides.

Some nearby towns may service surrounding towns. So you may want to

google more than one town (e.g. Groton, New London, etc).

Good luck!

>

> Hello,

> I just joined and wanted to introduce myself and ask for some help. 

  We still have a few months before we will be moving to

Connecticut.   Thanks!!

>

> Misty

>

[Guest guest]

Misty,

Have you read any books on children with OCD? There are a few out there that are

very helpful.

" Freeing your child from OCD " by Tamar Chansky is good. Another really good one

in my opinion is " What to do when your child has OCD, " by Aureen Pinto Wagner.

Check into the files sections of this group and you will find tons of

information on so many topics relating to OCD.

Your doctor will probably want to start with CBT therapy and if necessary add an

SSRI.

Try to take it one step at a time, especailly having more than one child with

this.

Keep us all posted and we are all her to help.

Hugs

Judy OCD and panic disorder

Mom to Brittany 13-no diagnosis

            12, OCD, bipolar and PDD-NOS

             iel 7, OCD, bipolar(possible Aspergers-- going into partial

hospitalization and it will be determined)

[Guest guest]

Welcome, Misty. You sure have your hands full. We are a family that

has one son with OCD and GAD (generalized anxiety disorder). I know

how stressful that has been, so can only imagine the stress you are

under.

Our son's therapist thinks our son might also have mild Aspergers

(probably not enough to fit the criteria for a diagnosis though),

which I've often suspected. He takes things very literally, and has

been hyper focused on certain things throughout his life, which seem

to be characteristics of it. As you probably know, despite it being

called OCD, they do not get obsessed on things they like, so that made

me wonder, with him, if he could also be dealing with Aspergers. With

OCD their obsessions are on things that are disturbing to them.

There's also been differing opinions about whether he might have mild

TS. It's never been completely determined if his tics are from his

OCD or possible mild TS.

We were in a similar situation with insurance benefits and a qualified

therapist. Anyone (and there are only a few in the state we live in)

who specialized in treating OCD, who knew how to use CBT/ERP

(cognitive behavioral therapy / exposure and response prevention)

correctly and successfully, AND worked with kids, did not take

insurance. So, our insurance would cover them, but only after we met

a $1500 deductible. After that was met, they would only pay about

half of the cost. That ate up our savings pretty fast. Eventually,

though, the psychologist's office started taking one insurance

company, (not ours). That opened the door for us to go to our

insurance company and negotiate a " single case agreement " . Of course,

the therapist had to agree to that too, since he would take less pay.

We had to prove that all the in-network doctor's did not supply the

correct type of therapy. Many used CBT, but not specifically to OCD,

and none had a clue what ERP was. That is huge! They need to know

and understand how to use ERP, so they can guide your child through it

to overcome their obsessions and compulsions.

I would disagree that your daughter is too young for therapy for her

OCD. All the books I read about OCD, says they are not too young for

treatment. In fact, doing the correct therapy while they are young

can be best for most, before the rituals become ingrained and harder

to overcome as they age and deal with them year after year.

Our son, (now 17), was a lot like your 8 year old. He had symmetry

and numbers going through his head. He was always evening things up.

He did the same as you mentioned where if he bumped one side, he

would have to bump the other, before he could move on. He had some

compulsions that caused anxiety, yet some that just needed to " feel

right " before he could move on. The therapy helped him move past

both, but he overcame the ones that needed to " feel right " the easiest

and fastest.

We've also been through the hand washing stuff. And our son had

horrible bathroom issues at one point too. We've found that his OCD

has morphed over the years. Some things would come and go, others

would leave and never return, yet even other things would crop up

anew, over the years. Even as he has worked through many things while

working with his therapist, new things would come up. We found it

would often be the same obsession manifesting itself in a new way, so

they would have to fashion a new way of confronting it to get it to

calm back down.

I can tell you that game playing and " talk " therapy does not work with

OCD. We've been there. For years we went that route, not knowing any

better, and trusting doctors who said they knew how to treat OCD. We

wasted a lot of time and money. Only CBT/ERP has been proven to help

OCD. Once we found a therapist who used it successfully, the rituals

started falling away, after years of dealing with them.

