Re: Re: Doctors who love patients. Is it okay?

[Guest guest]

But if you love too many people, when they have bad outcomes, it leads to physician burnout. We have so many losses but nowhere to grieve or heal. I think that is why many doctors like to keep arms length. To protect our own spirit, which not bottomless.

 

I knew it. Thanks for sharing Helen. This is a topic I have never seen discussed, but I had a sense many of us were saying, " I loveyou too! " at the end of appointments.Here is what a few others had to say about this from posts

on blog, FaceBook:Love begins with the decision to love. First you allow love to be possible, then you grow to where love is intentional. My patients know I love them. It begins with a shared understanding of our interconnectedness, but almost

almost always ends up being something more personal. Professional, innocent, but personal. - an RNEspecially with our senior patients, there is no medicine better than love. Phama-therapies dull the senses but

offer no emotional comfort. I exchange many " I love you " s, hold a lot of hands. The weaker the family presence, the stronger mine. It's the part of the job I don't get paid for. It's the part for which I feel the best compensated. - an MD Pamela Wible, MDBlog with me:) http://www.idealmedicalcare.org/blog/

>> > I care a lot about my patients. You may say I love my patients. Get and give hugs often. When patients tell me " I love you " , I tell them I love you too, but I won't say it first just to be professional.

> > Helen> > To: > From: roxywible@... > Date: Fri, 11 Mar 2011 09:20:14 +0000> Subject: Doctors who love patients. Is it okay?> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I'm not talking about a sexual attraction. I'm referring to sort of an

> > unconditional love, a " creative goodwill " as Luther King suggests> > we all have for one another. Professional distance never appealed to me.> > > > Falling in love with patients:

> > http://www.idealmedicalcare.org/blog/falling-in-love-with-patients/> > > > Do you think it's okay?

> > > > Is it okay to end an office visit with, " I love you. " > > Especially if patient announces this first.> > > > Do you all have patients who do this?

> > Do you have patients who want hugs> > at the end of their visits?> > > > Maybe it's more of a female thing?> > > > ~ Pamela>

> > > Pamela Wible, MD> > Blog with me:) http://www.idealmedicalcare.org/blog/>

-- M.D.www.elainemd.comOffice: Go in the directions of your dreams and live the life you've imagined.

This email transmission may contain protected and privileged, highly confidential medical, Personal and Health Information (PHI) and/or legal information. The information is intended only for the use of the individual or entity named above.

 If you are not the intended recipient of this material, you may not use, publish, discuss, disseminate or otherwise distribute it. If you are not the intended recipient, or if you have received this transmission in error, please notify the sender immediately and confidentially destroy the information that email in error.

[Guest guest]

But if you love too many people, when they have bad outcomes, it leads to physician burnout. We have so many losses but nowhere to grieve or heal. I think that is why many doctors like to keep arms length. To protect our own spirit, which not bottomless.

 

I knew it. Thanks for sharing Helen. This is a topic I have never seen discussed, but I had a sense many of us were saying, " I loveyou too! " at the end of appointments.Here is what a few others had to say about this from posts

on blog, FaceBook:Love begins with the decision to love. First you allow love to be possible, then you grow to where love is intentional. My patients know I love them. It begins with a shared understanding of our interconnectedness, but almost

almost always ends up being something more personal. Professional, innocent, but personal. - an RNEspecially with our senior patients, there is no medicine better than love. Phama-therapies dull the senses but

offer no emotional comfort. I exchange many " I love you " s, hold a lot of hands. The weaker the family presence, the stronger mine. It's the part of the job I don't get paid for. It's the part for which I feel the best compensated. - an MD Pamela Wible, MDBlog with me:) http://www.idealmedicalcare.org/blog/

>> > I care a lot about my patients. You may say I love my patients. Get and give hugs often. When patients tell me " I love you " , I tell them I love you too, but I won't say it first just to be professional.

> > Helen> > To: > From: roxywible@... > Date: Fri, 11 Mar 2011 09:20:14 +0000> Subject: Doctors who love patients. Is it okay?> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I'm not talking about a sexual attraction. I'm referring to sort of an

> > unconditional love, a " creative goodwill " as Luther King suggests> > we all have for one another. Professional distance never appealed to me.> > > > Falling in love with patients:

> > http://www.idealmedicalcare.org/blog/falling-in-love-with-patients/> > > > Do you think it's okay?

