Guest guest Posted November 15, 2006 Report Share Posted November 15, 2006 Thanks, non-BP! I am so very grateful for my in-laws, who have patiently role modeled (not preached!) how a healthy family conducts itself for the last 20 years. They are unselfish and generous with their time and their love. Nothing in this world pleases them more than getting a note in the mail or a phone call from one of my children. Or spending time with us.... I am also grateful that I was able to break the cycle of child- rearing that I was subjected to, and I am raising a happy family, if I do say so myself! Not perfect, of course, but happy. Secure. Protected. My kids know I care. They bring their worries to the table because they know it's safe to talk to me or their dad. Home is their safe place. (In the interest of full disclosure, I will say that hormones are starting to take over my sweet children and morph them into something a little less cheerful and a little snappy!! But, I know they need to separate from us and become their own independent people, so I'll bear with it! I plan on handling this stage of their lives differently than my nada did with me, of course!) It's bittersweet isn't it?, because it just reminds us of what we didn't have as children, but again, I'm grateful I got a 2nd chance at the " family thing " .... {Hugs} -Kyla > > > > > > WTH, > > > > > > No, the BPD describes their feelings of emptiness > > in terms of > > annihilation ~ if you aren't there or anyone, they > > won't exist(that > > is what is in their unconscious - consciously it > > comes across as a > > rage, fear/terror, or abuse). This is because they > > are not > > connected to their core being. Non-BPDs recovering > > from the BPD's > > abuse were abused and still have their core being > > intact. We feel > > empty during going n/c or at different times in our > > lives, but empty > > is a different feeling than annihilation = not going > > to exist and > > there will be no trace that you ever did > > exist/destroyed without a > > trace. Some of my BPD friends have told me that is > > how they feel; > > that they would be destroyed without a trace, as if > > they never > > existed. That would be terrifying, but it still is > > no excuse in my > > book to go rage or abuse somebody. Party not. > > > > > > Greg. > > > > > > > > > identity (was: the > > criteria from the > > DSM IV (what psychologists use to diagnosis) > > > > > > Thanks for this, it is really interesting. I am > > especially curious > > about the identity problems. I guess this means that > > the BP feels > > empty, like they don't exist. Is that similar to how > > us Nons feel > > until we begin to heal? > > > Also, there is this word " integrating " that people > > on this > > listserv use. I am curious what it means to not have > > an identity and > > then to grow into one--does anyone know what this > > means at the > > psychological level? > > > > > > WTH. > > > > > > ------------ --------- --------- --- > > > Check out the all-new Yahoo! Mail beta - Fire up a > > more powerful > > email and get things done faster. > > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > > removed] > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > > removed] > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > _____________________________________________________________________ _______________ > Yahoo! Music Unlimited > Access over 1 million songs. > http://music.yahoo.com/unlimited > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.