Incoming Foo!!

[Guest guest]

Well I'm packing my bags quickly and headed...well...ANYWHERE for the

weekend but here, and it hasn't been an easy decision. It's funny, the

more I learn about BPD and the more I read from all of you here, the more

lightbulb moments I have. I've even noticed things that I have never

noticed before. All of my life I have always been at the end of the

pecking order " with my nada. My cousin, who is the oldest of my generation

has always been the golden child, my brother who is 10 years my junior is

second next in line after that it's nada's cat, then her deceased cat and

then me. I always thought it was because I was a girl. My

great-grandmother favored boys, my grandmother favored boys, and my nada has

always favored boys. (Despite the fact that they continuously bring up the

fact that they don't....which is kind of amusing.) Because it has been that

way all of my life it has just been something that I have always accepted.

How sad is it that a child grows up with the knowledge that no matter what

happens, no matter what the circumstance another child will always be the

favorite? Almost like your existence is something that everyone must

tolerate, but it is a small price to pay to have the favorite child even

within the same breathing space. I know now that this is just a split

black/white thing. I know now that it is just part of their " illness " . But

I don't ever think that it will ever be easier to deal with. I don't think

one ever fully embraces the fact they will NEVER be loved unconditionally

the most children are. The one thing that really boggles my mind is that

everyone in my family favors boys....yet my parents adopted me, so they

CHOSE to pick a girl. My husband actually said tonight " I don't mean this

in a nasty way, but of all the children out there why did they pick you? Why

didn't they adopt a boy? It makes no sense! " You would think I would be

upset at that comment....but in reality it brought me great relief...all he

did was say what I have been THINKING all my life. Nada actually said at

one time " it's all about APPEARANCE " ....it was kind of funny, because after

she said it, she had this look on her face like...ooops...did I just say

that out loud? My head snapped up, and I looked at my husband as we had

this epiphany that that phrase alone pretty much answered every question we

ever had. Indeed....with her it IS all about appearance.

So what does this have to do with " incoming foo " ? My cousin, who has had

more brushes with the law than one can shake a stick at is on his way in. A

" surprise " visit that he notified us of about 2 hours ago. This has nada in

a complete tail-spin. She is way worse than usual (if that is even

POSSIBLE) insisting that everything is completely perfect for his arrival

with his wife and little girl tomorrow night. (My god-daughter) She left a

completely MANIC message on my answering machine, panicking over a beach

towel that is draped over my fence. Since my daughter stayed home today with

a 104 degree fever, I told her as soon as I checked her temperature again

and give her another dose of medicine I would be out to remove it. Well she

completely FREAKED out, and before I even made my way up the steps, there

she stood on my back porch holding the beach towel. (Seriously...how DO they

move that quickly? It's a bit unsettling) She had this peeved looked on her

face. Mad because I apparently trivialized her request, mad because my

flower garden " doesn't look as pretty as it did the last time he was in. " (I

guess she missed the fact that it is going to pour down raining for the next

3 days) Mostly mad because I didn't move with the sense of urgency this kind

of news required. I mean....how dare I prioritize a child who is prone to

seizures with a high fever like she had over a couple weeds in the garden!

Get this....so my brother...bless his heart...sees her on my porch and runs

over to rescue me (despite the fact that he was totally inebriated). He

strolls up and says " what's up " ? I just kind of smirked and said " didn't

you hear? Christ is coming tomorrow " She actually said.... " no....he is

BETTER than Christ!! " Then stormed off as she announced to my cat that she

was sure they he (my cat) would prefer a cleaner house. (She always does

that...talks to my cat ABOUT me....while I am standing there...it's

completely ludicrous!) So that is what has brought me to the decision that

I just have leave for the weekend while he (my cousin) is in town. It just

makes me so mad, because I miss my god-daughter so much it hurts. Going to

his house just isn't an option. I hate that she is robbing me of this

precious, precious time with her.(my god-daughter) The thing is, my cousin

probably qualifies the MOST as being FOO. He is under her complete control

and manipulation and just thinks she is the bee's knees. She literally coos

when just mentioning his name, like some star struck teenager. Honestly,

she totally THRIVES in these conditions....I guess I should count my lucky

stars that I see it now and can avoid it. I just wanted to share....in case

anyone else is going through the same type of thing. (Speak of the devil,

she just arrived at my door!)

