IMVA - The Psychology of Anger - February 27, 2006

[Guest guest]

Dear IMVA,

After my last mailings that confronted pediatricians, psychiatrists and

psychologists I received a range of responses. The most interesting of those

dialogues is below and beneath that I am publishing The Psychology of Anger, a

chapter from my HeartHealth book, then finishing off with yet another personal

dialogue.

We in the medical field do not normally give emotions, mental attitudes,

and spiritual dynamics their full due in the formation of disease. " Through the

millennia, humanity has more or less consciously known that all diseases

ultimately have a psychic origin and it became a " scientific " asset firmly

anchored in the inheritance of universal knowledge; it is only modern medicine

that has turned our animated beings into a bag full of chemical formulas, " wrote

Dr. Ryke Greed Hammer. Dr Hammer has recently been released from a European jail

after being persecuted by the medical mafia for his revolutionary work with

cancer patients. Through extensive research of thousands of patients, Dr. Hamer

was able to conclude that cancer is most often triggered by a shock for which a

person is totally unprepared.

These past three years I myself have concentrated on the physical aspects

of disease, on vaccines, mercury in medicine and dentistry, environmental

pollution, toxic accumulation in the body and most recently on magnesium and

other nutritional deficiencies that are creating huge health problems. And I am

very excited to be building a strong arsenal of natural agents to help in the

healing process. But when working with a client, I never lose focus of their

situation on all levels of being, including emotional and spiritual.

So what follows reveals something about my own process on a subject that

is important to all of us. Anger, or our lack of it, is important to understand

and appreciate as it does hold an important key to our health and happiness in

this world.

Mark Sircus Ac., OMD

Director International Medical Veritas Association

http://www.imva.info

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Feedback from an IMVA Reader: Sometimes I can 'feel' your anger. When you

wrote the artricle about pediatricians, I was surprised by how strong your anger

was. I had never been so conscious of it before.

Mark Sircus: Its not an emotional type of anger or ego type of anger. It

is what I think my mentor would have called righteous anger. Anger directed not

at any partiular person but at a series of wrongs. Personally I have never been

more relaxed in life. It is from a deep peaceful and happy place I am writing

this work. Also I never separate from the whole meaning I do not lose contact

with the millions of children and adults who are being hurt.

IMVA Reader: I do not doubt that you are happy and peaceful; that comes

across too, at least to me. I can tell you truly are pleased with what you are

doing; not completely satisfied yet but close. But whether it is righteous anger

or not (and I do have no reason to doubt that it is righteous anger) -- it is

still there and very powerful, strong, and steady. I am not sure if steady is

the correct word but it is always there to some degree, sort of in the

background, so much so that I can 'feel' it. Maybe it is as you say; you do not

ever separate from the issue of the children and others who have been and still

are being hurt. Maybe that is what is there in the background all the time; but

you certainly feel passionate/deeply about it. Not that that is bad or uncalled

for; these were just observations. You have a very strong presence. And you have

strong emotions. Not everyone does. In some ways you are very different -

sometimes you seem to have two contradictory emotions. By contradictory I mean

not usually found at the same time, together. Somebody told me that you are a

perfectionist; I can believe it.

Mark Sircus: Well it would be the first time that I know of that someone

would have called me that.

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The Psychology of Anger

International Medical Veritas Association

Truth Speaks in Thunder as in Silence

Sometimes it is in tune to speak out forcibly,

confronting what we see and feel.

And sometimes it is better to remain silent,

and in our center of peace surrendering

to what the cosmic will is willing.

The heart of true wisdom is to know the difference.

Discussions on power and on the world of emotions and feelings, lead

us directly to the subject of anger. Anger has a lot to do with either the

expression of power or the helplessness we experience when confronted with other

people's power. Definitions of anger vary from being a body tension with a

cognitive view of the world as being frustrating, irritating, insulting, or

unfair. We may even feel assaulted by a literal demand from our internal being

to pay attention to our essential needs and then to act accordingly.

The biological or evolutionary view of anger is one of preparing the

entire organism for rapid response to threatening situations. With anger, the

blood flows more quickly as heart rate increases and the rush of adrenaline

generates the pulse necessary for vigorous action. The word anger really covers

a lot of ground, from indignation, distress, annoyance, keyed-up, intense,

frustrated, ardent, zealous, and even excited. When we talk about anger we are

talking about a family of strong 'hot' feelings.

