Re: Destroying Things

[Guest guest]

Dear Therese, I'm so sorry about and the couch. I can't tell you how many

sets of furniture we have been thru (nothing ever " new " of course) peed on,

pooped on and now bled on. The poor thing seems like she couldn't help herself

which makes me wonder if it wasn't the leather. New leather is extremely toxic

and gives off alot of chemicals. We're chemically sensitive over here and on

several lists for this. New leather is one of the main things not tolerated by

sensitive folks. Knowing how sensitive our kids are it could be an answer. We've

never gotten leather- even in a car cause it makes me sick and I'm afraid of

what it would do to . I totally understand your feeling about not ever

being able to have nice things. Maybe katie really couldn't help herself though.

Hope she gets feeling better.

Sherry mom to 17/DS/Aut

[Guest guest]

Therese,

I am sorry about your couch and I am sorry is acting out of

sorts.....but your not alone.....a few years ago a friend of mine gave me a

beautiful fainting sofa...something I could never afford...Ashton got a hold of

a permanent marker set and made circles ALL OVER THE fabric which was

beige...... so it was ruined.... she thought she was making pretty..... I just

cried.... sometimes it feels like the things we work so hard to obtain and

acquire are gone and taken away ina second... its so hard to justify to one's

self why things happen ....... I stopped asking myself.....it doesn't do any

good for me to question...things are just as they are.....

sighhhhh hang in there.I shall have a glass of wine for you....:-)

take care,

leah mom to ashton almost fifteen and cameron almost 11

Liz D wrote:

Therese: I am so sorry about the couch...and about acting out like

that. Something must have set her off to do that...especially if she hasn't

done that is a long time. Any changes? You said the couch was new. Maybe

that set her off. Tori does not like any change in the environment.

Liz

Destroying Things

> Hi Everyone,

>

> Yesterday, while I was making dinner, shredded the seat cushion of a

> expensive, new leather couch. I don't know how, I don't know why. She was

> in a good mood, watching TV. There wasn't anything in the room that she

> could use start a hole in it so we are thinking she bit it and then

> started

> ripping. She did it in a matter of minutes within view of the kitchen. By

> the time I caught her, it was literally in about ten pieces pieces. The

> cushion is attached to the couch so I'm not sure if it can even be fixed.

>

> When I went in there she started hitting her head and yelling Bad, Bad so

> she knows it was wrong. She is being punished today by not being able to

> go

> in the family room, which is her favorite room. If I yell at her she

> just

> starts hitting herself or head banging so I'm not sure what to do as far

> as

> punishing her.

>

> I know it's just a couch, but I thought all this was behind us. The pica,

> and the shredding of stuff. It just makes me sad. I feel like I can't have

> anything nice sometimes.

>

>

> Therese Mom to 15 DS/asd

>

>

>

> --------------------------------------------------

> Checkout our homepage for information, bookmarks, and photos

> of our kids. Share favorite bookmarks, ideas, and other information by

> including them. Don't forget, messages are a permanent record of the

> archives for our list. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/

> --------------------------------------------

>

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone,

I'd sure love to understand more about why our kiddos destroy things. My 4

year old son has trashed 5 out of 8 of our brand new kitchen chairs in the last

6 months or so. He crashes them to the ground and sure enough the wood splits

and the chair is ruined!

Most of his stimming behaviors are sensory related, so we've assumed he loves

to throw chairs to the ground because of the noise they make when they hit the

ceramic floor. He's also banged wooden bars stools down, but fortunately those

haven't broken (yet)!

We can't leave any plates, cups, silverware etc. in front of him at the table.

He'll whip those to the floor with lightening speed. It does make working on

self-feeding that much more difficult!!!

Any insight as to how to 'train' this behavior out of him??

Thanks,

Sandy, mom to Josiah, 4 yr. old with DS & ASD

Destroying Things

> Hi Everyone,

>

> Yesterday, while I was making dinner, shredded the seat cushion of a

> expensive, new leather couch. I don't know how, I don't know why. She was

> in a good mood, watching TV. There wasn't anything in the room that she

> could use start a hole in it so we are thinking she bit it and then

> started

> ripping. She did it in a matter of minutes within view of the kitchen. By

> the time I caught her, it was literally in about ten pieces pieces. The

> cushion is attached to the couch so I'm not sure if it can even be fixed.

>

> When I went in there she started hitting her head and yelling Bad, Bad so

> she knows it was wrong. She is being punished today by not being able to

> go

> in the family room, which is her favorite room. If I yell at her she

> just

> starts hitting herself or head banging so I'm not sure what to do as far

> as

> punishing her.

