Providence

[Guest guest]

I feel like I've been having so many providential signs in my life

protecting me lately that its really unbelievable. First when I toyed

with the idea of surprise visiting auntie's house where nada and

grandfada would be over this Thanksgiving and then posted an

awesome post that just spoke volumes to my soul to say that's a very

bad idea. Then when nada sent a package to my son last week for his b-

day, it sat on the counter for an hour making me anxious and mad and

it just hit me that 'no, I didn't have to deal with it'and I threw it

back on the porch for dh to deal with and he threw it in the trash-

huge step for me w/emotional boundaries. She can't control me

returning her phone calls, but equally when she's forcing herself

into my life w/packages, I have the freedom not to deal with that

either- never occurred to me. And then when for some stupid reason I

bought into my auntie's words of 'she's just being a grandmother'

when I told her nada of course sent my son a b-day gift, I toyed

w/the notion of sending her pix of son's 3rd b-day party. As I

downloaded them, I was looking for a piece of paper to write on in my

desk drawer and came upon a note I wrote back when my oldest son was

only 5 months old and nada visited me. It was a scathing letter I

didn't send, but so many bs things she did on that last and final

trip to ever stay with us I'd forgotten about. I so needed to read

that to remember 'no, she's not a good grandmother' and not to send

her pix or anything else. I really get the feeling that all these

people who've died in my life this year, 6 total so far, are

somewhere out there really protecting me from myself and nada.

Anyone else ever gets these providential moments where you just feel

the universe protecting you from further damage?

Kerrie