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Re: Gareth

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Yes ,you need to do what you think is right.

My problem with cursing/others personally abusing me/others is more that it

doesnt really SAY anything.

Its more my frustration that i cant get to the issue,or to what the person is

saying,if all that comes out is meaningless cursings.

So any offense is more to do with these frustrations than a sense of personal

offense.

If someone is angry at me,i just want to understand it.

I dont understand what sent him off?

I read the post he was responding to..and i dont get it??

That bothers me,

not least of all for his sake too,to have such rage in him,now its

unreconcilable.

Can anyone help me understand a bit better.?

I hate to see people kicked off,as its leaving things unreconciled., I,myself

being kicked off another list,which is still a complete puzzle to me..i hate

that..for everyones sakes.,but if he wont *communicate*the actual issue

I suppose you have no choice,

anna-the puzzled

Klein wrote:

To all:

Gareth is no longer a member of this list.

He has established a pattern of scary misogynistic comments on and off

this list, and it is my personal opinion that it may go beyond simple

words in this case. This is a sick person, and I'm not his therapist.

I meant what I wrote in the response I wrote to him before I booted

him. If I thought they were just words, I would have moderated him; in

this case, I think that this was the right thing for me to do. He

crossed a line-- it is that simple.

I apologize to those of you (Jypsy, Jeanette) he attacked.

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anna wim wrote:

> So any offense is more to do with these frustrations than a sense of

> personal offense. If someone is angry at me,i just want to understand

> it.

>

> I dont understand what sent him off? I read the post he was

> responding to..and i dont get it??

He has problems with females. This is not the first time this kind of

thing has popped up with him.

> That bothers me, not least of all for his sake too,to have such rage

> in him,now its unreconcilable.

I was already watching him, after reports of predatory and misogynistic

behavior elsewhere, as well as seeing that he very clearly was doing the

same here.

> I hate to see people kicked off,as its leaving things unreconciled.,

> I,myself being kicked off another list,which is still a complete

> puzzle to me..i hate that..for everyones sakes.,but if he wont

> *communicate*the actual issue I suppose you have no choice,

The issue is that he hates females. That's not acceptable.

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At 06:14 PM 2/11/2004 -0700, you wrote:

>To all:

>

>Gareth is no longer a member of this list.

>

>He has established a pattern of scary misogynistic comments on and off

>this list, and it is my personal opinion that it may go beyond simple

>words in this case. This is a sick person, and I'm not his therapist.

>I meant what I wrote in the response I wrote to him before I booted

>him. If I thought they were just words, I would have moderated him; in

>this case, I think that this was the right thing for me to do. He

>crossed a line-- it is that simple.

>

>I apologize to those of you (Jypsy, Jeanette) he attacked.

>

>

I'm sorry. I had no intention of fighting my way back here to be a shit

disturber.

I never had a problem with Gareth. I accidently offended him once when he

misunderstood what I had meant (story of my life) but I quickly sorted that

out off list and he knew darn well I never intentionally offend anyone. My

first reaction to his comment was to take back the " bonus points " I had

given him last time I was here (Dec 2 - " Gareth gets the 50 bonus points " )

until I remembered why I had given them to him (for his comment " And Jypsy,

it only seemed like a little thing from the outside where i am, maybe you

also are offended more than you ordinarily would be for some reason? " ) and

realized maybe a " hang in there " would be more appropriate. , you're

obviously more " informed " than I and it's your list, your line to draw. I

have read very little here since early Dec ... I've not been well...

(rather harsh, negative connotation you attached to some of those words you

threw at Gareth but they might well describe me, hope you won't send me

packing.....)

-jypsy

________________________________

Ooops....Wrong Planet! Syndrome

Autism Spectrum Resources

www.PlanetAutism.com

jypsy@...

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jypsy [ janet norman-bain ] wrote:

> I'm sorry.

No need to be.

> I had no intention of fighting my way back here to be a

> shit disturber.

You were not.

> (rather harsh, negative

> connotation you attached to some of those words you threw at Gareth

> but they might well describe me, hope you won't send me packing.....)

I was being nice with those words. There is more to this story, and if

the people that know the rest of it wish to say what they know, that is

up to them.

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> ,

> What a terrible terrible thing to happen to you.

> Thank you for giving others the chance to ,in some small way,imagine

> the horror of such a violent abuse of your free will and dignity.

> If you havent written off all males because of what one did,i

> congratulate you for not falling into the " bigotry " trap.

>

> I hope Gareth doesnt either.

> So glad you are alive.!You are precious.

> anna

Don't know about the precious part. I know at the time, I was struggling

with my voice as it was and unconsciously fought never speaking again

i.e. being mute forever, I still fight it. At every stressor. I have a

hard time with certain males. I try not to think that all males with

greasy hair, or hairy males, or males with dark blur garage pants, etc.

are scary. Thats hogwash. But it took awhile to rewire myself. Its a

little the same with gareth, like grouping all NT women who have abusers

into a category and hating them.

The sad thing is, it wasn't against my free will: i got in the car

willingly.

I was not dx'ed then. I was lured in by weed. I wanted it and liked his

voice which was alluring, sweet and kind. I was 14 but should've known

have known better.

Things spiraled out of control very very quickly. I stopped blaming

myself when I was 26. But I only blame him now, and not " everyman. " And

not every dark-blue garage panted person I see. I used to, you know. That

was wiring. believe me when I got a diagnosis I came to realize that I

was an easy target because my naivete made me that. It got me in trouble.

AND I believed that being high would change me from wide-eyed furniture

in a room full of peers to a talkative normal person and it didn't. He

plied me with a coke spoon (quite unwillingly) and I left my bike there.

I just kind of walked weaving all over the road and showered and didnt

tell. i flooded the downstairs too. And caught hell.

A plumber thought I was stupid when he came and said I was dumb for

leaving the shower curtain out and shook his head at me.

Precious, ah,

Kim

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