Guest guest Posted June 1, 2006 Report Share Posted June 1, 2006 > > There are reasons why I have found > great value in Ramana's teachings on > practice, developing strength of mind > and elimination of Vassanas. > > > *****There are always reasons. Can I absolutely know that? Or, is it just an uninvestigated thought? > > > Numerous times I have ended in state > that can be called of: > > - no thoughts > > - freedom from [form] identification > > - Pure Awareness > > - Love > > - Bliss > > Yet, as soon as I have gained > [secondary] Awareness of 'being in this > state'; I have started asking myself - > " am I still alive? " , " who is this who > is living? " , " who am I? " , " what is the > meaning of living like this? " . > > > > *****Perhaps not useful questions. Can I truly know that these are " useless " questions? Or, is it just an uninvestigated thought? > For example, " meaning " .....this > is determined by the individuals' background (conditioning) and will > vary from bodymind mechanism to bodymind mechanism. > > *****More to the point, as long as there is an " I " to gain anything, > the game continues. How can I know that with absolute certainty? Or, is this just an uninvestigated thought? > > > If this is really " living " then, what > can " death " be like? > > *****Sleep. No eye, ear, nose, tongue, body, mind. No color, sound, > smell, taste, touch, phenomena. Sleep. Plain and simple. I already feel pretty much that way when I end up in that 'state'. It is as if I lost my body! What does that mean? > > > And, I [or call it ego, mind, duality, > person] have felt kind of > " uncomfortable " ! > > *****Not uncommon when faced with what appears to be oblivion. Yes. That matches with my experience. > > > I [or call it 'ego'] have felt like > 'not existing'... > > I [or call it mind] as if along with > 'identity'; I have also lot all my > memories, relationships, all my > " history " ... > > as I if I am living in a 'oblivion'... > > > as if I have been " wiped out " ... > > > *****As a dream is wiped out by awakening. ;-) Yes... the above feels close to " how I feel " ... the part that I guess I feels frightening is that everything including 'myself', " my " family, " my " wife, " my " word, " my " goals, " my " ambitions, " my " needs, " my " vision, " my " preference, " my " vision... seem to be part of the same disappearing dream! ...and, without this " dream " ... ..... > > > As if I have seen my own " death " and > now, I will rather go back to the > " illusion " ... > > > *****Yes. That is the pull. Yes. That seems true for me. > > > Where there is sense of " doing " , where > there is sense of " being " , where there > is some " stimulus " , where I " feel " ups > and downs " ... > > Where I [or call it mind] can feel > " alive " again... > > Where I can feel " normal " again... > > > It has happened many, many times but, > still I [or mind] still haven't found > it comfortable enough... > > Guess, when 'living' like this, > everything has started appearing like a > 'drama', an 'act' to me and I [or ego] > have longed to get 'normal' again. To > get back to a 'state', a 'mode' where I > feel like 'belonging' to this world, > where I feel like 'living in this > world', where I feel part of this > world, where my desires, my wishes, my > thoughts feel really serious and where > I cry, laugh, feel sad, feel lust, feel > anger, feel disappointment, passion, > zest like any " human " ... > > > *****Too much investment in this births pain though. A balance is > required to navigate the waters of both of its expressions: the > immanence and the transcendence. I don't know. > > > > Almost every time that it has > happened, I [ego] have kind of hit a > 'panic' mode and I have stated doing > everything [internet, sports, movies, > sex...] more in an attempt to 'burry' > it..., to 'forget' it, to 'hide' it > from 'myself'! > > > *****Perhaps you weren't ready for it yet. Maybe... Though, the question is... will " I " ever be ready for it? > > And, I have wondered, will I [mind] > ever get fully comfortable with this > 'mode of being'... > > *****Wait and see. That is the only way to answer such a question. > If it ever happens, you will know. I guess this is where some 'guidance' as in someone 'reciting his own experience' is useful. Maybe, this is where " gurus " and their teachings become useful and relevant. > > > > PS : Irrespective of peace, bliss, love... > I have felt it like my own death > and, question has been what " use " > this kind of peace really is for > " me " ... I don't even feel like > 'living' anymore! > > > ***** " Use " like " meaning " is highly individual and a function of the > programming