Re: Independence of Now . . .

[Guest guest]

Dear Dalai

You have a lover that is not me?????

Come on!

You can do better

Unfortunatly for me preparation is a good thing as long as things manifest

for me the way I planned

I can go nuts if I have a plan to meet someone I love

I do all the preparations: shave my pussy, dress up, ext...

(The mod is on vacation, so I allow myself to be myself for a while. It wont

happen again!)

And he stoods me up?

I can lovingly kill him

Is that true? YES!

Hating what is, T

-- Independence of Now . . .

As I prepared to meet my lover . . .

I shaved. I took nice warm bath. I

wore cloths I like. I had the breakfast

of my choice.

Then, I noticed . . . I was immensely

enjoying all this " preparation " . This

putting on my shirt, slipping into my

favorite slipper . . .

And, I smiled and questioned - does my

joy of this moment really depends on my

later [expected] meeting with my lover?

The answer that came was - No. Will the

joy that experience now will really

become less or go away if in reality I

did not meet my lover. The answer that

came was - No.

And, then remembered that in past,

many time I had carried this false

belief that the joy that I " already "

HAD in preparing would " go away " if the

expected results didn't happen. I

remembered the anxiety that such belief

gave me while " preparing " . I remembered

the disappointment and resentment that

such belief helped create when the

expected result didn't happen.

And, I remembered how I had previously

thought in the events of not meeting my

lover that my " preparing " was " wasted "

and that I was a fool to prepare. When

in reality, I had immensely enjoyed

those moments of preparation. I

remembered how forgetful, ignorant and

even ungrateful I had acted in these

situation holding onto the lie that my

preparation was wasted when in reality,

I had immensely enjoyed every bit of

that " preparation " . When in reality,

the joy that I already had in those

moment were not really dependent on

what happened " later " neither did it

diminish when results were different.

Thinking this, I thanked my lover for

being so that I can engage in this

delightful preparation. Later, even if

she was not there, I already had so

much joy preparing . . . " meeting " was

just an icing on the cake.

Later that evening, I bought a lottery

ticket and started imagining what I

will do if I won this lottery. And, I

noticed how much joy I felt in

imagining this. And, I noticed how

independent this 'joy of imagining' now

was irrespective of the results that

will be announced few days later . . .

[Guest guest]

>

> Dear Dalai

Hello Darling:

>

> You have a lover that is not me?????

Can I live without 'air' ??

I " breathe " whatever is 'available'

around me.

> Come on!

> You can do better

Yo mean... I can " have you " ??

>

> Unfortunatly for me preparation is a good thing as long as things

manifest

> for me the way I planned

Well things 'manifest' [or not] later

and not while 'preparing'. Isn't

that true? Don't you enjoy " soaking "

yourself in a warm bubble bath,

stroking yourself with a soft towel,

applying soft perfume, light lipstick,

soft talcum, listening to soft music

- even if the " excuse " is meeting

your lover ??

>

> I can go nuts if I have a plan to meet someone I love

> I do all the preparations: shave my pussy,

Yes...

Especially if you cut or hurt your *ussy in the

process. Poor *ussy what it has to 'go thru'

because of you!

> dress up, ext...

> (The mod is on vacation, so I allow myself to be myself for a

while. It wont

> happen again!)

> And he stoods me up?

> I can lovingly kill him

I guess 'lovingly killing' is nice.

I guess it is what a " lover " looks

forward to...

But, if it is not nice then, In my

experience, many times we get angry

in this situations - because, we think

" I " should " get angry in these situations "

, we think I am 'expected' to get angry

in these situations, we think it is the 'social rule'

to get angry in these situations. I learnt it by watching

early teen-age girls and by listening to their

conversation [ not that I was eves dropping

though].

>

> Is that true? YES!

>

> Hating what is, T

>

[Guest guest]

>

> > Hello Darling:

>

> Hi Dali

>

> > > You have a lover that is not me?????

>

> > Can I live without 'air' ??

>

> I don't know, never been in that situation

> (I mean... Without air)

Good.

>

>

> > I " breathe " whatever is 'available'

> > around me.

>

> You are a serial breather?

Quite so...

and, without my " choosing " to be

this way.

> I know that it is not by business, but your wife is around you

> And she seem to be available and you prefer breathing someone

else???

My lover is my wife.

i.e. my wife is my lover.

And, also, sometimes she is not my lover

>

>

> > > Come on!

> > > You can do better

> >

> > Yo mean... I can " have you " ??

>

> Sure, close your eyes

> Think of me

> And you have me

Ok.

I thought that was called " dreaming "

>

> Now if you excuse me, I need to go

Ok.

Go...

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