We are also a homeschooling family, which has been a huge blessing

over the years of dealing with OCD.

The medication which is used to help with OCD, is the SSRI

antidepressants (Zoloft, Prozac, Celexa, Luvox, etc). I understand

your husband's reluctance to use them. I hated the idea of it too,

but our son got to the point of not being able to function and had to

take medication to be able to function. The first line of treatment

is the correct therapy though. And if it is done correctly, it can be

as effective as medication, without the side effects. It can make

positive, permanent changes to the brain, as they retrain their brain.

For some, however, the anxiety they have with the OCD is so high,

they are unable to confront the OCD using ERP, which is needed to

improve. So the medication can bring the anxiety down to a level

where they can do the work needed.

Our experience is that the medication brought the anxiety down, and

even quieted some of the thoughts associated with our son's OCD, but

he still did many rituals, which the therapy took care of.

You can do CBT/ERP at home, and some do who do not have a good

therapist available to them. There are some great books that can walk

you through it. They are . . .

Talking Back to OCD by March

Helping Your Child With Ocd: A Workbook for Parents of Children With

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder by Lee, Ph.D. Fitzgibbons and Cherry

Pedrick

Another couple of books that we loved that helped us to understand OCD

better are. . .

What to do when your Child has Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:

Strategies and Solutions by Aureen Pinto Wagner Ph.D.

Freeing Your Child from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder: A Powerful,

Practical Program for Parents of Children and Adolescents by Tamar E.

Chansky

If you decide to confront the OCD, using ERP, there are a couple

important things to know. First, the child has to be willing to do

it. In order for it to work, they need to be on board, mentally, and

willing to do the work required, otherwise it can become a battle and

make things worse. If they are not willing to fight the OCD, they

will instead fight you to hold on to the OCD. That has been our

experience. Secondly, you need to have them make a hierarchy list,

where they list all the things they are dealing with OCD-wise. They

rate them from least bothersome to most worrisome. They start working

on the easiest thing, and work their way up from there. They gain

confidence as they go, which will give them the courage to take on the

harder stuff later. For most, if they try to dive into the harder

stuff first (which tends to be the most disruptive in their lives), it

can be too overwhelming and it will cause them such anxiety that they

will cease to not try. They will have some discomfort, most likely,

regardless, as they use ERP, but if they choose the pace to where they

are challenged, but not overwhelmed, they should be able to overcome

things.

In the mean time, while you are working up the list, you sometimes

have to just accommodate some of the compulsive behaviors, until they

get to that point of being able to work on them.

Some places to try, to find a therpist is the ocfoundation.org. They

have doctors listed by state there. You will have to call and confirm

they use CBT/ERP though. Just because they are listed there, does not

mean they are good. But, there are some good docs there too. Also

you can try anxiety clinics. Since OCD is an anxiety disorder, they

often know and understand how to treat it correctly. When we were

searching, I also called and emailed OCD groups within our state and

asked if they could recommend anyone. They were very helpful.

Glad you found us and are here, Misty. If you have any questions,

jump right in. Many in here are glad to share what has worked for

them. )

BJ

>

> Hello,

> I just joined and wanted to introduce myself and ask for some help. 

My name is Misty and I have four children.  My 11yo daughter has

Asperger's, mild Tourette's, OCD, Executive Dysfunction, Synesthesia,

and Hyperlexia.  My 8yo daughter is in the process of being evaluated

by a psychologist, but I predict either Asperger's or PDD-NOS, along

with OCD.  My 5yo daughter has a diagnosis of Asperger's, ADHD, OCD,

and Nonverbal Learning Disorder.  My 2yo son is also on the spectrum

and is being evaluated by a psychologist.  I'm sure he is probably

Aspie as well.  We just learned that our family is affected by all of

this last year, but my oldest has had her TS & OCD dx since she was 8. 