> > > > Is it okay to end an office visit with, " I love you. " > > Especially if patient announces this first.> > > > Do you all have patients who do this?

> > Do you have patients who want hugs> > at the end of their visits?> > > > Maybe it's more of a female thing?> > > > ~ Pamela>

> > > Pamela Wible, MD> > Blog with me:) http://www.idealmedicalcare.org/blog/>

-- M.D.www.elainemd.comOffice: Go in the directions of your dreams and live the life you've imagined.

This email transmission may contain protected and privileged, highly confidential medical, Personal and Health Information (PHI) and/or legal information. The information is intended only for the use of the individual or entity named above.

 If you are not the intended recipient of this material, you may not use, publish, discuss, disseminate or otherwise distribute it. If you are not the intended recipient, or if you have received this transmission in error, please notify the sender immediately and confidentially destroy the information that email in error.

[Guest guest]

But if you love too many people, when they have bad outcomes, it leads to physician burnout. We have so many losses but nowhere to grieve or heal. I think that is why many doctors like to keep arms length. To protect our own spirit, which not bottomless.

 

I knew it. Thanks for sharing Helen. This is a topic I have never seen discussed, but I had a sense many of us were saying, " I loveyou too! " at the end of appointments.Here is what a few others had to say about this from posts

on blog, FaceBook:Love begins with the decision to love. First you allow love to be possible, then you grow to where love is intentional. My patients know I love them. It begins with a shared understanding of our interconnectedness, but almost

almost always ends up being something more personal. Professional, innocent, but personal. - an RNEspecially with our senior patients, there is no medicine better than love. Phama-therapies dull the senses but

offer no emotional comfort. I exchange many " I love you " s, hold a lot of hands. The weaker the family presence, the stronger mine. It's the part of the job I don't get paid for. It's the part for which I feel the best compensated. - an MD Pamela Wible, MDBlog with me:) http://www.idealmedicalcare.org/blog/

>> > I care a lot about my patients. You may say I love my patients. Get and give hugs often. When patients tell me " I love you " , I tell them I love you too, but I won't say it first just to be professional.

> > Helen> > To: > From: roxywible@... > Date: Fri, 11 Mar 2011 09:20:14 +0000> Subject: Doctors who love patients. Is it okay?> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I'm not talking about a sexual attraction. I'm referring to sort of an

> > unconditional love, a " creative goodwill " as Luther King suggests> > we all have for one another. Professional distance never appealed to me.> > > > Falling in love with patients:

> > http://www.idealmedicalcare.org/blog/falling-in-love-with-patients/> > > > Do you think it's okay?

> > > > Is it okay to end an office visit with, " I love you. " > > Especially if patient announces this first.> > > > Do you all have patients who do this?

> > Do you have patients who want hugs> > at the end of their visits?> > > > Maybe it's more of a female thing?> > > > ~ Pamela>

> > > Pamela Wible, MD> > Blog with me:) http://www.idealmedicalcare.org/blog/>

-- M.D.www.elainemd.comOffice: Go in the directions of your dreams and live the life you've imagined.

This email transmission may contain protected and privileged, highly confidential medical, Personal and Health Information (PHI) and/or legal information. The information is intended only for the use of the individual or entity named above.

 If you are not the intended recipient of this material, you may not use, publish, discuss, disseminate or otherwise distribute it. If you are not the intended recipient, or if you have received this transmission in error, please notify the sender immediately and confidentially destroy the information that email in error.

[Guest guest]

