Re: saturday at my house...long

[Guest guest]

Maralee {{{{{BIG HUGS}}}}} to start off with. I did make it to the end. almost 2 years ogo now Jabari (8yrs old ODD) went through his tirade. I thought he was going to hurt himself or us. I had just gotten out of the hospital and he decided that he was not going to do what we wanted him to do. He usually is great but when he feels like he is being treated like a "child" or is being treated unfairly he bucks, kicks, stomps rants and raves. Many times he has damaged things at home. What I do (after he calms down and goes to bed for the night) is take some ME time. wether it is reading a book, watching a good tear jerking movie (in these times I feel like crying and the movie gives me reason to). Or I take a nice long bath (CALGON Take Me Away bath). I know Jabari is not the same age as Beth. But, I do understand your frustration and concern. After all they are our kids. We would die for them if they could just realize it during those times of meltdowns. Just know that you are not alone. Sending prayers your way.....

Dawn .....Mom of 4

dstar39@...

Why Wait? Move to EarthLink.

saturday at my house...long

Had an exciting, interesting, physically and emotionally exhausting day.

My son and his wife moved into their new house...which happens to be 3 houses from us. We helped them and are so happy to have them on the block! So I've been cleaning cupboards, etc., all day. That's the exciting physical part.

Beth (15, AS, social anxiety, possibly bipolar) had her best friend overnight (who seems to almost live with us on weekends) and they had a good day with Beth's mentor, going to the mall, etc. Beth seemed happy. In fact, she and her friends were baking banana bars at our house and came running over...they needed more flour and we were out. My DIL's flour was buried in boxes somewhere so Beth decided, on her own, that she and her friend would ask our next door neighbor for some flour! (We aren't even that close to these neighbors.) She ran out of the house and I said "Who IS that girl?" My son looked at me and said the same thing! Beth has social anxiety and that action just did NOT match up. But that's what she did...she borrowed some flour from the neighbor. (!)

Later, I volunteered to run pick up pizzas for my son and DIL and friends who were helping. Beth and her friend came back over to the new house because they were 'bored." So I asked them if they wanted to go with me to get the pizzas. They did...and it became evident that beth was not having a good day by this time. They went into blockbuster to get a video but when i came to get them (after I picked up the pizzas) Beth hadn't found one and gave me the finger, frankly....and then stormed out of the store. And for the next hour and a half, wouldn't get in the car! I and her friend tried to calm her, tried to talk her down, tried to comfort her. My DIL came and picked up the pizzas for all the people who were waiting, and tried to talk to Beth too. She wouldn't budge. She was sitting on the sidewalk now...down from blockbuster so there were not any stores that were open there. She was crying...very sad...."life's not worth living." If you recall, her boyfriend broke up with her 2-3 weeks ago. Beth still is reacting to that, obviously. I was thinking "what do I do?" I tried rationale, I tried reverse psychology, I tried threatening her...and her friend was trying to talk her out of it all the while tool. Finally her friend, who is 6'4", and I picked her up and put her in the car...while she was screaming, crying, hitting, punching, kicking...swearing....and while I drove away, toward the local hospital (she was out of control), she opened the back door FIVE TIMES while the car was moving! Her friend kept screaming at her and holding on to her and beth was screaming back, panicky.....it was juuuuust awful. Beth said "she's taking me to the hospital!" and her friend said "no she's not!" but I was...but she became more panicky and jumped into the way back seat. I told her if she calmed down we wouldn't have to go there. (As I slowly drove around the parking lot a few times I noticed the security car following me!) I could tell that she was slowly calming down...some...so I decided I wouldn't do the hospital thing...that is a HUGE decision...and I didn't want to do it. She had been doing very well, all in all, for a long time and I didn't think she really needed hospitalization. But she was out of control tonight for a while! Anyway, I slowly drove home, all of us quiet...her crying...and by the time I pulled into the driveway she had calmed down. I told them they could stay out in the car for awhile if they needed to talk (less stress on beth) and they did...only 3-4 minutes. Beth had said nasty things earlier about me and her friend...and now when her friend told her that I really did love her, beth shook her head up and down (and her friend was good enough to tell me that). She knows she's loved but oh, it is so hard at times! Love is a DECISION.

So...now...everything is fine again. She's happy. She's smiling, laughing. Talking to her exboyfriend...as she has almost every day (they are "friends"). And I'm left reeling, trying to recover from the past couple of hours!

