Hallucinations

[Guest guest]

My dad was diagnosed in June, 2005 at the age of 63. My mom is the

primary caregiver. He has changed so much in 1 year. Alot more

than mom & I expected. He still lives at home with mom. Mom's

nerves are frazzled but she is not ready for him to go to a nursing

home. The hardest part on mom is his hallucinations are about her

and other men. He accuses her of having affairs. He tells her that

they just push him out of the way. His hallucinations are very

graphic. He asks her why did you leave last night. She tells him I

didn't go anywhere. I have been right by you all night. He looks

at her with disgust & says he can't believe she is doing this to

their marriage of 44 years. This goes on for hours. Sometimes he

tells her to take him riding so he can look for them. She'll tell

him there is no-one but she'll take him on hour long drives because

by the time they get back, he has calmed down. They wake up in the

morning, she can't get out of bed until he does because if he wakes

up & she isn't there, he thinks she has left him. These days use to

be far & few. Now, they may have 1 - 2 days good out of 7. He

tells me there is a problem and then goes on to tell me that mom is

bringing men in the house and having affairs. I tell him they are

just bad dreams. I know they are real to him but it is just a bad

dream. That we love him very much and would not ever hurt him.

Somedays, they will sit at the table for 1 - 3 hours with dad

questioning her and then silent treatment the rest of the day. Then

at 4:00, he acts like nothing ever happened. Then the next morning,

it is the same thing again. His medication has been increased. Mom

has talked to his Dr who tells her that the rationilization part of

his brain is gone and she is his only link to reality. They have

always had a great relationship. Mom is very hurt that dad sees her

this way. I just wish there was something I could do. I feel so

helpless. Mom feels helpless. She gets no breaks because if she is

gone, dad accuses her of having an affair. This has NEVER been a

factor in their marriage. The Dr. says dad has deep insecurities

that mom is going to leave him and this is how is brain is acting

out. Sorry for all the venting. I don't post much but I do read

all the postings. I guess if I posted more, I wouldn't have to vent

for so long. Thanks for listening. I am glad I have a place where

I can go and people understand. Is anyone else having these

problems? How do you handle it?