>

> As for why I've joined this group.. I am getting quite desperate. 

My oldest daughter was referred to a psychologist again last year (a

new one since we've moved since her original dx) to help her with her

OCD.  But he informed us that he doesn't work with children and all he

could do was evaluate her and confirm the dx.  So he gave her the

whole work-up and then we were left at square one again... a dx, but

no help treating it.  Our insurance company is very picky about who we

see, so I can't just take my daughters to anyone.  I have to go to

someone on their list.

>

> As for their symptoms...  My 11yo is a hoarder (she even collects

things like milk caps and toilet paper tubes).  She cannot throw

anything away.  She also has fear of contamination from food and

germs.  She cannot do dishes because she cannot touch other people's

plates.. She cannot touch tissues (even clean ones), and she cannot

sit in another person's chair because " they eat weird things " .  Weird

to her is a hamburger or hotdog or mashed potatoes.  She has severe

food texture sensitivity and won't eat meat or anything mushy.  And

she can't even sit next to someone who is eating these things.  She

also spits constantly.  Even in the house.  I am not sure if this is

OCD or a tic, but I feel that it is from her OCD.  She started out by

only spitting outside.  She did this for about two years.  She cannot

swallow her saliva and feels she needs to spit it out.  I think she

felt like her saliva was too dirty to swallow when she was

> outside.  In the past 3 months, she has started spitting in the

house as well.  She spits everywhere, and I just cannot take it

anymore.  She tries to hide it and she denies that it was her when I

make her clean it up.  Then she says she can't help it.  She says it

is a tic, but I'm not convinced.  I think it's OCD.  I know spitting

can be a tic, but this just feels like OCD to me because I feel there

is an obsession (dirty thoughts) before the compulsion (spitting). 

What do you think?

>

> My 8yo daughter has issues with symmetry and numbers... If she bumps

her leg on the couch, she has to go back and bump the other leg in the

same way.  If she bites the inside of her cheek, she has to bite the

other side the same way.  She has to walk an even number of steps when

crossing our living room floor.  If she counts an odd number, she has

to go back and take an extra step to make it an even number.  She

started doing somersaults across the floor to avoid counting steps,

but then she started counting somersaults as well. 

>

> My 5yo daughter does tapping/touching rituals.  She has to tap

things and touch things symmetrically.  If she turns a light switch

off, she has to tap it with both hands.  If she makes contact with

anything, she has to touch it with both hands, usually tapping twice. 

She was even doing her elbows and bottoms of her feet for a while.  So

if she bumped a door frame or something, she had to stop and tap it

with both hands, both elbows, and then both bottoms of her feet.  If

she didn't get it right, she had to redo it.  She usually touches/taps

with the backs of her hands because she also has a severe fear of

germs.  She washes her hands constantly.  I've even seen her get out

of bed in the morning and walk straight to the sink to wash her

hands.  We constantly put lotion on her hands, but they are still so

dried out.  They feel like an alligator.  She was referred to a

counselor to help her with her OCD, but he told me that CBT would not help

> her at this age.  He said he could play some games with her and

talk with her, but he wanted me to step out of the room while he did

this.  I did not feel comfortable with this since she is so young. 

The counselor and I both agreed that the counseling probably would not

help much anyway since she is so young and in her own world so much

(she talks AT us, but doesn't really talk WITH us much).  So we

stopped going.  She does go to OT once a week, but they work on fine

motor skills mostly, along with some sensory therapy.

>

> I have been considering medications for a while now, but my husband

has strong opinions against medicating children and hasn't really

taken the time to educate himself on this issue.  He is a very busy

Naval Officer, in charge of many people on a submarine, so he doesn't

really have the time.  We are a homeschooling family so these issues

don't really spill over into a classroom setting.  But they are hard

to live with at home and I'm sure my daughters would like some

relief.  What would the medication of choice be?  I'm tired of going

to dr. after dr. only to be told they cannot help us. 

