Re: College loans

[Guest guest]

Charlie,

I too took out student loans and have no regrets about it. I hate

that we've always had so much debt over our heads since we've been

married. I had about 40K in student loans and he has about the same.

We've been working the Dave Ramsey Debt snowball plan since last

September and have paid off all our debts except the twin evil

sisters- Sallie and Fannie Mae- student loans and second mortgage. We

will have my student loan paid off by my b-day at the end of April

and hopefully his by his b-day in July. We've been going hardcore. I

don't regret taking a loan out and unlike you, Charlie, I hold my

student loans over their heads. " Sorry, I can't come home this year.

I have 25K of student loans to pay for. " They would prefer we charge

our trips home, but we haven't used credit cards since last September

and they all think we're crazy. I think that's a very good thing for

crazy people to consider me nuts. I have no qualms about that

whatsoever.

Student loans do suck, but you can pay them off. You can never have

your education taken away from you though once you get it. I saw that

as my one way out. I was right. I had to wait a long time- waiting 6

years when you're 19-25 in order to apply for student loans to move

away is a VERY long time around the FOO (I only lived w/them for two

of those years- moved back when my brother tried to kill himself and

went away to a hospital for a year. didn't trust them to make sure

he'd stay alive so I BEGGED to move back home- how ironic, huh? I

left when I was 25 and sure he'd not try to kill himself again and

have never moved back to that town and never will.) But I'm very glad

I stayed the course and went to college. The things I learned from

the time I was 25-29 (still took a while as I was working to pay for

my room and board- went to school parttime- could've organized it

better but I wasn't very organized back then after so much exposure

to the FOO and being raised in a choas is normal atmosphere) are so

vital to the person I am today- the lessons I learned that I am free

and can live off of hardly nothing w/o help from the FOO. I've been

moving more and more away since then and have no regrets about that.

Now I'm just to the point where I'm cleaning up my credit (well

actually my stupid FICO score is awesome but I'm moving on to the

piont where I just simply don't have a FICO score. I don't ever want

to borrow money again= ever- from anyone and dh feels the same) and

the FOO doesn't remotely understand that logic. Some are seeing the

benefit of it after we've worked it for a while, but they don't fully

understand the mentality and that's okay. I value my kids college

funding a million times over visiting my 86 year old NPD grandfada

whose going to die sometime in the next few years (have been hearing

that one since I was 6 and at this point I'm just over him dieing.

Grandma did finally die but 20 years after nada always warned me

about it when I was a kid and she didn't want me to tell the truth of

how slutty my nada was to my grandma- always secrets, secrets,

secrets). I tell that to my grandfada too- that I value saving for my

kids college more than running up my credit card bills so I can go

see him. He doesn't know what to think of that. He always valued his

parents over his kids (and clearly I can see now that his family was

very bpd as well even though he's more npd) and so the value system I

have was not inherited and he doesn't understand it. Oh well. I just

know what my priorities are.

Kerrie

> > > > >

> > > > > Sofia,

> > > > > You reminded me of my getting-into-Columbia-story. It was

> my

> > > > first-choice school, but instead I had to go to a " lesser

> school "

> > > > because that school had offered me a full scholarship with

> room

> > and

> > > > board, and Columbia would have required my parents to pay a

> small-

> > -

> > > > and I mean a small--amount toward room and board. " They

> couldn't

> > > > afford it, " (oh, they could).

> > > > >

> > > > > It's not so much the fact that the other school was

> a " lesser

> > > > school " that galled me--but the fact that nada and stepdad

> would

> > > > not extend themselves, nor pay one " unnecessary " cent--in

> order

> > for

> > > > me to go to a place that I really wanted. I ended up going

to

> a

> > > > school that I had zero interest in attending, in a city in

> which

> > I

> > > > had zero interest in living.

> > > > >

> > > > > My silver lining is that I met my husband at the " lesser

> > school "

> > > > and he has been such a blessing in my life.

> > > > >

> > > > > But even now, years later, the idea that they totally

> > > > disregarded my wishes and were unwilling to spend one cent

on

> my

> > > > education--that still makes me angry. They were spoiled

> because

> > > > they got rid of me free of charge at the boarding school's

> > expense

> > > > for four years, and they would be d***ed if they would start

> > > > spending money on me at that point.

> > > > >

> > > > > So many years later, but still angry. Sheesh.

> > > > > Flea

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > ---------------------------------

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> > > > >