I don’t hug my patients unless they initiate and would feel upset if I don’t grant them one. I never tell a patient “I love you” but for what it is worth, I also never tell a patient “I hate you” or “you are really annoying.” My emotions, and particularly my verbalization of these emotions, is not what is important. What is important is that I create the environment where the patient feels valued and comfortable enough to express what is ailing them and confident enough in me to believe what I say. Perhaps this is love in a Zen kind of way, but the expression “I love you” is dangerous in that it means far different things to different people. As physicians, we must remain emotionally engaged in understanding our patients and what is going on with them, but to proceed further is to begin to walk on thin ethical ice. From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Sent: Friday, March 11, 2011 2:37 PMTo: Subject: Re: Re: Doctors who love patients. Is it okay? But if you love too many people, when they have bad outcomes, it leads to physician burnout. We have so many losses but nowhere to grieve or heal. I think that is why many doctors like to keep arms length. To protect our own spirit, which not bottomless. I knew it. Thanks for sharing Helen. This is a topic I have never seen discussed, but I had a sense many of us were saying, " I loveyou too! " at the end of appointments.Here is what a few others had to say about this from postson blog, FaceBook:Love begins with the decision to love. First you allow love to be possible, then you grow to where love is intentional. My patients know I love them. It begins with a shared understanding of our interconnectedness, but almost almost always ends up being something more personal. Professional, innocent, but personal. - an RNEspecially with our senior patients, there is no medicine better than love. Phama-therapies dull the senses but offer no emotional comfort. I exchange many " I love you " s, hold a lot of hands. The weaker the family presence, the stronger mine. It's the part of the job I don't get paid for. It's the part for which I feel the best compensated. - an MD Pamela Wible, MDBlog with me:) http://www.idealmedicalcare.org/blog/--- In , Helen Yang wrote:>> > I care a lot about my patients. You may say I love my patients. Get and give hugs often. When patients tell me " I love you " , I tell them I love you too, but I won't say it first just to be professional.> > Helen> > To: > From: roxywible@... > Date: Fri, 11 Mar 2011 09:20:14 +0000> Subject: Doctors who love patients. Is it okay?> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I'm not talking about a sexual attraction. I'm referring to sort of an > > unconditional love, a " creative goodwill " as Luther King suggests> > we all have for one another. Professional distance never appealed to me.> > > > Falling in love with patients:> > http://www.idealmedicalcare.org/blog/falling-in-love-with-patients/> > > > Do you think it's okay?> > > > Is it okay to end an office visit with, " I love you. " > > Especially if patient announces this first.> > > > Do you all have patients who do this?> > Do you have patients who want hugs> > at the end of their visits?> > > > Maybe it's more of a female thing?> > > > ~ Pamela> > > > Pamela Wible, MD> > Blog with me:) http://www.idealmedicalcare.org/blog/>-- M.D.www.elainemd.comOffice: Go in the directions of your dreams and live the life you've imagined.This email transmission may contain protected and privileged, highly confidential medical, Personal and Health Information (PHI) and/or legal information. The information is intended only for the use of the individual or entity named above. If you are not the intended recipient of this material, you may not use, publish, discuss, disseminate or otherwise distribute it. If you are not the intended recipient, or if you have received this transmission in error, please notify the sender immediately and confidentially destroy the information that email in error.

[Guest guest]