>

> My husband and I both have some sort of OCD.  He has OCPD and is an

extreme perfectionist in every way.  He cannot even stand to see a

crooked staple.  I have " pure obsessional " OCD where I obsess over

conversations in my mind, even uneventful conversations.  I replay

them over and over and over again.  I have Asperger's so I do this to

reassure myself that my Asperger's didn't " show " or that I didn't take

something too literally, or say the wrong thing, ramble too much,

etc.  My husband has a few Aspie traits as well, but not as much as I

do.  I guess this is why it's all so strong in our children.

>

> Any advice concerning medications or what I can be doing at home

with my girls to help them overcome their OCD would be greatly

appreciated.  Also, we live near Oklahoma City right now (moving to CT

soon though) so any doctor recommendations for this area would be

wonderful.  Specifically psychiatry so we can consider meds, but also

any psychologist who will work with children would also be great.  We

still have a few months before we will be moving to Connecticut.  Thanks!!

>

> Misty

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Judy.. Right now I'm reading " Helping Your Child with OCD " .  I will look

into the other books you mentioned.  I also have anxiety and panic disorder and

take SSRI's (Paxil).  Thanks for your support.  Maybe we'll get the chance to

meet after we get moved.

Misty

[Guest guest]

Hi Misty, welcome! Glad you found our group, it's been my best

support for the years! I'm a single mom, 3 sons, all pretty much

grown now I guess. One son, , has OCD, dysgraphia and

HFA/Aspergers diagnoses. His OCD began in 6th grade, had his

tendencies before that (tracing over letters, reassurance questions,

etc.). He's 20 now. Other sons are ages 20 (twin, not identical)

and oldest soon will be 24. I joined this group not long after

's OCD began.

also used to hoard but it wasn't anything particular. He

just wanted to (or HAD to) save all his school papers or other that

he would get; would save candy, not eat it but no one else could have

it either...what else? Can't recall now but he still has problems

getting rid of papers he " has " to save. He also had food

sensitivities like with texture, which included meat. Really had a

limited diet when younger, could count on both hands the foods he

would eat, not many. Happily, not a problem at all these days. His

motor skills were behind too, awkward, etc.

His OCD began with lots of compulsions, touching, rituals...a feeling

that something bad would happen to him if he didn't do them plus he

had to get that " just right " feeling, which could have him repeating

or touching for hours sometimes! Fast forward to the present, his

OCD is mainly bad thoughts, scrupulosity/religion related. Though he

always had a " touch " of scrupe before but not a problem (he was the

kid I always asked what happened to get at the truth of a situation

with my 3 sons!).

Spitting -- would your daughter keep " something not germy " with her

to spit into, throw away? You mentioned no tissues, are wash cloths

something (not to throw away) she can handle? My 3 sons each went

thru a spitting stage, drove me crazy. Not so much spitting in the

house but all the time outside (something got in my mouth...can't

swallow it).

Meds - we've only used one prescription and that was Celexa. I will

add that a doctor mentioned to me that it had worked well for those

with Aspergers and OCD, so just saying that might be the first you

try if you pursue them. Worked well for except for some

tiredness, he began to nap in the afternoons. Initially also had

trouble getting to sleep but that passed. The medications for OCD

affect everyone differently so unfortunately it can be trial & error

to find the *one* that works well with no unwanted side effects.

Before trying Celexa we used inositol powder (in B vitamin family)

and that worked for him for quite a while. Again, no one

med/alternative works for everyone, so sort of 50/50 chance when you

try something. Tried inositol again this past year, no help at all.

Some others have felt it helped with OCD, some no effect at all.

We've had some recent posts on the subject of inositol powder, you

can look back at the info.

>

> Hello,

> I just joined and wanted to introduce myself and ask for some

help.  My name is Misty and I have four children.  My 11yo daughter

has Asperger's, mild Tourette's, OCD, Executive Dysfunction,

Synesthesia, and Hyperlexia.  My 8yo daughter is in the process of

being evaluated by a psychologist, but I predict either Asperger's or

PDD-NOS, along with OCD.  My 5yo daughter has a diagnosis of

Asperger's, ADHD, OCD, and Nonverbal Learning Disorder.  My 2yo son

is also on the spectrum and is being evaluated by a psychologist. 

