lindsi

[Guest guest]

I am angry at lindsi because she expects me to make decisions for her.

1, yes she asks me what she should do?

2, no i'm not sure she has a expectation

3, I feel frustrated and I end up giving her advice that leaves me

feeling drained and uncomfortable, I feel overwhelmed by her phone

calls and I notice I try and fix her or make suggestions aout what her

options are.

I treat heR like a little child who needs to be guided, I don't trust

that she can find her own way, I withdraw and don't want to see her

for a few days, I expect her to take my advice or leave me alone.i get

irritated by her.I think she should grow up and work it out on her own.

I get to hold on to a pattern of relating that doesn't work for me, i

get to notice that sometimes when i don't say anything she thinks i'm

not listening and so i say something because i think she expects it of

me, ohhh I get to believe that if I do't offer her advice that she

wo't like me.

I'm in her business

I would listen to what she actually says , I would notice that she's

never actually told me to make a decision for her, I would back of and

trust she can find her own way, I wouldn't try and fix her, I would

stay in my own business.

I would feel more peaceful and calm, I wouldn't answer the telephone

if i wasn't in the mood to talk, I would feel ok talking to her and

not offering advice, I might even ask her if there was anyway cold

help if i felt that way inclined. I would enjoy her company.

she doesn't expect me to make decisions for her

1, no she asks my advice because she values what i have to say

2,she's never told me she wants me to make a decision for her

3, maybe having me relect back to her whats goin on helps her make a

decision.

I expect her to make a decision for her

1, Truer I get very frustrated when she can't make up her mind.

2, yer maybe she just gets confused about making decisions for her and

she finds it helpful to talk to me to sort things out

3, yes i am noticing how i find it hard to make decisions for me and i

ask other people and so i'm projecing this out there on her so that i

can feel better.

I expect her to make a decision for me

1, yes in the past i have expected others to sort it out for me

2, yes so i don't feel uncomfortable about her not making decisions

3, i've definitely waited for her to decide to do something before

i've decided to do it with her.

I expect me to make a decision for me

1, true i've given myself a hard time when i can't make a decision

2,I've called friends and asked them what they think