Re: Home schooling - Question for you all who do this

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In a message dated 4/6/2006 4:01:37 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

jegm2002@... writes:

But how do you start chagning well entrenched habits?

I don't " home school " but I do work with Trisha at home a lot and what we

found that is helping us to get her on schedule is using a timer called Time

Tracker and Time Timer. The Time Tracker seems to be the one she responds to

the best. I put a piece of velcro on the top of the time tracker and put

what will be happening when the timer goes off. We also use a " first/then "

card

to show her that first you do this and then you get to do that. We also

have a token board but we have not implemented that yet. The Time Timer we

have

in a wall clock size so that she can get used to look at the clock on the

wall. I would say for us right now the first/then and Time Tracker have been

really great with getting her to transition to other things and to go to the

bathroom along with her picture schedules and verbal and signing prompts.

_Time Timer | Home_ (http://www.timetimer.com/)

_LearningResources.com_

(http://www.learningresources.com/Product.pasp?txtCatalog=toys & txtProductID=6900\

)

Carol

Trishasmom

She isn't Typical, She's Trisha!

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In a message dated 4/6/2006 6:28:06 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

gldcst@... writes:

The only idea that comes to mind is you start " slooooowly " and stop right

before you're gonna get decked

I totally agree with going slow. It takes longer that way but the result is

less frustrating on the child and the parent. We slowly add more time onto

each task and sometimes we even have to take a step back and reintroduce

something and then move forward again. Like on the finger spelling, Trisha

does

great except for finger spelling her name, she still gets confused so we

have to finger spell it and then sign her name whereas when we taught her other

words she got them almost immediately. I think the mistake we made was

teaching only her name in writing for so many years that she is having a hard

time

with it being finger spelled but yet we taught her to finger spell the word

" messy " in just a few minutes. She recognizes her name in all different

printed forms and I know she will learn to recognize the finger spelling form

but

it's just gonna take longer. :-) I've learned not to just work on one way

at a time, now when we teach a new word we teach it in sign, finger

spelling, written and verbal and use pictures when available. It's much easier

to do

it that way for us than to start one way and try to do it another way later

on. We are slowly getting her to do other things besides watching her movies

all the time but again that is a very slow process and one that will

probably be an ongoing task for a long time to come. The other thing I would

suggest is to follow a task they don't like with a task they love, they are

more

willing to complete it when they see what they get to do next. :-)

Carol

Trishasmom

She isn't Typical, She's Trisha!

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<<Especially when in a group who has children with autism (whether or not

they have Down syndrome,too), you find a higher percentage of people

who home school or do home programming.>>

One of my favorite email groups for a long time was Aut2BHome where I actually

met Lori(?) from Hawaii. I don't know if she is still there or not. But it was a

great HSing list for autism. Then of course there is the HSchooling and Down

Syndrome list. For reasons only those of you in this group can understand there

was always a little bit of shall we say, " holding back " on both of those lists.

<<I was wondering if you all would mind sharing techniques and tips that

you use to implement some sort of " schedule " into the day?>>

Well, we've got the timers Carol mentioned (one of them ended up mysteriously

stuck behind the bureau with some sanitary pads). And we had visual schedules

with the velcro, also the pocket chart thingies. removed all the

therapists pictures who were coming that day, or any particular tasks she wasn't

interested in and they too went the way of the timers. She only left the people

up she liked so at least I learned how she felt about various therapists.

I hate to say this but one of the reasons I chose to homeschool was because I am

not an organized scheduled person. And for those who don't know...it was NEVER

my intention to homeschool. I feel like I just got drawn into it by one

coincidence after another. I went to my first parent to parent meeting when J

was 2 and I was totally overwhelmed by how much there was to learn about her

rights and her education and all the detailed stuff that you all know and fight

for so very well. I was shhhhhhhh(40) when I had her and I knew she was going to

be my only child and I had already whooped it up pretty good in my early

adulthood. I just wanted to be there when she said her first words and took her

first steps and we sacrificed alot of material junk that I don't really care

about in order to do it.

