Hi....I'm :O)

[Guest guest]

Hi,

My name is , I am married to . I have a daughter Kaitlyn and a

step-son . We all live with my Gram in sburg, West Virginia, it's in

the Eastern Panhandle.

First a little about me.......

I am 32 years old, I am a EMT (Emergency Medical Technician), a Nursing

Aid, and a Mental Health Technician (board certified in all 3). I worked for 13

years as a Mental Health Technician in a Crisis Unit and also at a fire company

in the capacity as an EMT. I became ill about 5 years ago with an auto immune

disease (along with a slue of other illnesses I have been diagnosed with such

as....

Bi Polar 2 (mostly manic)

Anxiety Disorder

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

Irritable Bowel

Adhesions (mainly in the intestines)

Endometriosis (better since total hysterectomy in 2002)

Chronic Sinus and Allergy problems

Migraines

Acid Reflux Disease

Rheumatoid Arthritis (started as Juvinal RA when I was 12)

Fibromyalgia

The Auto Immune Disease effects my soft tissue.. meaning my muscles spasm,

ache constantly, and stay swollen most of the time. I have been trying to find a

pain management program to help my situation but have not yet found one! Due to

my illnesses I have been unable to keep a regular job (which put us in financial

trouble) so in June of 2001 me and my family moved into my Grandmother's home to

care for her.

Gram.. who is 74, is in early late stages of Alzheimer's disease and was

pretty much functional until she fell this past October and broke her hip. Since

then she has been in a wheelchair and full care. She is no longer able to bathe

or care for herself at all. She is able to feed herself on a good day, and her

mind has become more jumbled. Things seem to be going in a cycle right now I

don't know if this pattern is how things are going to be from now on but it's

crazy! One day she's fine then she will have a few days where she's just in the

twilight zone, then she'll be almost non responsive for a couple days. When

she's having a bad day she leans to one side or the other really bad and I can't

get her to even stand up but dang if she doesn't move around enough to either

get her legs, head, arms or anything else stuck in the bed rails or will pick at

everything and end up with all her covers and sheets on the floor or all rolled

up in a ball. It's amazing the strength she has to do things like that but she

can't feed herself or stand up. She was always the caretaker of our family, and

sweet and loving woman but she has become filled with rage, demanding, and very

abusive from this horrible disease! She's dose nothing all day but try to remove

the tray on the geri tray and yell that she needs help, yet if you ask here

where she wants to go or what she wants to do she'll tell you she doesn't know.

The past several weeks she has declined to where I can't get her out of bed so

Hospice has started to come in to help me out with her.

Kaitlyn...my daughter, is 10. She has ADD, anxiety disorder, learning

disabilities, mild depression, and cerebral palsy, she was just recently tested

and found to be physically retarded (her IQ is high and she's very intelligent

but her body's gross motor skills are slow and abnormal for her age). She's been

sick allot with urinary tract infections, and has missed allot of school from

that, multiple doctor's appointments, and her cp.... she is going to a new

school this year and is very excited.. it is a school that will be more

accommodating to her needs. She's an angel, with all the difficulties she has

she is a bright and loving child!

...who is 33, has been my best friend for the past 15 years and husband

for the past 4. He's not perfect but he's a blessing to me and my daughter! He

works at a company that makes book covers.. he etches copper dies that they use

on the presses to make the cover fronts. He's a huge help to me (even though

he's been lazy the past few weeks..LOL!) but most other men would have ran away

rather than endure what he has for the past 4 years!!

... my step-son, he's 7 and suffers from ADHD, ODD, and several anxiety

and depression disorders. he was abused a few years ago by his step father and

the effects are still very fresh in his mind. He is struggling with the school

systems and is not doing well in class (summer school) we have not yet figured

out what is the best way to approach his problems since his mother insists there

are no problems.

My situation here is complicated. I have ALWAYS been the one to take in

strays (be it human or animal) and have always felt I need to care for others to

make myself feel worthy. I realize this is not necessary ...NOW... but I should

have realized it allot sooner so I would not be in such a pickle now!

OK... here is the short version!!!!

Hubby and I were having financial troubles (that were left over from his

divorce and because of my illnesses and inability to work) and had to move out

of our home in Pennsylvania, his parents were co-owners and sold the house and

never made good on their promises till it was too late for us (we were supposed

to have a deal where we gave up all rights to any profits as long as they

refinanced the loan and got hubby's name off the deed until they were able to

sell so our credit would be clear to buy something more affordable or at least

rent)...... well it took them 3 years for them to follow through with that

promise so in the mean time my Gram was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease (in

May of 2001) and her doctor's said she could no longer live by herself.

