Guest guest Posted June 17, 2011 Report Share Posted June 17, 2011 In my opinion, it is not at all arrogant and narcissitic to want to share what you've learned in your classes; on the contrary, it's generous and kind of you to make the effort. I am enjoying reading it and plan to re-read it. Milk that surge of positive energy for all its worth! Love when that happens : ) I'm kinda feeling the same way today. It's sweet. Peace, Helena Re: My ACT/DBT Journey I know I have been talking a lot lately so...last post today...thanks for listening.After I posted my journey it occurred to me how arrogant and narcissistic of me to assume that others would even be interested. Hmmm, damn it...yes, notice that. O.K. maybe it is...I really don't know, maybe it's not too.Anyway, time ticks on and the thinking moves again. For some unknown reason I have a surge of positive energy (emotion/physical sensation) so I'm going to work on staying with that one today.Best wishes to all,Lou :-)>> Hello Group,> > This week I finished 20 weeks of DBT classes. I learned a lot of skills and wanted to record the experience so that I could draw on it later, (when I falter) to serve as a reminder. For me this is a working document that I will continue to add to as my experience evolves.> > > My ACT Journey – the first year (Macro perspective) 2010-2011> > He started by telling me I am not my thoughts. I learned to make a distinction which gave me some distance. He then taught me how language can trap you into believing what is not true. I learned how to identify the "I am..." statements and how they are not definitive or absolute. He taught me how to identify emotion and to recognise it as a condition of being human. This education enabled me to see and feel myself as a whole human being as opposed to being fragmented and confused. He calls it the `observing self' which is that sense of `who' you are. Having that sense of self is a grounding experience because it enables a wider perspective and a degree of self-compassion. He taught me that I am not a product of my environment nor am I validated (exist) by constantly seeking approval from others. > > I learned about avoidance strategies and why they are so effective in the short-term and ineffective over the long-term. He taught me about traps into poor thinking. I learned to recognise black and white thinking and to challenge my perspective by seeking other alternatives. I learned how to be aware of past or future thinking and spend more time in the present moment. This enables me to see and think more clearly about what I am engaged in at any particular moment.> > The next stage of teaching involved identifying what is most important to me. He gave me ten areas of life (domains) where I had to label what I value most in each domain. I learned that when I behave in a manner that is contrary to my values I become distressed, negative and inflexible. I also learned that when I follow my values and fail, I end up in the same place. I was asked to create a pathway for my direction by determining goals (using verbs and adverbs) based on my values. The next thing I learned was committed action whereby tasks are set out that relate specifically to a goal. I learned that behavioural activation is key to maintaining good health.> > > My ACT Journey – the next six months (Combined with DBT) June 2011> > This stage of teaching started with self-compassion. That quickly expanded into compassion for others and to forgiveness. I learned about loving kindness and radical acceptance. I engaged with the exercises and developed my mindfulness skills. Through working with the exercises and the concepts, I learned about my in body existence as a child, with likes and dislikes and responses, I learned about the connections between human need and how those needs continue to exist in the same form in adulthood, I learned that all things past are just memories that come and go in the mind...I learned many things from practicing the exercises.> > I learned about primary and secondary emotions. I was taught to identify and label thoughts, emotions and physical sensations. Then I was told to acknowledge them and allow those experiences to occur. The key was to separate the three experiences. I developed skills in emotional regulation and engaging with the present moment. I meditated a lot and sometimes used it to induce emotional exposure. This process taught me how to recognise where emotions manifest as pain or discomfort in my body and how my thinking process responded to all of that.> > I was taught how to keep my eye on the objective.> > The teaching took a social turn and I benefited from information on how to be assertive without backing-down or offending other people. I learned that we tend to devalue the people we care the most about if we feel we are at risk of losing them so that it hurts less when they are gone. I learned that relationships are pivotal to maintaining a sense of being wanted. These lessons also took me though the skills to maintaining self-respect, like reciprocity and fairness, the perpetual urge to apologise and its link to taking the blame, and the importance of holding fast on your values, the things that are most important to you. > > The challenges ahead include `urge surfing', more `emotional exposure', increased social interaction and `committed action'.> > __________________________________________________________> > That's it for now...