Re: Chronic sorrow is a potential barrier to parental understanding of their child's care and diagnosis.

[Guest guest]

Dear Jane,

I figured you were referring to a song outside my repertoire. I know our

type of sense of humour and enjoyed it without knowing the song. :-)

Just saw a Gray Larsen comic strip with a man that wakes up in the

morning and sees a big sign on the wall: " Pants FIRST, shoes second " or

something to that effect. Who doesn't have that kind of sin in his/her

life with autism? :-)))

I love Larsen. And my sister loves to quote songs from our common

repertoire of songs. I'm more into quoting Astérix as I am of French

origin - one has to know their classics!

Hilsen (Greetings),

Denmark

christine@...

Æblevangen 17

2765 Smørum

44 66 02 17

24 24 12 17

Re: Chronic sorrow is a potential barrier

to parental understanding of their child's care and diagnosis.

I wrote:

>Was I the only one who, after reading the article's title,

>started singing: " I am a mom of chronic sorrow " ?

and responded:

>Knowledge about chronic sorrow is what keeps me from going under at

>times. I know the sun will shine again, I know that it is a special

>extra we get as parents of a child with autism or whatever. Sometimes I

>wonder if there isn't sorrow for one self. Nobody seems to investigate

>that. Maybe because it is called being disappointed wiht yourself and

>crystalizes itself in depression

I was talking to someone about that the other day, the fact

that most peopole as teenagers have not yet achieved the

" knowledge about chronic sorrow " to undderstand that " the

sun will shine again. " Unfortunately, without that

understanding, the burden can seem so unendurable that

suicide looks like a good alternative.

I did want to note that my previous post (quoted above)

is humorous only for those familiar with the formerly

well-known folk song (or folk-type song, I'm not sure)

" Man of Constand Sorrow. " It begins: " I am a man of

constant sorrow, I've seen trouble all my days.... " (or,

" I am a maid of constant sorrow, " if a female is

singing it).

I was playing with words (inevitable for those with " my

kind of autism " ), not in any way belittling the sorrows

and difficulties faced by parents.

Jane

[Guest guest]

jypsy wrote:

> so what makes my husband and I immune from this grief

> and chronic sorrow?

Ooh-ooh! I know this one! Understanding and acceptance.

Clay

[Guest guest]

jypsy wrote:

" so what makes my husband and I immune from this grief and chronic

sorrow? "

Clay wrote:

" Ooh-ooh! I know this one! Understanding and acceptance. "

I think:

How true!!!!!!!!!! Wish it could be there all the time...

Hilsen,

christine@...

Æblevangen 17

2765 Smørum

44 66 02 17

24 24 12 17

[Guest guest]

Yes, parents who think you are wonderful are a godsend for

aspies/autistics.

Hilsen,

christine@...

Æblevangen 17

2765 Smørum

44 66 02 17

24 24 12 17

Re: Re: Chronic sorrow is a potential

barrier to parental understanding of their child's care and diagnosis.

Jane Meyerding jotted this down:

> gprobs wrote:

>> ...i think society pressures

>> parents to feel that they have to produce offspring that will conform

>>and

>> contribute economically.  similarly it " punishes " parents whose

offspring

>> require more resources or who may not contribute economicaly to

society.  

>> to me, this is a very limitted view of " contribution to society " .

>> 

> 

> Agreed. And I think parents also must grieve at times when they think

>of the

> problems their " non-standard " children are going to encounter

throughout

> life, through no fault of their own.

I wonder if my parents grieved and just never showed it, or if they just

didn't grieve at all. They seemed to spend most of their energy being

happy at what I did do, rather than when I did it or when others did it.

They went out to dinner to celebrate (despite having been divorced for

almost two decades) when they figured out I'd had sex for the first

time!

--

DeGraf ~*~ http://www.sonic.net/mustang/moggy