Well thinking... How hard could it be to care for my Gram... just another

person in the house, right? !!!WRONG!!! Between my illnesses and my daughter's I

wasn't thinking my Gram could be very hard to care for. I never dreamed how much

attention and time it took to care for a person with Alzheimer's.

We moved into Gram's house and we pay utilities, (electric, phone, cable)

groceries, and our personal bills (car insurance...stuff like that) and in

return for me caring for Gram we don't have to pay any rent. Well it sounded

good but believe me I would rather be paying rent somewhere and not having to

deal with Gram.

PLEASE!!!!!!!!!......................... don't get me wrong..... I love

Gram with all my heart but I am so burnt out dealing with everything day in and

day out by myself!

My family swore that if I lived here they would be around to help so much

and relieve me when ever I needed someone......... I finally figured out that

family are the biggest liars around!!!

When Gram fell in October and broke her hip and she was in rehab for 3

months it was the most relaxed 3 months of my life in the past 3 years!! Before

this I had a total of maybe 7 days in the past 3 years where I wasn't taking

care of Gram! It was a long overdue vacation from her!!! But now she is FULL

care.... she can't even wipe her own bottom... and I am completely burnt out and

have made my illnesses worse because of pushing my body to do things I had no

business doing!

So now we are flat broke (I have had a spending problem, and we are trying

to get things paid off from that, and although I am doing very well now it will

be many months till we are caught up and have paid everything off to afford to

even rent a place) and my family knows even though things are even worse for us

here we can't go anywhere, so Gram isn't going any where because it's ALLOT

cheaper to have her here instead of living in a nursing home.

She has too many assets for me to get any help through the state because

the house and some other things are still in Gram's name, so unless my aunt will

pay for help (out of Gram's money.... she's the financial power of attorney and

a huge b*tch from hell) we don't get any help at all until now since Gram is bad

enough for hospice. If they feel she is not declining every 30 days then we will

loose that too... But I am SO GRATEFUL I have the help for now!!!! My pain has

become unbearable and I am in serious need of getting to the doctors to see if

there is anything I can take and not be a zombie as a side effect!

Thank you for allowing me to join your group, I hope after my whining you

don't change your minds!!LOL!!! I am really looking foreword to getting to know

everyone here, the computer is my only like to the outside world these days!!

(¨`·.·´¨)

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[Guest guest]

Welcome to the list . I hope you enjoy it here as much as I do. It's

a great group of people and a tremendous support group. You sure do have

your hands full. I'm sending all my positive thoughts and prayers your way

to have some ease in all your burdens. It sure would be nice to keep the

help for your gram.

I can't even imagine how I could do what you do for your family. It feels

pretty insignificant for me to complain about my situation when I have very

little to take care of. A senior Golden Retriever and 5 ornery cats. We

have no kids and part of me is very grateful for that. I hope that doesn't

sound bad, but I don't think I'm in a position to be able to give a child

all that I would want for them. Plus, being 46 years old has kind've put a

damper on that ever happening now. I've always said that things happen for

a reason, and I truly believe that all our attempts at conceiving a child

failed because it was just not the best thing for us at that moment.

Strange how life works indeed.

Anyway, I'm starting to ramble. Glad that you joined us and looking forward

to getting to know you better.

welcoming hugs,

Norah

> Hi....I'm )

>

>

> Hi,

> My name is , I am married to . I have a daughter

> Kaitlyn and a step-son . We all live with my Gram in

> sburg, West Virginia, it's in the Eastern Panhandle.

[Guest guest]

> Hi, My name is , I am married to . I have a daughter

Kaitlyn and a step-son . We all live with my Gram in

sburg, West Virginia, it's in the Eastern Panhandle.<

Hi and welcome to our large, but friendly group. I hope that

you will be able to feel at home here.

It really sounds like you have a lot on your plate to deal with. I

know it is VERY difficult to work with Alzheimer's patients - and

when one of them is your family member that you care for 24 hours a

day - it makes it even worse. Not to mention that you are in so much

pain ... with everything else it sounds extremely stressful.

I am a. I am 32, an RN (used to work with hospice, and other

places, but haven't worked in almost 2 yrs). I have 4 girls and 1

step daughter ranging from 16 - 9yo. I have multiple things along

with my fibro, but I won't bore you with the details.

I look forward to getting to know you better.

((((HUGS))))

a

[Guest guest]

,

Welcome to the group. I think you will find this group to be very

supportive and caring and will be a big help to you in coping with your

illness. You have more than a plate full and my heart goes out to you. I

can't even imagine how difficult it must be having to do all that you do. I

have been helping my husband who was injured last week and just going to the

hospital for a day and the doctor yesterday totally made me a zombie. I can

t imagine having to provide full care for someone. We are here for you.

Just vent, cry, or whatever you need to do here and we'll be here for you.

gentle hugs,

Sundra

One day at a time