>

> I know it's just a couch, but I thought all this was behind us. The pica,

> and the shredding of stuff. It just makes me sad. I feel like I can't have

> anything nice sometimes.

>

>

> Therese Mom to 15 DS/asd

>

>

>

> --------------------------------------------------

> Checkout our homepage for information, bookmarks, and photos

> of our kids. Share favorite bookmarks, ideas, and other information by

> including them. Don't forget, messages are a permanent record of the

> archives for our list. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/

> --------------------------------------------

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Therese,

So sorry about your couch. Geez, I really feel lucky that just does

not do these things. He never has destroyed anything. The most he does is

scatter his toys around the house. I can only hope he never starts this.

Viola Mom to 13 DS PDD (nos)

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 3/19/2006 3:46:16 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

home@... writes:

I know it's just a couch, but I thought all this was behind us. The pica,

and the shredding of stuff. It just makes me sad. I feel like I can't have

anything nice sometimes.

HUGS Therese!! I'm right there with ya!!!!! We replace our TV room

furniture approximately every 3 to 4 years. Maddie makes holes in everything.

Did you ever hear my story about the missing baby bottles? We kept

*losing* them and I kept buying them....months later when getting ready to

trash

yet another sofa, we discovered that she'd made a hole underneath, and

voila'....there were TONS of baby bottles!!!! She would drink them, and hide

them.

We just recently purchased new stuff and it was a mere week old...YUP, it

has a hole in it. Maddie has broken more things, just for the sake of

watching them break. For instance, we have a 3 story house with a center

hall and stairs that go all the way up. We built this contraption on the

second floor to keep her from throwing herself over, but she can still hurl

stuff. Once she threw a wooden baseball bat over the top of the railing from

the second floor, where it crashed on my cherry wood GLASS top desk on the

first floor. The glass top shattered like a car windshield....I was finding

beads of glass in the strangest places for weeks!!!!

Donna

[Guest guest]

<<you forgot puked on, lol, we also never buy any new furninture as of yet

anyways, lol shawna>>

OMG how could I ever forget the puke. ICK we had buckets in every room and she

always managed to overshoot them and hit the brand new whatever...comforter,

rug, mommy etc. LOL.

Sherry

[Guest guest]

Hi Therese,

I don't have anything nice either. I bought cheap new livingroom furniture 3

yrs ago and Zeb peed on it after the first week. It is ready for the dump. I

replaced it only out of neccessity knowing that it would soon be ruined. The

grandchildren have also had a hand in destroying. My cushion covers have been

washed so many times that they are a different color. Anything I own that is

nice is packed away in boxes and I often wonder why I bother to keep it. I

bought a new stainless refrigerator to replace one that was 22 yrs old a few

years ago. I had it 2 mos and Zeb scraped the entire door with a plastic toy

while I was away working. I look on the bright side, the frig works great and

the structure of the livingroom furniture hasn't collapsed yet.

Charlyne

Mom to Zeb 13 DS/OCD/ASD?

Therese wrote:

Hi Everyone,

Yesterday, while I was making dinner, shredded the seat cushion of a

expensive, new leather couch. I don't know how, I don't know why. She was

in a good mood, watching TV. There wasn't anything in the room that she

could use start a hole in it so we are thinking she bit it and then started

ripping. She did it in a matter of minutes within view of the kitchen. By

the time I caught her, it was literally in about ten pieces pieces. The

cushion is attached to the couch so I'm not sure if it can even be fixed.

When I went in there she started hitting her head and yelling Bad, Bad so

she knows it was wrong. She is being punished today by not being able to go

in the family room, which is her favorite room. If I yell at her she just

starts hitting herself or head banging so I'm not sure what to do as far as

punishing her.

I know it's just a couch, but I thought all this was behind us. The pica,

and the shredding of stuff. It just makes me sad. I feel like I can't have

anything nice sometimes.

Therese Mom to 15 DS/asd

--------------------------------------------------

Checkout our homepage for information, bookmarks, and photos of our

kids. Share favorite bookmarks, ideas, and other information by including them.

Don't forget, messages are a permanent record of the archives for our list.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/

--------------------------------------------

[Guest guest]

Annette,

Thanks for your insight. I can only hope Josiah will outgrow this throwing

behavior. We do try to keep a postiive perspective on it...always joking

amongst ourselves that he'll be a great ball player someday (if he can stand on

the mound backward and pitch the ball over his head). : - P

I like the idea of metal brackets on the chairs. Could you explain that a

little more. I'm not sure what you mean, but maybe something like that will

work with us. He broke another chair yesterday..it's TOAST!