[Guest guest]

That would be very nice!!! It sounds like we have alot in common!!

Hugs

judy

________________________________

To:

Sent: Sunday, March 1, 2009 3:11:08 PM

Subject: Re: New member

Thanks Judy.. Right now I'm reading " Helping Your Child with OCD " .  I will look

into the other books you mentioned.  I also have anxiety and panic disorder and

take SSRI's (Paxil).  Thanks for your support.  Maybe we'll get the chance to

meet after we get moved.

Misty

[Guest guest]

Hi again, Misty. ) Our son has vocal tics. They come and go (been

here much more in the last couple of years though), and have been

around, on and off, for years.

From what I've read about TS, I suspect my husband has it mildly too.

And I'm sure Josh's grandpa does with eye blinking, shoulder

shrugging, and face grimacing.

I'm trying to remember if I knew that about Aspergers (tics). lol My

brain is not firing on all pistons today, been fighting a migraine all

day here. So, I'm glad what I said earlier to you made sense. <grin>

It gets confusing when you are dealing with more than one thing, huh.

Trying to separate what can be attributed to what is even hard for

the experts, at times it seems.

Josh isn't as hyper focused as he was when he was young. Do you know

if it can get better with age? But. . .Omygosh, we went through

things where he was so obsessed that it was all he talked about.

Toilets and vacuums were two biggies. He was spelling vacuum names

when he was 3. He would collect pictures and would even draw pictures

of them over and over. If we went in a store we would have to go to

the vacuum department so he could check them out. But, if one got

turned on, he would freak. He was also fearful of toilets being

flushed, but if they weren't being flushed, he was overly interested,

once again drawing pictures and spelling the brand names. I don't

know it if was his way of coping, or Aspergers. Can they be

obessessed, yet also fearful of a component of the item with

Aspergers? Just curious. He didn't seem disturbed by his obsessive

thoughts, but rather seemed to like them despite being freaked out

about certain parts of it. I know with his OCD and GAD thoughts, he

would have done anything to avoid them, they were so upsetting to him.

He takes things very literally, at times, yet he also seems to pick up

on social cues. He gets " the joke " , and is even usually the one to

make a quip and who has people laughing. He doesn't have any problems

with friendships and even has quite a few friends. He seems to be

able to talk of other things, but if you get on something he is hyper

interested in, then he can talk you under the table. He sometimes

seems like to me that he is talking a bit monotone, yet other times

not. I've even wondered if the literalness is something OCD is

causing him to do, by breaking it all down and analyzing it. So, I'm

not sure what to think.

He's been obsessed with computers and programming since he was 7. And

he is currently taking a computer programming class where his teacher

thinks he is awesome. lol Let's just say he is really excelling.

lol Yet, he doesn't go on an on about it when talking to others,

probably because he gets that nobody understands him, since he is

literally speaking another language (the language of technology).

With Aspergers are they able to control their need to talk about it,

nonstop? I have a nephew that I really suspect has it, but has only

been diagnosed with OCD. He seems to be unable to control his need to

talk about what he is currently obsessed with. He, unfortunately, has

no friends, other than our son, because he goes on about his

obsessions. It's heartbreaking.

Okay, sorry for all the questions, just curious. . .Although, I'm not

aware of anything that can be done to improve things for Aspergers, so

would it just be they would have another label? <sigh>

Thank you, also, for the info, Misty. )

BJ

>

> Thank you, BJ...  This is all so very helpful.  I have not read a

lot about OCD (been busy with reading about Asperger's, etc.) but I am

reading Helping Your Child with OCD right now.  I'm learning quite a

lot from it.  I am going to do some more searching for a therapist who

can help my girls...  I'll look for some local groups and try to find

a professional that way and I'll also look at the website you mentioned. 