Anger cannot be dishonest.

R. Bach

Anger describes an inner space, and anger makes a person's space

easily visible. In anger, our inner world lights up brightly for others to see.

In this way, anger is an honest emotion. Anger comes out when a person can no

longer hide their inner world from others. Anger has the habit of breaking

though all games people play.

Self-aware people tend to be autonomous and thus clear about their

own boundaries. Such people are sensitive to when a natural limit is reached, or

crossed by others. These kinds of people do not like to play games around

important issues, and will let you know clearly, what they are feeling. When

someone commits an offense against us, or acts in a harmful manner, it is

natural to show some 'feelings' of displeasure.

We can forgive a person, but that does not mean that we are saying it

was ok for an offense to have occurred. Whether we react or not or whether we

get angry and loose control of that anger is independent of the objectivity of a

given situation. Inappropriate anger can delay the resolution of situations but

also, the repression of anger can be an acid that can do great harm to us.

We escape the trap of judging anger when we can see it as more or less

a friend who reminds us when it is time to protect ourselves, and or communicate

in a strong manner. Anger is a cautionary instrument that serves us in crucial

moments of interaction with others.

People have a very strong tendency to judge anger.

We assume that the angry person is out of control of their ego, while

not understanding what the word ego means and what the purpose of anger is, or

what it expresses. The minute we judge another's anger we actually collapse into

our own ego sense of separation, for often when a person shows their anger they

are really exposing their vulnerability. We think of vulnerability as something

softer than anger, as when a person shows us their tears. However, the angry

person can also be exposing themselves to hurt and rejection, because people

quickly tend to judge their anger.

Anger shows a 'strong' displeasure about something.

Do not judge or reject anger, for it is expressing more than we imagine.

What that displeasure is about is very important. If we get angry

because we are not getting our way, it is one thing. If we are unhappy with

another because they are not doing what we like, or things are not going exactly

according to our personal plan, we may have a small self-letting off of steam.

However, if we have the kind of anger that is aroused by something

unjust, mean, or unworthy, we call this indignation, but it is still a form of

anger. Modern Psychology understands that the universal trigger for anger is the

sense of being in danger. This sense of endangerment is not limited to mere

physical threats. It can include threats to self-esteem and dignity. When we

feel we are being treated unjustly or rudely, or being insulted or demeaned,

there is a natural and often deep response within us.

In almost all household and community situations, we find many common

situations that provoke intense feelings. What do we feel and what do we do with

a person who will not assume their share of responsibilities, after we have

communicated our feeling to them, many times, about not doing the dishes, for

example? We sometimes have to face the reality that our communications and

feelings are going to be ignored, and this is never pleasant. This naturally

arouses us to greater and more powerful communications, or in the end, to take

decisive action.

Be angry, and yet do not sin;

do not let the sun go down on your anger.

Ephesians 4:26

In spiritual circles, we hold in high esteem those who can sit

endlessly at peace with a Buddha smile, and we tend to judge those who seem more

forceful. Beings have feeling responses and those responses can vary widely

depending on the full scope of the circumstances. We tend to judge the angry

person before we analyze the situation deeply. Moreover, often the angry person

who is totally out of control, is doing the same in reverse. Both parties are

getting angry before they have all the information.

On the low end we see that anger is triggered by irrational thoughts,

especially thoughts related to unconscious demands, desires, and expectations.

The more intense and out of perspective our demands and expectations are, the

easier and more likely it is that our anger will be triggered frequently and

intensely. Intense egocentric anger often runs parallel with fits of rage,

violence, intense jealousy, possessiveness and poor communication behaviors.

People with strong imbalances in these areas usually demonstrate low frustration

tolerances, judgmental and demanding behaviors. However:

There is another kind of anger, which deserves our respect.

A legitimate anger, that is worthy of recognition.

Anger can be intelligently conscious, and may be used

for creating meaningful and lasting change in our lives.

Anger can show us where respect is being disrespected.

Anger can show us something is wrong and needs correction.

There is an anger that transcends the selfish undisciplined ego, an

anger that we can see in nature that delivers consequences and is ruthless and

impartial. Pure righteous anger is not directed so much at individuals; it is

not ego-to-ego. It is a feeling response directed impartially toward a whole

system of wrongs. In general, when we love cosmically it is the divisions in

human life that cause intense feelings, anguish and sometimes even anger. This

concept, flies in the face of many spiritual teachings that would deny any kind

of anger or intense feeling.

