Guest guest Posted May 25, 2004 Report Share Posted May 25, 2004 Camilla, Thank you so much for your kind sympathetic advice. Believe me when I say that my fiance is truly a wonderful man. However if ever a term lazy could be used for anyone it would be him. when I was well I used to work crazy hours come home and clean untill I went to bed. Now my fiance has two months off a year, and it would kill me when I would come home from work and the house would be in shambles. He never cleaned anything. And now my frustration mounts, because he has no concept of cleaning and it is close to impossible for me to clean. I cannot believe he does not remember me the way I used to be, as if he thinks that it is some sort of choice that I have. I love him with all my heart and cannot imagine being with anyone else. and I know nothing is ever going to change in this department. I tried to ask him if we could get a house keeper. But no, that is out of the question because it is too expensive. I said even if it is once a month it would help tremendously. But he can say no to that but spend 55 dollars a month so he can play x-box live. Go figure, whats a girl to do when in this condition, sincerely, Jana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 25, 2004 Report Share Posted May 25, 2004 Jana, I am so sorry to disagree with you. Your fiancée is not a wonderful man.. he is a very selfish, uncaring man. You are an unwell lady... neither of you will improve. If he has so little thought for you now what will he like as you both grow older? I know I sound like an old grouch but you really do need someone who cares how you feel and will make life easier for you. You would be better off on your own than with someone who doesn't mind that you hurt and are unable to cope. I rarely post and only write now because I care about you and everyone here. Life is tough enough with FM without a mean minded fiancée/husband. love Penny Shrewsbury UK Re: to Camilla Camilla, Thank you so much for your kind sympathetic advice. Believe me when I say that my fiance is truly a wonderful man. However if ever a term lazy could be used for anyone it would be him. when I was well I used to work crazy hours come home and clean untill I went to bed. Now my fiance has two months off a year, and it would kill me when I would come home from work and the house would be in shambles. He never cleaned anything. And now my frustration mounts, because he has no concept of cleaning and it is close to impossible for me to clean. I cannot believe he does not remember me the way I used to be, as if he thinks that it is some sort of choice that I have. I love him with all my heart and cannot imagine being with anyone else. and I know nothing is ever going to change in this department. I tried to ask him if we could get a house keeper. But no, that is out of the question because it is too expensive. I said even if it is once a month it would help tremendously. But he can say no to that but spend 55 dollars a month so he can play x-box live. Go figure, whats a girl to do when in this condition, sincerely, Jana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 25, 2004 Report Share Posted May 25, 2004 Jana: Without knowing you or your fiance' personally, I have to agree that he sounds very selfish. My fibro has improved because I started a new protoco= l from Dr. Lowe (www.drlowe.com) and at my worse, I was on Duragesic, OxyContin, and bedridden. My fiance' met me three months after my diagnosis and was nothing but understanding and helpful, doing all the housework, laundry, grocery shopping, driving, etc. Even when I am grouchy= , he usually knows and says it's because I'm hurting. He is not a clean person by any means! But he did what it took to keep us = together and to survive. Even through the middle of this, he lost his lucr= ative job and didn't work for almost a year. I went on short term disability and= was denied long term for two years. We were broke. If you can get through this= type of adversity, you can get through anything. I think you're fiance' ha= s shown his true colors. However, you teach people how to treat you, and you= have taught him how to treat you. Get the darn housekeeper and let HIM figure out how to pay his x-box crap. = Order groceries through the grocery store and have them DELIVERED. Big chains do this now. You ought to act like you are the only one making decisions and are own your own, because YOU are. I am only saying this because it looks really bad.... wendy - In Fibromyalgia_Support_Group , <ygo65@d...> wrote: > Jana, > > I am so sorry to disagree with you. Your fiancée is not a wonderful man.= .. he is a very selfish, uncaring man. You are an unwell lady... neither of yo= u will improve. If he has so little thought for you now what will he like as you = both grow older? I know I sound like an old grouch but you really do need someone who cares how you feel and will make life easier for you. You would be better off on your own than with someone who doesn't mind that you= hurt and are unable to cope. > > I rarely post and only write now because I care about you and everyone here. Life is tough enough with FM without a mean minded fiancée/husband.= > > love > > Penny > > Shrewsbu Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 25, 2004 Report Share Posted May 25, 2004 there are a million degrees of abuse and neglect and we remain in relationships that are not good for us for an equal multitude of reasons... i was never happy w the x who abandoned me when i was illin but i never missed him when he left... jana, you will remain where you are until your lesson is complete and we'll all support you until you shift... love is only love when it has no conditions on it, when it is given freely and wo limitation... most of us have very far to go in that department... peace from the lake, winter Re: to Camilla Camilla, Thank you so much for your kind sympathetic advice. Believe me when I say that my fiance is truly a wonderful man. However if ever a term lazy could be used for anyone it would be him. when I was well I used to work crazy hours come home and clean untill I went to bed. Now my fiance has two months off a year, and it would kill me when I would come home from work and the house would be in shambles. He never cleaned anything. And now my frustration mounts, because he has no concept of cleaning and it is close to impossible for me to clean. I cannot believe he does not remember me the way I used to be, as if he thinks that it is some sort of choice that I have. I love him with all my heart and cannot imagine being with anyone else. and I know nothing is ever going to change in this department. I tried to ask him if we could get a house keeper. But no, that is out of the question because it is too expensive. I said even if it is once a month it would help tremendously. But he can say no to that but spend 55 dollars a month so he can play x-box live. Go figure, whats a girl to do when in this condition, sincerely, Jana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 25, 2004 Report Share Posted May 25, 2004 Penny, as you will see I totally agree with you. Thanks for seconding my feeling about that humanoid....I can't call him a man. Hugs, Camilla Re: to Camilla Camilla, Thank you so much for your kind sympathetic advice. Believe me when I say that my fiance is truly a wonderful man. However if ever a term lazy could be used for anyone it would be him. when I was well I used to work crazy hours come home and clean untill I went to bed. Now my fiance has two months off a year, and it would kill me when I would come home from work and the house would be in shambles. He never cleaned anything. And now my frustration mounts, because he has no concept of cleaning and it is close to impossible for me to clean. I cannot believe he does not remember me the way I used to be, as if he thinks that it is some sort of choice that I have. I love him with all my heart and cannot imagine being with anyone else. and I know nothing is ever going to change in this department. I tried to ask him if we could get a house keeper. But no, that is out of the question because it is too expensive. I said even if it is once a month it would help tremendously. But he can say no to that but spend 55 dollars a month so he can play x-box live. Go figure, whats a girl to do when in this condition, sincerely, Jana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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