At night, after we've put him to bed, we can hear him hurling things in his

room, CD player, toys, clothes, etc. I know it's only a matter of time til he

opens the drawers and empties their contents as well. The entire time he's

throwing things, he laughs hysterically! We ignore it and eventually he does

fall asleep. The amazing thing is that his 8 year old brother in the top bunk

in Josiah's room, sleeps through the entire thing!

In the past we've had him pick whatever he's thrown (from the Kitchen table)

and put it back on the table. He's great at that and actually thinks it's part

of a 'game'. I'll try your idea of just not letting him have whatever he throws

off the table. Maybe that will work better!

Thanks,

Sandy, mom to Josiah, 4, DS/ASD

Destroying Things

> Hi Everyone,

>

> Yesterday, while I was making dinner, shredded the seat cushion of a

> expensive, new leather couch. I don't know how, I don't know why. She was

> in a good mood, watching TV. There wasn't anything in the room that she

> could use start a hole in it so we are thinking she bit it and then

> started

> ripping. She did it in a matter of minutes within view of the kitchen. By

> the time I caught her, it was literally in about ten pieces pieces. The

> cushion is attached to the couch so I'm not sure if it can even be fixed.

>

> When I went in there she started hitting her head and yelling Bad, Bad so

> she knows it was wrong. She is being punished today by not being able to

> go

> in the family room, which is her favorite room. If I yell at her she

> just

> starts hitting herself or head banging so I'm not sure what to do as far

> as

> punishing her.

>

> I know it's just a couch, but I thought all this was behind us. The pica,

> and the shredding of stuff. It just makes me sad. I feel like I can't have

> anything nice sometimes.

>

>

> Therese Mom to 15 DS/asd

>

>

>

> --------------------------------------------------

> Checkout our homepage for information, bookmarks, and photos

> of our kids. Share favorite bookmarks, ideas, and other information by

> including them. Don't forget, messages are a permanent record of the

> archives for our list. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/

> --------------------------------------------

>

[Guest guest]

Oh my Gosh, there were a lot of sympathetic souls to this thread. I guess

everybody has had something nice destroyed. Your responses helped me put it

into perspective. They also reminded me of all the things she used to do

that she hasn't done for years. Just knowing I'm not the only one dealing

with this is really a funny comfort. I'm amazed that our kids act so

similar to each other and while we are scattered all over the world, we can

still commiserate with each other and compare war stories, or ruined couch

stories as the case may be.

As far as perspective, when I factor my other daughters college costs,

wedding costs, study abroad trips, car accidents that couldn't be turned

into insurance because it was their third one in six months...I remember

that typical kids are really expensive too. I've decided that when it's

all said and done, is probably going to be my cheapest kid to raise.

Therese

>

> In a message dated 3/21/2006 6:44:49 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,

> annettemaree123@... writes:

>

> She will upend the toys in boxes - so we make her pick it up - it sometimes

> takes a while - then those toys get put away for a while.

>

>

> Yea, we do this too. But with Maddie, it has no effect. She thinks that

> part is fun as well....;-) Most mornings her room is destroyed...she

> empties her drawers and either puts her clothes on, or just strews

> everything...even takes apart every pair of folded socks (many are on

> her....typically

> ONLY on one foot....LOLOL) Duff kept asking me to lock them up, but

> honestly, I'd rather fold clothes than have her get into something more

> dangerous....like the windows!!!!! We have locks and child locks on them,

> but she has

> stunned us before with her capabilities, and that's not a risk I'm willing

> to take.

>

> And yes Annette, it does get better as they get older. Maddie used to

> hurl plates, glasses, dishes...right off the table. If she saw a glass

> filled with something, she'd walk by it and swipe it. We don't have that

> anymore

> thankfully.

> Donna

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I've been following this thread with great interest. It is SO GREAT

to hear that we're not the only ones with a child who wrecks things.

(We call her " Destructo Girl " which has a nice X-Men ring to it!) She

does so many of the things that some of you have written that your

children do.

One thing that saved our sanity was putting locks (cabin hooks) on

most of our internal doors. Sophie gets to go freely through the

dining, living and family rooms and her own bedroom. But we usually

lock the kitchen - no more waking to the sound of smashing plates or

finding frozen chicken on our sofa. My son was so happy when we got

the locks because it meant his bedroom no longer got raided daily -

any mess there now is his own doing.

We lock up most of her clothes and toys. She does have access to some

cupboards so that she can pack and repack things - or trash them and I

can cope with the limited mess.

Sophie has a box of videos which she puts on herself. DVDs are

hopeless. We burn back up copies and put them on for her.

It's so hard finding a balance between keeping your own sanity and

letting your child learn how to do things and how to behave.