In addition she was a very sick kid. This is probably too much info but I hate

when moms who don't HS feel that we think we're better or something. Quite the

contrary, I knew I did not have enough energy to fight the system, fight the

doctors, and still, like Carol and most of you, work with her at home. So I

chose my battles.

The truth is, because she has always been homeschooled she doesn't really " get "

that it's work. Her attention span used to be about 5 seconds when she was

little so we " worked " on and off all day in very small increments. And we worked

everywhere, on the swing, trampoline, the bed in our pajamas, in the kitchen,

sometimes at a table but not all that often early on.

So in answer to your question we never really had deeply entrenched habits to

overcome.

When Sara mentioned the possibility of psychiatric commitment or undoing an

adoption I could really identify. When was 9 or so we had had no help

whatsoever, no waiver, no medicaid, no nothing and I knew that one of us was

going to end up in an institution. That's when medwaiver came to the rescue and

we got help and we began some ABA. And the first thing they taught me was how to

establish instructional control. You cannot believe the difference in the data

for SIBs and Aggression and tantrums from that first day to today.

And even tho there is not actually a schedule per se (I'm actually working on

the visual strategies book just now finally) everything must be introduced very

very slowly following upon something old and comfortable. Am I making sense? We

constantly have to remember to slow down and oh so gradually expand or draw out

an activity she is used to. When a brand new therapist bounces in here fresh out

of college and enthusiastically announces " Let's try so and so " . I just shut my

eyes and get my data sheet out cause I know she's gonna take a hit.

<<But how do you start chagning well entrenched habits?>>

The only idea that comes to mind is you start " slooooowly " and stop right before

you're gonna get decked. When we're " off school " for awhile and getting back

into the groove I start with for example 5 min of a sign language video for a

day or two, then maybe 2 5 min sessions. She's actually up to 20 min at a time

now at certain tasks and she's sailing thru her VB program with compliance(!!)

for 2 hour sessions, 2 min breaks every 20 min. She's come a long way and I feel

like I have too. The behavioral stuff finally gave me the confidence I needed

all those early years in addition to a wonderful CBA who is a true friend and

always available for advice when I'm stumped (often). Also like Carol said the

" first, then " concept made a world of difference.

probably not all that helpful but at least we'll have a couple of Homeschooling

headings in the archives for new folks;-)

Sherry

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<<The other thing I would

suggest is to follow a task they don't like with a task they love, they are

more

willing to complete it when they see what they get to do next. :-)>>

Exactly! We're never allowed to end on a bad note or on a mistake. If need be I

slip something in really fast that I know she'll nail so she can have her

applause and feel good about herself and be willing to come back.

In fact what you are suggesting is what we do also; it is sort of a " visual

schedule " in that she can see what to expect. Two tasks: like a puzzle and some

sequencing stuff laid out ahead of time. If we whip out an unexpected task we're

asking for trouble:-).

Sherry

[Guest guest]

In addition she was a very sick kid. This is probably too much info but I

hate when moms who don't HS feel that we think we're better or something.

Quite the contrary, I knew I did not have enough energy to fight the system,

fight the doctors, and still, like Carol and most of you, work with her at

home. So I chose my battles.

Now isn't that funny, I always felt as if I wasn't doing enough because I

didn't home school. For me I don't feel I have the discipline to do an

effective job teaching her. Yes I work with her at home and if I hadn't we

would be further behind than she already is but still, I just don't have

what it takes to be a good home schooling mom. I really respect those who

are able to home school, plus and don't anyone go getting mad at me, but the

time she is away at school enables me to recoup so that I can work with her

at home. Psssst, Sherry, don't tell but I was 39 when Trisha was born. :-)

I too chose my battles and sometimes the battles changes and sometimes like

right now we are having a reprieve and I can't tell you how wonderful it is

not to be fighting the school. I feel like I should be doing more but then

I remember, I am only one person and I can't do it all and if I wear myself

out now who will be there for her later? As a single parent, I have to

really pick my battles and I have had to learn over the years to let some

things go. I am always learning new ways to do old things and sometimes

old ways to do new things. :-)

Carol

Trishasmom

She isn't Typical, She's Trisha!

