Guest guest Posted March 3, 2006 Report Posted March 3, 2006 , Our previous moderator calls these 'nada tapes'. The only effective way I've found to shut them up is to reach the child in my head who is coming up with them, and talk to that kid in age-specific language. It really seems to work for me. Everybody must find their own technique at what shuts the voice up. Sylvia yells at hers. Some people are able to use simple logic, telling themselves, as grown-ups, why the statement is a distortion, and its origins and the reasons a nada would say such a thing. It's just about finding the right technique, and that takes work, but it's totally worth it. Charlie > > Hello people, > Has anyone else here been constantly criticised by your dearest? > Nothing I had ever did was good enough. > The thing i have is: I can't seem to get Yeti's little voice out of my > head whenever I do something. > I can be doing the ironing, and suddenly " No no no not that way blah > blah blah " > Anyone else noticed? > > > > Send instant messages to your online friends http://au.messenger.yahoo.com > Quote
Guest guest Posted March 3, 2006 Report Posted March 3, 2006 > > Hello people, > Has anyone else here been constantly criticised by your dearest? > Nothing I had ever did was good enough. Yes and what I say to those messages is: You are not my voice, you are untrue and do not belong here. I mentally stamp it 'Return to Sender' like a misdelivered piece of hate mail. I think one has to truly realize that those sayings are false and have little or nothing to do with reality. They are weapons that were used against us from very immature and disturbed beings. It is our choice as to whether we continue to allow these lies to dictate our feelings about ourself. I believe it is that simple and can be changed fairly quickly as we embrace who we really are because there will be no room for anything that isn't us. It can only survive if we give it attention and energy. Quote
Guest guest Posted March 3, 2006 Report Posted March 3, 2006 LOL! Yes, I do yell at my negative voice. I tell it to get the heXX out of my head. It tries to argue with me, but I just yell louder (and sometimes even more profanely). I think it is funny to write about, because anyone who knows me (outside of this list) would not think I was capable of yelling at anyone! The other thing that our former moderator said was that this was 'nada living rent free in our heads'. The yelling really works for me because the voice, the tape, is emotional and irrational. My rational dialog never did get rid of it, but the yelling does. Sylvia > > > > Hello people, > > Has anyone else here been constantly criticised by your dearest? > > Nothing I had ever did was good enough. > > The thing i have is: I can't seem to get Yeti's little voice out > of my > > head whenever I do something. > > I can be doing the ironing, and suddenly " No no no not that way > blah > > blah blah " > > Anyone else noticed? > > > > > > > > Send instant messages to your online friends > http://au.messenger.yahoo.com > > > Quote
Guest guest Posted March 5, 2006 Report Posted March 5, 2006 Have you ever had something old and stinky in your fridge? Onions, spinach, broccoli, something really yucky. It permeates everything in there. The milk and butter especially. This is how I am- permeated by nada's stinky criticisms. I have a hard time going to church b/c nada is always there in my head, twisting religion into a weapon to make me feel guilty and sub-human. It's not church that keeps me away, it's nada's stinkiness that is stuck in my head. She also prides herself on being able to get a good deal at the store. I was badgered so many times about how irresponsible I was with money when I was a kid. Thusly, I am guilty to spend more than the bare minimum on necessary items. A couple of years ago she went on a tirade about how cheap I am! Whatever!! It's never good enough! She doesn't even know what she wants or thinks anyway. It changes with the weather. It's hard to get her out of my head though! Arrrrgh! Adria Hutton wrote: Hello people, Has anyone else here been constantly criticised by your dearest? Nothing I had ever did was good enough. The thing i have is: I can't seem to get Yeti's little voice out of my head whenever I do something. I can be doing the ironing, and suddenly " No no no not that way blah blah blah " Anyone else noticed? Send instant messages to your online friends http://au.messenger.yahoo.com Problems? Ask our friendly List Manager for help at @.... SEND HER ANY POSTS THAT CONCERN YOU; DO NOT Respond ON THE GROUP. To order the KO bible " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " call 888-35-SHELL () for your copy. We also refer to “Understanding the Borderline Mother” (Lawson) and “Surviving the Borderline Parent,” (Roth) which you can find at any bookstore. Welcome to the WTO community! From Randi Kreger, Owner BPDCentral, WTO Online Community and author SWOE and the SWOE Workbook. Quote
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