my nada has replaced me

[Guest guest]

Have any of you been replaced? It is kind of surreal. My nada seems

to have realized that I really never will become the daughter she

would like, she has found a replacement. I've been picking up on the

" comparing " vibes for a while--like when I was younger and my nada

would say, " ______ is so feminine and cute! Why can't you be like that? "

Nada has " adopted " my younger brother's kind-of girlfriend (won't even

go into their relationship). By adopted, I mean that the girlfriend

now lives with my parents most of the week and relys on them for

transportation. She has been telling me how she really likes this

girlfriend because: 1. she didn't " hold a grudge " at my nada when she

went to the dark side and humilated her in public, 2. she is

traumatized and helpless at the threat of abuse, 3. she seems to enjoy

sharing deeply personal info w/my nada, 4. she is thin, blond and has

huge breasts(clearly an important character trait) 5. she allows my

brother to treat her like a doormat, 6. she wears really revealing

clothes, much of which my nada buys for her or makes for her, 7 she

doesn't like my brother that's split black.

YUCK!!!!!!!I think that this has sealed for me the importance of not

seeking approval and acceptance from my nada. Being to nada's liking

would be absolutely self-destructive. I'm almost finding this amusing

in a twisted way, and I think that shows progress. It's funny how the

things nada seems to most appreciate in baby-brother's girlfriend are

the things I've consciously decided not to do in my life--some of them

are even things I've gone to therapy NOT to do--Except for the not

having huge breasts, that one just came naturally;)

Trish