Re: suggestions?

[Guest guest]

Hi Susie,

It is really difficult to care for our LO's when they don't think they

need it. Perhaps you could approach having someone come in to help your

dad by explaining that this person is here to do light house cleaning

duties and to cook thereby freeing up his time for things he enjoys (you

can explain to the caregiver that this is the story and to stick to

it). I'm sure he'll object but perhaps you can make an appeal to him

that YOU are the worse for wear because of all the worrying you are

doing over him. Yes, its fibbing and a bit of a guilt trip but we do

what we must - I've had to tell my mom some whoppers before she entered

the end stages of this disease.

In time, this disease will make it more and more difficult for your dad

to object but it will help all involved if you start formulating a plan

today. Other than having someone come into the house are there other

people in your lives who could go by your dad's house to check on

him/spend time with him to ensure his safety?

Courage

[Guest guest]

Hi Susie,

Welcome! I am sorry to hear what has brought you to us but you have come to the

right

place for experienced advice, support, love, a place to vent, share and

formulate plans as

you do so. Your story reminds me so much of my mother living alone in her

apartment at

about the same stage your father is now and refusing assistance. He needs help,

regardless of how he thinks he is coping. Is he on medication he will be

forgetting to take

as well as what you describe?

When Mom finally agreed to have help go in morning and evening to assist with

dressing

and undressing, weekly bath, I told her to try it as a " trial " and if it didn't

work we could

stop them from going. She did let them go, then realized that yes, she needed

the help so

they were rehired. At that stage I found the irrational thought, inability to

make realistic

decisions and continual changing of the mind very difficult emotionally to deal

with. At

the time we did not have an LBD diagnosis so I didn't know what was going on nor

where it

would lead. All the best to you.

, Oakville Ont.

Mom 92, 12 1/2 years " Parkinsons "

3 1/2 years ago LBD diagnosis, evident much longer in hindsight.

Encouraged to give up her licence 6 years ago.

Currently immobile, in tilt wheelchair, spoonfed pureed food. Spends most of

days behind

closed eyes.

Eltroxin, Tylenol 1g 3 times a day, Mobicox twice a day

Off Aricept since Feb./06

>

> I'm new to group - Dad is 80 & has probable diagnosis of LBD. 1st thought it

was

Parkinsons, then Essential Tremor, then his memory started failing, and the

possibility of

LBD came up. He lives alone still. Remembering to eat (or wanting to eat) is an

on/off

thing -- he doesn't cook at all, but will fix cereal, microwave popcorn, and eat

cookies/

milk. Eats pretty well when we put something in front of him. I'm noticing less

frequent

showers, forgetting to use denture cream to hold them in place. His stability is

really bad;

getting out of chair is esp. hard. Has fallen (more like sunk to the ground) 3x

in the last

week. He finally agreed to try the walker this week. He doesn't want someone

coming in to

help ( " I'm fine " ); doesn't want to consider a move. Any suggestions for how to

get him to

accept a home care assistant? I read all the other stories and know that what we

deal with

now is simple compared to what is likely coming . . . part of me doesn't want

to rush into

> care that isn't totally necessary; other part says he needs it now, whether

things are

REALLY bad or not.

>

> A friend recommended " The 18-hr Day " and it has been very helpful in

understanding

dementias and suggestions for caregivers . . . but I'm hoping this group will

get me some

input from others " in the soup " . Thanks for listening. Susie

>

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