>

> About the Asperger's...  You explained the difference in Aspie

obsessiveness vs. OCD quite well...We recently had this discussion on

another group.  Also, about the tics... Many Asperger kids have tics,

but they are usually somewhat mild.  Some qualify for the Tourette's

diagnosis, like my 1st daughter.  My 2nd daughter has a motor tic, but

I don't think she would qualify for TS at this point because she

doesn't have vocal tics.  I would look into Asperger's a little more

for your son.  The anxiety and obsessive, hyperfocus nature is usually

a strong indicator.  How is he with friendships?  My oldest daughter

makes friends quite well, but she tends to talk about her obsessions

too much.  I think if she went to public school, she would have a

pretty hard time with friendships.  She only sees her homeschooled

friends about once a week.

>

> Thanks again for all the wonderful info and support.  I'm going to

save your e-mail and refer back to it.

>

> Misty

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the welcome and advice, Chris.  I think I know you from somewhere...

Is it the WTM boards or one of the Asperger groups?

Thanks again,

Misty

________________________________

To:

Sent: Sunday, March 1, 2009 3:05:51 PM

Subject: Re: New member

Hi Misty, welcome! Glad you found our group, it's been my best

support for the years! I'm a single mom, 3 sons, all pretty much

grown now I guess. One son, , has OCD, dysgraphia and

HFA/Aspergers diagnoses. His OCD began in 6th grade, had his

tendencies before that (tracing over letters, reassurance questions,

etc.). He's 20 now. Other sons are ages 20 (twin, not identical)

and oldest soon will be 24. I joined this group not long after

's OCD began.

also used to hoard but it wasn't anything particular. He

just wanted to (or HAD to) save all his school papers or other that

he would get; would save candy, not eat it but no one else could have

it either...what else? Can't recall now but he still has problems

getting rid of papers he " has " to save. He also had food

sensitivities like with texture, which included meat. Really had a

limited diet when younger, could count on both hands the foods he

would eat, not many. Happily, not a problem at all these days. His

motor skills were behind too, awkward, etc.

His OCD began with lots of compulsions, touching, rituals...a feeling

that something bad would happen to him if he didn't do them plus he

had to get that " just right " feeling, which could have him repeating

or touching for hours sometimes! Fast forward to the present, his

OCD is mainly bad thoughts, scrupulosity/ religion related. Though he

always had a " touch " of scrupe before but not a problem (he was the

kid I always asked what happened to get at the truth of a situation

with my 3 sons!).

Spitting -- would your daughter keep " something not germy " with her

to spit into, throw away? You mentioned no tissues, are wash cloths

something (not to throw away) she can handle? My 3 sons each went

thru a spitting stage, drove me crazy. Not so much spitting in the

house but all the time outside (something got in my mouth...can' t

swallow it).

Meds - we've only used one prescription and that was Celexa. I will

add that a doctor mentioned to me that it had worked well for those

with Aspergers and OCD, so just saying that might be the first you

try if you pursue them. Worked well for except for some

tiredness, he began to nap in the afternoons. Initially also had

trouble getting to sleep but that passed. The medications for OCD

affect everyone differently so unfortunately it can be trial & error

to find the *one* that works well with no unwanted side effects.

Before trying Celexa we used inositol powder (in B vitamin family)

and that worked for him for quite a while. Again, no one

med/alternative works for everyone, so sort of 50/50 chance when you

try something. Tried inositol again this past year, no help at all.

Some others have felt it helped with OCD, some no effect at all.

We've had some recent posts on the subject of inositol powder, you

can look back at the info.

>

> Hello,

> I just joined and wanted to introduce myself and ask for some

help.  My name is Misty and I have four children.  My 11yo daughter

has Asperger's, mild Tourette's, OCD, Executive Dysfunction,

Synesthesia, and Hyperlexia.  My 8yo daughter is in the process of

being evaluated by a psychologist, but I predict either Asperger's or

PDD-NOS, along with OCD.  My 5yo daughter has a diagnosis of

Asperger's, ADHD, OCD, and Nonverbal Learning Disorder.  My 2yo son

is also on the spectrum and is being evaluated by a psychologist. 

