thank you

[Guest guest]

Hi Ron,

Its so nice to have you back!

Best to you and your mom.

Courage

THANK YOU

I need to thank all of you who sent me supportive messages while I

was away from the group and also if I may explain a little of why I

left.I never left to be a bad guy or because I was mad.I love this

group and you guys have been my family for almost a year now.Ive

learned that a caregiver must take care of them self to take care of

their loved one right here on this group.Also learned of the best

meds for mom and learned what to look for, and most importantly, Ive

met some of the most wonderful people in the world.

I left because I didnt know if it would be a good idea to post

anymore when some here, (and im not blaming them) felt that I was

abusing my mom by keeping her home.Everyones situation is different

and we all have to play the hand were dealt in life.But only speaking

for my self, I cant put my mom in the hands of strangers.When I was a

baby she fed me when I could not eat.She clothed me and kept me

clean, and she protected me when I could not fend for myself.Im a man

now, and she needs help, I can not turn away or leave it to someone

else.I do everything I do out of love for my mother and its not easy,

but it would be much harder to stop than to keep on.

As far as her well being is concerned, I cant imagine how she could

benefit from strangers over people who love her with all of their

entire being.

I will be the first to admit Im not perfect, in fact Im probably the

furthest from perfect on this entire group.But I know no one could

love my mom and care for her more than I do.Just like you all love

your lo more than anyone else could.

This group of people is without question the most caring and

wonderful people Ive ever known, and Im honored to be back.Thank you

Ron

[Guest guest]

I really admire all of you children caregivers that

want to take care of your parents to the end. It is

the ultimate sacrifice, and obviously, those parents

raised you right.

I would hope my kids would do the same, but I'm not

counting on it.

June

--- Gladys Stefany wrote:

> Oh, Ron! I'm so happy you are back and I so

> understand and agree with what

> you are saying. Some folks have no choice but, when

> there is a choice that

> can be made we all have to respect each other's

> decisions.

>

> When my grandfather suffered from dementia, all his

> children were working

> fulltime jobs and needed them to survive. They

> needed those jobs to feed

> their families. I remember how hard it was for my

> mother to care for three

> growing and very busy teenagers, my father, hold

> down a full-time job and

> still manage to get to the nursing home at least

> once a week and, to

> frequently, get called at work from the nursing home

> because they needed her

> to handle my grandfather.

>

> We learn so much from life's experiences. I have a

> front page newspaper

> article here from a major New Jersey newspaper dated

> 1973. The article was

> about my grandfather and cited his status as a

> disabled veteran who served

> in the British Army during WWI until he got mustard

> gassed and they

> discharged him. What did he do? He got back on his

> feet and enrolled in

> the US Army, NY 11 Corps of Engineers and went right

> back to the front. The

> article talked about how sad it was that his

> children entrusted his care to

> a nursing home that nearly killed him with a drug

> overdose because he

> wandered " and they didn't want to be bothered

> chasing after him. Duh! That

> s why his kids put him there. They could have

> drugged him but they wanted

> better for him.

>

> Anyway, they found out about the drugging and

> transferred him to the VA

> hospital where they nursed him back to physical

> health and then moved him to

> a far better nursing home that was a much further

> distance from his children

> What did we all learn? He had six living

> children. If they had set up a

> schedule where they each went one day a week and

> varied the times they

> showed up it would have been much harder for the

> first nursing home to abuse

> him.

>

> My mother-in-law died in a Nursing Home in Bedford,

> VA. It was the total

> opposite of what my grandfather experienced. It was

> a beautiful facility

> with views of the Blue Ridge Mountains from every

> window. The people were

> so wonderful to her and so very patient with all the

> patients. Even with

> that, my sister-in-law (who worked there) got a call

> one day that my

> mother-in-law's room mate had been hitting her and

> they just found out about

> it and moved her to another room. No matter how

> careful you are.......

>

> As for me, I'm blessed to be able to be here for my

> mother. I'm blessed

> that my husband and kids are willing to take this

> one with me. I have

> visited every nursing home within an hour of here

> and not found one that

> doesn't wreak of urine the minute you open the door.

> We aren't blessed with

> beautiful facilities around here and I refuse to let

> my mother spend the

> final years of her life drugged into oblivion,

> sitting in her own urine, and

> lined up in the hallway in wheelchairs drooling with

> everyone else. She

> would never have done that to me.

>

> Those of you who have been blessed to find wonderful

> facilities for your

> loved ones are truly lucky. As I said earlier,

> there are no right or wrong

> answers here. Each family has to arrive at the

> right decision for their

> loved one and for their family. Each answer will be

> unique.

