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Re: Marie

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Hi Marie,

I can sympathize with you and understand the frustration. I am not sure if I

am doing all the things I need to do for my son either. I do know I am doing

the best that I can. He didn't come with directions. I can say that there were

many things I didn't do for my typical children that I would have liked to do

but didn't. I can't dwell on it. My son was just diagnosed after bringing him

to countless evaluations. I always knew he wasn't the average DS kid if there

is such a stereotype. It didn't make a difference. I have all the supports in

place anyway. My son is stubborn beyond words. My son is 11 and wouldn't clean

his room even after a month. I don't think he has the cognitive ability to

organize the steps to do it without me. I clean his room and ask him if he could

help me. He does sometimes maybe picking up a sock. I praise him anyway even

though I don't feel that way. It's not worth the battle to me. I learned never

to get into a power struggle with him. I wouldn't win. I give him choices so

he can have some control over his life. I do feel that you are in need of a

behavior plan. I would try to find a behaviorist to help you. We have tried some

meds but there is no such thing as a magic pill without a behavioral plan in

place. I use constant praise for the smallest of tasks. If Zeb is happy and

feeling comfortable life is good. When I least expect him to do anything he

surprises me by making his bed. It looks terrible but I tell him how great it is

etc. He may get it right in ten years. I know how much my child cannot do

compared to many other children but I can't focus on that. I would make myself

crazy. I concentrate on what my child can do and rejoice in the small steps that

he makes. I know from experience that I cannot put demands on Zeb. It just

doesn't work with him. sounds similiar. Our guys are not easy. I get

frustrated many times myself. I think that's a very normal feeling esp on a bad

day.

I think the group can help you and . Hang in there.

Charlyne

Mom to Zeb 11 DS/OCD

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  • 1 month later...
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In a message dated 6/3/2004 9:52:23 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

chiani72@... writes:

> I need answers, I need this medical system and school system to help

> me. If they are SO MANY supports out there for kids with special

> needs then WHY wont they help? I spend most of my time filling out

> papers, answering histories and driving to doctors and the results

> of those efforts are drug him to the eyeballs and or put him in time

> out.

>

Hi Marie,

I hope your feeling better. I can't think of a worse situation when the kids

are having issues and we are not doing well ourselves. My son is always at his

worst when he knows I am not well. My son also had some of the same behaviors

that has. The spitting made me nuts. Most of the behaviors were the

results of school staff trying to sabotage the inclusive program that I insisted

on. They were going to do whatever it took to show me I was wrong. I would

first look at 's school program. If he is miserable the behaviors will be

carried over at home. Once I was able to get the school program in check Zeb's

overall behavior improved dramically but it still tok time. We still have our

days but....one day at a time. I was forced to remove him from the bus a few

years ago. He would love to take the bus but with the noise etc it may just set

him up for a poor school day. It's one area that I can control. Our kids just

can't help what they do. We need to make the changes so they can adapt and

adjust. I wouldn't feel guilty none of us are perfect. I have made many mistakes

but dare not dwell on it or I would be useless to help Zeb. I am constantly

using rewards at home for good behavior. It's works for us. It's not always

anything big but renting a special video, taking a walk by ourselves, playing a

game etc. I punish by taking things away but only in small increments that is

immediate and for a very short time. He still has his days but more good than

bad. I get tired, lose patience and wonder if I can keep the day to day pace but

the feelings pass. Yours will too. Hoping for better days.

Charlyne

Mom to Zeb 11 DS/OCD/ASD?

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In a message dated 6/3/2004 4:17:47 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

chiani72@... writes:

> I am

> starting to think cannot ride a regular school bus. The radio

> drives him nuts and its such a bumpy ride, maybe its time to look at

> a van.

>

Hi Marie,

What radio? If the bus driver plays a radio that's not good. It would start

my son's day on the wrong path. I can't even play the radio in the car. Just

something to consider. W all worry about the future, just take it one day at a

time.

Charlyne

Mom to Zeb 11 DS/OCD/ASD?

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest guest

hmmm nathan loves to listen to the radio with me in the car. but buses

shoulnt be palying them harder to hear whats goin on with the kids i would

think.

shawna

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