Guest guest Posted November 11, 2006 Report Posted November 11, 2006 Oh, Laurel! I'm so glad you wrote. I'm one of the few posters who has to spend time at nada's every once in awhile, as I get setup for more independence--so I know almost exactly how you feel. My nada also likes to bang around in the kitchen and cook breakfast--presumably she is being 'nice' to me, right? Cooking me a nice breakfast. Except lo and behold, it's always something that makes me sick--something I am allergic to, or meat if she thinks I'm a vegetarian ... whatever! And her favorite trick is to bring the dog upstairs, before I am awake, acting like the dog wanted to see me. Either way she insists on waking me before I am naturally up--because, like you said, SHE is up, and so it's time for everyone to be. And to look at her, and listen to her. And my nada also is constantly talking. Literally, she does not shut up for even one second--and it is always either obscenely banal, abusive, or prejudiced, or judgmental and insulting, or just plain childish (oh! I broke a nail! I'm cold, I'm tired, I'm hungry, my throat hurts....) Literally the babble of a three year old. It annoys the heck out of me. It is not communication; it is her desperate attempt to keep all eyes on her, at all times. It is manipulation, and it is selfish of her. I encourage you to post as regularly as you can during this visit, even if you feel a little guilt or strangeness (you'll learn to fight that as time goes by). We are here to help you see what is distortion, what Oz land is, and to verify that wicked implication truly WAS implied--that you are NOT too sensitive, selfish and/or mean and hateful. All the best Charlie > > Hi All, > > As I write this I can hear my Nada's voice downstairs > in the kitchen...she has been thumping around all > morning (trying to get me out of bed no doubt...cant > pay her attention while i am sleeping)... > > it is so strange being here now...so many thing i have > read from all of your stories have been coming back to > me since i arrived...the one thing that has been so > blatant to be is that my mothers constant chatter and > request for attention is her checking to see if she > still exists...i am not sure how i figured that out > but it sounded like it must be the truth in my > head...hmmm... > > it is so sad to see that my brother (who lives at > " home " ) is still on the BP roller coaster...but so > happy to know that because the parents are moving he > will be out on his own soon..or living with > dad..either way BP free... > > I have just learned that my BP sister is moving into > the basement of the house my Nada is moving into...oh > let the chaos reign... > > ok..i think i am rambling now and my fingers cant go > any faster typing (always scared of being caught in > this act of betrayal...) > > So thanks for this (my reality check for the day...) > back to Oz i go... > > Laurel EcMc > > __________________________________________________ > Quote
Guest guest Posted November 11, 2006 Report Posted November 11, 2006 You Go, Laurel!! We're all thinking of you. It is only for a little while longer that you will be there and I was taken aback by your insight into your nada when you wrote, " the one thing that has been so blatant to be is that my mothers constant chatter and request for attention is her checking to see if she still exists...i am not sure how i figured that out but it sounded like it must be the truth in my head.. " That is so true. Aren't you glad that you don't have BPD and can leave it all behind. Remember the walks for your health. WE all have ribbons on (white). ;o) Keep taking great care of yourself, Greg. at " home " Hi All, As I write this I can hear my Nada's voice downstairs in the kitchen...she has been thumping around all morning (trying to get me out of bed no doubt...cant pay her attention while i am sleeping)... it is so strange being here now...so many thing i have read from all of your stories have been coming back to me since i arrived...the one thing that has been so blatant to be is that my mothers constant chatter and request for attention is her checking to see if she still exists...i am not sure how i figured that out but it sounded like it must be the truth in my head...hmmm. .. it is so sad to see that my brother (who lives at " home " ) is still on the BP roller coaster...but so happy to know that because the parents are moving he will be out on his own soon..or living with dad..either way BP free... I have just learned that my BP sister is moving into the basement of the house my Nada is moving into...oh let the chaos reign... ok..i think i am rambling now and my fingers cant go any faster typing (always scared of being caught in this act of betrayal...) So thanks for this (my reality check for the day...) back to Oz i go... Laurel EcMc ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __ Quote
Guest guest Posted November 12, 2006 Report Posted November 12, 2006 Laurel, you're so right to be using those quotes around the word " home " !! We're all with you, in spirit, back here in the real world. Please remember the weekend's almost over -- and give yourself reality breaks by posting here when you can! And yeah -- I think you're right about the waking you up and the constant chatter being manifestations of BPD. My nada does the same thing -- constantly reporting even the most trivial thoughts as they pop into her head. I think of it as being like Tourette's -- she really can't control herself! As much as you can, try not to take it personally -- that really helps me, anyway. By the way, one time my nada really embarrassed herself with this behavior. My favorite uncle was spending the night at her apartment, sleeping on her couch. I guess she forgot he was there, because at 3 a.m. she stormed into the room, switched on the lights, and announced out loud: " God, I need a man. " My uncle's response was, laughing: " Well, it ain't gonna be me! " He loves to tell this story... it's kind of famous in our foo, even though nobody but me knows that she does this all the time -- or why! Stay strong -- and remember to be extra nice to yourself this weekend. It's almost over! Shana at " home " To: WTOAdultChildren1 > Hi All, > > As I write this I can hear my Nada's voice downstairs > in the kitchen...she has been thumping around all > morning (trying to get me out of bed no doubt...cant > pay her attention while i am sleeping)... > > it is so strange being here now...so many thing i have > read from all of your stories have been coming back to > me since i arrived...the one thing that has been so > blatant to be is that my mothers constant chatter and > request for attention is her checking to see if she > still exists...i am not sure how i figured that out > but it sounded like it must be the truth in my > head...hmmm... > > it is so sad to see that my brother (who lives at > " home " ) is still on the BP roller coaster...but so > happy to know that because the parents are moving he > will be out on his own soon..or living with > dad..either way BP free... > > I have just learned that my BP sister is moving into > the basement of the house my Nada is moving into...oh > let the chaos reign... > > ok..i think i am rambling now and my fingers cant go > any faster typing (always scared of being caught in > this act of betrayal...) > > So thanks for this (my reality check for the day...) > back to Oz i go... > > Laurel EcMc > > __________________________________________________ > Quote
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