kathy/sharon

[Guest guest]

kathy,

first of all it is ok to 'lose' it my dad died in 9/05 and i still 'lose' it, it

is terrible at times, but you pick up the pieces and go again, and yes dont

forget to take care of you first, makes everything easier, can your therapist

do hynosis, i had a therapist years ago did hypnosis on me and even years later

when i get over stressed i will take audible deep breaths and not realize it,

she also hypnotized me that whenever i craft, glue, sew, stitch, tape, etc, that

a part of me was healing. nice mental picture to help me. good luck and hugs,

sharon

---- KJ Hatcher wrote:

HI Sharon

Thanks for the advice. I actually lost it a bit after my Dad died last

year. I finally took my doctor's advice and saw a councillor. I have

learned to start thinking of me and I have to say except for the last two

weeks I have done pretty well. Got myself back on track today as I have

been feeling really rotten the last two weeks. I have found that if I take

breaks for myself I have the patience to deal with whatever phase Mom is

going through.

Thanks for the kind words. A reminder never hurts.

Kathy

_____

From: LBDcaregivers [mailto:LBDcaregivers ]

On Behalf Of LadySmilingAtU2@...

Sent: May 11, 2007 12:07 AM

To: LBDcaregivers

Subject: Re: Hello from a new Member

Kathy,

welcome to our family, my husband and i caregave for my father since jan

2003 until his death in sept 2005, it was very difficult at times, my dad

have scary hallucinations and i was always the demon in his mind when he had

them, i am an only child and my parents divorced in 1988 and my mom has no

compassion nor patience so if she and dad were still married at the time,

dad would have been in a nursing home for years before his death instead of

just a few months.

you have to take care of yourself, you needed teh vacation, you need the cg

hlep but you also need some YOU time, whether you like to have your hair

done, or just go to the park and read you need several hours a week to

yourself for yourself without having errands to run or responsibilities to

do, take it from someone who learned it the hard way, i have chronic health

issues and thought i was superwoman and overrrode my own health issues and

wound my knocking on deaths store and hosp for 5 weeks with a double kidney

infection where my pee was completely blood red, more blood than pee,

intestinal blockage, and then a staff infection, i came home the day dad

fell and had to have emergency hip surgery which was the start of his

decline, i came home july 5, he went in hosp july 5 and died sept 25 after

popping his hip out of joint again,

but please take care of yourself so you can take care of your mom, give

yourself some time and with lbd fluctuations and delusions they could happen

anytime anywhere,

good luck and hugs, sharon a-m

---- ladyscotia2 <kjhatcherns (DOT) <mailto:kjhatcher%40ns.sympatico.ca>

sympatico.ca> wrote:

Hi everyone and especially all those who have been so kind already.

I am the primary caregiver for my mom who was diagnosed with

Parkinsons 15 years ago and with Lewy Body Dementia two years ago.

For some time, in addition to my regular paid job, I was caregiver to

both of my parents who live with me. My dad was in pretty good health

until he bacame ill suddenly last summer and then passed away a month

and a half later at 88.

The LBD had been rapidly advancing in my Mom starting in the spring of

last year and my Dad's illness and passing really took it's toll. She

is 87 now.

I am on my own as my brother passed away 16 years ago. I have an

older sister but she lives on the other side of the country. Most of

her friends have passed away, others are sick themselves, or are very

uncomfortable with dementia. Just before my Dad died, we had started

bringing in a caregiver for a few hours every few weeks. We did this

to help her adjust and as I said to my Dad - to help us learn to let

go a bit. I now have a caregiver here 5 days a week during my working

hours and with the exception of one evening a week for 3 hours - I am

back in my caregiving job once the paid job is done.

Mom's decline has been rather rapid since last year but until

recently, she has been fairly stable. I think that taking my first

vacation in 10 years and putting her in a respite home really confused

her as I expected but when I did it again to go on a short work

related trip - I think the change finally tripped her delusions.

Hopefully the changes her neurologist made today will help. He has

cut her Parkinson's meds in half. She seems to be happier tonight but

I am trying not to get my hopes up to high. She might be happier

because we have had two sunny days with +20 Celcius temperature. Sure

made me happier I know - :-) I expect she will improve for awhile but

I know the decline will continue. I take joy in every day I have her -

and I try very hard not to think about the time she will have to go

to a nursing home. I have her on the year long waiting list but I

will deal with that when the call comes.

Enough rambling for tonight. Thank you for your comments and I want

to thank the creators of this message board. I have learned more

about LBD since last night than I have in the last year - not to

mention finding a wonderful, caring group of people from all over.

I will have to watch myself or I will be spending too many hours here -

but it is excellent therapy.

Thank you all from my Mom and myself - Kathy

--

I am daugher of Leonard, diagnosed May 2004, probably had lbd since

1993,.Dad had a serious fall in 7/05 causing him to hav hip surgery .After

that he developed aspiration pneumonia 7/05 with pulmonary embolyis, which

he almost died from. He had a 2nd bout of aspiration pneumonia and uti 8/05.

He died when his blood pressure fluctuations started dropping without coming

back up on 9/25/05,

may he rest in peace with his mom and dad,

a smile a day keeps the meanies away