which is you. There is no Absolute, Universe " meaning " > or " use. " How can I absolutely know that there is no universal meaning or use? Does [any or all of] happiness, love, freedom, recognition of reality, resting in reality appeal to everyone? > > I have asked, to " whom " does this peace has > any significance and have answered - it is not for me. > > > *****The misstep is to think there is a " whom " to which peace > happens. It is in such unskillful thinking that the entire > catastrophe is birthed. Can I truly know that is a 'misstep'? < How do I feel when I think it was a 'misstep'? > What if any will be the 'right step'? Can I absolutely know that... that is the 'right step'? > > > and, that's where, I think the > notion of 'service' or 'devotion' > comes into play! Maybe, these > are nice ways to forget or cover > my own 'non existence' and give > " me " a new 'sense' of 'existing' > and new 'purpose' of being. > > I think this is where the concept > of being a monk, an awakened one > or a sadhu, a saint too comes > into play - taking a new but > 'noble' 'identity'! > > *****One need not take on such titles, roles, or lifestyles to be " of > service " to one's fellow human beings. Just picking up the trash > outside the house, holding the door for someone, not lashing out with > one's tongue in anger, not parking in a Handicap Zone...these too are > ways of being " of service " and very readily available. They aren't > sexy or spiritual in the way that most culture portrays them, but > they are where the rubber meets the road. Yes. I find value in the above idea. > > > > PPS: So why do I post it on LWI forum? > > *****Because you had no choice. It wasn't your decision, anyway. Can I absolutely know that? .... Thanks a lot Andy! I had a wonderful time talking to you! Thanks a lot for this beautiful moment! Greeting and love, ac. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 3, 2006 Report Share Posted June 3, 2006 I just realized that someone called my name? How can I help you, Andy? Love, T >That... It is " I " who creates this questions >And, it is " I " who needs to " create " the answers >Too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 4, 2006 Report Share Posted June 4, 2006 > > > > There are reasons why I have found > > great value in Ramana's teachings on > > practice, developing strength of mind > > and elimination of Vassanas. > > > > > > *****There are always reasons. > > Can I absolutely know that? > > Or, is it just an uninvestigated thought? > > > > > > > > Numerous times I have ended in state > > that can be called of: > > > > - no thoughts > > > > - freedom from [form] identification > > > > - Pure Awareness > > > > - Love > > > > - Bliss > > > > Yet, as soon as I have gained > > [secondary] Awareness of 'being in this > > state'; I have started asking myself - > > " am I still alive? " , " who is this who > > is living? " , " who am I? " , " what is the > > meaning of living like this? " . > > > > > > > > *****Perhaps not useful questions. > > Can I truly know that these are " useless " questions? > > Or, is it just an uninvestigated thought? > > > > For example, " meaning " .....this > > is determined by the individuals' background (conditioning) and > will > > vary from bodymind mechanism to bodymind mechanism. > > > > *****More to the point, as long as there is an " I " to gain > anything, > > the game continues. > > How can I know that with absolute certainty? > > Or, is this just an uninvestigated thought? > > > > > > > > If this is really " living " then, what > > can " death " be like? > > > > *****Sleep. No eye, ear, nose, tongue, body, mind. No color, > sound, > > smell, taste, touch, phenomena. Sleep. Plain and simple. > > I already feel pretty much that way when I end up in > that 'state'. > > It is as if I lost my body! > > What does that mean? > > > > > > > > And, I [or call it ego, mind, duality, > > person] have felt kind of > > " uncomfortable " ! > > > > *****Not uncommon when faced with what appears to be oblivion. > > Yes. That matches with my experience. > > > > > > > I [or call it 'ego'] have felt like > > 'not existing'... > > > > I [or call it mind] as if along with > > 'identity'; I have also lot all my > > memories, relationships, all my > > " history " ... > > > > as I if I am living in a 'oblivion'... > > > > > > as if I have been " wiped out " ... > > > > > > *****As a dream is wiped out by awakening. ;-) > > Yes... > > the above feels close to " how I feel " ... > > the part that I guess I feels frightening is that > everything including 'myself', " my " family, " my " > wife, " my " word, " my " goals, " my " ambitions, > " my " needs, " my " vision, " my " preference, > " my " vision... > > seem to be part of the same disappearing dream! > > ..and, without this " dream " ... > > .... > > > > > > > > As if I have seen my own " death " and > > now, I will rather go back to the > > " illusion " ... > > > > > > *****Yes. That is the pull. > > Yes. That seems true for me. > > > > > > > Where there is sense of " doing " , where > > there is sense of " being " , where there > > is some " stimulus " , where I " feel " ups > > and downs " ... > > > > Where I [or call it mind] can feel > > " alive " again... > > > > Where I can feel " normal " again... > > > > > > It has happened many, many times but, > > still I [or mind] still haven't found > > it comfortable enough... > > > > Guess, when 'living' like this, > > everything has started appearing like a > > 'drama', an 'act' to me and I [or ego] > > have longed to get 'normal' again. To > > get back to a 'state', a 'mode' where I > > feel like 'belonging' to this world, > > where I feel like 'living in this > > world', where I feel part of this > > world, where my desires, my wishes, my > > thoughts feel really serious and where > > I cry, laugh, feel sad, feel lust, feel > > anger, feel disappointment, passion, > > zest like any " human " ... > > > > > > *****Too much investment in this births pain though. A balance is > > required to navigate the waters of both of its expressions: the > > immanence and the transcendence. > > > I don't know. > > > > > > > > > Almost every time that it has > > happened, I [ego] have kind of hit a > > 'panic' mode and I have stated doing > > everything [internet, sports, movies, > > sex...] more in an attempt to 'burry' > > it..., to 'forget' it, to 'hide' it > > from 'myself'! > > > > > > *****Perhaps you weren't ready for it yet. > > Maybe... > > Though, the question is... will " I " ever be ready > for it? > > > > > And, I have wondered, will I [mind] > > ever get fully comfortable with this > > 'mode of being'... > > > > *****Wait and see. That is the only way to answer such a > question. > > If it ever happens, you will know. > > I guess this is where some 'guidance' as > in someone 'reciting his own experience' > is useful. > > Maybe, this is where " gurus " and their teachings > become useful and relevant. > > > > > > > > > PS : Irrespective of peace, bliss, love... > > I have felt it like my own death > > and, question has been what " use " > > this kind of peace really is for > > " me " ... I don't even feel like > > 'living' anymore! > > > > > > ***** " Use " like " meaning " is highly individual and a function of > the > > programming which is you. There is no Absolute, > Universe " meaning " > > or " use. " > > How can I absolutely know that there > is no universal meaning or use? > > Does [any or all of] happiness, love, freedom, > recognition of reality, resting in reality > appeal to everyone? > > > > > > I have asked, to " whom " does this peace has > > any significance and have answered - it is not for me. > > > > > > *****The misstep is to think there is a " whom " to which peace > > happens. It is in such unskillful thinking that the entire > > catastrophe is birthed. > > Can I truly know that is a 'misstep'? > > < How do I feel when I think it was a 'misstep'? > > > What if any will be the 'right step'? > > Can I absolutely know that... that is the 'right step'? > > > > > > > and, that's where, I think the > > notion of 'service' or 'devotion' > > comes into play! Maybe, these > > are nice ways to forget or cover > > my own 'non existence' and give > > " me " a new 'sense' of 'existing' > > and new 'purpose' of being. > > > > I think this is where the concept > > of being a monk, an awakened one > > or a sadhu, a saint too comes > > into play - taking a new but > > 'noble' 'identity'! > > > > *****One need not take on such titles, roles, or lifestyles to > be " of > > service " to one's fellow human beings. Just picking up the trash > > outside the house, holding the door for someone, not lashing out > with > > one's tongue in anger, not parking in a Handicap Zone...these too > are > > ways of being " of service " and very readily available. They > aren't > > sexy or spiritual in the way that most culture portrays them, but > > they are where the rubber meets the road. > > Yes. I find value in the above idea. > > > > > > > > > PPS: So why do I post it on LWI forum? > > > > *****Because you had no choice. It wasn't your decision, anyway. > > Can I absolutely know that? > > > ... > > Thanks a lot Andy! > > I had a wonderful time talking to you! > > Thanks a lot for this beautiful moment! > > Greeting and love, > ac. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.