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http://tinyurl.com/38y5u ~ This theory sure works for me! I think

we all might explain this to those who are bothered by our gaze

aversion. It might help folks overcome their uneasiness as we

avert eyes or fight to keep eye contact as our natural impulse is

to avert. I do spend a LOT of energy jerking my eyes back to

make contact! <g> It clearly uses energy I might better use

elsewhere. If I am able to explain that I am processing better

with eyes averted or shut, it may well eliminate some friction that

I've noticed in people I work with over the years. Definitely will

save me some wasted energy in battling my natural impulse to

avert! Thanks to Kathleen for this item! <vbg> -Zer

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

> Shifty Eyed Children: A shifty-eyed child is a little bit smarter

than the rest. A new study shows that children who avert their

gaze while adults are speaking to them may in fact be

concentrating on taking in the facts rather than being distracted

by someone's face.

>

http://www.broughtonhall.com/Leading_Edge/internal/shiftyeyedc

hildren.htm

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> Zer wrote:

> >...If I am able to explain that I am processing better

> >with eyes averted or shut, it may well eliminate some friction that

> >I've noticed in people I work with over the years. Definitely will

> >save me some wasted energy in battling my natural impulse to

> >avert!

However you will spend much more energy trying to convince people of this.

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Time? Just to express that I have difficulty processing info if I

look into a person's eyes? I don't think that takes long to say.

Better than having people think to themselves that I'm being

evasive and dishonest or even flirting with them. All that can

keep a person from hearing the words that I'm saying. Fretting

about what the Other is thinking might even interfere with my own

communication. I think I'll just offer the gaze-aversion info early

on in any exchange, as I emphasize my interest in giving good

attention to the subject at hand. Processing info is a good way to

put this, as the world is more and more aware of computer lingo

and how processing is a euphemism for thinking. I think this

can work for me. I now offer info on Asperger's to people I meet,

making it clear that this is a new field for me and I'm just starting

to learn. That keeps me from having to elaborate. Anyone can

do their own research, should they wish to know more. So far, I

hit more denial. People do not want to think that a friend is at all

autistic. Most of my friends tell me that EVERYONE has hurdles

in life, blah blah blah. I nod my head and proceed with whatever

our biz is, letting them own their denial. It's theirs. My own vast

RELIEF is my personal delight. Yay for me! -Zer(SoCal Aspy

who does not feel quite the burden to 'convince' folks as I used to

feel; that burden's a bit much to carry on my new Aspy adventure)

> > >...If I am able to explain that I am processing

better with eyes averted or shut, it may well eliminate some

friction that I've noticed in people I work with over the years.

Definitely will save me some wasted energy in battling my

natural impulse to avert!

>

> However you will spend much more energy trying to convince

people of this.

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