In the real world, the opportunity for peaceful dialogue is not

always present, and the use of some kind of force may be necessary to protect

others and us from harm. There is a kind of strong feeling that runs with

certain kinds of situations, that drives us quickly into action. But some people

think that emotional intelligence demands that we control our emotions and

regulate our moods and impulses.

Emotional control is an appropriate skill but there is real and

present danger of us controlling too much. Our strong feelings are not just

emotions to be controlled; they are internal calls to action, to attention, to

the turning on of the full powers of our consciousness. The real value of anger

is found in the moment it arises and the reason for its occurrence. Anger can

shout to be careful. It can propel us to evaluate a situation more carefully, to

pay attention with the full force of our being. Anger is a powerful call to pay

attention to what is going on in our internal and external environments and to

understand the relationship between the two.

If a man meets with injustice, it is not required

that he shall not be roused to meet it?

Henry Ward Beecher

Anger is that emotion that shows us our displeasure about something.

Sometimes anger is caused by very real problems and as such not all anger is

misplaced. Anger is often a healthy and natural response to difficulties that we

must face with our total awareness on alert. It must be remembered that anger

has its roots in the " fight or flight " response, and that it summons up great

reserves of energy to deal with and confront situations that are in need of

confrontation. Chogyam Trungpa warns caution when he says, " Don't suppress

anger, but don't act on it. " Looking directly at and then through our anger to

the roots of its causes is the challenge.

Anger is a cry for change.

Change in situation, change in the self.

One does not usually equate anger with positive action. Most people

associate anger with blame, " You make me angry. " In this case the cause of the

anger is in our thinking, in some judgment about who the person is and what they

are doing. Blame is not the same thing as an intelligent call for change. Yet

when anger is properly channeled, it can change a person's life. Feelings of

disgust or revulsion can also propel us toward great surges of energy that will

lead to change. Properly channeled, all of these kinds of more intense feelings

can change our life.

The person who feels disgusted is ready to " throw down the gauntlet "

at life and say, " I've had it and I am not going to take it anymore. " When

enough is enough we finally decide deep inside that we don't want to live with

that something or someone who is disgusting us. Nor with that part of our self

that is constantly getting us into trouble. Sooner or later we are confronted in

life with thoughts like " I don't want to live like this anymore " and then we

finally make a change.

Our strongest feelings and emotions

call us to the alter of change.

The three main choices seen in modern psychological circles for the

processing of angry feelings is expression, suppressing, and calming. The

expression of angry feelings in assertive ways has always been seen favorably as

the healthiest way to express anger. When we ignore our anger, suppress it, or

judge it, we are turning a nasty sword inward. Anger often is a message to get

clear on what our needs are and to establish how in fact we are going to get

those needs met. The expression of our anger shows a respect for our own

feelings and respect for others who need to hear what we are feeling.

He that would be angry and sin not,

must not be angry with anything but sin.

Secker

Anger is so easily repressed, especially when everyone is so ready to

judge it. Repression of anger is actually the worst method of anger management

causing serious medical problems like hypertension, depression, and cardiac

dysfunction. Anger can provide the motive force and the energy that allows us

to stand up and fight for ourselves. The highest form of anger comes from the

self that just wants to stand up for what is right. The hero inside of us wants

to vanquish those dark forces. In this anger (strong feelings) can be both our

shield and our sword.

We boil at different degrees.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Anger is an emotional disturbance, a reaction to both external and

internal stimuli. Anger needs to be distinguished from aggression as anger is

the internal emotion, and aggression is the external behavior. As it is possible

to be angry without being aggressive, and to be aggressive without being angry,

the two concepts cannot totally define each other. What is not clear to most

people is that it is our personal involvement in the fight against indecency,

against laziness and corruptness, against contempt and uncaring neglect, and the

deliberate hurt of our own and other people's beings which marks our evolution

and growth as beings. It is in this fight or struggle that our strongest

feelings are naturally aroused.

Anger is a great force. If you control it, it can be

transmuted into a power that can move the whole world.