I don’t hug my patients unless they initiate and would feel upset if I don’t grant them one. I never tell a patient “I love you” but for what it is worth, I also never tell a patient “I hate you” or “you are really annoying.” My emotions, and particularly my verbalization of these emotions, is not what is important. What is important is that I create the environment where the patient feels valued and comfortable enough to express what is ailing them and confident enough in me to believe what I say. Perhaps this is love in a Zen kind of way, but the expression “I love you” is dangerous in that it means far different things to different people. As physicians, we must remain emotionally engaged in understanding our patients and what is going on with them, but to proceed further is to begin to walk on thin ethical ice. From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Sent: Friday, March 11, 2011 2:37 PMTo: Subject: Re: Re: Doctors who love patients. Is it okay? But if you love too many people, when they have bad outcomes, it leads to physician burnout. We have so many losses but nowhere to grieve or heal. I think that is why many doctors like to keep arms length. To protect our own spirit, which not bottomless. I knew it. Thanks for sharing Helen. This is a topic I have never seen discussed, but I had a sense many of us were saying, " I loveyou too! " at the end of appointments.Here is what a few others had to say about this from postson blog, FaceBook:Love begins with the decision to love. First you allow love to be possible, then you grow to where love is intentional. My patients know I love them. It begins with a shared understanding of our interconnectedness, but almost almost always ends up being something more personal. Professional, innocent, but personal. - an RNEspecially with our senior patients, there is no medicine better than love. Phama-therapies dull the senses but offer no emotional comfort. I exchange many " I love you " s, hold a lot of hands. The weaker the family presence, the stronger mine. It's the part of the job I don't get paid for. It's the part for which I feel the best compensated. - an MD Pamela Wible, MDBlog with me:) http://www.idealmedicalcare.org/blog/--- In , Helen Yang wrote:>> > I care a lot about my patients. You may say I love my patients. Get and give hugs often. When patients tell me " I love you " , I tell them I love you too, but I won't say it first just to be professional.> > Helen> > To: > From: roxywible@... > Date: Fri, 11 Mar 2011 09:20:14 +0000> Subject: Doctors who love patients. Is it okay?> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I'm not talking about a sexual attraction. I'm referring to sort of an > > unconditional love, a " creative goodwill " as Luther King suggests> > we all have for one another. Professional distance never appealed to me.> > > > Falling in love with patients:> > http://www.idealmedicalcare.org/blog/falling-in-love-with-patients/> > > > Do you think it's okay?> > > > Is it okay to end an office visit with, " I love you. " > > Especially if patient announces this first.> > > > Do you all have patients who do this?> > Do you have patients who want hugs> > at the end of their visits?> > > > Maybe it's more of a female thing?> > > > ~ Pamela> > > > Pamela Wible, MD> > Blog with me:) http://www.idealmedicalcare.org/blog/>-- M.D.www.elainemd.comOffice: Go in the directions of your dreams and live the life you've imagined.This email transmission may contain protected and privileged, highly confidential medical, Personal and Health Information (PHI) and/or legal information. The information is intended only for the use of the individual or entity named above. If you are not the intended recipient of this material, you may not use, publish, discuss, disseminate or otherwise distribute it. If you are not the intended recipient, or if you have received this transmission in error, please notify the sender immediately and confidentially destroy the information that email in error.

[Guest guest]

I don’t hug my patients unless they initiate and would feel upset if I don’t grant them one. I never tell a patient “I love you” but for what it is worth, I also never tell a patient “I hate you” or “you are really annoying.” My emotions, and particularly my verbalization of these emotions, is not what is important. What is important is that I create the environment where the patient feels valued and comfortable enough to express what is ailing them and confident enough in me to believe what I say. Perhaps this is love in a Zen kind of way, but the expression “I love you” is dangerous in that it means far different things to different people. As physicians, we must remain emotionally engaged in understanding our patients and what is going on with them, but to proceed further is to begin to walk on thin ethical ice. From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Sent: Friday, March 11, 2011 2:37 PMTo: Subject: Re: Re: Doctors who love patients. Is it okay? But if you love too many people, when they have bad outcomes, it leads to physician burnout. We have so many losses but nowhere to grieve or heal. I think that is why many doctors like to keep arms length. To protect our own spirit, which not bottomless. I knew it. Thanks for sharing Helen. This is a topic I have never seen discussed, but I had a sense many of us were saying, " I loveyou too! " at the end of appointments.Here is what a few others had to say about this from postson blog, FaceBook:Love begins with the decision to love. First you allow love to be possible, then you grow to where love is intentional. My patients know I love them. It begins with a shared understanding of our interconnectedness, but almost almost always ends up being something more personal. Professional, innocent, but personal. - an RNEspecially with our senior patients, there is no medicine better than love. Phama-therapies dull the senses but offer no emotional comfort. I exchange many " I love you " s, hold a lot of hands. The weaker the family presence, the stronger mine. It's the part of the job I don't get paid for. It's the part for which I feel the best compensated. - an MD Pamela Wible, MDBlog with me:) http://www.idealmedicalcare.org/blog/--- In , Helen Yang wrote:>> > I care a lot about my patients. You may say I love my patients. Get and give hugs often. When patients tell me " I love you " , I tell them I love you too, but I won't say it first just to be professional.> > Helen> > To: > From: roxywible@... > Date: Fri, 11 Mar 2011 09:20:14 +0000> Subject: Doctors who love patients. Is it okay?> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I'm not talking about a sexual attraction. I'm referring to sort of an > > unconditional love, a " creative goodwill " as Luther King suggests> > we all have for one another. Professional distance never appealed to me.> > > > Falling in love with patients:> > http://www.idealmedicalcare.org/blog/falling-in-love-with-patients/> > > > Do you think it's okay?> > > > Is it okay to end an office visit with, " I love you. " > > Especially if patient announces this first.> > > > Do you all have patients who do this?> > Do you have patients who want hugs> > at the end of their visits?> > > > Maybe it's more of a female thing?> > > > ~ Pamela> > > > Pamela Wible, MD> > Blog with me:) http://www.idealmedicalcare.org/blog/>-- M.D.www.elainemd.comOffice: Go in the directions of your dreams and live the life you've imagined.This email transmission may contain protected and privileged, highly confidential medical, Personal and Health Information (PHI) and/or legal information. The information is intended only for the use of the individual or entity named above. If you are not the intended recipient of this material, you may not use, publish, discuss, disseminate or otherwise distribute it. If you are not the intended recipient, or if you have received this transmission in error, please notify the sender immediately and confidentially destroy the information that email in error.

