tori/sharon m

[Guest guest]

tori,

i was out of town i am sorry that i didnt get to answer you sooner, but TO HELL

WITH MIL, ok that is out of my system, first of all, whomever takes care of

dizz when she is out of town should be able to take him to the doctor if he

needs to go, if he was to have a major medical crisis God Forbid please, like

a stroke or heart attack would she expect you to wait till she came home to take

him to the doctor, how selfish of a woman she is.

and i see you were right, everything when it comes to her luxury trips and your

familys naerness in locale, has made you the scape goat for doing the care etc.

there are many nh that can take dizz for a 2 week respite while she goes out of

town, that way you can go and visit and see that he is ok but the main respons

of caring for him will be someone elses responisibily. tori you are only one

person, you cannot manage your family needs and dizz's needs esp if she ties

your hands with you cant take him to the doctor etc. tell her to put him in

respite and you would be glad to check on him daily and make sure that he is ok.

you keep using us as your sounding board, that is one of the many reasons we are

here. to help you any way we can,

hugs, sharon m

--

Daugher of Leonard, diag May 2004, had lbd since 1993, had hip surgery from fall

7/05, aspiration pneumonia 7/05 with pulmonary embolyis, had aspiration

pneumonia and uti 8/05, died of blood pressure drop on 9/25/05,

may he rest in peace with his mom and dad,

a smile a day keeps the meanies away

---- ceemeebehapy wrote:

I find myself in need of encouragement. I feel that I always take

from you guys and never give back. Take, take, take, but never give

back.

I'm a bit in the downey dumps today. We just got back from caring

for Dizz while MIL was back East for a 50 year class reunion. We

moved in the Dyslins house as our house is full! She was gone for 5

days. It was great to be there for Dizz but too it was exhausting.

Not just caring for him but trying to meet my family's needs as

well. Just to note, Bekah has been limping on her right foot, the

one that had the most surgery last summer. No one can figure out

why, so now we have to set up a bunch of appts in Phoenix to find

out what's up.

Dizz is having trouble operating the artificial sphinxter, so I had

to go in with him everytime he goes potty. He is up at night almost

every hour complaining of pain or pressure. I suggested to MIL to

have him checked for a UTI but she says we don't have time because

she leaves again on July 12th for the second half of her reunion. I

asked if she trusted me taking Dad by myself to visit the doctor but

she said the doctor wouldn't like it. I said I didn't care about

the blasted doctor's feelings, I care about Dad. She said she'd

think about it. I also think they need to see if they can keep

that " valve " open for more than 10 seconds at a time to release the

urine so that we don't have to press it 85 times in one sitting. I

hope you all understand this. Anyway, it was very tiring and in two

weeks we get to do it again. Whcich leads me to another problem.

However, I foresaw this coming.

During our family meeting back in April, we encouraged MIL to go on

these trips and not to worry cause we'd, the kids, would take of

Dad. and I were to cover the first trip, now completed, and my

SIL and her husband were going to cover this next 2 week trip in

July. The plan was that SIL would come here get Dad and fly back to

their home in Santee, California where they would care for Pop

there. Well it seems that MIL and SIL feel that that is not a good

plan for Dad. The problem is that SIL and BIL wouldn't be able to

come here to care for him either. So my family will have to move in

to the Dyslin's again for the two-weeks that MIL is gone.

Now I know this may sound heartless on my part, as you all know that

I love Dizz to distraction and would do anything to make sure his

needs are met. But on the other hand I have a responsibility to my

family as well. Two-weeks would really put a hurting on that. Not

to mention put me over the edge. Am I being selfish? I mean, when

I think of what some of you have to do to care for your LO's I feel

extremely selfish by even suggesting that it's too much for me. But

I'm not dillusional either, I know my limits. And I realize too that

I can't sacrifice my family for this either.

I'm stuck my friends. I could use your prayers and positive thoughts.

I love Dizz very much and don't want him to suffer in any way. Oh

what to do, what to do?

Tori

FIL dx 1/06, saw signs since 2004, kidney failure 2/06, NH for rehab

3/06, kicked out by insurance 3/06, diabetic, history of prostate

cancer, artificial sphinxter implanted (valve needs to be pinched to

release urine)