Guest guest Posted November 7, 2001 Report Share Posted November 7, 2001 > Jacqyue < > just wanted to say hi < > AGHHHHHHHHHHH! I am a terrible typer. especially on this bitty key board.LOL Jacquie H < actually it wasn't you. it was that other jacquie " Isn't it wonderful how each of us on this earth was created just a little bit different? " - Linus " I gave up trying to understand people long ago. Now I just let them try to understand me. " - Snoopy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 7, 2001 Report Share Posted November 7, 2001 In a message dated 11/7/2001 5:30:53 PM Eastern Standard Time, vhunnius@... writes: > Like you, the day he laid a hand on me would be the day I walked out and > never looked back. > > Jacquie > > > Again...not to make light...but a dude that big lays a hand on anyone...I don't believe they'd be able to walk anywhere Ron Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 7, 2001 Report Share Posted November 7, 2001 I agree. Jeff is like Marc too. He tries but isnt very good at it and while he has a temper he has never once come even close to violence with me or the kids Jacquie H > > > I was a good AS wife too. But he never understood that there were certain > > lines you could not cross. Obviously he is just a more hopeless case than > > Marc. > > > I agree with pretty much every word in that post, Salli! > > As to the question - where do you quit understanding...I believe as you do, that once violence and blame enters the picture, your only duty is to yourself and your children. The line has been crossed. > > Quirky, strange, and needing special care and acceptance is one thing. Angry, abusive, and blaming turns it into something else entirely. > > Unlike Lou, Marc DOES realize his problems. He KNOWS he's not exactly in tune with things, and will listen to suggestions on how to better deal with me and with . He's not always successful at carrying them out, but does try. He recognizes that he needs to try, for the sake of his family, although he feels no intrinsic need to do so for himself. > > Like you, the day he laid a hand on me would be the day I walked out and never looked back. > > Jacquie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 7, 2001 Report Share Posted November 7, 2001 GOOD! LOL but I must admit I have had to fix my name tons of times before sending.LOL Jacquie H > > Jacqyue < > > > just wanted to say hi < > > > AGHHHHHHHHHHH! I am a terrible typer. especially on this bitty key board.LOL > Jacquie H < > > > > actually it wasn't you. it was that other jacquie > > > > > " Isn't it wonderful how each of us on this earth was created just a little bit different? " - Linus > > " I gave up trying to understand people long ago. Now I just let them try to understand me. " - Snoopy > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 7, 2001 Report Share Posted November 7, 2001 > > different rules, but out in the real world where your boss doesn't give a > > hoot about anything except how you perform your job. > > Personally, I think that this will work FOR them, assuming they find jobs suited to their skills. IMHO, I think they will be extrememly proficient at jobs that suit them, without indulging in all the sidetracks, wandering attention, and gossiping we NTs can be prone to... Good point, Jacquie, in fact, the problem will be that the boss will care more about the OTHER stuff, like that fact that they irritate everyone else in the office. But I could see Enrique having job attendance issues too and that definitely affects performance. > We ARE out there. Unfortunately, I don't think there's a way to identify us from the outside. Sign on the forehead perhaps saying, " I do well with ASD people " ? I have already had offers for Sophie's hand in marriage from mothers of AS kids, figuring that she would understand them. Of course, Sophie is no fool and wants no husband with autism. She is quite firm on that issue. What drew me to Marc and kept drawing me back was how much he DIDN'T want to crawl into my skin and get into my head and " own " me -- I was attracted to the fact that he was perfectly content for me to be my own person, he had no ideas of what a girl should or should not be. What I was, was what I was. They need girls who don't want a symbiotic relationship. Boys who wanted to be my whole life, gave me flowers and crap, pledged undying love...they felt like a NOOSE. Marc and I, on the other hand, developed an adult version of 'parallel play' which has served us well! I rather like parallel play too! But I can play with people as well. Salli Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 7, 2001 Report Share Posted November 7, 2001 > Misunderstandings are frequent when all > communication is in the form of print. Aww, Barb, if Jacquie is gonna be mad at anyone she'll be mad at me (and I don't think she is) cuz I knew Marc was her husband. No one on THIS list is going to get mad at you for an honest and Autistic Kid Thoughtful type of answer. If it had been anyone but her husband we'd all have been answering the same. Newbies get all kinds of extra slack around here; no one can keep track of everyone as soon as they join this big noisy list! Don't worry about it, honey. Salli who wants to remind Barb that there will be a quiz on PA family members for her alone starting this evening at 11 p.m., while the rest of us are chatting. So she'd better go to the website and STUDY! