Re: Jan/sorry

[Guest guest]

jan, thank you so much for your most empathic letter. those are all

the things i feel!

this week i have been so busy with my dad, and the kids, and ive been

missing my little jessy and trying to hold back the tears. today, my

year old ADHD son got angry and punched the window, he cut his wrist

SO BAD, all i saw was blood and screaming, i grabbed the kids

straignt into the car, and speeded off to the hospital. my bipolar

daughter was screaming and screaming with hysteria. jarod, my son was

screaming with pain. at the hosp, they stitched 2 layers.

when we eventually got home, i cried, but i mean CRIED - i sobbed and

sobbed and sobbed, my husband came straight home, and my mom too. my

head was aching i stuck my whole head under cold water. hair wrapped

in a towel, and face puffed and red and STILL crying, this is what my

poor husband and mom came home to.

just too much. I phoned my dad but he was confused. unfortunately he

cannot use the computer.

the reason his wife is going to australia, is that her sons and

brother emigrated there years ago, and she wants to be near them and

feels she needs their support.

but i am DEVASTATED - my child has died - my dad LOST HIS GRANDCHILD

this year, he " buried a grandchild " - it absolutely finished him. and

i agree, it hurts SO BAD that she can take him away from me at this

point.

im trying to be unselfish and think its not just about ME!

but it hurts. i try to talk to my dad, he seems to communicate to me

that he doesn't want to be separated from his wife, but he is

absolutely afraid to emigrate, he is afraid of all the strangeness he

will encounter. they've already sold their apartement. this year was

just too much for my dad - loss of his grandchild, planning to leave,

his home being sold.

i am terrified for him to be put through this move, AND flight!

jan

-- In LBDcaregivers , Janet Colello

wrote:

>

> Dearest Jan,

> My heart aches to hear all you have been through and now this.

Please feel free to vent on all your grievances. You have way more

than anyone should have to bear. 

> I don't know what to say other than your stepmother is making a big

mistake. Sometimes just moving a person with LBD to another

surrounding makes them anxious, but to fly your dad from South Africa

to Australia is a very long flight. It was very hard on my husband

just to fly across the U.S. from the West Coast to the East Coast

with one stop. He became very aggressive acting out and confused. It

was not a fun trip. We could have been tossed off the airplane, these

days they probably would have. I didn't realize it would effect him

that way. I will never take my husband on a long flight again unless

he was sedated and I wouldn't want to do that to him.

> What is the reasoning behind this, does your stepmother think she

can get better care for your dad in Australia? Did you say that is

where she is from? But how long has she been in South Africa; why

would she want to make a move like that now??!! Family can be

ruthless. I don't understand at a time like this when you need your

dad and he needs you why she would take him that far away from you.

It is such a loss to you.

> You have had more than your share of problems to deal with. I can't

even imagine how unbearable this must be for you. Is your dad capable

of using a computer to communicate with you?

> I am so sorry for you.

> Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers to give you strength

through all this.

> Huge Hugs.......................Jan C.

>

>

>

> ________________________________

>

> To: LBDcaregivers

> Sent: Thursday, November 6, 2008 12:24:40 PM

> Subject: sorry

>

>

> i also just want to say im sorry i keep telling some of you that i

lost

> my child earlier this year. technically it has nothing to do with

this

> group. but i am in agony BECAUSE i am already so traumatised, and

now

> having to face what is going on with my dad.

> i am so very very afraid, and in pain

> love jan

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