Missing people

[Guest guest]

Hi Facy,

I've been thinking about this, the concept of missing someone or

something - it's an area I've not seem much on and have difficulty

with myself. For example, the last few days I have missed my parents

a lot.

So I'd appreciate your thoughts and anyone else's on working with

'missing'.

Mine are that it could be possible to get more specific about what I

feel is being missed - if the person were here right now I'd be....

happier, safer, more secure, etc.

Also, to try and find the first memory of this feeling of missing

someone - go back to that memory and work with that.

Lastly, there is another possible turnaround for your inquiry - " my

thinking misses her " - when it has the story of she should have done

things differently or be different, my thinking " misses " who she

really is, rather than how it believes she should be.

> >

> > > who would you be without that thought?

> > > im not quite sure..

> > > i guess id be more present to those feelings and wouldnt have a

story

> > > for them.. although id probebly find one.. id probebly think theres

> > > something wrong with me .. or that im sick or something..

> >

> > This is not really picturing yourself without the thought. It

> appears to me

> > as if that is just a continuation of when you are thinking the

> thought. If

> > you can close your eyes and really imagine who you would be

without the

> > thought, it may be really helpful. I find that part very powerful of

> letting

> > go.

> >

> > The moment you have " guess " and " although " and " probably " you are

> not doing

> > the work anymore.

> >

>

> it seems to me like you project your own concept and understanding

> onto my issue.

> i really thought deep about this one and really wanted to be honest

> and not mechanically doing the work like it supposed to look.. but

> seriously answer the question.. which is who would i be without the

> thought.

> you see.. i have this terrible feelings like sickness since it was

> over between us.. but i was so angry at her for fucking someone else

> that i never allowed myself to miss her.. i thought she doesn't

> deserve it.. so for this past week i actually didn't have the thought

> i miss her .. i just felt horrible.. and thought something is wrong

> with me unrelated, and that i have a mental disease, and iv found

> myself behaving strangely in company.. and more and more..

> it reminds me that one time my cat has bitten me, and it was a serious

> bite, and i couldn't use my hand so well .. and after two weeks when

> the surface of the hand has healed.. it was still painful to use the

> hand, so i went to the doctor and told her that there something wrong

> with my hand.. that i think a more serious damage was caused.. i

> feared that this byte has torn some internal organ in my hand that ill

> forever experience pain.. she looked at the hand and told me, it

> simply hasn't healed yet ..

> and after two more weeks it did, and the hand is fine.

> i think that the way i was harried to be healed and get past that hand

> thing .. i was harried to get over my breakup with this girl.. never

> allowed myself to grieve her or miss her..

> so yes, this is still my answer to question 4, if i didn't have the

> thought that i miss her (which i didn't till now).. it wouldn't mean

> that i would be happy and joyful, i simply wouldn't have the story to

> explain why i feel this way.. i dont precieve this thought to be the

> cuase of my suffering.

> but it is true that i miss her .. i simply didn't realize it.

>