Maxine Aston's CADD Workshop

[Guest guest]

Hi Chole:

Thanks for your thoughts and a BIG cyber HUG to you. AS is still rather new in terms of the medical community and no 2 are alike. It sounds like many of the spouses discovered late in their marriage their spouse may or may not have AS long after their relationships started to fracture. It sounds like there was a lot of pent up anger which is probably normal considering the lives they have led with their undiagnosed or recently diagnosed partner???

That is THEIR story and not YOUR life. You have the good fortune of knowing your partner has AS and can make an informed choice as the relationship moves FF. Your life does not have to follow their path.

There were no support groups like ours years ago and so our stories are different than your generation. There is a lot of pain and anger towards the lack of knowledge and support in regards to adults with autism and the families that have loved them and taken a lot of hits while trying to get someone to take them seriously that kids with autism when they reached the age of 21 did not disappear and fall off the radar. It has been a long journey to get where we are today and still have a long way to go.

A wise women once said, "We know our stories are not GOOD stories, but we tell them to you so YOU can one day tell us good stories." Read, read and read. Talk to others, join support groups like ours. You are an individual and not everything U hear or read will apply to YOU and your PARTNER. That is how it should be. Use the information U feel relevant to your situation and discard the rest. Bleak? Our divorce rate is very high and that is because families are still just finding out there is AS in THEIR family and sorting it all out. Your generation is lucky as U have information available to you that we didn't years ago as we were all on the learning curve trying to sort it out.

Don't shoot the messenger as they are just telling THEIR story which does not have to be YOUR story. There are many good mixed relationships. There are many not so good. I just had a request to link a book by a man with AS that is titled: The Sky is falling by Hartley. His intro: The Sky Is Falling is a memoir in which the author tells of his battle with Asperser’s syndrome and anxiety disorder. A young man struggling to get through elementary school, then high school, and finally college gives a glimpse into his troubled mind and life. This is a man with AS, his journey, his story. Our job like reporters is just to tell OUR story and hopefully one day you can finish YOUR story to us with a good ending as that is what support is all about. Max does good work. She gets it like Tony. I am sorry the message was not what U were looking for. Take some time and digest it all. The very BEST.