Walks

[Guest guest]

Hi Kieila,

Walks, yes I remember walking miles everyday...not anymore. I force myself to

walk my dogs every single morning. Although yesterday it was becoming

debatable. My hip joints and kidneys were hurting so bad I could barely get

their leashes hooked on them. I have had to shorten the walks quite a bit, but

is right about the feeling of getting out in the air and the sun on your

face as well as the movement. I cried yesterday through my whole walk, but when

I got back, my dogs were so happy and I wasn't quite as stiff and after the

fresh air, I felt better...briefly, but better.

I know it's hard to keep your head up and a positive attitude and I used to

always tell people " well, it could be worse, I guess. " As if that's some sort

of consulation prize. The fact is that yes other people may be worse off, but

that shouldn't discount the way that I'm feeling and it doesn't necessarily make

me feel better either. I stopped saying " it could be worse " because I learned

that sure enough it can be....because it keeps seeming to happen to me.

I saw Dr. Cush today here in Dallas. It was a 3 hour appt., talk about

exhausting! I'll write a little more on that later, but now he's added

Fibromyalgia to my diagnosis and he said there's something odd about my bone

marrow biopsy that nobody said anything about. He's going to check more into

that. Changed my meds a bit, lowering the Prednisone especially after he saw my

driver's license picture of how I looked last year. I don't look anything like

I did then. I'm not sure that my parents would recognize me right now. 2 years

ago I was building a 40ft wooden catamaran, sanding for 8 hours a day,

fiberglassing, building builkheads and gunwhales, I was also sailing

competetively and teaching sailing. Needless to say, my life has changed quite

a bit since then. I guess I need to find another passion. LOL. I am however,

glad that I took the time out of the corporate world to pursue my passion, I

just didn't get to complete it by sailing the world. Glass is still half full,

but somehow it keeps getting knocked over. LOL.

Try to keep your head up. I'm sorry you're feeling so down right now. I

definitely won't be walking this morning because the wind chill is going to be

around zero and apparently some lovely ice and maybe snow. No way I'm risking

that!

I'll be thinking positive thoughts for you and maybe via osmosis you'll get some

positive vibes.

Smiles,

Re: Does this sound like a " flare " ?

Hey =)

GAH what I wouldn't do to take a walk. That would be such bliss! Jan 2 I managed

to get outside enough to go to the car, inside Red Lobster, back to the car and

back home. I was in bed the rest of the day =/ But it was so good to get out!!

The joint pain can be disabling at times, but for the most part it is

manageable. Right now - it's chest, back (both from my lungs hurting) pain, and

now in the last hour, stomach. Its waxing and waning, and when it gets bad I

actually am doubled up in bed. I really, really do not have any idea how people

live like this. Yeah that is me feeling sorry for myself. In the last couple

hours, I have been wondering if maybe I have something fatal =/. Cause I mean

really, people live with this? I would be ok with being disabled, with having

some pain, with not feeling " up to snuff " . But this? No, I am so not ok. Sorry,

Im just having a really bad time tonight, and I don't know what to do anymore.

Im ok with impaired

functioning, but this is beyond that. ~Keilia~

www.mdjunction.com