[Guest guest]

<<Now isn't that funny, I always felt as if I wasn't doing enough because I

didn't home school. >>

You're a SINGLE PARENT and you feel guilt for not homeschooling???

<<Yes I work with her at home and if I hadn't we

would be further behind than she already is but still, I just don't have

what it takes to be a good home schooling mom>>

You ARE a good homeschooling mom. Any of us working with our kids for any time

at all at home is homeschooling

<<don't anyone go getting mad at me, but the

time she is away at school enables me to recoup so that I can work with her>>

Well, do you promise not to get mad at me because hubby takes out for a

few hours so I can rest, and that I have a PCA in the house 4 days a week and I

spend those 4hrs each day in bed, resting, watching TV or reading while she does

the cooking for J's special diet? I already burned myself out bigtime by taking

on too much and have second guessed myself a thousand times over about

homeschooling. From my experience with HS families it pretty much takes a very

dedicated family situation in order to do it. I haven't heard alot of success

stories for single moms attempting to homeschool fulltime. Not that there aren't

any; I just haven't run across many.

Sherry

[Guest guest]

i have nothing against homeschool, been really thinkning hard on pulling the

boys and homeshcooling them as they are getting left way behind in this so

called " no child left behind act, pbythpppbbttt, ya right, I did homeschool for

two years when we lived away from home for hubbys work and it was great, but

since we moved home i have worked full time and didnt feel i had the time, but i

am re- thinking to just make the time as we are getting fed up with the school

and their crap and they are doing what they do best, wearing us down, but i

refuse to let my boys be left behind, maybe i will dual enroll them this fall,

start slowly, will see how we do over the summer, and then go from there. shawna

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In a message dated 4/6/2006 4:02:09 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

jegm2002@... writes:

But how do you start chagning well entrenched habits?

I *hear* ya dear. We've had to change some entrenched habits with the

potty training, for sure. The thing that pops in my head is INCENTIVE to do

whatever it is. Incentive and motivation are KEY ingredients to getting

Maddie to do anything.

Donna

[Guest guest]

Hi Joan, I know is younger and thankfully is not too into

routine although we have ours in our own way!! I guess for us, I

need to get " more " on a schedule! I know what you mean with

the diareah and all, we go through this after having to use a

laxitive so often and it does help that he is at home, I bet Andy

would do fine and you could put his everyday stuff (like getting

ready for the day)in a schedule, he could just be on a slower pace

and take more time with each task. With I am happy when I can

spend as much time as he needs for sensory stuff and dont have to

rush him. we just need to put in more outings I know and

communication like crazy, like I told Sherry, I always feel as if I

am not doing enough.

Joan, also have been wanting to tell you, I read what you wrote on

the Feb. blog having to do with Andys birthday, and yes, I am an

emotional one but I was choked up at what you wrote, It really

touched my heart cause it was so beautifully written and so much

like how I feel about , just wanted to thank you for that.

Good luck with the days home, it will be great I bet, take care,

Dawn, 9 yrs on Tues.

>

> Hey all,

>

> Especially when in a group who has children with autism (whether

or not

> they have Down syndrome,too), you find a higher percentage of

people

> who home school or do home programming.

>

> I was wondering if you all would mind sharing techniques and tips

that

> you use to implement some sort of " schedule " into the day?

>

> After 2 1/2 years of dealing with diarrhea, we're finally healthy

and

> at a point where I'd like to revisit this for Andy, particularly

on

> Wed/Thurs when he's out of school at 2pm.

>

> But how do you start chagning well entrenched habits?

>

> Thanks!

>

> Joan

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/6/2006 6:28:05 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

gldcst@... writes:

This is probably too much info but I hate when moms who don't HS feel that

we think we're better or something. Quite the contrary, I knew I did not have

enough energy to fight the system, fight the doctors, and still, like Carol

and most of you, work with her at home. So I chose my battles.