> > Lou> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 17, 2011 Report Share Posted June 17, 2011 I completely agree with Helena! I didn't have the time to read it yet, but I saw that you posted this and was excited to read it later. I appreciate you sharing it -- nothing arrogant about it at all (in my opinion.) Now I'm off for a walk - valued action Best,Barbara In my opinion, it is not at all arrogant and narcissitic to want to share what you've learned in your classes; on the contrary, it's generous and kind of you to make the effort. I am enjoying reading it and plan to re-read it. Milk that surge of positive energy for all its worth! Love when that happens : ) I'm kinda feeling the same way today. It's sweet. Peace, Helena Re: My ACT/DBT Journey I know I have been talking a lot lately so...last post today...thanks for listening.After I posted my journey it occurred to me how arrogant and narcissistic of me to assume that others would even be interested. Hmmm, damn it...yes, notice that. O.K. maybe it is...I really don't know, maybe it's not too. Anyway, time ticks on and the thinking moves again. For some unknown reason I have a surge of positive energy (emotion/physical sensation) so I'm going to work on staying with that one today.Best wishes to all, Lou :-)>> Hello Group, > > This week I finished 20 weeks of DBT classes. I learned a lot of skills and wanted to record the experience so that I could draw on it later, (when I falter) to serve as a reminder. For me this is a working document that I will continue to add to as my experience evolves. > > > My ACT Journey – the first year (Macro perspective) 2010-2011> > He started by telling me I am not my thoughts. I learned to make a distinction which gave me some distance. He then taught me how language can trap you into believing what is not true. I learned how to identify the " I am... " statements and how they are not definitive or absolute. He taught me how to identify emotion and to recognise it as a condition of being human. This education enabled me to see and feel myself as a whole human being as opposed to being fragmented and confused. He calls it the `observing self' which is that sense of `who' you are. Having that sense of self is a grounding experience because it enables a wider perspective and a degree of self-compassion. He taught me that I am not a product of my environment nor am I validated (exist) by constantly seeking approval from others. > > I learned about avoidance strategies and why they are so effective in the short-term and ineffective over the long-term. He taught me about traps into poor thinking. I learned to recognise black and white thinking and to challenge my perspective by seeking other alternatives. I learned how to be aware of past or future thinking and spend more time in the present moment. This enables me to see and think more clearly about what I am engaged in at any particular moment. > > The next stage of teaching involved identifying what is most important to me. He gave me ten areas of life (domains) where I had to label what I value most in each domain. I learned that when I behave in a manner that is contrary to my values I become distressed, negative and inflexible. I also learned that when I follow my values and fail, I end up in the same place. I was asked to create a pathway for my direction by determining goals (using verbs and adverbs) based on my values. The next thing I learned was committed action whereby tasks are set out that relate specifically to a goal. I learned that behavioural activation is key to maintaining good health. > > > My ACT Journey – the next six months (Combined with DBT) June 2011> > This stage of teaching started with self-compassion. That quickly expanded into compassion for others and to forgiveness. I learned about loving kindness and radical acceptance. I engaged with the exercises and developed my mindfulness skills. Through working with the exercises and the concepts, I learned about my in body existence as a child, with likes and dislikes and responses, I learned about the connections between human need and how those needs continue to exist in the same form in adulthood, I learned that all things past are just memories that come and go in the mind...I learned many things from practicing the exercises. > > I learned about primary and secondary emotions. I was taught to identify and label thoughts, emotions and physical sensations. Then I was told to acknowledge them and allow those experiences to occur. The key was to separate the three experiences. I developed skills in emotional regulation and engaging with the present moment. I meditated a lot and sometimes used it to induce emotional exposure. This process taught me how to recognise where emotions manifest as pain or discomfort in my body and how my thinking process responded to all of that. > > I was taught how to keep my eye on the objective.> > The teaching took a social turn and I benefited from information on how to be assertive without backing-down or offending other people. I learned that we tend to devalue the people we care the most about if we feel we are at risk of losing them so that it hurts less when they are gone. I learned that relationships are pivotal to maintaining a sense of being wanted. These lessons also took me though the skills to maintaining self-respect, like reciprocity and fairness, the perpetual urge to apologise and its link to taking the blame, and the importance of holding fast on your values, the things that are most important to you. > > The challenges ahead include `urge surfing', more `emotional exposure', increased social interaction and `committed action'.> > __________________________________________________________ > > That's it for now...> > Lou> -- Barbara White, MFTMarriage and Family Therapistbarbarawhitetherapy.