I have great admiration for the patience you all show, especially

those of you with older children who have been dealing with this for

so many more years than I have.

Lisette

>

> >

> > In a message dated 3/21/2006 6:44:49 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,

> > annettemaree123@... writes:

> >

> > She will upend the toys in boxes - so we make her pick it up - it

sometimes

> > takes a while - then those toys get put away for a while.

> >

> >

> > Yea, we do this too. But with Maddie, it has no effect. She

thinks that

> > part is fun as well....;-) Most mornings her room is

destroyed...she

> > empties her drawers and either puts her clothes on, or just strews

> > everything...even takes apart every pair of folded socks (many are on

> > her....typically

> > ONLY on one foot....LOLOL) Duff kept asking me to lock them

up, but

> > honestly, I'd rather fold clothes than have her get into

something more

> > dangerous....like the windows!!!!! We have locks and child

locks on them,

> > but she has

> > stunned us before with her capabilities, and that's not a risk

I'm willing

> > to take.

> >

> > And yes Annette, it does get better as they get older.

Maddie used to

> > hurl plates, glasses, dishes...right off the table. If she saw

a glass

> > filled with something, she'd walk by it and swipe it. We don't

have that

> > anymore

> > thankfully.

> > Donna

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 3/22/2006 3:36:42 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

mick8_7@... writes:

Mic destroys stuff in an orderly fashion everything goes in piles except my

plants which now are in the locked in another room.All the couch cushions

chairs cushions go in a pile all the clothes go in a pile if one of his toys is

tipped over it must be standing upright.They also go in piles. He rips

anything paper and we have little pieces of paper all over but at least he

doesnt

eat the paper anymore. He does still chew it some.I think Mic will get worse

hes still discovering things.He likes to tip the furniture over if he can.

the kitchen chairs are his favorites.He always picks them back up and stands

them upright.And the cat he throws things at the cat. I swear the cat likes it

because the cat will always move from room to room where Mic is and kinda

tease him.He knows not to get to close though.

LOL Yea, sounds a lot like Maddie. Some of you will remember the first

time we went into her room in the morning and found about 25 of her stuffed

animals lined up evenly across her room....ALL FACE DOWN, so she wouldn't have

to make eye contact...LOL She still does that. The only furniture she

tips lately is a couple rocking chairs we have. And she also likes to

torture our dog, Muggsie. When he eats out of his dog bowl, she likes to lay

on

the floor with her face about an inch from his...it's hysterical. He's old

now, but still very nice about it (course, she slides him food when we're not

looking, so he better be nice).

Donna

[Guest guest]

Hi all, everything's fine....well, as fine as fine can be in this house! I

HAD to respond to the thread about destroying things. This is some

coincidence....just today, we had a leather expert over to access the damage

done to our leather living room set from 's soiling it. He's taking Lithium

now and has a horrible problem bedwetting, he can't hold it in. He goes through

everything and I've tried plastic pants, rubber mats on the sofa when he falls

asleep....no good, he sleepwalks, so he changes positions and furniture to lay

on......anyway, to make a long story even longer, the guy shook his head and

said there's nothing to take the stains out....all those pet urine stain

commercials are a load of crap. I even ordered this stuff from the Bedwetting

Store, which swore it would get out old stains from as long ago as THIRTY years!

Well, I can tell you, none of those products worked, and we've only had the

furniture for three years!!!! has a lifelong habit of having to have

something in each hand to bang with, especially when watching TV. This has

gotten better over the years, both with maturity and different meds....but he

still does it sometimes.

My husband refuses to repair or replace the furniture till " grows " out of

this problem. He's almost 13 now, and still not potty trained!!!!!!!!!!! I am

thinking of hiring a professional therapist to help with this.

I hope all my old friends, Leah, Gail, Donna, Irma, Joan, and anyone else who

I failed to mention are doing fine!!!! Udate when you can.

Love,

and

wrote:

There are 25 messages in this issue.

Topics in this digest:

1. Re: Destroying Things

From: " rsd "

2. Re: Re: spell-a-word

From: smilinggail@...

3. Moving, yes or no?

From:

4. Re: Moving, yes or no?

From: Csvillars@...

5. Re: Moving, yes or no?

From: ViPorier@...

6. Re: Re: Moving, yes or no?

From:

7. Re: Destroying Things

From: annette groomes

8. Re: Annette

From: annette groomes

9. Re: Destroying Things

From: annette groomes

10. Re: Moving, yes or no?

From: smilinggail@...

11. Re: Destroying Things

From: duffey48@...

12. re: destroying things

From: " eversearch1 "

13. Re: Re: Destroying Things

From: Sharon Hershey Fay

14. Re: Re: Destroying Things

From: " rsd "

15. Re: re: destroying things

From: ViPorier@...