[Guest guest]

it might not be appropriate for a doctor to say " I love you" first to a patient ..simply because it might be misunderstood....but its very appropriate for a doctor to respond "I love you too" if the patient said it first...most times people use it to show gratitude ...its not like they want to sleep with or marry the doctor....

Afterall medicine isnt supposed to be a stony-cold, unfeeling field...its supposed to be a caring, warm, loving field..but i guess , lawyers, litigations, calculating patients and all has made it a land mine where we should watch every word and action around patients...

To: Sent: Fri, March 11, 2011 3:14:45 PMSubject: RE: Re: Doctors who love patients. Is it okay?

I don’t hug my patients unless they initiate and would feel upset if I don’t grant them one. I never tell a patient “I love you†but for what it is worth, I also never tell a patient “I hate you†or “you are really annoying.†My emotions, and particularly my verbalization of these emotions, is not what is important. What is important is that I create the environment where the patient feels valued and comfortable enough to express what is ailing them and confident enough in me to believe what I say. Perhaps this is love in a Zen kind of way, but the expression “I love you†is dangerous in that it means far different things to different people. As physicians, we must remain emotionally engaged in understanding our patients and what is going on with them, but to proceed further is to begin to walk on thin ethical ice.

From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Sent: Friday, March 11, 2011 2:37 PMTo: Subject: Re: Re: Doctors who love patients. Is it okay?

But if you love too many people, when they have bad outcomes, it leads to physician burnout. We have so many losses but nowhere to grieve or heal. I think that is why many doctors like to keep arms length. To protect our own spirit, which not bottomless.

I knew it. Thanks for sharing Helen. This is a topic I have never seen discussed, but I had a sense many of us were saying, "I loveyou too!" at the end of appointments.Here is what a few others had to say about this from postson blog, FaceBook:Love begins with the decision to love. First you allow love to be possible, then you grow to where love is intentional. My patients know I love them. It begins with a shared understanding of our interconnectedness, but almost almost always ends up being something more personal. Professional, innocent, but personal. - an RNEspecially with our senior patients, there is no medicine better than love. Phama-therapies dull the senses but offer no emotional comfort. I exchange many "I love you"s, hold a lot of hands. The weaker the family presence, the stronger mine. It's the part of the job I don't get paid for. It's

the part for which I feel the best compensated. - an MD

Pamela Wible, MDBlog with me:) http://www.idealmedicalcare.org/blog/

>> > I care a lot about my patients. You may say I love my patients. Get and give hugs often. When patients tell me "I love you", I tell them I love you too, but I won't say it first just to be professional.> > Helen> > To:

> From: roxywible@...

> Date: Fri, 11 Mar 2011 09:20:14 +0000> Subject: Doctors who love patients. Is it okay?> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I'm not talking about a sexual attraction. I'm referring to sort of an > > unconditional love, a "creative goodwill" as Luther King suggests> > we all have for one another. Professional distance never appealed to me.> > > > Falling in love with patients:> > http://www.idealmedicalcare.org/blog/falling-in-love-with-patients/> > >

> Do you think it's okay?> > > > Is it okay to end an office visit with, "I love you."> > Especially if patient announces this first.> > > > Do you all have patients who do this?> > Do you have patients who want hugs> > at the end of their visits?> > > > Maybe it's more of a female thing?> > > > ~ Pamela> > > > Pamela Wible, MD> > Blog with me:) http://www.idealmedicalcare.org/blog/>

-- M.D.www.elainemd.comOffice: Go in the directions of your dreams and live the life you've imagined.This email transmission may contain protected and privileged, highly confidential medical, Personal and Health Information (PHI) and/or legal information. The information is intended only for the use of the individual or entity named above. If you are not the intended recipient of this material, you may not use, publish, discuss, disseminate or otherwise distribute it. If you are not the intended recipient, or if you have received this transmission in error, please notify the sender immediately and confidentially destroy the information that email in error.

