WEIGHTS & MEASURES!

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http://www.gdu-cal.org/forward/2002-fall.html

WEIGHTS & MEASURES!

Here in the United States, we use the English system of weights and measures

We use it even though the English have converted to the Metric system, like

much of the rest of the world. Here are some conversion factors to help my

fellow Americans.

Useful English System conversions/units:

Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi

2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University

Hospital: 1 I.V. League

2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton

1 millionth mouthwash: 1 microscope

Speed of a tortoise breaking the sound barrier: Mach Turtle

Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: Knot furlong

365.25 days of drinking low calorie beer because it's less filling: 1 lite

year

16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod Sterling

Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon

1000 aches: 1 megahurtz

Weight an evangelist carries with God: 1 billigram

Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower

Shortest distance between two jokes: A straight line

Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: bananosecond

A Half-Bath: 1 demijohn

Given the old adage " a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step

" the first step of a one-mile journey: 1 Milwaukee

1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 Fig Newton

1000 grams of wet socks: 1 literhosen

1 millionth of a fish: 1 microfiche

10 monologs: 5 dialogs

2 monograms: 1 diagram

2 wharves: 1 paradox

100 Senators: Not 1 decision

Gail, Anja & Mullen,

my German Shepherd & Greyhound

Service Dogs

& Flicka the MinPin EmoSD.

DePorres Service Dog Trainers Guild

»§«.,¸¸,.·´¯`·.,¸¸,.»§«

Live simply. Love generously.

Care deeply. Speak kindly.

Leave the rest to God.