Sri Swami Sivananda

Some people get angry too easily, while others just cannot seem to

get angry when they should. Who wants to get upset in life and who on this earth

is so perfect that they never get upset? For many people strong feelings of any

kind are upsetting. When we define anger simply as a strong feeling we can move

past our judgments and begin to listen more deeply to our anger.

" Anger is a signal and one worth listening to " writes Dr. Harriet

Lerner in her renowned classic The Dance with Anger. Anger is known to be a

completely normal, usually healthy expression of human emotion based on human

caring. Reid, author of the Tao of Detox says, " In Chinese, the term for

" get angry " is " sheng-chi, " which literally means " generate energy, " or " give

rise to energy. " So it seems that the basic component in anger is energy, which

can of course be utilized for anything. The negative aspect of anger is

something we attach to it emotionally and mentally, but that can be transformed

through consciousness. Which brings us to the Tibetan tantric view, which is

this: the negative emotion of anger may be transformed through mental presence

into the positive virtue of clarity. Hence, when something really makes you

angry ( " generates energy " in Chinese), if you catch the negative aspect of your

emotional response quickly enough through mindfulness, before acting on it in a

stupid manner, that energy transforms into clarity. "

Other people reveal our deepest pattern

of separation in moments of their

frustration, anger and even disgust with us.

There are certain things that we just cannot say to another without

bringing up a lot of conflict and anger. No matter how calmly and skillfully we

communicate, if we show another person that some action of theirs is hurting our

inner world (creating or provoking strong feelings) they might react with anger.

Whenever a communication drives us into those parts of our consciousness that we

would rather stay out of, we react. Often our reactions are designed to take the

'heat' off us by delivering a counter blow. We hate to see ourselves as we

really are so we automatically hate anyone who mirrors our blindness, and this

hate is expressed in an angry manner.

But often there is a need to deliver a message, to make a

communication. How do we get someone to listen? The softest and most peaceful

means is to open our hearts and make a vulnerable communication that expresses

exactly how we feel, and what we are seeing and needing. But what does the being

do when this type of communication is ignored? Certainly new and stronger

feelings arise in the moment we feel ignored, or when our communications are

completely rejected.

The more we try to communicate and the more we are frustrated, the

deeper our feelings of frustration and anger become. Violence is actually the

communication of last resort. When all else fails and communication breaks down

completely, many people resort to some form of violence. However, the more we

evolve and work on our ego (sense of self) the clearer and more forceful our

communications become, and the less we need anger as a motive and drive of

communication.

We cannot always avoid a confrontation with

the forces of uncaring and negligence.

When the being feels something wrong, or

senses a disturbance in the universe of being, it must

communicate or risk separating itself from its true self.

The further we go into our true loving being, the more we become

concerned with what is happening around us. However, there is one over riding

law that governs the nature of all beings. Beings care. To be aware is to care.

The true nature of being is love that is expressed as caring. To care is to

nurture, to raise and to cherish. To care is to protect, to supervise and to

consider. Carefulness and attention are essential qualities of caring. When we

care, we pay attention; we notice and observe what is going on around us. The

mind cares about itself because it pays attention principally to itself, to its

own thoughts, rationalizations, concepts, judgments, emotions, and other thing

of self-interest.

There is an anger (strong feeling) whose source is love,

and this type of anger is a force to be approached

with care, for it has the power like no force on earth.

The origin of spiritual fire expressed as anger

is not hate but love, not separation but oneness.

To be aware is to care, and if we are aware of how we are feeling, we

will care to communicate, which is a form of action. When we speak out what we

are feeling and seeing, when we dare to express our caring, what happens? We run

into walls. We run into the hopelessness of communicating anything meaningful

because often people seem unable to listen. People have a profound lack of

ability to care for the inner world of others and they express this poverty with

their inability to listen. This inability naturally provokes displeasure. When

provoked far enough and fast enough even the most balanced or evolved person

could flash red with anger. (The color of anger is red meaning it is a first

chakra phenomenon - fight or flight.)

It hurts when others cannot feel, see, or hear our being.

Anger is a social emotion. Our beings were never meant to live with

uncaring and separation. We are meant to live with love and caring. Thus, it is

quite natural for us to have strong feelings when love and caring are lacking in

our social existence. Healthy spiritual and psychological maturation demands

that we walk a delicate and narrow path between remaining centered when

confronted with non-caring, and the use and application of power whose purpose

is the creation and protection of loving environments in our intimate spaces.

