Guest guest Posted September 17, 2011 Report Share Posted September 17, 2011 Hi everyone, I want to tell everyone, especially my fellow board members how sorry I am for not doing my job for such a long time!You have been more than kind to me and I haven't been able to get it together enough to be of help to an already over-worked board!I have'nt felt well and I am so depressed about it most of the time that I just can't make myself do what I promised to do. I just spent the last week and a half down state going to doctor appts. and having tests. I don't have all my results yet,but I do know the nodes on my lung have gotten bigger,the tech doing my heart ultra sound slipped up and asked me to turn over so she could see if there was fluid on the other side of my heart also!I haven't heard from the heart doc yet,but I know I have been short of breath a lot lately and have had pain in my chest and collar bone. I felt that way just before my last heart attack! I also have pain,actually an ache in the right side of my neck and some sort of fungus on my stomach from my diabetes!I just want to stop fighting everything and taking so many meds! What hurt me really bad was when my Rheumy yesterday was looking at a picture of my youngest son when he was about six (he treats my whole family pretty much) and I was sitting beside him in the picture,he asked who that was and I said it was me, he said no way, are you sure? I said yes I looked like that til I was 42 and got my first diagnosis and prednisone treatment! He said no way, that couldn't be you!He said wow you really got hit hard in the face with Stills! I said I knew that and he said it's not your fault,you've been fighting a hard battle and it has taken it's toll oon you!He isn't a mean spirited man and he is very empathetic normally,but I just wanted to cry. I am thinking of leaving the group, because I can't seem to crawl out of this funk I'm in and I know I am not being helpful to anyone else.I love this group and feel like I have some very good friends in it,but I am not being a good friend to anyone right now,and that's not fair to those who are also sick and still able to help others.I'm so sorry! love Elly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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