Kisses and Nibbles,

Bunny

[Guest guest]

(((((Bunny))))) I am glad you are getting away for the weekend. Did

you mention to your mom your gardens would have looked better had

she not cut all your rose bushes off? I suppose even if you say it

she wouldn't acknowledge that she did it. I hope your child starts

to feel better and I hope you have a nice time away. It should be

good for your whole family to escape the chaos anyways before the

kids start school. Any luck with selling the house yet? Consider

this weekend a taste of how things could be; maybe it is just what

you need. I am really sorry that you can't see your God child. I can

really empathize there; I have been unable to see mine for over 4

years as a result of my mom. So I know how you feel it sucks. Good

luck with everything. Love and a big hug for your hard times, Lizzy

>

> Well I'm packing my bags quickly and headed...well...ANYWHERE for

the

> weekend but here, and it hasn't been an easy decision. It's

funny, the

> more I learn about BPD and the more I read from all of you here,

the more

> lightbulb moments I have. I've even noticed things that I have

never

> noticed before. All of my life I have always been at the end of

the

> pecking order " with my nada. My cousin, who is the oldest of my

generation

> has always been the golden child, my brother who is 10 years my

junior is

> second next in line after that it's nada's cat, then her deceased

cat and

> then me. I always thought it was because I was a girl. My

> great-grandmother favored boys, my grandmother favored boys, and

my nada has

> always favored boys. (Despite the fact that they continuously

bring up the

> fact that they don't....which is kind of amusing.) Because it has

been that

> way all of my life it has just been something that I have always

accepted.

> How sad is it that a child grows up with the knowledge that no

matter what

> happens, no matter what the circumstance another child will always

be the

> favorite? Almost like your existence is something that everyone

must

> tolerate, but it is a small price to pay to have the favorite

child even

> within the same breathing space. I know now that this is just a

split

> black/white thing. I know now that it is just part of

their " illness " . But

> I don't ever think that it will ever be easier to deal with. I

don't think

> one ever fully embraces the fact they will NEVER be loved

unconditionally

> the most children are. The one thing that really boggles my mind

is that

> everyone in my family favors boys....yet my parents adopted me, so

they

> CHOSE to pick a girl. My husband actually said tonight " I don't

mean this

> in a nasty way, but of all the children out there why did they

pick you? Why

> didn't they adopt a boy? It makes no sense! " You would think I

would be

> upset at that comment....but in reality it brought me great

relief...all he

> did was say what I have been THINKING all my life. Nada actually

said at

> one time " it's all about APPEARANCE " ....it was kind of funny,

because after

> she said it, she had this look on her face like...ooops...did I

just say

> that out loud? My head snapped up, and I looked at my husband as

we had

> this epiphany that that phrase alone pretty much answered every

question we

> ever had. Indeed....with her it IS all about appearance.

>

> So what does this have to do with " incoming foo " ? My cousin, who

has had

> more brushes with the law than one can shake a stick at is on his

way in. A

> " surprise " visit that he notified us of about 2 hours ago. This

has nada in

> a complete tail-spin. She is way worse than usual (if that is even

> POSSIBLE) insisting that everything is completely perfect for his

arrival

> with his wife and little girl tomorrow night. (My god-daughter)

She left a

> completely MANIC message on my answering machine, panicking over a

beach

> towel that is draped over my fence. Since my daughter stayed home

today with

> a 104 degree fever, I told her as soon as I checked her

temperature again

> and give her another dose of medicine I would be out to remove

it. Well she

> completely FREAKED out, and before I even made my way up the

steps, there

> she stood on my back porch holding the beach towel.

(Seriously...how DO they

> move that quickly? It's a bit unsettling) She had this peeved

looked on her

> face. Mad because I apparently trivialized her request, mad

because my

> flower garden " doesn't look as pretty as it did the last time he

was in. " (I

> guess she missed the fact that it is going to pour down raining

for the next

> 3 days) Mostly mad because I didn't move with the sense of urgency

this kind

> of news required. I mean....how dare I prioritize a child who is

prone to

> seizures with a high fever like she had over a couple weeds in the

garden!

> Get this....so my brother...bless his heart...sees her on my porch

and runs

> over to rescue me (despite the fact that he was totally

inebriated). He

> strolls up and says " what's up " ? I just kind of smirked and

said " didn't

> you hear? Christ is coming tomorrow " She actually

said.... " no....he is

> BETTER than Christ!! " Then stormed off as she announced to my cat

that she

> was sure they he (my cat) would prefer a cleaner house. (She

always does

> that...talks to my cat ABOUT me....while I am standing there...it's

> completely ludicrous!) So that is what has brought me to the

decision that

> I just have leave for the weekend while he (my cousin) is in

town. It just

> makes me so mad, because I miss my god-daughter so much it hurts.

Going to

> his house just isn't an option. I hate that she is robbing me of

this

> precious, precious time with her.(my god-daughter) The thing is,

my cousin

> probably qualifies the MOST as being FOO. He is under her

complete control

> and manipulation and just thinks she is the bee's knees. She

literally coos

> when just mentioning his name, like some star struck teenager.

Honestly,

> she totally THRIVES in these conditions....I guess I should count

my lucky

> stars that I see it now and can avoid it. I just wanted to

share....in case

> anyone else is going through the same type of thing. (Speak of the

devil,

> she just arrived at my door!)

>

> Kisses and Nibbles,

> Bunny

>

>

>

>