Guest guest Posted August 11, 2008 Report Share Posted August 11, 2008 Jan, I would be upset too if no one was with my LO. Come to think of it was only family with Don's mother, and a nurse came in once in a while when we were there. I don't know if she had Hospice or not. Maybe Hospice thinks nurses will care for the person, and only go to homes where they think help is needed.??? To leave a person die alone is very sad. I just talked to Sharon (Cyber daughter). Boy has she got it mad in her throat. She could hardly talk, but she is so sweet. I hate to see her so sick all the time. I gotta stop a minute. Love you dear, Jan, Imogene > > > > > > Hi Sheila, > > > Where do you live, because I had the samething happen when my > > husband lived at home 24/7 and Hospice came to evaluate him. I was > > really struggling with him, but he coud talk and understand and > > answer questions the person asked. And she said he did not qualify > > for Hospice. She gave me a brochure to a caregiver agency, but I > > didn't need that, I already had a caregiver. I needed help 24/7 > that > > was affordable, but I couldn't find it. I eventually admitted my > > husband to a nursing home and spent down, so he would qualify > > for Medicaid to help pay the nh and he has been there a little over > > two years. One year after he was there, he got a very bad UTI > > (Sepsis) and was hospitalized for 10 days and he qualified for > > Hospice when he returned from the hospital to the nh. Hospice > stayed > > with him for 4 months and then said he didn't need them anymore and > > they said good-bye. So, Hospice is not something to depend on for > > full time help if you need them for the rest > > > of your mother's life, unless she is really showing she is not > > thriving. That is my experience anyway. Also, one of my husband's > > roommates was on Hospice at the nh. His family requested Hospice > for > > him when he was failing. He had AD. I am at the nh for several > hours > > everyday and I never once saw Hospice come in to see the man. They > > probably came in the early, early morning when I was not there, > but > > that man died and no one was there for him and I sat with him all > > night and was there when he died. Not once was Hospice there for > him > > while dying. His daughter came in the afternoon to see him and he > was > > in the dying process, but Hospice had told her on the phone it > could > > be a few more days, so she left after about an hour with him and > that > > night when she was not there, I sat with him and talked to him. I > > thought that was the job of Hospice. It was shocking to me that not > > one person was there for this man, not even the staff at the nh. > They > > would come in > > > and check to see how he was doing periodically, but not one > person > > sat with him. > > > I felt so sorry for this man, I put Jim in bed and drew the > > curtains and sat with the man on the other side. When he died, the > > CNA and nurse asked me what time he had died. I didn't know that > was > > my job to keep track of, I was just there for him. I gave them an > > estimation, because I really didn't look at the clock at the > precise > > moment. I was saying a little prayer for the poor man when he died. > > > Now, here is the Godincidence, as Sandie says. Not knowing this > man > > would die that night, Jim and I had been sitting outside during the > > day on the nh patio and there were some beautiful roses and one was > a > > rose bud and I picked it and put it in Jim's buttonhole of his > > shirt. I've never done this before and it was for no special > > occasion, I just felt like doing it. > > > That night, I knew exactly why I had picked that rose bud, it was > > for the man that died and I left it on his bed after he died and > his > > daughter saw it when she arrived and she e-mailed me a very nice > > letter and said that she was going to throw the rose in with her > > father. That was so special to hear. > > > You might try and see if you have PACE in your area. They do in- > > home care and it is with Medicare or Medicaid. Here is the website > > about it. > > > http://www.medicare.gov/nursing/Alternatives/Pace.asp > > > > > > > > > > > > Hospice > > > > > > My mom is doing worse. the Dr. suggested Hospice. They came to > > > evaluate her and they said that since she could speak and > > understood > > > what we were saying she probably wouldn't qualify. I don't > > understand, > > > she can not walk without assistance, she can't do anything > without > > > assistance, Her tremors are so bad she can't eat or brush her > > teeth. > > > She is delusional, thinks dad is trying to hurt her, and she get > > upset > > > if I'm not there. > > > Has anyone else had problems with people not understanding about > > LBD? > > > They think it is like Alzhiemers, with the memory problems, mom > > > doesn't have that problem, but her symptoms are just as bad. It > > gets > > > so frustrating. I don't know what to do. I would also like to > > know > > > what to expect. All the DR's say is that there is no cure and > she > > will > > > go down hill fast. I feel like no one understands what I am going > > > thru. I'm worried I can't do it but I have to because there is > no > > one > > > else except Dad and he is not well either. > > > thanks for listening! > > > Sheila > > > > > > > > > > > > ------------------------------------ > > > > > > Welcome to LBDcaregivers. > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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