relationships

[Guest guest]

OK, since Kathy gave me this great plug, I feel called upon to comment <G>

The best way to have a good relationship is to feel good about yourself, and be

OK with being without one. The very best fall in your lap when you least expect

it! Trying too hard is a big turn off to most.

I've been divorced since 1984, have dated and had several long term

relationships since. I've no desire to marry again, so that suits me fine.

As far as how to introduce our inconveniences - I have the advantage (if you

want to call it that) of looking disabled. After I get to know someone and we

seem to be clicking, I'll bring up that I have a form of spina bifida - and

leave it at that, unless he asks questions, which I answer honestly.

If we're about to become intimate for the first time, I'll say something to the

effect that I've got body parts that have no sensation, and others that are so

sensitive they are painful to touch...and I'd like to give him a guided tour of

what works and what doesn't. I'll even offer washable markers if he wants to

draw a map on me! (Be SURE they are washable <G>) Scars? They're part of me,

take it or leave it. This is the only body I have, so I might as well be

comfortable in it.

Incontinence, I rarely explain ahead of time. I'll put a towel on the bed

(there's a waterproof pad under the sheet), explaining that I leak. A swift guy

will figure out that maybe it's urine, most think you lubricate profusely! I do

eveything I can to make sure that both bowel and bladder are empty before we

start, so there is little ammunition. My main problem with that is at the moment

of peak (leak?) satisfaction.

Every man I've gotten this far with, is not disturbed if I do have an accident.

I just say that this is something that happens with the SB andnbspld he join me

in the shower. As always, inbsp asks any questions about me or nbspody, I

everythingnestly. The amount of graphic deal depends on his medical knowledge

and interest.

Life consists not in holding good cards,

But in playing those you hold well.

Josh Billings