Guest guest Posted March 25, 2010 Report Share Posted March 25, 2010 Saturn: The Wise Guy “Beware, beware, beware!†drones Saturn, but he means it. He's wearing his black and grey pinstriped overalls today and his beard is yellowing. “Beware of righteousness! Have you ever been deceived by an empty milk carton that looked virgin, proud and full? or broken into an empty egg — that old child's trick? Let me tell you something the minute you think you have the last brick, stitch, or word, I see a light on the computer over there. Then I know it's time overripe for the Undoing. I may move slowly, dearie, but I never missed an Undoing yet.†It's sort of my specialty, don't you know! He chuckles tries to light a pipe but the match burns to its end as he talks. “Beware of judging ! There is a fence of rulers around my place each one labeled with a name. I saw yours the other day. Yup, it's getting longer that's good. What's it for? To measure you with your own measure at the end. Oh, judging is the hardest thing to avoid! People do it all the time. I know. That's why I don't touch it. Never. Never. I let folks do it for themselves. The judge is there all right but the worst of it is he will be wearing your face! That's a terrible shock for most folk. It gets 'em every time. Mebbe that's why it's called The Last Judgment. Nobody, I reckon, wants to try that twice! “Beware of forcing! That always makes for a mess. You get mad stamp on a plank and it hits you. You steal and find yourself robbed of sleep. You lie and end up trusting nobody. It don't pay. It's not just a matter of this Save-your-soul bit. It's just playing it smart both ways. The way I see it virtue is enlightened self-interest. “I'm thinking of putting up two big signs somewhere: NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, FOR FREE! YOU GITS WHAT YOU GIVES! I could sign it Karma to show we're up to date around here. But folks won't go for this. No money in it. All this buy now, pay later — SIN ON THE INSTALLMENT PLAN! They could call it Stupidity-of-the-Day have a Stupidity-of-the-Month-Club With a Free Sin for a Bonus. Now that might sell real good. "Save up for that nice trip to where it's WARM!" Get it? He rubbed his hands over that one. Nah, that's too new-fangled. Here we have crime make its own punishment. “Switch that light on, will you. See each shadow fits the substance. Neat. Oh, it's all in the good books, all right. We play fair around here. But nowadays folks think it's junk mail or advertising, I hear. I'm not much of a reader myself. My specialty is the hard way, don't you know. “Beware, beware, beware! drones Saturn, his rheumy eyes looking at me. he holds out his arms not unkindly. Come here, little girl, let me look at you. You haven't understood one word, have you! Don't matter, you'll go your own way of course. Only don't come running to me, hear? I'll only tell you I told you so†a.o.howell Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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