Sherry, I have a huge amount of respect for those who HS. I just know

it's not something I could do.....with ANY of my kids, not just Maddie. We

have a very large HS contingency here in my neighborhood, and Duff's cousin

homeschools their EIGHT kids (they have NINE...their oldest has severe autism

and

lives in residence).

<<When Sara mentioned the possibility of psychiatric commitment or undoing

an adoption I could really identify. When was 9 or so we had had no help

whatsoever, no waiver, no medicaid, no nothing and I knew that one of us was

going to end up in an institution.>>

I've said this before, but it's so true. I am SO lucky in the family

support I get from Duff, my other kids, my in-laws, and friends. For

example,

just Monday, my SIL INSISTED I allow her to take off work to come take care of

Maddie (she even stayed with the potty program, one of the reasons I even

hesitated) so I could go with Duff to take our 13 year old, Alison, to DC for

her week long People to People Ambassador program. As she reminded me, *I*

needed to go so Alison would have that memory. I know I am incredibly

unique in the level of support I get, and I have never ever taken it for

granted. It's my salvation!!!

Donna

[Guest guest]

<<I did homeschool for two years when we lived away from home for hubbys work

and it was great, but since we moved home i have worked full time and didnt feel

i had the time, but i am re- thinking to just make the time >>

a I thought I remembered you homeschooling awhile back. See this is the

thing....most people who homeschool (or at least the ones I appreciate) would

never ever think a mom who is single and/or working full time should even think

about homeschooling. You'd be dead within a year LOL. I have been very fortunate

that dh was supportive and we were willing to live in el dumpo house and drive a

1986 rustbucket all these years. Things are better now with medwaiver funding

but as it was I nearly put myself in the hospital and have ended up with alot of

chronic disease conditions because I wasn't listening when they passed out the

" taking care of the caretaker " advice. Trying it partime in the summer if you

feel like it's right sounds like a great idea and is, as you probably know, what

alot of HS vets advise anyway. To me it seems as if everyone on this list

" homeschools " to one degree or another. You can't help but not do it with our

kiddos.

Sherry

[Guest guest]

<< INCENTIVE to do

whatever it is. Incentive and motivation are KEY ingredients to getting

Maddie to do anything.

Donna>>

Don't you think they're the KEY ingredients to getting anybody to do anything?

(like husbands too hehe) Maybe the kids aren't that weird....just more honest.

Sherry

[Guest guest]

i definately agree there, all the parents on this list do some form of home

school wherther they realize it or not, just playing a game, teaching them to

shower, singing songs, readinga story, you name any activity, its still

teaching in the home. shawna

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I homeschooled Ashton for about a year when we were fighting that OLD idiotic

school district in NOVA. I also worked part time for UCP as a case manager and

it was very demanding to juggle everything......because like someone said, it

usually fell back on mom.... laundry, paying the bills, school junk, blah blah

blah.... I could have noT continued to homeschool her as I would have ended up

in a round room trying to find a corner to stand in..... but I think by doing it

my relationship grew in paramount ways with Ashton.... and it was also good for

Cameron......because he got to see things weren't so easy for her...... I take

my hat off to those who can do it and have the patience and devotion.... lol I

unfortunately am out of patience and now have to work cuz of the single mom

issue..... unless there is a sugar daddy out there for me somewhere lurking in

the shadows......send him on.....lol

leah

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In a message dated 4/9/2006 4:53:08 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

gldcst@... writes:

I'll keep a lookout leah....where are you? How about one of dh's fat 70

year old millionaire bosses? lol

hey that's close to my age, I'll take one! :-)

Carol

Trishasmom

She isn't Typical, She's Trisha!

[Guest guest]

<< unless there is a sugar daddy out there for me somewhere lurking in the

shadows......send him on.....lol

leah >>

I'll keep a lookout leah....where are you? How about one of dh's fat 70 year

old millionaire bosses? lol

Sherry