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 7, 2001 Report Share Posted November 7, 2001 we're chatting??? uh oh, I better go see if my chat works NOW before it's too late. Kerri Mom to: Mitchel 6, Autistic 8.5 - NT See the Family: http://www.johnswdwpage.com/family.htm " I thank God and America for the right to live and raise my family under the flag of tolerance, democracy and freedom. " -Walt Disney Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 7, 2001 Report Share Posted November 7, 2001 > Salli who wants to remind Barb that there will be a quiz on PA family members for her alone starting this evening at 11 p.m., while the rest of us are chatting. So she'd better go to the website and STUDY! Huh? <confused look around> What happens if I don't pass? What happens if I do? Since I live in LA, is that 11:00 time yours or mine? Am I not allowed to chat until I pass? Does it involve knowing everyone's names of their children? Do I get a cookie for every right answer? Can I request chocolate chip? When do I know the results? For these and other rediculous questions, just wait. Barb-who is breathing a sigh of relief . . . until this test! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 7, 2001 Report Share Posted November 7, 2001 Hey... we're asking the questions!! LOL! Kerri Re: terminology friction LONG > Salli who wants to remind Barb that there will be a quiz on PA family members for her alone starting this evening at 11 p.m., while the rest of us are chatting. So she'd better go to the website and STUDY! Huh? <confused look around> What happens if I don't pass? What happens if I do? Since I live in LA, is that 11:00 time yours or mine? Am I not allowed to chat until I pass? Does it involve knowing everyone's names of their children? Do I get a cookie for every right answer? Can I request chocolate chip? When do I know the results? For these and other rediculous questions, just wait. Barb-who is breathing a sigh of relief . . . until this test! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 7, 2001 Report Share Posted November 7, 2001 Well at least Barb didn't require any services which required billing. She'd really fall off her chair then. Kerri Re: Re: terminology friction LONG > Huh? <confused look around> > > What happens if I don't pass? Big secret. > What happens if I do? Even bigger secret > > Since I live in LA, is that 11:00 time yours or mine? You'll have to guess. > Am I not allowed to chat until I pass? Sure, why not? > > Does it involve knowing everyone's names of their children? No, I don't even know the names of my own children. > > Do I get a cookie for every right answer? Fearless Leader will mail them to you. Those chocolate mint ones... > > Can I request chocolate chip? Oh. Well, ask FL. She's the cookie lady. > > When do I know the results? Immediately! > > For these and other rediculous questions, just wait. > Barb-who is breathing a sigh of relief . . . until this test! See ya later! Salli Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 7, 2001 Report Share Posted November 7, 2001 > Huh? <confused look around> > > What happens if I don't pass? Big secret. > What happens if I do? Even bigger secret > > Since I live in LA, is that 11:00 time yours or mine? You'll have to guess. > Am I not allowed to chat until I pass? Sure, why not? > > Does it involve knowing everyone's names of their children? No, I don't even know the names of my own children. > > Do I get a cookie for every right answer? Fearless Leader will mail them to you. Those chocolate mint ones... > > Can I request chocolate chip? Oh. Well, ask FL. She's the cookie lady. > > When do I know the results? Immediately! > > For these and other rediculous questions, just wait. > Barb-who is breathing a sigh of relief . . . until this test! See ya later! Salli Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 7, 2001 Report Share Posted November 7, 2001 Just my small contribution. Gotta stay in budget. Kerri Re: Re: terminology friction LONG > Well at least Barb didn't require any services which required billing. She'd really fall off her chair then. OH? Does she need a dx? Of course, PA is now free, thanks to you, Kerri. Salli Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 7, 2001 Report Share Posted November 7, 2001 > Well at least Barb didn't require any services which required billing. She'd really fall off her chair then. OH? Does she need a dx? Of course, PA is now free, thanks to you, Kerri. Salli Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 7, 2001 Report Share Posted November 7, 2001 What if he's pacing and grabbing his groin? Kerri Re: Re: terminology friction LONG \So, unless anyone's kids are looking like Jacskson theses days...dancing backwards while grabbing their groins...I wouldn't sweat it. Just my 2 cents Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 7, 2001 Report Share Posted November 7, 2001 In a message dated 11/8/2001 12:30:43 AM Eastern Standard Time, klwally@... writes: > > What if he's pacing and grabbing his groin? > Kerri > Pacing doesn't count Is he wearing one glove and have a pet monkey that he sleeps with too? Does he wear a mask in public? Oh, does he get regular plastic surgery to look more like Ross? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 7, 2001 Report Share Posted November 7, 2001 I was gonna ask the same thing. Jacquie H > What if he's pacing and grabbing his groin? > Kerri > Re: Re: terminology friction LONG > > > \So, unless anyone's kids are looking like Jacskson theses > days...dancing backwards while grabbing their groins...I wouldn't sweat it. > > Just my 2 cents > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 7, 2001 Report Share Posted November 7, 2001 > > Jacquie, would Marc say this in public also? Would he ever refer to as > > " freak " amongst close friends, > > Yup, he would. OUCH. SHEESH. GEEEZZ LOUISEEEEE. > To him, it is less derogatory than factual. Which is a pretty good reason that you will keep him alive instead of feeding him to the pigs when he uses it again in the future? I know Marc is not a freak, and I know isn't. But if Marc thinks he is, and also thinks is - - - then it can't be TOO bad of a thing. Or can it? Grace Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 7, 2001 Report Share Posted November 7, 2001 Jacquie, there was no way for Barb to know that Marc was the name of your husband. Had I been new to the list, I would not have known. For a long while, in the beginning, I was confused between the names of husbands and children. I thought Thea was married to an , Salli's husband was Enrique, and so forth. There was one post that made me wonder if you were Penny's daughter? Go figure! And given the context of this particular post, it was an easy mistake to make.... Grace Re: terminology friction LONG > > > Sorry, you just made him sound so distant > > and uncaring. I didn't mean to injure. > > Barb-ducking while tomatoes being thrown > > No, I didn't make him sound that way -- he just does sound that way. That's why I put the disclaimers up top on that post about how much he loves and how he is certainly undiagnosed ASD - to mitigate how awful he can sound. > > The reason I KNOW he's not as he sounds is that he and I have done a lot of research on adult Asperger's --and even HE knows that sounds like himself. We don't have the money to have him diagnosed, but we both know that explains a lot about himself and his life. > > Some evidence: > -his utter lack of understanding concerning verbal communication - tones of voice, choice of wrods, etc > > -his lack of receptive communication - does not recognize tones of voice, not able to tell he has hurt or offended or if a game has gone too far unless he is specifically told, ie: " Marc, I feel angry. This is why. " > > -eye contact? > > -perseveration on topics entirely stupifyingly boring to everyone around him, like the intricacies of the machine he fixed at work today, how it works, what parts it has, what he did to it...(we're talking 45 minute discussions) > > -explain a rule to him. that is the rule FOREVER. there is no interpreting it, no adaptation - it is the RULE. a handy example: when a child, the rule was you don't wear wet clothes. so at the beach, he'd go in the water once, and then take off his bathing suit - because it was wet. period. > > -when entering high school, the board wanted him placed in remedial classes. his mother fought it. he went into general, then advanced, then honours...he's startlingly intelligent, but socially inept, even socially impaired. > > -although he is funny and friendly, and people gravitate to him, he does not make friends. His two best and only friends are people he sees about once a month, who don't go out of their way to contact him but rather just leave him alone most of the time. I don't get it, but he's very happy with this arrangement. he can't fathom my need for people. The only reason we're together is because I just kept pursuing him. When we were broken up for a year, he didn't date one other person. > > -he is incredibly good-looking. stunning. women hit on him all the time. He doesn't notice; he doesn't even realize it happens. He doesn't question anyone's motive for anything, ever. > > -he fiercely loves the people he's bonded to, and completely apathetic about anyone else. > > -he can do mathematic equations in his head that make my cry in frustration, yet cannot remember someone's telephone number or where the potato chips are in the kitchen. > > -he can tell you any geographical trivia about any country in the world - but rarely desires to leave the house. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 8, 2001 Report Share Posted November 8, 2001 In a message dated 11/8/2001 9:58:25 AM Eastern Standard Time, jacquie_harris@... writes: > Ok, lets see.....he wears a glove(white too look like ) and he > has a toy monkey he sleeps with but really prefers his cat or > Wicket,He does wear a mask in public(tryuing to stop this one but he > likes to pretend he is PJ Sam), no plastic surgery here as of ye so > we are ok right? LOL > Jacquie H > > > > Yep... Let's just keep it simple...unless you are the mom or dad of " Freak " ..everything is cool....Jeesh Ron Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 8, 2001 Report Share Posted November 8, 2001 In a message dated 11/8/2001 10:46:19 AM Eastern Standard Time, vhunnius@... writes: > He is still adjusting to regular life, and not very well. But he's trying. > He compares getting off the boats and entering normal society to when the > vietnam vets were in the jungle one hour, and home on the streets of big > cities 12 hours later -- no time to acclimate to the new life they had > forgotten how to function in. > > Jacquie > > > I know that one....couldn't wait to get back on the beach...couldn't wait to get back out in the ocean...and the lumpier the sea the better for me.. Ron Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 8, 2001 Report Share Posted November 8, 2001 Ok, lets see.....he wears a glove(white too look like ) and he has a toy