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 17, 2011 Report Share Posted June 17, 2011 I often get that same positive surge of energy after I decide to share a current rabbit hole experience with my wife. It sounds so ridiculous coming out of my mouth I usually laugh out loud. Hmmmm. That's also the feeling of true acceptance of something I can't change. Bill> To: ACT_for_the_Public > Date: Fri, 17 Jun 2011 22:29:39 +0000> Subject: Re: My ACT/DBT Journey> > I know I have been talking a lot lately so...last post today...thanks for listening.> > After I posted my journey it occurred to me how arrogant and narcissistic of me to assume that others would even be interested. Hmmm, damn it...yes, notice that. O.K. maybe it is...I really don't know, maybe it's not too.> > Anyway, time ticks on and the thinking moves again. For some unknown reason I have a surge of positive energy (emotion/physical sensation) so I'm going to work on staying with that one today.> > Best wishes to all,> > Lou :-)> > > > >> > Hello Group,> > > > This week I finished 20 weeks of DBT classes. I learned a lot of skills and wanted to record the experience so that I could draw on it later, (when I falter) to serve as a reminder. For me this is a working document that I will continue to add to as my experience evolves.> > > > > > My ACT Journey – the first year (Macro perspective) 2010-2011> > > > He started by telling me I am not my thoughts. I learned to make a distinction which gave me some distance. He then taught me how language can trap you into believing what is not true. I learned how to identify the "I am..." statements and how they are not definitive or absolute. He taught me how to identify emotion and to recognise it as a condition of being human. This education enabled me to see and feel myself as a whole human being as opposed to being fragmented and confused. He calls it the `observing self' which is that sense of `who' you are. Having that sense of self is a grounding experience because it enables a wider perspective and a degree of self-compassion. He taught me that I am not a product of my environment nor am I validated (exist) by constantly seeking approval from others. > > > > I learned about avoidance strategies and why they are so effective in the short-term and ineffective over the long-term. He taught me about traps into poor thinking. I learned to recognise black and white thinking and to challenge my perspective by seeking other alternatives. I learned how to be aware of past or future thinking and spend more time in the present moment. This enables me to see and think more clearly about what I am engaged in at any particular moment.> > > > The next stage of teaching involved identifying what is most important to me. He gave me ten areas of life (domains) where I had to label what I value most in each domain. I learned that when I behave in a manner that is contrary to my values I become distressed, negative and inflexible. I also learned that when I follow my values and fail, I end up in the same place. I was asked to create a pathway for my direction by determining goals (using verbs and adverbs) based on my values. The next thing I learned was committed action whereby tasks are set out that relate specifically to a goal. I learned that behavioural activation is key to maintaining good health.> > > > > > My ACT Journey – the next six months (Combined with DBT) June 2011> > > > This stage of teaching started with self-compassion. That quickly expanded into compassion for others and to forgiveness. I learned about loving kindness and radical acceptance. I engaged with the exercises and developed my mindfulness skills. Through working with the exercises and the concepts, I learned about my in body existence as a child, with likes and dislikes and responses, I learned about the connections between human need and how those needs continue to exist in the same form in adulthood, I learned that all things past are just memories that come and go in the mind...I learned many things from practicing the exercises.> > > > I learned about primary and secondary emotions. I was taught to identify and label thoughts, emotions and physical sensations. Then I was told to acknowledge them and allow those experiences to occur. The key was to separate the three experiences. I developed skills in emotional regulation and engaging with the present moment. I meditated a lot and sometimes used it to induce emotional exposure. This process taught me how to recognise where emotions manifest as pain or discomfort in my body and how my thinking process responded to all of that.> > > > I was taught how to keep my eye on the objective.> > > > The teaching took a social turn and I benefited from information on how to be assertive without backing-down or offending other people. I learned that we tend to devalue the people we care the most about if we feel we are at risk of losing them so that it hurts less when they are gone. I learned that relationships are pivotal to maintaining a sense of being wanted. These lessons also took me though the skills to maintaining self-respect, like reciprocity and fairness, the perpetual urge to apologise and its link to taking the blame, and the importance of holding fast on your values, the things that are most important to you. > > > > The challenges ahead include `urge surfing', more `emotional exposure', increased social interaction and `committed action'.> > > > _________________________________________________________________> > > > That's it for now...