[Guest guest]

it might not be appropriate for a doctor to say " I love you" first to a patient ..simply because it might be misunderstood....but its very appropriate for a doctor to respond "I love you too" if the patient said it first...most times people use it to show gratitude ...its not like they want to sleep with or marry the doctor....

Afterall medicine isnt supposed to be a stony-cold, unfeeling field...its supposed to be a caring, warm, loving field..but i guess , lawyers, litigations, calculating patients and all has made it a land mine where we should watch every word and action around patients...

To: Sent: Fri, March 11, 2011 3:14:45 PMSubject: RE: Re: Doctors who love patients. Is it okay?

I don’t hug my patients unless they initiate and would feel upset if I don’t grant them one. I never tell a patient “I love you†but for what it is worth, I also never tell a patient “I hate you†or “you are really annoying.†My emotions, and particularly my verbalization of these emotions, is not what is important. What is important is that I create the environment where the patient feels valued and comfortable enough to express what is ailing them and confident enough in me to believe what I say. Perhaps this is love in a Zen kind of way, but the expression “I love you†is dangerous in that it means far different things to different people. As physicians, we must remain emotionally engaged in understanding our patients and what is going on with them, but to proceed further is to begin to walk on thin ethical ice.

From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Sent: Friday, March 11, 2011 2:37 PMTo: Subject: Re: Re: Doctors who love patients. Is it okay?

But if you love too many people, when they have bad outcomes, it leads to physician burnout. We have so many losses but nowhere to grieve or heal. I think that is why many doctors like to keep arms length. To protect our own spirit, which not bottomless.

I knew it. Thanks for sharing Helen. This is a topic I have never seen discussed, but I had a sense many of us were saying, "I loveyou too!" at the end of appointments.Here is what a few others had to say about this from postson blog, FaceBook:Love begins with the decision to love. First you allow love to be possible, then you grow to where love is intentional. My patients know I love them. It begins with a shared understanding of our interconnectedness, but almost almost always ends up being something more personal. Professional, innocent, but personal. - an RNEspecially with our senior patients, there is no medicine better than love. Phama-therapies dull the senses but offer no emotional comfort. I exchange many "I love you"s, hold a lot of hands. The weaker the family presence, the stronger mine. It's the part of the job I don't get paid for. It's

the part for which I feel the best compensated. - an MD

Pamela Wible, MDBlog with me:) http://www.idealmedicalcare.org/blog/

>> > I care a lot about my patients. You may say I love my patients. Get and give hugs often. When patients tell me "I love you", I tell them I love you too, but I won't say it first just to be professional.> > Helen> > To:

> From: roxywible@...

> Date: Fri, 11 Mar 2011 09:20:14 +0000> Subject: Doctors who love patients. Is it okay?> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I'm not talking about a sexual attraction. I'm referring to sort of an > > unconditional love, a "creative goodwill" as Luther King suggests> > we all have for one another. Professional distance never appealed to me.> > > > Falling in love with patients:> > http://www.idealmedicalcare.org/blog/falling-in-love-with-patients/> > >

> Do you think it's okay?> > > > Is it okay to end an office visit with, "I love you."> > Especially if patient announces this first.> > > > Do you all have patients who do this?> > Do you have patients who want hugs> > at the end of their visits?> > > > Maybe it's more of a female thing?> > > > ~ Pamela> > > > Pamela Wible, MD> > Blog with me:) http://www.idealmedicalcare.org/blog/>

-- M.D.www.elainemd.comOffice: Go in the directions of your dreams and live the life you've imagined.This email transmission may contain protected and privileged, highly confidential medical, Personal and Health Information (PHI) and/or legal information. The information is intended only for the use of the individual or entity named above. If you are not the intended recipient of this material, you may not use, publish, discuss, disseminate or otherwise distribute it. If you are not the intended recipient, or if you have received this transmission in error, please notify the sender immediately and confidentially destroy the information that email in error.