[Guest guest]

Probably either the Aspergers Support or the Shadow Syndrome groups, tend to be

in those two the most, after this group.

>

> Thanks for the welcome and advice, Chris.  I think I know you from

somewhere... Is it the WTM boards or one of the Asperger groups?

>

> Thanks again,

> Misty

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hello everyone,

I wanted to introduce myself to the group. I just took the IBLCE exam for the first time and am crossing my fingers for the results. I hope to go into private practice soon after. I have a 2.5 year old son and am pregnant with my second.

I look forward to reading your posts and joining in on your discussions.

Donna Cohen

Santa Clarita, CA

[Guest guest]

Welcome to the group! My name is April and I have a 15 yr old dx with Aspergers since 4 month's old. He has struggled with a lot of things including still not being able to tie his shoes,remembering the simple things in fact just this week at church camp he had to take a swim test I as his mom knows he can swim but instead of getting a green necklace he got a yellow (only being able to swim to his armpits) I can't see him moving out on his own but to a group home and this is something iam not accepting right now. So he will be with me forever and iam ok with this but

[Guest guest]

Thank you April! I see in your signature that you have three kids with various struggles. Is that overwhelming? I have two with struggles, one diagnosed and one not yet.

Dee

Welcome to the group! My name is April and I have a 15 yr old dx with Aspergers since 4 month's old. He has struggled with a lot of things including still not being able to tie his shoes,remembering the simple things in fact just this week at church camp he had to take a swim test I as his mom knows he can swim but instead of getting a green necklace he got a yellow (only being able to swim to his armpits) I can't see him moving out on his own but to a group home and this is something iam not accepting right now. So he will be with me forever and iam ok with this but my family (who dont know him that well says iam babying him so if you have any questions feel free to ask away!

April mom of my 3 great kids!Tyler (16) ADHD & Bipolar (15) AspergersHunter (13) Speech Delayed

[Guest guest]

Hello Dee, my name is Carolyn and I have been writing to this group off and on for a long time. I have a son Marty who is 47 now who has had severe autism, learning problems, and seizures all of his life. I have always taken care of him at home and he has had and does have many challenges; such as he is non verbal, on a feeding tube, wears depends, actually doesn’t do anything for himself, cannot even get up and walk unassisted by me. When he was younger though he was hyperactive, went to school and ran all over the place, and it was a struggle to keep him out of trouble. He has had lots of injuries from falling down and seizures. He used to wear a helmet all day he had so many seizures. To look at his face now, he appears very handsome and alert to everybody and everything, just has his own way of communicating, he always did and has been misunderstood most all of his life. I was the only one who finally figured out he wasn’t a “bad†kid, he just could not communicate like others. All they did when he was younger was have him on programs to trick him to comply, and he overcame them all and kept his independence. They were bullies and he knew it and was very hard to deal with for about ten years because he became like them.

Once I got on his side he settled down, and things have run smoothly pretty much ever since.

I could talk all day about my son, as you can imagine, but what I really wanted to respond to you about was about your daughter le who is 9. She sounds a lot like my grandson Lucas who will be 8 next Friday. He was diagnosed last year by a developmental pediatrician with “mild†autism, although his mother and I believe he has Aspergers. The doctor did not say that though. He’s had a lot of problems at school with anti social type of behavior, and doesn’t like to do most of his school work. He got a special IEP last year after the diagnosis and it has helped him quite a bit finally, such as he goes to small groups for math and reading, etc. Also his mother picks him up every day 45 min. early because he said school was just “too long†and it has helped him a lot.

He is very intelligent and talks fluently, loves movies and mimics the characters and dialogue from them, something his first and second grade teachers did not understand at all. Plus his mom lets him watch far out King type movies, etc. as she is a movie nut and sees nothing wrong with it. His latest craze has been Andre LaNoch out out Storm of the Century. Andre is the devil so he acts like he is the devil with the cane with the wolf on it that kills people, da, da, da. For days he would quote: “Give me what I want and I’ll leave you alone.†Wrote it page after page at school! Well that was Andre in the movie wanting one of the children to train to be like him. Oh it is sick. He almost got expelled from school last spring because he got too carried away acting like this guy and when I reprimanded him he said, “For pete’s sake this it is fantasy.†And I said, “You getting expelled because you are threating to kill somebody is real!†And that seemed to click with him and he toned it down.