> > > > Lou> >> > > > > ------------------------------------> > For other ACT materials and list serves see www.contextualpsychology.org> > If you do not wish to belong to ACT_for_the_Public, you may > unsubscribe by sending an email to > ACT_for_the_Public-unsubscribe@...! Groups Links> > <*> To visit your group on the web, go to:> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/> > <*> Your email settings:> Individual Email | Traditional> > <*> To change settings online go to:> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/join> (Yahoo! ID required)> > <*> To change settings via email:> ACT_for_the_Public-digest > ACT_for_the_Public-fullfeatured > > <*> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 18, 2011 Report Share Posted June 18, 2011 Just read in detail this evening, It's much like conclusion of ACT and DBT, I saved a copy as reference to myself. Just want to add a few point, when we fail to follow our value, It's much like notice the mind goes stray in meditation, just need to gently bring it back! this very helpful to me --- repeating commitment to one's value. I also committed to be assertive(set boundary) use non-violence way( to me non-violence means not force outcome, not use angry language, speak or behavior impulsively ), stick to my value and be flexible, This skills comes easy over time, now I even can do it use playful/easy manner. It is also one of my lessons Thanks for sharing & best regards > > Hello Group, > > This week I finished 20 weeks of DBT classes. I learned a lot of skills and wanted to record the experience so that I could draw on it later, (when I falter) to serve as a reminder. For me this is a working document that I will continue to add to as my experience evolves. > > > My ACT Journey – the first year (Macro perspective) 2010-2011 > > He started by telling me I am not my thoughts. I learned to make a distinction which gave me some distance. He then taught me how language can trap you into believing what is not true. I learned how to identify the " I am... " statements and how they are not definitive or absolute. He taught me how to identify emotion and to recognise it as a condition of being human. This education enabled me to see and feel myself as a whole human being as opposed to being fragmented and confused. He calls it the `observing self' which is that sense of `who' you are. Having that sense of self is a grounding experience because it enables a wider perspective and a degree of self-compassion. He taught me that I am not a product of my environment nor am I validated (exist) by constantly seeking approval from others. > > I learned about avoidance strategies and why they are so effective in the short-term and ineffective over the long-term. He taught me about traps into poor thinking. I learned to recognise black and white thinking and to challenge my perspective by seeking other alternatives. I learned how to be aware of past or future thinking and spend more time in the present moment. This enables me to see and think more clearly about what I am engaged in at any particular moment. > > The next stage of teaching involved identifying what is most important to me. He gave me ten areas of life (domains) where I had to label what I value most in each domain. I learned that when I behave in a manner that is contrary to my values I become distressed, negative and inflexible. I also learned that when I follow my values and fail, I end up in the same place. I was asked to create a pathway for my direction by determining goals (using verbs and adverbs) based on my values. The next thing I learned was committed action whereby tasks are set out that relate specifically to a goal. I learned that behavioural activation is key to maintaining good health. > > > My ACT Journey – the next six months (Combined with DBT) June 2011 > > This stage of teaching started with self-compassion. That quickly expanded into compassion for others and to forgiveness. I learned about loving kindness and radical acceptance. I engaged with the exercises and developed my mindfulness skills. Through working with the exercises and the concepts, I learned about my in body existence as a child, with likes and dislikes and responses, I learned about the connections between human need and how those needs continue to exist in the same form in adulthood, I learned that all things past are just memories that come and go in the mind...I learned many things from practicing the exercises. > > I learned about primary and secondary emotions. I was taught to identify and label thoughts, emotions and physical sensations. Then I was told to acknowledge them and allow those experiences to occur. The key was to separate the three experiences. I developed skills in emotional regulation and engaging with the present moment. I meditated a lot and sometimes used it to induce emotional exposure. This process taught me how to recognise where emotions manifest as pain or discomfort in my body and how my thinking process responded to all of that. > > I was taught how to keep my eye on the objective. > > The teaching took a social turn and I benefited from information on how to be assertive without backing-down or offending other people. I learned that we tend to devalue the people we care the most about if we feel we are at risk of losing them so that it hurts less when they are gone. I learned that relationships are pivotal to maintaining a sense of being wanted. These lessons also took me though the skills to maintaining self-respect, like reciprocity and fairness, the perpetual urge to apologise and its link to taking the blame, and the importance of holding fast on your values, the things that are most important to you. > > The challenges ahead include `urge surfing', more `emotional exposure', increased social interaction and `committed action'. > > _________________________________________________________________ > > That's it for now... > > Lou > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 18, 2011 Report Share Posted June 18, 2011 Do you know, Lou, I wrote story about my night out a few weeks back where I was amazed how being made to go out against my will (my girlfriend made me) which transformed my oppinion of myself so dramatically. I even had a lot of unexpected fun too. I was so stunned by this transformation that I posted about it here but I really regreted putting it out afterwards. Like you I thought this was narcistic (and in my case it probably was - even my girlfriend say's my favourite subject is me) Anyway, I liked your posts today, which I didn't find narcistic at all. I could see how jubilant you are about all this, no wonder you wanted to share it. Personally my better posts are probably the shorter ones, as lots of people are too tired to read the long ones. Kv > > > > Hello Group, > > > > This week I finished 20 weeks of DBT classes. I learned a lot of skills and wanted to record the experience so that I could draw on it later, (when I falter) to serve as a reminder. For me this is a working document that I will continue to add to as my experience evolves. > > > > > > My ACT Journey – the first year (Macro perspective) 2010-2011 > > > > He started by telling me I am not my thoughts. I learned to make a distinction which gave me some distance. He then taught me how language can trap you into believing what is not true. I learned how to identify the " I am... " statements and how they are not definitive or absolute. He taught me how to identify emotion and to recognise it as a condition of being human. This education enabled me to see and feel myself as a whole human being as opposed to being fragmented and confused. He calls it the `observing self' which is that sense of `who' you are. Having that sense of self is a grounding experience because it enables a wider perspective and a degree of self-compassion. He taught me that I am not a product of my environment nor am I validated (exist) by constantly seeking approval from others. > > > > I learned about avoidance strategies and why they are so effective in the short-term and ineffective over the long-term. He taught me about traps into poor thinking. I learned to recognise black and white thinking and to challenge my perspective by seeking other alternatives. I learned how to be aware of past or future thinking and spend more time in the present moment. This enables me to see and think more clearly about what I am engaged in at any particular moment. > > > > The next stage of teaching involved identifying what is most important to me. He gave me ten areas of life (domains) where I had to label what I value most in each domain. I learned that when I behave in a manner that is contrary to my values I become distressed, negative and inflexible. I also learned that when I follow my values and fail, I end up in the same place. I was asked to create a pathway for my direction by determining goals (using verbs and adverbs) based on my values. The next thing I learned was committed action whereby tasks are set out that relate specifically to a goal. I learned that behavioural activation is key to maintaining good health. > > > > > > My ACT Journey – the next six months (Combined with DBT) June 2011 > > > > This stage of teaching started with self-compassion. That quickly expanded into compassion for others and to forgiveness. I learned about loving kindness and radical acceptance. I engaged with the exercises and developed my mindfulness skills. Through working with the exercises and the concepts, I learned about my in body existence as a child, with likes and dislikes and responses, I learned about the connections between human need and how those needs continue to exist in the same form in adulthood, I learned that all things past are just memories that come and go in the mind...I learned many things from practicing the exercises. > > > > I learned about primary and secondary emotions. I was taught to identify and label thoughts, emotions and physical sensations. Then I was told to acknowledge them and allow those experiences to occur. The key was to separate the three experiences. I developed skills in emotional regulation and engaging with the present moment. I meditated a lot and sometimes used it to induce emotional exposure. This process taught me how to recognise where emotions manifest as pain or discomfort in my body and how my thinking process responded to all of that. > > > > I was taught how to keep my eye on the objective. > > > > The teaching took a social turn and I benefited from information on how to be assertive without backing-down or offending other people. I learned that we tend to devalue the people we care the most about if we feel we are at risk of losing them so that it hurts less when they are gone. I learned that relationships are pivotal to maintaining a sense of being wanted. These lessons also took me though the skills to maintaining self-respect, like reciprocity and fairness, the perpetual urge to apologise and its link to taking the blame, and the importance of holding fast on your values, the things that are most important to you. > > > > The challenges ahead include `urge surfing', more `emotional exposure', increased social interaction and `committed action'. > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > > > > That's it for now... > > > > Lou > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 19, 2011 Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 Hi Lou. I also both saved and printed out your thoughts. Valuable. Best, Robyn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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