monkey he sleeps with but really prefers his cat or Wicket,He does wear a mask in public(tryuing to stop this one but he likes to pretend he is PJ Sam), no plastic surgery here as of ye so we are ok right? LOL Jacquie H > In a message dated 11/8/2001 12:30:43 AM Eastern Standard Time, > klwally@c... writes: > > > > > > What if he's pacing and grabbing his groin? > > Kerri > > > Pacing doesn't count > Is he wearing one glove and have a pet monkey that he sleeps with too? Does > he wear a mask in public? Oh, does he get regular plastic surgery to look > more like Ross? > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 8, 2001 Report Share Posted November 8, 2001 parenting_autism moderator mom to , 4.5 yrs Check out my new love: Neopets! Visit www.neopets.com to tour - and go to : http://www.neopets.com/refer.phtml?username=jacquiemvh to join! <that way I get FREE neopoints! :-)> http://pages.ivillage.com/mom2eric96/FLsFamilyPhotos/index.html Re: terminology friction LONG > > Misunderstandings are frequent when all > > communication is in the form of print. > > > Aww, Barb, if Jacquie is gonna be mad at anyone she'll be mad at me (and I > don't think she is) cuz I knew Marc was her husband. No one on THIS list is > going to get mad at you for an honest and Autistic Kid Thoughtful type of > answer. If it had been anyone but her husband we'd all have been answering > the same. What she said! Yup, my big long post WAS inspired by Salli, Barb, not you. My brief response to you was, in fact, clarification because it seemed that you'd missed my disclaimers at the top (on digest, this is easy to do). That was all. But SALLI....how DARE she question me!!! LOL. No, Barb, don't worry -- from this end, at no time during the discussion of this thread has it been an argument to me, nor have I been offended. What you read as outrage in the original post was actually exasperation. And you're right - very easy to confuse, when in print! I am very hard to offend. Basically, you'd have to come over to my house and spit in my face to offend me. And even then, I'd just ask if something was bothering you, and state my case. (((hugs))) Jacquie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 8, 2001 Report Share Posted November 8, 2001 > in the office. But I could see Enrique having job attendance issues too and > that definitely affects performance. Yeah. We have yet to see if issues like that are going to come up around here. is still so much in the unformed-clay phase of life... > Sign on the forehead perhaps saying, " I do well with ASD people " ? Ah, but I didn't know! > I rather like parallel play too! But I can play with people as well. <sigh> Sometimes I miss that, it's true. I have recently gotten back in contact with the guy who I would have married had I not been so committed to Marc. I dated him during the year that Marc and I broken up, and he is the exact opposite of my husband in about every way imaginable. HE would have made me the centre of his life, and doted on me... of course at the time I felt such attention stifling, and when Marc reappeared I chose him. About one year ago, Nesbitt found me, and we've struck up a loose friendship (we were friends for years before dating), but I consciously keep my distance, especially on lonely days -- the last thing I need is to be reminded of all that COULD HAVE BEEN. I mean, he has such a connection to me that on really bad days I find a message from him on the answer machine saying, " I just got a feeling I should call. Are you OK? " I never return those messages. After all, to let my husband know I had a bad day, I need to throw a shoe at him as he comes through the door... Some places, you just don't go. There. How's that for too much information? Jacquie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 8, 2001 Report Share Posted November 8, 2001 > Jacquie...I applaud your loyalty...This world needs more loyalty between > spouses IMHO.... Well, thanks. I have discovered, with surprise, that among the couples I know in real life, we are unique in this aspect. That's not how it's supposed to be! > > With this said...and I'm not making light here...how did he survive on a ship? He LOVED it. His job was right there where he lived. Very few people to interact with. A demanding job. A cabin door with a lock on it. He was VERY well suited to his job. He's very quiet, and when he does talk to people he's not close to, he reveals a biting wit. That, along with his formidible size, makes many people gravitate to him...and those who DON'T like him just leave him alone. He is still adjusting to regular life, and not very well. But he's trying. He compares getting off the boats and entering normal society to when the vietnam vets were in the jungle one hour, and home on the streets of big cities 12 hours later -- no time to acclimate to the new life they had forgotten how to function in. Jacquie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 8, 2001 Report Share Posted November 8, 2001 > Again...not to make light...but a dude that big lays a hand on anyone...I > don't believe they'd be able to walk anywhere Well, this true! He's only hit one person in his life, and that was the bully who taunted him in second grade. Finally, Marc reacted -- and sent the kid to the hospital. He's never laid a hand in anger on another person again in his life, and swears he never will - he KNOWS he can hurt people very badly, without even trying. Jacquie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.