[Guest guest]

I'm pretty heartfelt, but don't give out any "I love yous" to my patients. They do know that I deeply care about them.Hugs are always free and don't need any studies to tell me that it makes anyone feel better.I draw a line/boundary between me and patient. I'm their clinician and I care about them and want them to be healthy/get healthier. I don't want

any "shady" lines to ever cause any ambiguity in our relationship. Whereas most would probably take it in the proper context, can never be sure of everyone being able to. Therefore, no "I love yous". SomaTo: Sent: Fri, March 11, 2011 8:11:26 PMSubject: Re: Re: Doctors who love patients. Is it okay?

it might not be appropriate for a doctor to say " I love you" first to a patient ..simply because it might be misunderstood....but its very appropriate for a doctor to respond "I love you too" if the patient said it first...most times people use it to show gratitude ...its not like they want to sleep with or marry the doctor....

Afterall medicine isnt supposed to be a stony-cold, unfeeling field...its supposed to be a caring, warm, loving field..but i guess , lawyers, litigations, calculating patients and all has made it a land mine where we should watch every word and action around patients...

To: Sent: Fri, March 11, 2011 3:14:45 PMSubject: RE: Re: Doctors who love patients. Is it okay?

I don’t hug my patients unless they initiate and would feel upset if I don’t grant them one. I never tell a patient “I love you†but for what it is worth, I also never tell a patient “I hate you†or “you are really annoying.†My emotions, and particularly my verbalization of these emotions, is not what is important. What is important is that I create the environment where the patient feels valued and comfortable enough to express what is ailing them and confident enough in me to believe what I say. Perhaps this is love in a Zen kind of way, but the expression “I love you†is dangerous in that it means far different things to different people. As physicians, we must remain emotionally engaged in understanding our patients and what is going on with them, but to proceed further is to begin to walk on thin ethical ice.

From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Sent: Friday, March 11, 2011 2:37 PMTo: Subject: Re: Re: Doctors who love patients. Is it okay?

But if you love too many people, when they have bad outcomes, it leads to physician burnout. We have so many losses but nowhere to grieve or heal. I think that is why many doctors like to keep arms length. To protect our own spirit, which not bottomless.

I knew it. Thanks for sharing Helen. This is a topic I have never seen discussed, but I had a sense many of us were saying, "I loveyou too!" at the end of appointments.Here is what a few others had to say about this from postson blog, FaceBook:Love begins with the decision to love. First you allow love to be possible, then you grow to where love is intentional. My patients know I love them. It begins with a shared understanding of our interconnectedness, but almost almost always ends up being something more personal. Professional, innocent, but personal. - an RNEspecially with our senior patients, there is no medicine better than love. Phama-therapies dull the senses but offer no emotional comfort. I exchange many "I love you"s, hold a lot of hands. The weaker the family presence, the stronger mine. It's the part of the job I don't get paid for. It's

the part for which I feel the best compensated. - an MD

Pamela Wible, MDBlog with me:) http://www.idealmedicalcare.org/blog/

>> > I care a lot about my patients. You may say I love my patients. Get and give hugs often. When patients tell me "I love you", I tell them I love you too, but I won't say it first just to be professional.> > Helen> > To:

> From: roxywible@...

> Date: Fri, 11 Mar 2011 09:20:14 +0000> Subject: Doctors who love patients. Is it okay?> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I'm not talking about a sexual attraction. I'm referring to sort of an > > unconditional love, a "creative goodwill" as Luther King suggests> > we all have for one another. Professional distance never appealed to me.> > > > Falling in love with patients:> > http://www.idealmedicalcare.org/blog/falling-in-love-with-patients/> >

>

> Do you think it's okay?> > > > Is it okay to end an office visit with, "I love you."> > Especially if patient announces this first.> > > > Do you all have patients who do this?> > Do you have patients who want hugs> > at the end of their visits?> > > > Maybe it's more of a female thing?> > > > ~ Pamela> > > > Pamela Wible, MD> > Blog with me:) http://www.idealmedicalcare.org/blog/>

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