When a person needs to express anger, it can be an opportunity to bridge the

world of our mind and being. There are skillful ways of expressing anger that

maximize the chance of being heard.

" I feel angry when you doubt me or don't believe in me, because I am

afraid I am going to lose you, " is very different from, " You make me angry. " The

word " you " is an attack and the other will rally to defend themselves against

any perceived hostility. We are being blamed and we don't like that. This makes

us angry and we don't like that either.

When we blame others for our anger, we diminish the opportunity for

real being to being communication. However, when we express the anger with the

finger pointed to ourselves saying, " I feel " , we are simply expressing what is

going on in our inner world. The second part of the communication, " when you

doubt me, or don't believe in me, " communicates what triggered the internal

emotional response, and the, " because I am afraid I am going to lose you, "

expresses the heart level, the hurt that is somehow being transformed into

anger. It is always quite different when our motive is to share inner worlds for

the sake of creating healing and union. Blame usually backfires completely and

leads to even greater experiences of separation.

A great problem with interpersonal life is that no doesn't mean no to

many people. Although when people say no, they most likely mean no. If no is not

the answer we want to hear, we will not hear or really respect the no. Anger can

deliver a no that will be heard. It is a preliminary to action. Neuro Linguistic

Programming says that 'we can measure the effectiveness of our communication by

the response that we get.' The way we communicate and express anger determines

the response that we get from others. If we are looking for a certain outcome or

response, if we are rightly demanding that a person stop a harmful or hurtful

behavior, we will know that we have successfully communicated only when they

have stopped that behavior. How loud we have to say no depends on the person's

ability to hear the communication.

Our devotion to love forces us to say no to what is not loving and

caring. We just need to say no to some things, it is such a simple thing and yet

so difficult. Adults find it very hard to say no even though saying no is the

first word we learn as children.

This is always a good reality test especially when dealing with

anger. In the end even if someone is hurting us and doing something that

everyone can see is irrational and aimed to purposely hurt and abuse us, we

still have to own the situation completely and choose our final response to that

situation. Anger and rage result from our helplessness if we can do nothing to

improve the situation, but the same anger can also show and mirror our fear of

just picking ourselves up and moving out of the situation completely. A being is

under no obligation to accept the uncaring nature of its own or anyone else's

ego.

Nothing does greater harm to a man or a woman than feeling that your

life is in danger, and there is nothing you can do about it. Scientists have

discovered that great changes in brain chemistry occur when there is a danger,

and we sense there is nothing we can do to escape it. The feeling of

helplessness is a terror from which the brain has a very hard time recovering.

Many beings have confronted combat, torture, repeated child abuse,

rape, and violent assault; each of these provokes a common biological and

neurological effect when the stressful event is perceived as uncontrollable,

thus leaving us helpless. When we feel there is something we can do, we fare

much better through traumatic experiences.

How we confront our greatest trials is crucial and anger is often

present somewhere along the line. Uncontrollable anger will most often get us

into uncontrollable messes. Aristotle talked about appropriate anger as the key.

Being angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for

the right purpose offers a vision of true heart intelligence. Obviously, he was

a great being with a great heart.

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One good friend who works in the area of Non-Violent Communication wrote

me, " Whatever the source of anger, it may be putting off people, perhaps some of

the people you'd most love to get through to. I trust you have no doubt seen

that generally people either move away from anger, or respond to it with either

attack or defensiveness? " My response is that I am not trying to engineer my

communications to slip through into the minds and hearts of the maximum amount

of people possible. What I am doing is concentrating on communicating the truth

of my perceptions as clearly as possible. I am more in love with honesty of

feeling and expression than winning any popularity contest. Truth is not

somewhere in the middle of two extremely opposing points of view, or beliefs as

many people think. Many people do not like to hear the truth and will run from

it as fast as they can if they are not of the truth. Truth is difficult to hear

sometimes even for a person who loves the truth. Truth has never really been

very popular with humanity for some reason. Certainly governments and the

medical industrial complex are rooted in something other than the truth. Anger

as a positive feeling calls us to change something, even if that is only a

change in perception. And in a world of people and egos resistant to change

truth presented strongly will stir up the hornets nest. I am full of a passion

fire inside my heart and I do communicate that forcefully with a lot of energy

(anger).

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