Re: Article to share :) Long post warning (re: connecting, community, friends)

[Guest guest]

Didn't really care for this article, but it's a good conversation starter about

what seems to work and what doesn't and what each of us might want to do about

it, so thanks. That stuff about sending cards to people you loathe is a bit

silly to me. I mean, I can see learning to accept them, but seeking them out? No

thanks, I have better things to do with my time.

My sense it's really not about we all do this and that too much or this and that

too little, but about getting very organic with yourself (as puts it so

well!), with what you're about, getting real and bold about what my values and

committed goals are.

I have a younger dear relative (who lives in the USA) who knows so much more

about building community than I do. It is her number one value..she works very,

very hard at seeking out and maintaining friendships with those who share her

basic core values. If someone cancels, she makes sure not to have it slide..she

follows up. She was always an activist and began her career as a community

planner, so this is her passion anyhow and much of it comes natural for her. She

plants her small garden in her humble little home. They recycle. They build

things from scratch. They go to farmers markets and cook together. They ride

their bikes. He works for a non-profit and has tons of friends from there. And

yeah, they do some face-book and internet stuff. They're basically kind of

couple that can make you feel really inferior if you play compare game too much

and aren't living your values.

And they're far from perfect. And I'm not them and don't want to be exactly like

them, but wow.. talk about inspiration. I visit her and am in awe at how she and

her husband have built such a loving community of friends. And her friends love

her back and extend this love to people like me.

I was fortunate in that I grew up with a strong community of friends and yet the

thing is I never had to work for it. (So maybe that part wasn't so fortunate).

My parents just had lots of friends through political groups and their friends

had kids my age. And I connected with a small but loving group of friends whom I

stay connected with for many years. Then we all got older and folks moved

away, got married, jobs busy with life, children and so forth.

But the real truth is I never learned how to do this sort of thing. It does take

work. And it takes believing you have something to offer, and others have

something to offer you. Underneath it all, for many years (and I still have lots

of doubts) I truly thought I didn't have much to offer others. I think what

said a while back (sorry to keep quoting folks like and Steve, but

thank god they've opened up to us and inspired me)when he spoke of his process

of saying " YES " to the world, what he learned over the years has moved me

tremendously. Like being willing to both be carried and carry others. I am

re-connecting with others now and open to this much more than I ever was. Some

are not interested, and so I let that go, and some are.

So this building larger networks of community and friends is all very very new

and frightening to me. And it is hard work And incredibly rewarding.

So I watch my relative and I take in what I can. This is becoming a very strong

value for me. Role models are so very helpful. So grateful for all my role

models.

Happy Memorial Day Weekend everyone! Even if you're flying solo, make yourself

something special or do something kind for yourself. Get out. You may surprise

yourself and make a friend. Have fun.

Best,

Theresa

>

> Hi all,

>

> I just thought I would share this article from cracked.com called " 7 Reasons

> the 21st Century is Making You Miserable. " In a way, I consider this very

> ACT-relevant... in the past, we were more willing to deal with social

> discomfort due to the motivations of getting what we need. Now, we don't

> need to interact socially to get what we want or need. This isn't a

> scientific article, but I found it very inspiring.

>

>

http://www.cracked.com/article_15231_7-reasons-21st-century-making-you-miserable\

..html

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