Anyway a lot of times we have to to ignore people who don’t understand what is going on, but this is really hard. Such as my grandson when he is upset at me is very disrespectful to me calls me “old lady†in a very hostile tone, and he even got so mad at me the other day he called me a “stupid bitch.†He was very frustrated because I was insisting he would learn to ride a bike. Took the training wheels off and was pushing him on our yard. He is a very strong boy and I know he can do it because he does not give up no matter how mad he gets. He has gone with me several times on a bike with training wheels and I figured he was ready to go without them. When we went with training wheels he would yell and cuss all of the way, and people turned their heads to stare, but by golly he is getting it. Every once in awhile he does throw it down and kick it, and says really quaint things like, “I want this bike to go to hell!†This is how he talks.

I must admit I smacked him on the butt real hard out in the back yard when he called me a “stupid bitch,†and said, “Lucas you can not EVER call me that!†And he cried a little and said he was sorry and hugged me. He knows when he goes too far with me, and there are some places where I must draw the line for him.

I work on him all the time to build his confidence but this is tricky because when he finally does well for example on the bike he is screaming at me, “Stop talking stop talking!†But I am trying to TEACH him what to do. Say, “Good job now you’re getting it.†He likes the praise but he hates the praise.

I think I am good with him because I am so used to such behavior from my own son who went through years and years of it. Looking back it seems to me that what I proved to my son was my love for him would pay off, he could never make me NOT love him.

So this is what I am doing with my grandson. Have had to do it with my other “normal†children in many ways during their life times also. Two of mine were alcoholics for many years. Their dad died of it. I could get real deep here and bring in my faith in God but won’t right now, maybe later.

Just saying it is tough being a parent, or grandparent, but if we are ruled by what is best for the kid and ruled by LOVE we can conquer most anything. I taught the boy to swim and he used to be drug kicking and screaming into the swimming pool he was so afraid of the water. Now he swims like Phelps, only has not learned to breath, just goes as far as he can and stops. He’ll get it though in time.

Pees in the men’s urinal, and was desperately afraid of bathrooms and toilets for a long time.

Guess this is long enough, am cooped up in the house today!

Carolyn in Springfield, Oregon, nice and cool here hasn’t been hot yet all summer!

From: Dee Hawkins

Sent: Friday, July 20, 2012 8:10 AM

To: mailto:autism-aspergers

Subject: new member

I’m a new member too. My name is DaNeen Hawkins and I have a 9 year old daughter who was recently diagnosed with Asperger’s and ADHD (le). It has been a rough journey of friends and relatives treating her harshly for things she struggles with (she still can’t ride a bike, open a bottled water, tie her shoe...) and blaming me for her symptoms! Even my husband blames me for her symptoms and will verbalize that to the professionals! “She doesn’t have Asperger’s (to the ones who diagnosed her) – it’s my wife’s fault she acts the way she does.†He even said, “There’s a big difference between Asperger’s and a spoiled brat and what we have here is a spoiled brat!†So I’m joining the group to regain some sanity.

[Guest guest]

Dee yes it's a struggle on a daily basis. Most times it's my bipolar son that gives me the most trouble. just tonight he shoved me and he walked out the door. He did come back after he calmed down and apologized but he also strikes his brothers. What struggles are you dealing with?? anything i can help with let me know

April mom of my 3 great kids!Tyler (16) ADHD & Bipolar (15) AspergersHunter (13) Speech Delayed

[Guest guest]

Carolyn,

You are a saint to take care of your son and keep up your spirits! It sounds like you’re making a positive impact on your grandson’s life as well and he needs a grandma!

Bless you,

Dee