And that is why I think she's bipolar. If not bipolar, there's definitely SOME mood disorder going on. Her psych dr has said that all along.

thanks for listening if you made it to the end...

sigh....and that was the "emotionally exhausting" part of the day

maralee

[Guest guest]

I'm with you Dawn!! Those days have become less with Ethann but is certainly making up for it. It is emotionally and physically draining. The things they say can really tear you down as a parent and a human being.When it's over you need to do something to help make you feel like a human again who is wanted and needed.

Kudos to you Maralee!! Another episode is history and I pray they stay far and few between.

MISSYSAHM to some special kids!!!

All kid's are gifted; some just open their packagesearlier than others.-- Carr

saturday at my house...long

Had an exciting, interesting, physically and emotionally exhausting day.

My son and his wife moved into their new house...which happens to be 3 houses from us. We helped them and are so happy to have them on the block! So I've been cleaning cupboards, etc., all day. That's the exciting physical part.

Beth (15, AS, social anxiety, possibly bipolar) had her best friend overnight (who seems to almost live with us on weekends) and they had a good day with Beth's mentor, going to the mall, etc. Beth seemed happy. In fact, she and her friends were baking banana bars at our house and came running over...they needed more flour and we were out. My DIL's flour was buried in boxes somewhere so Beth decided, on her own, that she and her friend would ask our next door neighbor for some flour! (We aren't even that close to these neighbors.) She ran out of the house and I said "Who IS that girl?" My son looked at me and said the same thing! Beth has social anxiety and that action just did NOT match up. But that's what she did...she borrowed some flour from the neighbor. (!)

Later, I volunteered to run pick up pizzas for my son and DIL and friends who were helping. Beth and her friend came back over to the new house because they were 'bored." So I asked them if they wanted to go with me to get the pizzas. They did...and it became evident that beth was not having a good day by this time. They went into blockbuster to get a video but when i came to get them (after I picked up the pizzas) Beth hadn't found one and gave me the finger, frankly....and then stormed out of the store. And for the next hour and a half, wouldn't get in the car! I and her friend tried to calm her, tried to talk her down, tried to comfort her. My DIL came and picked up the pizzas for all the people who were waiting, and tried to talk to Beth too. She wouldn't budge. She was sitting on the sidewalk now...down from blockbuster so there were not any stores that were open there. She was crying...very sad...."life's not worth living." If you recall, her boyfriend broke up with her 2-3 weeks ago. Beth still is reacting to that, obviously. I was thinking "what do I do?" I tried rationale, I tried reverse psychology, I tried threatening her...and her friend was trying to talk her out of it all the while tool. Finally her friend, who is 6'4", and I picked her up and put her in the car...while she was screaming, crying, hitting, punching, kicking...swearing....and while I drove away, toward the local hospital (she was out of control), she opened the back door FIVE TIMES while the car was moving! Her friend kept screaming at her and holding on to her and beth was screaming back, panicky.....it was juuuuust awful. Beth said "she's taking me to the hospital!" and her friend said "no she's not!" but I was...but she became more panicky and jumped into the way back seat. I told her if she calmed down we wouldn't have to go there. (As I slowly drove around the parking lot a few times I noticed the security car following me!) I could tell that she was slowly calming down...some...so I decided I wouldn't do the hospital thing...that is a HUGE decision...and I didn't want to do it. She had been doing very well, all in all, for a long time and I didn't think she really needed hospitalization. But she was out of control tonight for a while! Anyway, I slowly drove home, all of us quiet...her crying...and by the time I pulled into the driveway she had calmed down. I told them they could stay out in the car for awhile if they needed to talk (less stress on beth) and they did...only 3-4 minutes. Beth had said nasty things earlier about me and her friend...and now when her friend told her that I really did love her, beth shook her head up and down (and her friend was good enough to tell me that). She knows she's loved but oh, it is so hard at times! Love is a DECISION.

So...now...everything is fine again. She's happy. She's smiling, laughing. Talking to her exboyfriend...as she has almost every day (they are "friends"). And I'm left reeling, trying to recover from the past couple of hours!

And that is why I think she's bipolar. If not bipolar, there's definitely SOME mood disorder going on. Her psych dr has said that all along.

thanks for listening if you made it to the end...

sigh....and that was the "emotionally exhausting" part of the day

maralee

[Guest guest]

Thanks, Missy. Me too. ME TOO.

maralee

..... The things they say can really tear you down as a parent and a human being.When it's over you need to do something to help make you feel like a human again who is wanted and needed.

Kudos to you Maralee!! Another episode is history and I pray they stay far and few between.

MISSYSAHM to some special kids!!!