>

> I'm like Ron. While I won't be getting much sleep

> here after Mom moves in

> (hopefully by the end of the month) I know I'll be

> sleeping better than I

> would if she was one of the nursing homes in my

> area. I know that because

> of what happened to my grandfather and my

> mother-in-law, I'd lie awake every

> night wondering if she was being abused or yelled at

> and that is something I

> just can't live with.

>

> Gladys

>

> -- THANK YOU

>

> I need to thank all of you who sent me supportive

> messages while I

> was away from the group and also if I may explain a

> little of why I

> left.I never left to be a bad guy or because I was

> mad.I love this

> group and you guys have been my family for almost a

> year now.Ive

> learned that a caregiver must take care of them self

> to take care of

> their loved one right here on this group.Also

> learned of the best

> meds for mom and learned what to look for, and most

> importantly, Ive

> met some of the most wonderful people in the world.

>

> I left because I didnt know if it would be a good

> idea to post

> anymore when some here, (and im not blaming them)

> felt that I was

> abusing my mom by keeping her home.Everyones

> situation is different

> and we all have to play the hand were dealt in

> life.But only speaking

> for my self, I cant put my mom in the hands of

> strangers.When I was a

> baby she fed me when I could not eat.She clothed me

> and kept me

> clean, and she protected me when I could not fend

> for myself.Im a man

> now, and she needs help, I can not turn away or

> leave it to someone

> else.I do everything I do out of love for my mother

> and its not easy,

> but it would be much harder to stop than to keep on.

>

> As far as her well being is concerned, I cant

> imagine how she could

> benefit from strangers over people who love her with

> all of their

> entire being.

>

> I will be the first to admit Im not perfect, in fact

> Im probably the

> furthest from perfect on this entire group.But I

> know no one could

> love my mom and care for her more than I do.Just

> like you all love

> your lo more than anyone else could.

>

> This group of people is without question the most

> caring and

> wonderful people Ive ever known, and Im honored to

> be back.Thank you

>

> Ron

>

>

>

>

>

> Welcome to LBDcaregivers.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Manatee snot huh? I can handle most bodily fluids but I draw the line at snot,

thats nasty!

haahaahaa ;-)

Emma

> >

> > I need to thank all of you who sent me supportive messages while

> I

> > was away from the group and also if I may explain a little of why I

> > left.I never left to be a bad guy or because I was mad.I love this

> > group and you guys have been my family for almost a year now.Ive

> > learned that a caregiver must take care of them self to take care

> of

> > their loved one right here on this group.Also learned of the best

> > meds for mom and learned what to look for, and most importantly,

> Ive

> > met some of the most wonderful people in the world.

> >

> > I left because I didnt know if it would be a good idea to post

> > anymore when some here, (and im not blaming them) felt that I was

> > abusing my mom by keeping her home.Everyones situation is different

> > and we all have to play the hand were dealt in life.But only

> speaking

> > for my self, I cant put my mom in the hands of strangers.When I was

> a

> > baby she fed me when I could not eat.She clothed me and kept me

> > clean, and she protected me when I could not fend for myself.Im a

> man

> > now, and she needs help, I can not turn away or leave it to someone

> > else.I do everything I do out of love for my mother and its not

> easy,

> > but it would be much harder to stop than to keep on.

> >

> > As far as her well being is concerned, I cant imagine how she could

> > benefit from strangers over people who love her with all of their

> > entire being.

> >

> > I will be the first to admit Im not perfect, in fact Im probably

> the

> > furthest from perfect on this entire group.But I know no one could

> > love my mom and care for her more than I do.Just like you all love

> > your lo more than anyone else could.

> >

> > This group of people is without question the most caring and

> > wonderful people Ive ever known, and Im honored to be back.Thank you

> > Ron

> >

>

[Guest guest]

,

Do let us know how you are and keep in touch. It may get quiet at your house.

And we are here.

Hugs.

Donna R

Caregave for Mom (after I brought her from WI to MI) for 3 years and 4th year in

a nh.

She was almost 89 when she died in '02. No dx other than mine.

Thank you

Dear Dena, Lynn, Dianne, , Courage, Sandie and ,

We are just getting back in town from the funeral services. I just

wanted to thank all of you who sent me a note and for the prayers and

well wishes.

Sorry I am not responding to each individually, but your words are much

appreciated. Thanks for your support.

I hope I haven't missed anyone...but there is a lot going on on the

board.

Take care,

Daughter of Bill, 92