16. Re: re: destroying things

From: Csvillars@...

17. Re: Raynaud's syndrome

From: Joan Medlen

18. Re: re: destroying things

From: Becky Kligora

19. Re: re: destroying things

From: smilinggail@...

20. Re: re: destroying things

From: Csvillars@...

21. Re: Re: Destroying Things

From: Mitch0519@...

22. and his new school to Carol

From: " carolelinda2003 "

23. Zeb

From: " carolelinda2003 "

24. Re: re: destroying things

From: nolan

25. Medicaid question

From: Marina Canale-Parola

________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

Message: 1

Date: Tue, 21 Mar 2006 10:11:02 -0600

From: " rsd "

Subject: Re: Destroying Things

Annette,

Thanks for your insight. I can only hope Josiah will outgrow this throwing

behavior. We do try to keep a postiive perspective on it...always joking amongst

ourselves that he'll be a great ball player someday (if he can stand on the

mound backward and pitch the ball over his head). : - P

I like the idea of metal brackets on the chairs. Could you explain that a little

more. I'm not sure what you mean, but maybe something like that will work with

us. He broke another chair yesterday..it's TOAST!

At night, after we've put him to bed, we can hear him hurling things in his

room, CD player, toys, clothes, etc. I know it's only a matter of time til he

opens the drawers and empties their contents as well. The entire time he's

throwing things, he laughs hysterically! We ignore it and eventually he does

fall asleep. The amazing thing is that his 8 year old brother in the top bunk in

Josiah's room, sleeps through the entire thing!

In the past we've had him pick whatever he's thrown (from the Kitchen table) and

put it back on the table. He's great at that and actually thinks it's part of a

'game'. I'll try your idea of just not letting him have whatever he throws off

the table. Maybe that will work better!

Thanks,

Sandy, mom to Josiah, 4, DS/ASD

Destroying Things

> Hi Everyone,

>

> Yesterday, while I was making dinner, shredded the seat cushion of a

> expensive, new leather couch. I don't know how, I don't know why. She was

> in a good mood, watching TV. There wasn't anything in the room that she

> could use start a hole in it so we are thinking she bit it and then

> started

> ripping. She did it in a matter of minutes within view of the kitchen. By

> the time I caught her, it was literally in about ten pieces pieces. The

> cushion is attached to the couch so I'm not sure if it can even be fixed.

>

> When I went in there she started hitting her head and yelling Bad, Bad so

> she knows it was wrong. She is being punished today by not being able to

> go

> in the family room, which is her favorite room. If I yell at her she

> just

> starts hitting herself or head banging so I'm not sure what to do as far

> as

> punishing her.

>

> I know it's just a couch, but I thought all this was behind us. The pica,

> and the shredding of stuff. It just makes me sad. I feel like I can't have

> anything nice sometimes.

>

>

> Therese Mom to 15 DS/asd

>

>

>

> --------------------------------------------------

> Checkout our homepage for information, bookmarks, and photos

> of our kids. Share favorite bookmarks, ideas, and other information by

> including them. Don't forget, messages are a permanent record of the

> archives for our list. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/

> --------------------------------------------

>

[Guest guest]

LOL Carol!

Seth will only eat his Foot Loops from the floor too. We put it in a bowl (

dry ), and he dumps it on the floor to eat. Weird, but with Seth's pica

too, he doesn't actually eat anything hand to mouth. He eats only what he can

put his mouth directly on. Gosh, it's so easy to just accept these behaviors

as normal. LOL

Gail :-)

well now, Trisha does enjoy her ketchup ala floor herself. She also

prefers

to eat sitting on the floor rather than at a table. Sometimes it almost

feelings like you are setting down a dog bowl. (and no I'm not equating

her to

a dog) :-)

Carol

Trishasmom

[Guest guest]

LAURA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How are you? Sure have missed you. So, how old is sean and how big is he

now?

Gail :-)

I hope all my old friends, Leah, Gail, Donna, Irma, Joan, and anyone else

who I failed to mention are doing fine!!!! Udate when you can.

Love,

and

[Guest guest]

HI Donna,

This is - he's practically on top of Buddy when he's eating. Buddy is

very kind to - in addition to putting up with the up close and personal

audience, he also lets him saddle him up like a horse!!!

gotta love a golden retriever!

Jayne

duffey48@... wrote:

When he eats out of his dog bowl, she likes to lay on

the floor with her face about an inch from his...it's hysterical. He's old

now, but still very nice about it (course, she slides him food when we're not

looking, so he better be nice).

Donna

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